by R. M. Walker
“Sneaking around in dark buildings at 2 am?”
“If that’s such a reason for suspicion, seems like we both have some explaining to do.”
Right then and there, I should’ve taken off my mask. Gotten it over once and for all. But I couldn’t. There was some weakness in me that resisted the instinct, and in the time it took me to realize I wasn’t going to do what was necessary, James lunged.
The guy had moves; there was no way he was a normal civilian. No matter how I could’ve reasoned away his presence sneaking around in the Arc de la Patrie, there was no getting around the fact that he was trained.
Unfortunately for me and my lack of martial arts knowledge, the only thing I had going for me was my lithe form, my mad strength, and the feminist rage that Destiny W. claimed fueled it.
I leapt aside, estimating a move that was meant to be a headlock. Instead, I flailed and James collided with my outstretched arm. The force of his impact paired with the half-hearted attempt of my arm to grab him sent him flying backward.
“Sorry, sorry!” Dammit, why was I apologizing?
“Fuck, woman. You’re strong,” James said, out of breath as he made to stand.
“Doing my best not to be a cliché,” I retorted.
He laughed as I advanced on him and he dodged one of my punches. Not his pretty face, Elle!
James grunted as he evaded me. “Not possible, you–” Not his family jewels, Elle! “–being cliché.”
I kicked, and he darted the opposite way I’d thought he was going, my foot landing square against his upper thigh. Fuck, that was too close, Elle Penis Breaker! Calm down!
“Why’s that?” I huffed, leaping onto his back.
“I think I saw one of your YouTube videos once. You’re one of the ones who save small animals?”
“I’m–” I hissed “–the only one!”
He backed up into the wall, ramming me into it and I dropped off his back. It was really difficult, trying to be gentle enough not to break his balls but not so gentle that I didn’t neutralize him. I hated it, that I was trying to stop the guy from brainwashing the entire city against half its population, and here I was also trying to protect him from myself.
With that thought shining in my mind, I kicked him in the back and he slid across the floor. I stormed over to where he was lying, but he stuck out his foot and I tripped, falling on him. My hands landed on either side of his head, fingerprints now forever embedded in the stone floor. James tried to sit up and I pushed him back down roughly.
Well, now that I was here...
I straddled him, sitting down on his upper chest with my crotch dangerously close to his face. I saw him looking at it, and then he smirked up at me. I squeezed my thighs, and he choked.
“Guess this time I come out on top,” I said.
“That’s where it’s at.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“That’s not what I’m trying–”
I dug my hips in even more and he wheezed. I knew I should’ve done it – should’ve taken him out right then and there for the basic advancement of mankind. But Elle McCloskey was not a blood-shedding superhero. She was a cat rescuing one. And looking down at James as his face turned bluer, I couldn’t help but see a lonely cat in his eyes.
Men were like them – cats. Life was a game of playing of cool, always wanting out when they were in and in when they were out. They had to be told no means no about a million and one times, and even then it was still anyone’s guess as to whether or not they’d listen. But most importantly: men and cats both secretly craved attention, and always wanted to be fed.
Somehow, we still managed to love them.
Somehow, I’d ended up loving James.
I stood up with a huff, and he stared at me disbelieving. “Get out before I change my mind.”
“It’s on the terrace at the top of the Arc. What you’re looking for. That’s what I meant.”
I didn’t know what to say to someone who seemed to be helping me but was also a proven liar. So I just said, “I’m gonna need that mask back.” Without a backward glance, I made my way to the terrace.
* * *
The crowds were gathering in glittering pockets around the base of the Arc de la Patrie. The whole night was bathed in the chatter of collective excitement. Des, Dari, Ralph and I hung back as the band began to play on the dais just in front of the monument, our energy enthusiastic but tinged with apprehension.
“Hands in the middle, hands in the middle!” Dari said. “One, two, three– all hail the Pussy Party!” We looked up at her skeptically as our hands few out of the stack. “Too much?” she asked, making a face. “Sorry, I already Tweeted it.”
“Elle, remember on your mask to–” Des waggled her fingers at me in a ‘gimme’ way and I handed my mask off to her.
“Oh, I forgot. You already have it switched to incognito mode. Cool.”
“What?” I asked as she passed it back to me.
“It’s a safety device built into all of Ludovanti’s masks. I forgot yours was enabled already, cause you look normal to me. When we hacked it, we gave it facial recognition for the three of us.,” she shrugged.
“Des,” I asked, suddenly suspicious, “what exactly does this incognito mode do, and would a masquerade mask have the same setting?”
She frowned. “It gives people, like, a vaguer impression of you so that you’re harder to identify after the fact. Everyone knows you can totally tell who a person under their mask!” Des glanced quickly at the crowd and then back to me. “As for a masquerade mask? If it’s Ludovanti then yeah. It was the design that made him famous. He made them so that they could, like, sync, too. Into the giant mask cloud or wherever. So any time you pop one on, it recognizes your skin texture and disguises your identity. He was so ahead of his time.”
“Fuck!” I muttered.
“What’s wrong?” Dari asked.
I didn’t have time to be distracted, so I waved it off. “Nevermind. Let’s do this.”
* * *
The secret entrance fell open with one shove of my boot. “C’mon,” I nodded to Ralph.
We navigated the dimly lit halls inside, Des in my ear. “You’ve got one coming up behind you, girl.”
I flipped around just in time to see a hulking figure coming at me, accompanied by a “Hey you!” which he shouted in my general direction.
“I have a name, you know,” I said.
As he neared, I saw that the guard was none other than a grown-up Luke Woolcox from the second grade. “Are we gonna have to do this again, Luke?” I sighed.
He went in for the grab as if his large bulking muscles were going to hold me.
How cute.
I dodged him, pulling Ralph to the side. When Luke charged a second time, I had no choice. I held out my hand and gave small push as he willingly crashed into it. He flew back and slammed against the wall. Sighing again, I stared down at Luke. He’d turned out so predictable.
Ralph found an open utility closet and held the door open for me with his foot, then pretended to help me drag Luke’s unconscious body into it.
“Another one, Elle!” Des’ voice rang into my ear.
“HEY! What’re you doing!”
“Awww shit,” I sighed, trying to stuff the rest of Luke’s toes into the closet inconspicuously. “Can you give me a little more heads up next time, Des?”
“Sorry, Dari just kicked the band offstage and started rapping. I was distracted.”
“Roger to level eight,” the guard said into his walkie as I turned around. “The girls are here. We’re going to need some backup.” Then he whipped out his Taser.
“Excusez-moi, mister. Ralph here is a man.”
By the time the others showed up approximately ten seconds later, I was already swinging wildly. Ralph cowered in the corner behind me while I swatted at the men half-heartedly, fearful of manslaughter. “I’m so sorry,” I squealed as my fist landed and a thick body and it went kathunk on the floor. “Oh god, sorry
,” I said, again as I knocked a second guy out with an inflexible karate chop into his ribs that knocked him against the wall. Wherever my hand made contact with a male body, it flew back and dropped like a fly. In under 30 seconds, I’d taken out a small fleet of guards with absolutely no strategy at all.
I nodded at Ralph as if we’d done the job together, and he smiled, a look of relief washing over his face. “Let’s go. It’s your time to shine,” I said.
We made our way up seven sets of staircases, huffing and puffing. “The lever is at the top of the Arc,” I said, “but the power source is in this room. Probably shouldn’t knock that door down, though.” I mused.
Ralph nodded and unhinged the code pad, pulling out a device which he hooked up to the exposed wires. A few moments later, the security light on the door blinked, the lock clicked open, and Ralph scurried inside. “I got this Elle. I’ll cut the power.”
I listened for a few seconds as Ralph got to work, but the silence was eerie. Something about this was too easy. “Hey Des,” I radioed, “Where is everyone?”
“All of the guards seem to be stationed on the upper levels,” she said, the frown evident in her voice.
They were guarding the lever. I glanced at Ralph, hoping he could get the job done, but in case he couldn’t–
“Ralph, something seems off. I’m going up top in case I can be of use there. Radio me if you need something.”
* * *
Getting through the guards was easy peasy. It was getting to the terrace and finding James up there that was hard.
I’d seen the lever with my own eyes the night before, and that’s how I knew James was doing something to it as he squatted over a panel near the front edge of the terrace. Undeniably phallic in design, the lever had been disguised to blend in with the frieze on the front facing surface of the Arc, only accessed by balancing precariously on a ledge that wrapped around the top.
“You’re earlier than I’d expected,” he called when he saw me standing there.
“Oh, let me check my watch– Sorry, equality is a little late,” I snapped. “Back away from... whatever it is that you’re doing, or I’ll kick your ass.”
“Dammit, woman, would you listen to me? Stop!”
“Don’t call me woman!” I stomped my foot and a small crack wove through the Arc.
“I can’t exactly yell at you dramatically without your fucking name!”
“FemiFist,” I shouted, putting my hands on my hips and only realizing in hindsight that I’d taken on a superhero stance.
“Not bad,” he called.
“STOP DISTRACTING ME!” I gritted my teeth. The fucker was going down.
James moved to close the space between us and I found myself not knowing what to do with my limbs, reduced to a woman who had to make a choice. There was no question; I could take him. But did I have the balls? Would it even be the right thing to do?
“I’m not working with, Coque,” he said. “I’m trying to prevent this device from doing its job.”
“If you were trying to disable it, you’d be downstairs in the control room.”
Static hit my ear as Ralph’s voice poured into it. “Hey, uh, Elle, we’ve got a problem... they’ve blocked the power up there from this room, I’ve been trying to see how they rerouted it but I got nada.”
“No,” James said, his damn eyes sparkling. “I’d be right here on this terrace with you.”
It was hard to unsee James naked now, even if he was supposed to be my foe. Every time I looked at him in his leathery getup, I just saw the contours of his muscles. Every time he moved, I remembered him moving inside me. And when he shouted? Hot damn, I just heard him groaning in pleasure as he came.
I swallowed, moving my gaze past the object of my distraction to where I knew the lever was protruding from the front of the Arc. “Ralphie, the control panel is up here on the terrace. I’m going to have to do the job myself.”
I took a step and James blocked me. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You know what I’m capable of.” I took another step and he still blocked me.
Fuck. Did I have to actually knock the guy out to accomplish this mission? My insides churned. “If we’re on the same side, then why are you being a pain in my ass?”
“If we’re on different sides, why haven’t you taken a swing at me?”
I stood there, frozen. He had me.
“Take off your mask,” James said quietly.
No way in hell. I took a deep breath and made to shove past him, but he leaped back at the last minute, letting me pass. And then he jumped on me from behind and I fell to the ground, using all my of strength not to turn around and wallop him in the balls. I focused all my energy on flipping him and then I pinned his wrists down with a single hand, staring at him and not totally hating the role reversal.
I hadn’t even broken a sweat, but my heart was galloping in my chest as I took in James’ labored breath. His chest was rising and falling between my legs and I leaned down, using my sternest cat-mom voice. “Stop.”
He raised his eyebrows, the ghost of that rascally smile on his face. “Stop getting in my way,” I said. “And stop enjoying this damn so much.”
I felt his muscles slacken underneath me as he surrendered to my strength. My hands released his wrists, but I sat there a moment, knees bent around either side of his hip bones, hands longing to rest on his chest. My very last moments with the misogynist of my dreams.
My head hung in defeat. “I so wanted you to be a good guy,” I sighed, wishing it hadn’t ended like this.
James stared up at me, and then lifted a hand to my mask. He peeled it off, and I let him. “Elle,” he said softly.
“Tell me one reason I should get off you,” I said, trying to sound threatening.
“I don’t have a good one from my vantage point, but mankind would be appreciative of it.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said quietly.
“I know you’re stronger than me, Elle. In more ways than one. I’m not trying to fight you.”
“Then why are you here?”
“You want to disable the device, but I’ve been trying to reconfigure it so that it does the opposite–”
Just then, Coque appeared on the terrace with Angus at his side to find me straddling his man down. “What the hell is she doing here!” Coque shouted in his French accent, the wind seeming to carry away half the letters he’d meant to pronounce.
“Trust me,” James grunted from underneath me, pushing ineffectively against my body as if he were trying to get up. I stood, slipping my mask back on.
James and I exchanged a look. He smirked, lifting a finger to his eye to indicate something in mine. “Sparkle,” he whispered, just as the fireworks soared up and exploded in the sky.
Then he dove at Coque. I am not even kidding, it was just as dramatic as every superhero movie trailer: two men battling against a dark backdrop of night as red, yellow, and green erupted around them in loud bursts that could’ve been CGI explosions.
Before I could make my move, Angus joined the brawl and lifted a Taser, shocking James. James cried out and Coque pummeled him. I ran to break them up, but Coque charged at James while he was down, and the two of them slid to the edge of the terrace. With lightning speed, James flipped Coque over the edge–
And Coque pulled James over the side with him.
“JAMES!” I screamed, his name ripping through my throat in terror. There was no way a person could survive that fall.
I gasped for the air that wasn’t getting to my lungs, but the bell tower began it’s long, droning tolls. “Ralphie, what do I do!” I breathed.
“No idea– I’d have to see it– I’m running up–” he wheezed.
Ralphie would never make it in time. The only thing I could do was flip the damn thing off.
I slipped down onto the front frieze of the Arc, feet searching for purchase as I tried to avoid the terrifying drop. The crowd was clapping along to what sounded like a rap battle.
So here I gotta be with my power of suggestion–”
I scaled the wall, crushing my fingers into the frieze for balance. When I reached the lever, I tried to flip it up but it wouldn’t budge. Never had I ever encountered something that my strength couldn’t decimate.
I looked over to see that Angus had followed me onto the ledge, benefitting from the finger holds I’d made. He was wielding the Taser in one hand – and I had nowhere to go but down.
The clock tolled six.
“The thing is, Elle, the Arc de la Patrie is my masterpiece,” Angus said, skirting the edges dangerously. “The second I saw that your name was on the firm, I had... oh, let’s say a feeling, that you’d try to undermine me. And since I know you’re little secret...”
“What are you talking about?”
“That thing you’re holding so tightly?” Angus said, smiling down at my enthusiastic grip on the phallic-looking lever. “It’s staying the way it is. And you... did you really believe we could be friends? That – that is the worst kind of lie. And I don’t like being lied to.”
He stuck me with the Taser faster than I thought possible and I screamed, slipping as I instinctively squirmed away. I caught myself on the lever, dangling off the side of the Arc de la Patrie, ten stories above the concrete pavement. Down below, Dari’s rap had taken a turn.
“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a woman fightin’ patriarchy,
Demanding for her rights so she don’t have to get so snarky.
That boss bitch up there? She ain’t no one’s daughter, sister, mother
She’s a fucking human being, and a woman like no other!”
“Ah.” Angus towered over me unsteadily, a smile on his lips. “The image of mankind as it should be.”
“You’re disgusting,” I hissed.
“I’m right. But you’ll never live long enough to see that.”
I could hear the mechanics whirring, the device ready to create the forcefield that would invisibly wipe men of their sensibilities. Two choices rose in my mind, neither one optimal: use the little leverage I had to pull myself up and get Tased, or use my current angle to attempt to break the lever clear off the Arc and hope that somehow stopped the machine. With Angus looming over me, spewing his ideas of a future filled with hate, it was an easy choice to make.
