I was surprised to hear that she had opened up to them about her apprehensions of a new school. It was only natural and I wasn’t surprised to hear it, just surprised she’d talk to them about it.
Mary handed me a baggie of warm chocolate chip cookies. “Take some for the road. Afterall, she worked hard to help make them.”
“Thanks, Mrs. Westin.”
“Around here it’s simply Mary, sweetheart.”
Macie looked up to me for permission and I nodded, not wanting to disrespect the former Pack Mother.
“Or you could just call her grandma like the rest of us,” Zander told her.
“Thanks for letting her assist.”
“She is welcome back in my kitchen anytime.”
Macie hugged her around the waist. “See you later, I hope. Bye Oscar. Bye Zander.”
I said my goodbyes as we made our exit. Kyle jumped into the Jeep with us, leaving me to squeeze into the backseat with Macie. It was roomier than I expected.
We drove only a short distance away before turning onto another street.
“Maddie and my brother Liam live down that road,” Kyle pointed out as we drove. “And Shelby and Ben live over there. Kelsey and I live at the end of this road,” he added pointing to the left. “And just up here on the right is the one I was telling you about. Turn here.”
A small rancher came into view as soon as we turned. It was a pale yellow trimmed in bright white with a blue front door.
“Look Mom. It’s your favorite colors.”
She was right. I had always loved yellow and blue together. They were my happy colors. I doubted even Baine knew that. It felt like a simple sign that everything was going to be okay.
Baine
Chapter 25
Olivia and Macie both loved the house and within a few days we were fully moved in. Fortunately, the place was already furnished too. We delayed Macie starting school for a week as we all settled in and learned to be a family. It was a lot harder than I’d expected.
I’d been on my own for a long time. I liked my space. I liked my quiet. I loved Olivia and Macie, but living with them was proving harder than I expected. The only time I ever seemed to have time to myself was the twenty-minute commute from the house to the Lodge.
I had never considered myself a loner. I didn’t think I particularly liked being alone. I was wrong. Coming home after a long day at work or training and having dinner ready and then family time, and then by the time we put Macie to bed then it was alone time with Olivia. Even though that was by far my favorite part of the day, it was exhausting.
Four days of this routine and I was about to go mad.
After work, instead of heading straight home, I swung by the tattoo shop.
“Didn’t expect to see you anytime soon,” Cole teased as he was walking out his last customer of the day.
I sat down on the couch and covered my face with my hands as I groaned.
“Mated life not everything you thought it was?”
“Being a mate. Being a father. All of it. I don’t know if I’m cut out for this stuff, Cole. I love them, but it’s exhausting. Macie starts school in a few days and then we’ll be adding on parent teacher conferences and events of all sorts. I didn’t even care about that shit when I was in school. And nothing in my life is good enough for them. Do you know I had to call in late this morning so I could take Olivia down the mountain to buy a freaking mini-van.”
His jaw dropped. “Tell me you didn’t trade the Jeep for that?”
“No way. I still need a vehicle to get to work and back. Oh, she argued it though. A safer alternative would be a better option should I need to pick Macie up. I held my ground. I just couldn’t concede to drive a damn mini-van even if it does have the safest crash test rating on the market.”
“Wow, she’s going to whip you into shape fast.”
“I don’t want to be whipped. I tolerate the flowers and throw pillows littering the house. I don’t even complain about her ridiculous amount of beauty products in the bathroom. I’m trying, but I just need a break.”
“Did you call and let her know you weren’t coming straight home?”
“No. She’ll think I’m working late.”
His face scrunched up and I could tell there was something he wanted to say but wouldn’t.
“What?” I asked.
“Just trust me on this and go home, Baine. Straight home.”
“Nah, I think I’m going to grab a beer first. Apparently, she doesn’t like having that in the house with Macie.”
He gasped. “She took your beer?”
“Yup. What am I going to do? I’ve dreamed of a life with this girl for as long as I can remember. But…”
“But the reality doesn’t live up to the dream.”
“Yes.”.
He sighed. “Has your bond already begun to strengthen?”
“Of course it has. She owned my heart before my bear even surfaced.”
“Then trust me on this. Go home. Seal your bond already and find the good things in life. You have a bad habit of seeking out the negatives.”
“I do not.”
“Yeah, you do.”
I growled in frustration. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Talk to your mate, man. And trust me on this, get your ass home right now.”
I nodded and got up to leave. Outside I stopped and looked over at the Crate. Just one beer, I thought. A picture of Olivia flashed into my mind. I knew she would be disappointed in me if I did that and I was so tired of being a disappointment to her.
I climbed into my Jeep and drove home.
The house was dark when I got there and it set my bear on edge. I ran up to the house sweeping the room for anything out of the ordinary before moving to the next room. My hand went to my hip ready to draw my gun at any second. The living room lights were off, but there was a flickering of light coming from the dining room.
I sighed and tried to relax. “Did the power go out or something?” I called out.
“Something like that,” Olivia responded.
I walked into the dining room and froze. Dinner was on the table and candles were flickering, but the thing I homed in on the most was the fact that my mate was gloriously naked. I looked around.
“She’s having a sleepover with Shelby and the triplets tonight.”
Worry set in. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“No, but I think it’s a necessary one.”
“What’s going on, Olivia?”
“Sit down, Baine. We need to talk.”
My heart dropped into my stomach and I started to panic. “You’re leaving me, aren’t you?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes.
I took a deep breath. My body was shaking and my bear was roaring in my head. Everyone I loved left or pushed me away eventually. I wasn’t enough. Killian had known it from the start. They had been right to push me away from her.
“Stop it.”
I stared at her.
“Baine Landry, I know you better than I know anyone. You’ve always been hardest on yourself, judging yourself, convinced you can’t meet anyone else’s standards so why even try.”
I gulped, feeling far too vulnerable. “This week hasn’t been perfect, but we’re trying. There’s a reason I asked for a trial. Being a parent is hard work. I’ve had seven years and I still screw it up every single day.”
“I’m trying, O.”
She smiled. “You’re doing great.” She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “Macie and I aren’t going anywhere. For better or worse, we’re here. Being the only bears in a pack of wolves isn’t going to be easy, but it’s so much better than I imagined it would be. We’re going to be okay, but I feel like you’re freaking out.”
“Maybe because I am. I don’t know if I can do this, O.”
She smiled and relaxed. “I know, but I also know you absolutely can. Routines are important for Macie. She does better with them. That’s a trial
and error thing I learned early on. I may have been working a little too hard to find a new normal for us here these last few days. I can feel when you start to pull away. Even when you’re here, you’re not really here.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. I know you and I know how you are. You thrive on skirting the rules, not following them.”
I snorted. She was right.
“I’m sorry I freaked out about the Jeep. I did some research on that roll cage you have installed and you were right. I should have trusted you on that. I promise I won’t mention selling it again.”
“Thank you.”
“But I also know this isn’t really about the Jeep, is it?”
I closed my eyes and thought about all the things I wanted to tell her and how to go about it without hurting her feelings.
“You know I love you. I’ve always loved you. Always will. I love that smartass little motormouth too. I can’t imagine my life without the two of you.”
“But…”
I took a deep breath. “But, I feel like I’m drowning already and it’s only been a few days.”
“We’re in a bit of shock with it all too, you know.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. I thought I was ready, but once we got here, I wasn’t exactly accepting of this place. I’ll admit, these Westin women make it super hard not to feel welcome though.”
I laughed. I knew she had freaked out when I explained about Kelsey. I also knew that she would grow to love the Pack Mother quickly.
Olivia rolled her eyes. “We haven’t had even a second of truly being alone since we got on that plane. You’ve been keeping things extremely PG at night and I was wondering why until I spoke with Resa.”
“Resa?”
“Yeah. She moved into the house. Needed to get away from Felix and I like knowing someone’s looking after the place. She found the dampener. You left it in my bedroom.”
I nodded.
Olivia reached down and took something out of a box on the floor next to her. She held up the dampener and I laughed.
“Had her overnight it. No more kid friendly afterhours, deal?”
“God yes!”
I wanted to throw her on the table and ravish her right there knowing Macie wasn’t home.
She held a hand up sensing the shift in my mood. “Baine, I need to be able to count on you to be here, not just your physical presence, but truly here and present.”
“I stopped by to see Cole on the way home. I was going to grab a couple of beers and check out for a bit. I’ve never particularly enjoyed being alone, but I’m also learning that I don’t particularly enjoy never having some alone time either.”
I expected her to be angry, but she just nodded. “We can work with that.”
“But I do want to be here. I don’t want to be an absent father the way mine was.”
“Baine, it doesn’t have to be one way or the other. Parenting is hard and you’re diving right in. Balancing that responsibility takes time. We’re going to stumble through it. We’ll probably fall more than once, but if we do this together, we can’t fail her. There’s nothing selfish about wanting a break or some time to yourself. There are times when I’m going to need that too.”
“You will?”
“Yes. I’m not perfect no matter how delusional you are to think it.”
“Blasphemy,” I whispered as I leaned in and kissed her.
“Stay on track and focus.”
“You’re naked. Trust me I’m focused.”
She laughed. “We haven’t finished talking.”
“We have the house to ourselves. I don’t want to talk.”
“We haven’t even eaten yet.”
My eyes darkened. “I’m definitely ready to eat.”
Olivia squealed when I lifted her from the chair and carried her back to the bedroom.
I plopped her down on the bed unceremoniously and quickly stripped out of my own clothes. She giggled when I started at her toes and kissed my way up her legs. She stopped me before I reached the apex though.
I frowned as I looked up into her eyes.
“Promise me when self-doubt trickles in from now on that you’ll talk to me.”
I hated that she knew me so well. It made me humble and I wasn’t a humble person by nature.
I sighed, feeling the change between us as she struck the chord that had been gnawing at me all day.
She cradled my face in her hands. “I know I can get a little particular when it comes to Macie and her safety. I can’t help it, that’s the mama bear in me. But you, Baine, you are the best man I know and so worthy of love. I need you to understand that Macie and I aren’t going anywhere. We’re here to stay. We may drive each other crazy at times, but I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
Somehow Olivia seemed to know exactly what I needed, and my chest hurt, feeling like my heart would explode. I crawled up the bed to lay beside her. My hand fisted in her hair at the nape of her neck and I tugged lightly to ensure she looked up at me.
“Tell me I’m yours,” I growled. “Say it Olivia. I need to hear it.”
“I’ve always been yours.”
My breathing was heavy and I roared as my powerful jaws bit down on her collarbone. She screamed out my name and bit me back marking me as hers forever.
I didn’t know what to expect when this moment came. It wasn’t something dudes talked about in the locker room. The moment was too sacred to belittle in that way.
I was instantly consumed by a wholeness I’d never known. I had always been aware of Olivia, but this was on a whole new level. I could suddenly feel her, as if she were in my skin too. When she moved, I moved. We were in perfect synch. When her desire flared, it only enhanced mine until I had to take her, claim her in every way possible.
I couldn’t hear her, but I could feel her. I knew every move, every spot that pleased her. It was as easy as breathing.
She was close to the edge when she finally let go of her clasp on my neck to throw her head back and moan loudly. I thought the spell would be broken, but it remained. I eased back on my clamp on her and lightly kissed my mark that would adorn her body the rest of her life.
“Mine,” I said, kissing the spot. “Mine,” I growled again licking a droplet of blood. “Mine,” I growled as she cried out and began to wither in my arms. “Mine,” I said again as I picked up speed seeking my own release. “Mine.” I roared as I collapsed onto her panting heavily.
She turned my face to hers and claimed my lips, pulling back with a momentary smile. “Mine.”
*****
I had to be up early the next morning for a five-mile run with the team. I showed up already sweaty from the wakeup call my mate had started our day with.
I knew I would continue to struggle and have my doubts but claiming Olivia had momentarily put me and my bear at ease. She encouraged me to find that balance in life. With the assurance they were staying, I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I could do this.
I was the first one onsite for the day, something that never happened. When the others walked in Tarron looked at me and grinned.
“Pay up boys.” He held out his hand while the others groaned. “I told you he was at his breaking point yesterday.”
I laughed. “Shut up, you idiot. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Seen it enough times now to recognize the signs.”
“You could have at least kept your shirt on and let him sweat it out a bit,” Grant grumbled.
I shrugged. “Better than any tattoo I’ve ever gotten.”
“I’m happy for you, man. Macie was great with the kids last night. Happy to take her when you need some alone time with your new mate. It’s crazy enough when it’s just the two of us. We had kids thrown our way early in our mating, so I get it. Not quite the same, but still.”
I shook his hand. “Thanks man.”
“What are you pansies sitting around gossiping about?
Get a move on it,” Silas barked.
I smirked. “Don’t be jealous big man. Your true mate is out there somewhere.”
A dark look passed over him, but I ignored it. No one was going to harsh my buzz today.
*****
On my drive home I swung into Cole’s shop again.
“Dude, are you serious? Go home. I really thought you would have had the sense to sort things out properly last night.”
“How’d you know about that?”
“It was Elizabeth’s idea. She talked to Shelby who convinced Olivia.”
“Oh.”
Elizabeth walked out of Cole’s room still adjusting her skirt.
“Jesus, again? Are you two wolf shifters or rabbits?”
“You’re welcome,” she told me before turning to Cole. She rose up on her toes and kissed her mate. “You’re welcome, too. See you at home.”
I laughed at her audacity.
“Asshole,” she mumbled as she passed me.
“Love you, too, Elizabeth. Thanks for your meddling.”
Cole snorted. “You really are an asshole.”
I shrugged. “She loves me.”
“What are you doing here?”
“You free?”
“Yeah, sure, but did you tell Olivia you’re going out this time?”
“No, and this shouldn’t take long. It’s a quick job.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted to go for beers.”
“No time for that tonight. I hear there’s a ladies’ night coming up though, so we could plan something then.”
“Look at you, being all domesticated.”
“Shut up.”
I followed him back to the chair but stopped when I looked at it.
“Clean that shit first.”
He laughed abashedly. “I’m getting there. What are we adding today?”
I pulled out the piece of paper from my pocket to show him.
“You sure about this?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay, let’s do it.”
It took him longer than I expected. A little over an hour later my triceps was wrapped in gauze as I walked into the house. Olivia scowled at me.
“Sorry I’m late. I had an errand to run on the way home.”
Collision Course Page 19
