by Cassia Leo
Nothing on my body moves. My hood doesn’t fly off exposing my hair. My sunglasses don’t bounce on my face. Every bit of my disguise remains in place as I fly down the streets of L.A. like a black phantom. Black hoodie. Black jeans. Black sunglasses. All hiding a ghostly face that would send children screaming.
My eyes close in on a group of three guys coming out of a liquor store a block ahead. Their eyes immediately lock on me, as if they’re waiting for me. They really don’t want to get in my way right now.
Get out of the way, assholes.
I want to shout this at them, but I’m not a vocal person. I’ll talk to someone at the gas station if they have a problem with their credit card or if they need directions, but mostly I keep quiet. I don’t talk to my neighbors. I don’t talk to store clerks when I go to the grocery store.
I don’t talk to people because I don’t like answering questions. I don’t care if my appearance makes people nervous and they need to ask questions just to feel more at ease around me. If you don’t feel at ease around me, fuck you. That’s not my problem.
Oh, now they’re standing shoulder to shoulder to block my path on the sidewalk. Stupid move.
The one on the left is wearing a white T-shirt that comes down to his knees to cover up the fact that his jeans are slung low enough to show his ass. The other two are just clones of him in different sizes. Shorty. Fatty. Stocky.
I rush Shorty at full speed, ramming my shoulder into his gut and sending him skidding across the concrete on his ass. Fatty and Stocky come at me from behind. I reach my hands back, crossing my wrists as I grab their noses. Then I twist around and ram their heads into each other.
Shorty gets off his ass and comes at me with a knife. I try to kick it out of his hand, but he steps back and I miss.
Always attacking, my father’s reminder rings in my head.
Fatty grabs the back of my hoodie and a good chunk of the ponytail underneath. I reach to gouge his eyes as he yanks me backward. I stomp on his foot, then I grab his hand and pull him between me and Shorty. I bend his hand back and bring my elbow down on his forearm, fracturing his radius. He drops to his knees as Shorty comes at me with the knife again.
“Hey, bitch!” Shorty says, holding the knife up as he approaches. “You look like a freak, but do you fuck like a freak?”
He pulls the knife back, ready to strike. I wait until the last moment. Just as he drives it forward toward my abdomen, I pull my leg up and deliver a blow to Shorty’s jaw that will no doubt have broken at least half his teeth and possibly rattled his brain enough to kill him. He hits the concrete with a sick thud, his knife clanging over the sidewalk and into the gutter.
Fatty tries to get up again, but I land a devastating blow to his ear. Stocky is still dazed, clutching the light pole, from a single headbutt. Fatty spits curses at me as I run away toward my apartment.
I cut across the empty parking lot on Hope and 9th, then I dash across the street to my building on 9th Street. Blasting through the swinging glass doors, I head straight for the elevators on the right. Then I pass right by them. Once I enter the door leading to the fire escape stairwell, I can breathe. But I still have four flights of stairs before I make it to my third floor apartment.
I burst through the door onto the third floor, my hand on my knife holster, fully expecting someone to already be here waiting for me. But there’s no one here. I race down the drab gray corridor and stop in front of apartment 312. I get my key in the lock and my body inside the apartment in less than five seconds.
Darkness.
Sigh.
I’m home.
Then my mother’s voice echoes in my mind again, warning me. The monsters we can’t see are the scariest ones of all.
I’ve always hated my mother’s voice. Even when I’m only hearing it in my mind. Even when it’s giving me sound advice. I hate it. So high-pitched, so clear and crisp it sounds computer-generated. It’s no wonder my father is completely insane.
I’ll let you decide whether the same description can be applied to me.
I don’t need to turn the light on to find my way into the kitchen. I live in the darkness. My eyes can adjust to darkness in less than two seconds.
My father put my body through every physical test he went through when training with the army and a few he made up himself, like the night vision test. This involved shining a bright light in my eyes then turning off the lights right before he would attack me. But the night vision test was unnecessary because my left eye has an extraordinary ability to adjust to darkness.
And I live in the darkness.
Unfortunately, judging by the painful throbbing in my side and the tickling sensation of something damp running down my skin, I’m pretty sure Shorty stabbed me. I’ll have to turn on the lights to get a good look at it.
I press the button on the range hood to turn on the light above the stove. There are four bulbs in the hood, but I took out three. I only need one. Lifting my damp black hoodie, I see my white camisole is soaked in blood from just beneath my breast and down all the way to my waist.
The hole in my camisole is right over the fleshy part of my side, though I’m pretty lean so there’s not much flesh to spare there. I lift the camisole and find the stab wound is about one and a half inches long. It’s not spurting blood, but it’s gushing pretty steadily.
Fuck.
I turn around to face the kitchen counter behind me and pick up the old-fashioned telephone with the curly cord. Other than my laptop, which I rarely use, I don’t do technology. I don’t like anything that transmits a signal. Maybe that makes me a paranoid kook, but the bottom line is that I want to be able to disappear without a trace at a moment’s notice. Cell phones, tablets, credit cards, all that crap is what gets you caught.
Case in point: Shorty. I may very well have killed him tonight. It doesn’t matter that it was self-defense. I don’t want the possibility of a manslaughter trial in my future. If he’s dead, his friends saw me kill him. There’s a good possibility they’ll find me. I could be arrested at any moment.
I dial the phone number for the gas station and Aasif picks up on the first ring. “Hello?”
He sounds stressed. I hope the guy in the hoodie didn’t drop the Mercedes guy’s dead body in the gas station parking lot. Aasif would not like that. He hates dealing with the police.
“Aasif, it’s Alex. I can’t make it into work today. I’m not feeling well.”
“What’s wrong? Are you dying or something?”
I force a small chuckle. “No, just a really bad stomach ache. I’m going to try to rest and see if it will go away. If not, I’ll definitely have to see a doctor in the morning.”
“For a stomach ache?”
“A really bad stomach ache.”
“This is a really bad night for you to call in sick, Alex. I have police crawling all over here, treating me like a fucking terrorist.”
“Just stay calm, Aasif. Don’t give them a reason to Rodney King you.”
“Fucking racist pigs,” he mutters under his breath.
“Why are the cops there? What happened?” I ask, hoping I sound at least somewhat surprised and concerned.
“Some psycho dumped a dead body next to pump number four.”
I let out a soft gasp. “Oh, my God. That’s horrible. Are you okay?”
He chuckles. “You don’t have to pretend to care, Alex. This is me… And, yeah, I’m fine. Just dying to get these potato salad eating, donut fuckers out of here.”
I grunt at the burning pain that lights up my knife wound as I attempt to hold in my laughter. “Aasif, I’ll call you tomorrow to tell you if I’m better.”
“Yeah, okay, see you tomorrow.”
He hangs up and I immediately grab a spoon out of the drawer on the left. Then I turn up the flame on the stove. I pull the sleeve of my hoodie over my right hand, using it like a pot holder to protect my skin as I hold the spoon directly on the flame. When the spoon begins to glow, I pull it off the
flame and immediately press it against the knife wound.
I try to hold it in, but a wretched moan escapes my lips. Oh, God. Please let the wound be sealed.
I pull the spoon away, taking some of my skin with it, and the blood is still trickling. Not gushing. But trickling is still too much.
A few tears roll down my face as I realize I have to get another spoon and do it again.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
At the sound of the knocking on my door, my hand flies up to turn off the stove light. I pull my shirt and hoodie down over the knife wound and slip my custom Ontario 498 army knife out of its holster at the back of my waist. Then I wait.
The sensation of the blood trickling down my skin is now more distracting than the pain in the wound or the burn. I’m used to pain.
Forty seconds. Forty-one. Forty-two. Forty-three.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
Chapter 2
I stare at the door for a moment, then I force myself to move. My legs feel a little weak as I move toward the door. It’s the loss of blood. If this is one of those guys coming to finish me off, I’m dead. I can’t fight them off like this.
“What do you want?” I shout from where I stand off to the side of the door.
“Ma’am, this is Detective Rousseau, LAPD.”
“I’m sleeping.”
“Ma’am, I need to talk to you about a possible murder you saw on Hope Street. Can you please open up?”
A fucking detective. And he got here pretty fast if he just responded to the scene at the gas station. Aasif must have given him my address.
Unless he’s not a detective at all.
“I didn’t see anything.”
“That’s not what your boss said. We think you might be in danger. Please open up.”
I almost laugh out loud at that one. They think I might be in danger, which is why they sent just one detective to protect me. This guy is a bad liar.
“Come back tomorrow.” When I’ll be long gone.
“Ma’am, this is quite urgent. If you don’t open up, I’ll be forced to secure a warrant to search your home. I don’t want to do that. I know you didn’t have anything to do with this crime or the other crime scene on Hope and 7th.”
What the fuck? Now he’s threatening to pinch me?
I glance at the window on the other side of the living room, covered in thick black-out curtains. I can’t jump from three stories up. Maybe I can climb down the side of the building with my bare hands if there are no other cops or detectives out there. But I’m already weak from the loss of blood. If I lose my grip…
“My electricity got cut off. It’s very dark in here.”
“That’s okay. I have a flashlight.”
Of course you do.
“Just a minute.”
I grit my teeth against the pain as I walk into the tiny utility closet where the stackable washer and dryer, a tankless water heater, and the electrical panel are kept. I flip the main switch on the electrical panel, cutting off all electricity to the entire apartment.
I shut the door to the utility closet and head to the door. Looking through the peephole, I’m not surprised to see a person in a black hoodie and dark jeans. His face is cloaked in shadow as he stares at the doorknob, waiting for me to answer.
Detective Rousseau. I didn’t know detectives were in the business of killing witnesses these days.
I plant my feet firmly as I stand to the side of the door. Then I tighten my grip around the handle of my knife and tuck it behind my back. I’ll pull this door open, and the moment this guy makes a wrong move, he’s dead.
I don’t like using my knife in a fight. My father trained me in Krav Maga, so I know that any weapon I carry can be used against my opponent and me.
Disarm. Disable. Disengage. Those are the three steps my father taught me.
First, you disarm your opponent. Then, you disable them. That could mean anything from stunning them, knocking them out, or killing them. Finally, you disengage. You get the fuck out of there.
I turn the doorknob slowly, then I quickly swing the door inward while maintaining my cover behind the wall. The white beam of the flashlight pierces through the darkness, mostly diffused except for the small circle of light on the black armchair against the wall.
“Turn off the flashlight.”
“Pardon me?”
He attempts to step inside, but I jut my foot out to stop him. “Detective?”
There’s a long pause. He knows I know he’s full of shit.
A soft click and the beam of light recedes into the dimly lit corridor. “Better?”
His voice sounds different with the door open. There’s a slight accent, but I can’t tell if it’s European or Canadian French. It doesn’t matter. He’s in my territory now. If he survives this meeting, he’ll be luck to have a voice left to speak.
“Much better. Come in, Detective.”
I keep my head bowed low so he can’t see my face, but he moves slowly. He’s trying not to provoke me. We’ll see how long that lasts.
“I’m going to come in very slowly,” he assures me when his right foot is completely inside. “No need to be alarmed.”
I’ll decide when it’s time to be alarmed.
His body moves forward slowly and I finally glimpse the top half of him. He’s holding both his hands up on either side of his face. One hand still clutching his flashlight; a very deadly weapon in trained hands. His hood is still pulled up, and from this side angle, with his hands up, I still can’t see his face.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
I step to the right, farther away from the doorway. “Close the door,” I order him.
He takes another step forward so now I can only see his back. Then he uses his foot to push the door closed. Total darkness.
“Keep your hands in the air and tell me who you really are.”
The silence that follows my command is complete. He knows I’ll be able to hear every move he makes in here. And he’s right.
Since I was pulled out of public school at the age of six, my parents kept me locked away like a princess in a tower. Afraid others would judge me the way the children and school staff had. They wanted to protect me. Or so they claimed.
My father trained me in the basement of our craftsman style 1920s house in L.A. Houses like that are rare in Southern California. They’re worth a lot of money now, and my parents have sure mortgaged the shit out of that house. Hence, the reason I no longer live with them. They wanted me to start working for my dad’s agency without getting paid. Of course, I’d still have to live in their dank basement. Then there’s the whole thing with my mom being crazy and manipulative.
I hold my breath as I stare at Detective Rousseau’s silhouette through the darkness. I don’t think he’s breathing. I wait another moment, thinking that if he doesn’t speak or move soon, I’m going to stab him in the jugular. Then I hear a soft intake of breath.
“I just need to know what you saw, so I can record your statement in my report.”
He’s still going to pretend to be a detective. Fine. I can play that game.
“I didn’t see anything. So if that’s the only reason you’re here, I suggest you leave.”
He sniffs the air softly as he turns around to face me. “Are you okay, Miss…?”
“I’m fine.”
“I smell burned flesh.”
“You know the scent of burned flesh?”
“In my line of work, I’ve come to know the scents of many things.” He takes a step toward me. “Some pleasant and some not so pleasant.”
I hold my ground. “Your line of work? They allow you to dress like that in your line of work?”
“I’m a detective. I don’t wear a costume like those other clowns.”
He’s no more than five feet away from me now, his hands still up in the air and his flashlight in hand. His black hoodie is still pulled up over his head. Combined with his black pants, he does a good job of blending into the darkness. Still,
I have two advantages here. My left eye and the fact that I know I have an advantage in the dark. Knowing you have an advantage is half the battle, because nothing is stronger than confidence.
If I wanted to, I could close that five-foot gap between us, reach forward, and tear out his esophagus in one second flat. If I were operating at full power, but I’m not. And he can smell it.
He can smell my burned flesh. He can smell my weakness from five feet away, and he wants me to know. But why? Why not just pounce on me and finish me off? Why not just pull out that fucking .44 and blast me between the eyes?
Because he wants something. Everyone wants something. Whatever this guy wants, he needs me alive to get it.
“You refer to your fellow officers as clowns?” I reply, trying to color my voice with some mock disgust.
He chuckles and the sound sends a chill through me. “I’m not an officer. I’m a detective. I had to use my brain to get to this position, just like I had to use my brain to get your boss to tell me where you live.”
I want to shout, “You killed that man!” but that would be very stupid of me. Instead, I maintain my composure as he takes another step toward me, closing the distance between us to no more than three feet.
“Are you going to tell me what you saw? Or should I come back tomorrow after you’ve had some rest?”
He’s giving me an out. Why?
“You killed that man.” I speak these words calmly, almost conversationally.
Through the darkness, I can see and feel his muscles tense. “That man was following you.”
He’s not even going to deny it. I don’t know if I should be more frightened or impressed.
“No, he wasn’t,” I reply.
“Yes, he was. He is—was a known sexual predator. I’ve been following his case and waiting for him to strike. You were going to be his next victim.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well, he’s been watching you for a few days, and he certainly didn’t appreciate me trailing you tonight, which is why he pulled up next to me and attempted to shoot me. I shot him first.”
