by Cassia Leo
“Yeah, but your eyes give you away.”
“To who? Do you think any of the guys from the neighborhood spent hours dreaming about my eyes the way you have?”
He smirks and I smack his arm. “You think that’s funny?”
“No. I think it’s beautiful.” He leans across the backseat and holds my chin as he lays a soft kiss on my jaw. “But not as beautiful as you.”
I press my lips together to hide my stupid grin. By the time we get to Coney Island, I’m on hyper-alert for any of our old friends and neighbors. Most of them are married with kids now. So Sunday night is probably not the most popular night for them to come to Coney Island. But I’m still very nervous.
The instant the car pulls into the parking lot at the Brooklyn Cyclones ballpark, my nerves subside. This was one of my favorite places to go as a kid. My dad would always take me to a couple of games in the summer. Until the shakeup in 2004. But I don’t ever remember Marco coming with us.
Knox helps me out of the car and keeps a hold of my hand as we walk toward the park entrance. “You once told me about how your dad used to bring you here. You said it was your favorite place in all of Brooklyn.”
“I did?”
He laughs. “Yeah, the time I came to the shop and you were stealing some soda cans out of the cooler. You held the cans against your cheeks. You were all sunburned. I asked you what you were doing and you said you were cooling off.”
“I remember. That was the day we met.”
“Yeah. I was seventeen and you were twelve. Always off limits.”
“Until now.”
He chuckles then nods at the guy at the ticket counter. “No, you’re still off limits. But I’ve worked my way around that tonight.”
The guy behind the counter nods toward the entrance and we enter without showing any tickets.
“You don’t even need tickets here, huh?”
“You’ll see why.”
He holds tightly to my hand as he leads me past the gates and through the maze of people making their way to the stands. Eventually, we end up on the Brooklyn Rooftop at the top of the stadium overlooking left field. This space is usually packed with summer partiers, hence the nickname “the party deck.” But we’re the only ones up here.
There’s a slight breeze in the air now that it’s almost seven p.m. With the smell of the ballpark and the sounds of the crowd below us, something about this night feels magical.
We walk to the edge of the rooftop and I grab the guardrail to look down at the people below us, jostling each other to get to their seats. “This is the best date I’ve ever been on.”
“It’s only just begun, baby.”
We spend most of the game standing next to each other. Until the seventh inning, when it starts to get nippy. Knox stands behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. Occasionally nibbling my ear or brushing his lips over my neck. I feel like a lovesick teenager. And I’ve never felt better.
The Cyclones win and we leave the stadium in great spirits amongst a crowd of people, half of them cheering rowdily and half of them looking like the walking dead. Dying to get home and get to bed before they start their workweek tomorrow morning. Like me.
“I have to get home,” I say as we head out of the stadium.
“Just one more place.” He smiles and his eyes twinkle in the moonlight. “I promise it will be quick.”
He leads me down the path toward the boardwalk. It’s almost ten p.m. Most of the shops on the boardwalk will be closed right now, even though it’s summer. They’re only open late on Fridays and Saturdays.
I don’t mention this. I let him take me on a long walk down the boardwalk away from the stadium toward 10th Street. The crowds thin out the farther we get from the stadium. Then they get denser the closer we get to 10th.
We pass Luna Park and 10th Street and he smiles when I sigh. “We’re almost there.”
Finally, we arrive at the aquarium and I’m not surprised to find that it’s closed. He moves up close to the decorative metal cutouts. Reefs, fish, seals, and sea plants, all cut out of sheets of metal and painted a beautiful sea-green, adorn the entrance to the aquarium.
Knox looks behind a coral reef cutout on the left and smiles. “Come here.”
I squeeze in next to him and he hoists me up onto the rail that surrounds the park. It’s at least a twenty-foot drop to the park floor below, but I know Knox won’t let me fall. Right there on the backside of the coral reef are the following words written in black permanent marker: Wait for me. ML 04-18-06.
Tears well up in my eyes. Even though he never told me about this, I feel slightly ashamed that I never knew it was here.
“I wrote this here eight years ago after I left your house.” He sets me down on the boardwalk then reaches up to brush a tear off my cheek. “I never did see your father that day, but I think it worked out for the best. He might have convinced me to stay.”
I smile at this. “Yeah, he could be very convincing.”
“Rebecca, the last time I saw you, you promised you’d wait to give yourself to someone who deserved you. I hoped that you’d see this message a long time ago, or that this mission would be done years ago. And I could come back to you before you belonged to someone else.” He cradles my face in his hands and plants a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose. “I wanted to be your first. But now I realize that it doesn’t matter, as long as I’m your last.”
He gazes into my eyes, waiting for me to confirm this. And I can think of no better way to do that than with the kind of kiss we shared eight years ago.
Despite the fact that I have to get up at the crack of dawn to be at work the next day, I can’t let Knox go home without showing him how much I appreciate everything he did for me tonight. When we enter my apartment, I almost expect to find August or Lenny waiting for me. I never told Knox about my conversation with Lenny. I’ll tell him tomorrow. Tonight, I want to forget about Knox’s revenge mission and just enjoy the most amazing night of my life with Marco Leone.
Chapter 13
It’s a few days late, but I decide to take Lita to brunch on Tuesday. I ask for a personal day and head down to the Financial District. Lita works for an investment firm where she makes, in her words, “pretty decent money.” She doesn’t have to take a day off when she wants to take a three-hour lunch.
We meet at the only place I know in this neighborhood with good brunch. It’s the same place where I met August and his mother for brunch about seven months ago. The food was fantastic, though the company was a bit stiff.
After sitting at my table for more than ten minutes, I call Lita to see where she is. I get her voicemail, but I don’t bother leaving a message. Instead, I send her a text.
I set my phone on the table and pull out my face powder to do a touchup. The sound of August’s voice makes my shoulders lock up.
“Rebecca, what are you doing here? I thought you were working today.”
Rebecca?
“I have the day off,” I say, standing up. “So nice to see you again, Mimi.”
August’s mother, Mimi, is standing next to him in a baby-blue Chanel pantsuit. His right eye is twitching, almost winking at me. I take that to mean his mother doesn’t know we’re broken up yet. And he doesn’t want me to tell her.
Mimi reaches her bony arms toward me and bumps her cheekbone against mine. Even her flowing blonde hair smells like Chanel No. 5. She steps back and looks down her nose at me with the usual phony smile.
“This isn’t your usual hangout. Is it, Becky?”
I smile and pause for effect. “No, actually I’m meeting a friend.”
August’s eyes flash with horror. He’s expecting me to say I’m meeting Knox.
“Well, don’t be rude, August.” Mimi elbows him in the arm. “Offer to pick up their tab or something. Whatever it is you kids with blogs do these days.”
I cover my mouth as I chuckle and August rolls his eyes.
“I’m just meeting my friend Lita,” I clari
fy for August’s sake. “But she’s late. I think I may just head on out. I have errands to run.”
“Oh, nonsense. Join us in the garden room,” Mimi insists.
“I really can’t. But thank you for the offer. You two have a beautiful brunch.”
I take one last sip of my iced water and I’m suddenly overcome with a wave of nausea. I hesitate as I wait for the sensation to pass, then I lean over to kiss August on the cheek.
He takes the opportunity to whisper in my ear. “Thank you, Rebecca.”
I try not to look as if I’m running out of there, but it’s hard when I’m practically running out of there. I explode out of the entrance doors onto the sidewalk and release a small spew of bile onto the pavement.
August appears at my side. “Are you okay?”
“What are you doing out here? Go back in there with your mom.” I swipe the back of my hand across my mouth then push his hand off the small of my back. “Go, August.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
I look into his green eyes. Then I look at the black SUV across the street. Why do August and I keep running into each other? Well, technically, this is the first time. The last time wasn’t really a run-in. Still, I can’t help but feel as though August is watching me.
“I have to go.”
I take off toward the CVS on Fulton as I silently do the math in my head. I got my period the week after I met Knox. It’s been about three weeks since then. Is it possible for me to be pregnant?
Knox said he couldn’t impregnate me. Did I really make such a rookie mistake?
Chapter 14
I enter CVS and immediately head for the feminine products aisle. I find the pregnancy tests and, instinctively, I look around me to see if anyone is watching. Sure enough, a man in a dark suit passes by the mouth of the aisle slowly. His sunglasses pointed straight at me.
Did Knox lie to me? Or did I just misunderstand him?
I grab six different tests and power walk to the checkout lane. The clerk pretends not to judge me as she scans my items and asks if I have a discount card I’d like to use.
“No,” I reply curtly. Obviously, I’m in a hurry, lady, I almost say.
I almost expect Knox to be waiting in a black SUV outside the store. Ready to whisk me away to a location where I can pee on a stick in private. But I can’t even see the security car anymore. I walk around the corner toward the subway station and head home.
Chapter 15
I’ve been staring at the six boxes lined up on my bathroom counter for more than an hour. I’ve read the back of each box twice. But I still can’t decide which one to open first. Or if I should open any of them.
Knox wouldn’t lie to me about something like this. I’m only one day late. That’s nothing to worry about.
An hour later, I toss all the tests back into the CVS bag and head for Knox’s office.
No one tries to stop me when I insist on seeing Knox today. He’s not expecting me this time. And I’m keeping my cool with everyone, even the weird redheaded receptionist on the top level. She allows me to escort myself to the last office down the long, gray corridor.
I knock on the door and the sound of Knox’s laughter makes my skin prickle. Is his laughter genuine? Is any part of Knox real?
I wait a little more than a minute before he barks at the door. “Come in.”
Good. He doesn’t know it’s me. I finally get to catch him by surprise.
I enter his office and he smiles as he leans back in his chair. His gaze falls to the plastic bag dangling from my hand and he nods. He does know why I’m here. Of course he does. One of his guys saw me buying the damn tests.
“You think this is amusing?” I say, holding up the bag.
“I think you’re overreacting. I told you I’m not capable of getting you pregnant.”
“What do you mean by not capable?”
“I mean that I had a fucking vasectomy last year!”
I swallow another pocket of bile. “You what?”
“I was in a dark place. I thought I’d never find a way to get you back in my life. You had your new preppy boyfriend, and I had nothing but one-night stands. Every girl I fucked was just a stepping stone on my way to you, but I felt like those stones were leading me farther away.”
He leans forward and rests his head in his hands as he stares at the surface of the glass desk. “I didn’t see any point in taking chances. If I accidentally got a girl pregnant while wearing a condom, I knew I’d never love that child the way I’d love our child. Then I’d be just like my fucking father. For all I know, that’s why my father left. Because my mom and I were only second-best. And he couldn’t stand the sight of us.”
I set the bag down on one of the chairs and round the desk. I kneel next to his chair. “Knox, look at me.”
“No, I’m not done.” He heaves a deep sigh. “When I found out about your father’s case, I asked the doctor to reverse the vasectomy. He told me there was a chance I might still not be able to have children, but I didn’t care. I told him to go ahead with the procedure.” He finally turns his chair and grabs my face. “He said my body was making antibodies that were killing off my little swimmers. I’d never be able to have children of my own.”
I shake my head. “So, it’s possible you’re no longer creating antibodies, right?”
“I don’t think so. But maybe you should take one of those tests before you jump to any conclusions.”
I glance at the chair on the other side of his desk where I set down the bag of tests. “Can you take me home?”
“I have a doctor on staff here. You can see her.”
“No, I don’t want to see a doctor I don’t know. Just take me home. If the test is positive, I’ll go to my own doctor.”
He lets out a deep sigh before he agrees to my terms. We enter the apartment at half past noon. The summer sun is shining through my sheer curtains. It’s at least ten degrees hotter inside than it was outside. I switch on the window air conditioning unit and grab the bag of tests to head for the bathroom, when my phone rings.
I don’t recognize the phone number, but I recognize the area code. Someone’s calling me from Poughkeepsie.
“Hello?”
“Lita—I mean—Becky. This is Lita’s mom, Carrie Matthews.”
This had to be the biological mother I’d never met.
“Hi, Carrie! Have you heard from Lita? She was supposed to meet me for brunch an hour ago.”
“Becky… Lita’s been abducted!”
Part 3
Chapter 1
I bought the rundown bistro in the Meatpacking District two years ago. I closed it down immediately, then I got a letter from “a concerned resident.” He was worried that I was devaluing the neighborhood by closing down a local favorite. People who concern themselves with stuff like property values and the historical richness of a rundown restaurant are the kind of people I envy.
They don’t worry about whether they’ll wake up in the morning with the muzzle of a silencer pressed against their forehead. They don’t look at every single person they know and wonder if—or when—that person will betray them. And they sure as fuck don’t worry that the person they care about most in this world will be killed today, and they’ll have no one to blame but themselves.
There are a million reasons I do the things I do. And those are just a few. Avenging my mother used to be the number one reason. Now it’s her.
Rebecca is gone. I’ll stop at nothing to get her back. And Lenny and Gino know that.
I snap my fingers at Billy as we enter the restaurant. “Dust off one of those tables and take it to the back. And three chairs. Hurry up!”
Bruno locks the door after Lenny and Gino enter behind me. Lenny looks around the dusty restaurant as if he’s entered a fucking haunted house.
“What are we doing here?” Gino asks nervously.
Gino’s a young kid from the old neighborhood. His father was close to Tony Angelo. Before his father accidental
ly fell off the Brooklyn Bridge onto a passing tour boat. I’ll admit, that was a rookie mistake on my part. But it happened a long time ago, before I knew how to make people talk.
“We’re just here to talk,” I say, flashing them a chummy smile. “Come on. Let’s go sit in the back where we can have a little more privacy.”
Gino and Lenny look at each other. They know they have no choice but to follow me. People don’t appreciate having their choices taken away. It triggers their animal instincts. That’s why you have to keep them calm. Don’t let them feel too threatened.
Billy has cleared a large area of the kitchen by pushing the stainless steel prep tables into the corner. The table and chairs he robbed from the front of the restaurant are now dust-free and standing coldly in the center of the kitchen.
“Have a seat, boys,” I direct them as I reach up to grab a few glasses off a shelf. “You want a glass of water?”
Lenny and Gino look at me like I’m crazy. They want me to get to the point.
“I asked you two if you want a fucking glass of water.”
“No,” they reply in unison.
I nod as I put back the dusty glass. Taking a seat in the third chair at the table, I lean back and smile at Lenny and Gino.
“Do you boys have any idea what I brought you here to talk about?”
They both shake their heads, but Lenny’s hiding something. He won’t look at me. I wait a moment for the rage to subside, then I continue.
“We’re here to talk about Rebecca Veneto. Do you all remember Rebecca? John’s little girl?”
Lenny’s eyes dart toward my face for a moment, then he looks down at the table again. “Yeah, I remember Rebecca. I… I ran into her the other day at the gym.”
“I know. What did you two talk about?”
“If you already know, then you probably know what we talked about.” I look Lenny in the eye for about two seconds before he continues. “All right. We talked about you.”
