by Stead, Nick
School’s Out
Meanwhile, everyone else in the normal, human world had exams to prepare for. I should have been revising along with the rest of them, but doing exams no longer seemed right. We were about to go on study leave, and I had better things to do than hours of revision each day.
“This is it,” I said to Becci as we filed into the hall for one last assembly. “Our moment of freedom.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait. I hope this doesn’t drag on too long – gotta make the most of alone time with Gavin while Mum’s at work, if you know what I mean.” She winked.
“Oh, I can guess.” I laughed.
We took our place among the rest of our Form and the final hour of boredom began. There were speeches about our future and how proud our teachers were of our year group, that sort of thing. To the monster I had become, it was all bull. But some part of me, some part of my old self that I had thought dead, was enjoying himself immensely.
“I would also like us to take a moment to remember Fiona and Jenny, two bright students taken from us far too soon,” Mrs Redgwell said. “This has been one of the saddest years for us as a school and I can only express my deepest condolences for their families. Let us take a minute of silence before we continue.”
The mood turned sombre with the mention of their names, and I heard a few sobs. Then she was back to talking of the future, and gradually the party feeling began to return.
“And now, all that’s left for me to say is how much we’re all going to miss you,” Mrs Redgewell said, “and to take this opportunity to wish you the very best of luck in your exams this summer. I know you’ve all been studying really hard and I have no doubt that hard work will pay off. But for now, we want to celebrate your time with us so please, help yourself to food at the back and enjoy the music. You deserve it!”
The playlist they’d put together kicked off with Busted. I cringed at the pop filling the hall and wondered which Form had chosen to subject me to this.
“Has no one in this school got any taste?” I complained, getting to my feet and looking round for the food.
“Nope!” Becci said, staying seated. “I voted for Manson but you know how our teachers feel about his ‘unwholesome image’.” She made quotation marks with her fingers as she said it and rolled her eyes.
“Nah, we should be hearing Alice Cooper right now! Is School’s Out not the perfect song for this moment? School is about to be out forever so why are we listening to lyrics about reasons to go to school?”
I could smell slices of pizza and cocktail sausages, but it looked like the catering staff were only just bringing it out so I sat back down again. Our Form’s song choice was up next and I grimaced once more.
“I can’t believe this is what our group went for. Who’s suggestion was this?”
Becci shrugged. “We’ll be out of here soon anyway, then we can listen to whatever we want. I’m going to blast out the filthiest songs I own as a fuck you to Ms Brooks for not letting us have something decent right now.”
I laughed and began to sing my own lyrics to our Form’s choice. “I won’t survive. I won’t survive. I’m gonna slit my wrist tonight, I’m no longer alive. I’ve got no more life to live, I’ve got all my blood to give. And I won’t survive. I won’t survive.”
“Brilliant,” Becci said, clapping and laughing along with me.
Most of our classmates were on their feet at that point. “Right, time to mingle and grab some food. I’ll catch you later, Becci.”
“Sure. Just leave some for the rest of us, okay?”
I laughed again and made my way along the row of chairs, passing Ava on the end. We nodded at each other but I didn’t want to get caught chatting and I knew it was Becci she wanted to see, so I didn’t stop.
Next on my agenda was finding Lizzy. Honestly, it was. But then the smell of all that delicious food wafted across the room, stronger than before and full of temptation. I couldn’t resist.
My nose led me to a decent spread of party food and I grabbed one of the paper plates, helping myself to a selection of savoury snacks, cake and biscuits. I was busy eating my fill when I heard a cry of “Nick! There you are.”
I turned to see Lizzy had found me. “Oh, hey.”
“I should have known,” she laughed.
“Can’t pass up free food.” But I was speaking through a huge mouthful of sausage and it came out garbled.
“What?”
“Sorry.” I swallowed. “I said, can’t pass up free food!”
“Oh.” She glanced at the table, then back at me, her eyes glistening with tears.
“What’s up?”
“Oh, Nick, I’m going to miss you!” she wailed, pulling me into a hug. The move caught me by surprise and I almost dropped my plate, a biscuit sliding off the edge and falling to the floor in an explosion of crumbs.
“Erm,” I said, patting her back uncertainly. What was I supposed to say to that? “It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll still see each other in the real world and we’re looking at going to the same college, right? You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
She let me go with a laugh, wiping her eyes and shaking her head. “You’re a fucking clueless idiot sometimes.”
“I know. Isn’t that why you love me?”
“I suppose it is.”
I smiled and looked round to find she wasn’t the only one in tears. They couldn’t possibly enjoy school, could they? I supposed they were probably mourning the end of an era, the end of a life that had been all they’d known for the last five years. That life had long since been taken from me by the wolf, but for them it was only just ending, and perhaps some were caught up in the emotion of its end, coupled with the uncertainty of what the future held. Whatever the reason, it was a human experience I couldn’t share in and I felt out of place once more
The sound of the doors opening caught my attention.
“You can go when you’re ready!” Mrs Redgewell called out. “Straight home though please – we don’t want to end your time with us on a bad note so no getting into trouble with the police or putting yourselves in danger.”
“Finally!” I said, rushing forward before anyone could stop me. “See you later, Lizzy!”
She burst into tears again and I shook my head. I caught a glimpse of David on my way out, sitting by himself with eyes red from his own tears. He looked up as I passed, his face darkening as our gazes met. I frowned. What was his problem? He might still be mourning Fiona but he couldn’t expect the rest of us to be miserable at a time like this.
The world felt brighter again when I stepped outside, making my way through the gates and singing School’s Out at the top of my lungs, to a chorus of more tears. I paused to give school the finger, then I turned away from the hated building and never once looked back. Well, except for when we had to go in for exams. Being a werewolf didn’t get me out of sitting them, even if I wasn’t going to bother to try and pass – not while I was still trying to live a human life, at any rate. It was better to go in and endure them than avoid the trouble of not turning up.
Minutes later I was raiding the fridge for a couple of bottles of beer. I was home alone; Mum had to carry on working at the school until they broke up, and then she had to do an extra ten days at some point over the summer holiday, while Dad was in Leeds for the day. Things couldn’t have worked out better.
It was tempting to work my way through the entire crate of Stella, but it would only make things worse with Dad. My self-control might not survive a fight, much as part of me wanted an excuse for one.
Beer in hand, I headed into the study and booted up the PC, knowing full well it was probably one of my last days of normality. Soon I would be forced to give up humanity completely. It had already begun. Once the anger was free and I embraced the beast – not the wolf but the darkness in all of us – I really would be a monster. That anger had driven me to kill a rabbit and beat Jamie to a pulp. There was no telling what it would do if I fully
embraced it. I only knew that it would make me no better than the wolf itself, and then there would be no going back.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Darkness Eternal
Dad came home that evening in a rage.
“Nick, have you been at my beer without asking?” he bellowed.
“I only had a couple.”
“You had no right, son, no right! Taking things I’ve paid for without permission – have I not brought you up better than that?”
My own anger strained against its chains. “Actually, Mum paid for the shopping with her own money so technically they’re hers.”
His hands balled into fists. “How many times do I have to tell you not to answer back? Get to your room. Now!”
I could feel the growl rumbling in my throat and turned away before I did something I was going to regret, storming up to my room as I’d been told. Alice froze when I entered, perhaps sensing my anger. I moved to grab him, then thought better of it. Being bitten was only going to make my mood worse.
My mood definitely called for music though, so I blasted out the most horrific songs in my collection, knowing how Dad really hated hearing lyrics about necrophilia and other sick topics. They didn’t bother me anymore, like they had at the height of my depression. I didn’t even have to deal with any mental images of my victim’s corpses being defiled.
Mum called me down about an hour later. Dad hadn’t wanted to end the punishment so soon but Mum had intervened again and he’d backed down, fuming on his chair in the dining room while he watched golf. He was still there when Mum asked me to make her a coffee, later that evening.
I filled the kettle, doing my best not to look at Dad as I turned it on. His eyes might never have left the TV screen if it hadn’t been for the noise of it boiling, loud enough to drown out the football news he had on.
“Turn that off.”
“So football’s more important than your own family?” I snarled. But I really had gone too far this time. He rose from the chair so forcefully that it was pushed back along the floor, charging over to wrap his hand around my throat.
“You ungrateful sod. I’ll knock your head off!”
I yelled at the top of my voice, in shock more than anything. His reaction wasn’t entirely unexpected but it still caught me off-guard.
“John!” Mum had come running through from the lounge. She didn’t hesitate, rushing over and pulling us apart.
I stood glaring at him while Mum fought to keep him from hurting me, and the bastard kept shouting over and over again “I’ll have you son! I’ll have you!”
“Nick, go to your room,” Mum said.
“I don’t need your help, Mum – I can handle this.”
“Just go, Nick.”
I swore loudly but did as I was told. Mum didn’t bother to tell me off; she was too busy trying to calm Dad down. I could hear everything from my room and my hatred for him grew every time I heard his voice.
“The bastard. I’ll kill him!” I growled under my breath. “I swear I’ll kill him!”
The anger was free at last.
“I’ll kill him!” I roared to the empty room.
Raising my hands with palms facing upwards, I watched my fingers curl into claws, the nails lengthening to wicked points. My eyes raised to meet their reflection in the window, blazing a murderous amber within a face twisted into a bestial snarl, fangs bared. It wasn’t a human facial expression.
With another roar, I turned and slashed the wall, the claws ripping through as if it were soft as flesh. Man, that felt good. I could feel the wolf beside me and I didn’t fight it, though I didn’t let it take over either. Just knowing I had all that strength and power at my command made me feel better, at least for that night. I wanted blood, but I could wait for it.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and bowed my head, trying to push the anger back down. When I looked up, hazel eyes stared back at me out of the human face in the window, though they were bloodshot, and some of the anger still lurked behind them. Later. I would call on that anger later, and then we would have blood.
Shadows danced across the ceiling; shapeless things called into life by a combination of the moonlight, streetlamps, and car headlights filtering through the curtains. Somewhere below, raised voices argued about their marriage. Footsteps sounded on the landing where Amy crouched, her breathing shaky. And just behind my eyeballs, images lurked – nightmares waiting to ensnare me. I would face them when I was ready. I wasn’t afraid of them anymore, and yet they would not leave me alone.
With a sigh, I rose from the bed and went to join my sister. We sat in silence while the argument raged below.
“So are you going to tell me what happened with Nick this evening?”
“There’s nothing to tell, Emma. I’ll not stand for his cheek under my roof.”
“Yes, I understand that but did you have to go so far?” There was a pause. “What is this really about, John?”
It seemed like he couldn’t answer her. I was willing to bet he couldn’t even meet her eyes.
“I think it’s time you sought help, or at the very least some coaching in anger management. For the kids’ sake, if not for mine.”
He agreed, but his voice sounded hollow, as if his heart wasn’t really in it. Did he regret what had happened? I wasn’t sure. Then Mum asked him why he was in a mood all the time. He made some poor excuses about how they never did anything together as a couple and they lived completely separate lives, but what he was really saying was that he’d grown bored.
Amy turned to me, a look of horror on her face. “Nick, they’re talking about divorce!”
Of the three of us, I think she would have suffered most if the family broke apart. I’d been hoping it would happen for years, feeling certain we’d have been better off without him. Not that I really believed they would ever separate. They’d talked about it before and in the end always made up. It was part of the cycle Dad put us all through. But Amy believed, and alongside the fear there was a pleading look, as if I could say something and make it all better.
The anger was growling for blood again. All it needed was a spark now, then the rage would drive out the monster in me.
I didn’t want to lose control at home where Mum and Amy might get hurt. I needed something else to direct it to, someone else. Someone outside the family I could kill and feel no remorse for, someone who would feed the anger before it controlled me. And then I remembered the Slayers. I could shed their blood. They were nameless, faceless people to me back then, and they were the enemy. And in a way, they had made me what I am. For if they hadn’t hunted us to near extinction they would not have driven the werewolf to share his curse and I would most likely still be human. I may have got through a mortal life without ever being bitten and eventually died a natural death. The Slayers had taken everything from me.
Amy was still searching my face for an answer. I turned away. Mum and Dad’s marriage was not my problem anymore. None of it was. We were at war, and I had found a reason to fight.
Lady Sarah sat on a coffin singing to herself, her voice high and unnatural, yet somehow more beautiful than any human.
“Hey,” I said. “You sing better than me. Didn’t recognise the song though.”
She smiled. “It is something I wrote centuries ago for the vampire who made me. Our time together might have been brief, yet it was enough to know I love him. I will find him again someday, when the war is over and the world is safer for our kind.”
“Cool.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Is it? Clearly you are not here to talk about my singing, nor my love life. What troubles you?”
“No, not really. For the past few months I’ve been fighting the wolf, but I’m losing and I want blood. You told me we’re at war, and I’m finally ready to fight.”
She shook her head. “You should not seek to fight. The war will find you eventually, and once it does you can never again have the life you have known. Are you willing to give that
up so soon? I would encourage you to embrace your other half as I have said before, but you do not have to go to war for that. The longer you avoid the Slayers the longer you can live among humans. I know how much that means to you, even if it does not seem like it sometimes.”
Her eyes showed a hint of warmth then, but it was gone so quick I wondered if I’d imagined it. Was this my future I was looking at?
“I’ve already crossed that line,” I said. “I can’t live as a human anymore. And what if it’s too late for that? What if the war has already found me? They tracked me down on the first night I changed. Why haven’t they come back to finish me off or come looking to take revenge on you? Something isn’t right. They may not know who I am, but they know my wolf form. I should be dead by now.”
Lady Sarah was silent for a moment. “I cannot give you an answer to that. Perhaps they are hoping to learn your human identity so they can kill you when you are less dangerous and unprepared. I just do not know.”
I didn’t like her answer. The more I thought about it, the less it made sense. The Slayers were up to something. But I had other questions. I was still curious about the vampires. They had been alive for centuries, longer than I could even begin to imagine! “So what role have you played in this war? Do you remember the last battle when there was an army to fight for us, before they began to pick us off one by one?”
“I fought in that battle. I have fought them many times, when I’ve had to. Often times for survival, and also for revenge on occasion. And other times purely for the love of killing and feasting on their blood. They have not given us any choice. If it weren’t for them we would be far more numerous, and the human population would not have increased so drastically over the last century. Though if it weren’t for them, perhaps the war between my kind and yours would still rage on, keeping our numbers in check as well.
“But now they are too numerous and we are too few to fight the battles of times long past, so the war is reduced to small skirmishes whenever we cross paths. With today’s technology, only the most powerful stand a chance, and even then they would rather hide than risk death. We are but a shadow of what we once were. Every undead race has suffered at the hands of the Slayers.”
