by Susan Meier
She inched back and ruined their dance step.
“Relax.”
“Easy for you to say. You’ve been to a trillion of these things.”
“You came every year with Clark.”
But she’d never felt these weird longings and curiosities with Clark. Of course, she’d always known Clark loved her. Maybe part of the yearning that coursed through her was simply an acknowledgment that Seth was unattainable?
Because she’d pushed him away.
“Clark and I did come to this ball every year.”
“Do you miss him?”
For that she lifted her eyes until she caught Seth’s gaze. “Not in the way that I did a few months ago.”
She wasn’t sure if it was her imagination, but she swore Seth’s grip tightened on her waist.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. In the past few weeks, I’ve come to terms with the idea of moving on.”
His head tilted. “Really?”
“Hey, I’m buying a condo, getting a job. I let go of the house that was our home. I’ve been alone for twelve long months. I was pregnant alone. Had a baby alone.” She stopped, realizing she was about to tell him she was lonely. She hadn’t been. The first two weeks she and Seth had lived together had been fun. So much fun.
“That must have been hard.”
“It’s amazing what you can do when you have no choice.”
“Weren’t your parents around?”
She shrugged. “They called a few times. Came to visit a lot in the beginning to make sure I was okay.”
“They love you.”
“In their own way.”
“And your mom’s not so bad.” He shook his head. “Look, I know firsthand how difficult family can be, but I think you should give your mom a second chance.”
She ignored his suggestion, mostly because it made sense and it shouldn’t.
“Do you regret going to work for your family?”
“No. This is my responsibility. I accept it.”
She frowned. “Then what are you doing that you have no choice about?”
He caught her gaze, looked like he might say something, but stopped.
But he didn’t have to say it. He wanted away from her enough to give her his condo and almost let her choose his next home. “You’re unhappy that you took me and Crystal in, aren’t you?”
“No.”
The word was a wisp. As soft as a cloud but as strong as good whiskey. She thought for a moment that he was too kind to let her believe she was a burden. But his eyes held hers, serious, sincere.
He regretted that they couldn’t have something together.
* * *
At the end of the song, Seth walked Harper back to their table, sorry that he’d brought up Clark. Not because it filled her with sadness, but because it hadn’t. And that conjured all kinds of notions in his head.
She finally seemed happy to be moving on. Of course, he knew no one wanted to be stuck in grief for the rest of their lives. Getting out of that emotional quagmire might have been what she was happy about...
But whatever the reason, she was moving on.
They went back to the table and she got hoodwinked into working the crowd with Sabrina. His sister was always on the hunt for mentors for the budding entrepreneurs in her program. But she’d reminded Harper that she could use all the contacts she could to help with her job search.
He watched them move through the crowd. Sabrina in her simple white gown, charming the rich and generous. Harper was shy at first, then she gained her confidence and worked the room in a different way. She might be softer than Sabrina, but she was no less determined to get a job.
To move on.
She was more than ready.
When they returned to the table, Seth asked Harper to dance again and though it took three songs, the band finally played something slow and romantic. This time when he took her into his arms, he felt her tense then relax. Every few steps, he’d bring her an inch or so closer until she was almost pressed up against him.
That’s when he stopped. She hadn’t protested. But his conscience reminded him that she was a kind, wonderful woman with a child. A widow. And he was a womanizer. No matter what anyone said about the right person changing a man’s life, Seth knew his reasons for staying single, staying unattached, were deeper and more important than those of the usual playboy.
It might soothe his ego to think Harper liked him but, in the end, he would hurt her.
He moved away from her when the song ended. “Shall we go back to the table?”
“Yes.”
Her voice sounded a little shaky. Which didn’t surprise him because being near her had him a bit trembly, too. To get them both past their discomfort, he said, “I saw you having fun with Sabrina.”
She turned to him with a laugh. “Fun? The woman’s a dynamo! I got the cards of three more executives who are considering adding another assistant to their staffs. I’m going to be employed before the month is out.”
“That’s good.”
“It’s fantastic.” She took a long breath. “You know, the part about losing Clark was devastating. But I never realized how much I had missed when I decided not to work after we were married. Makes me wonder what else I missed.”
She started walking toward their table again, but her comment had stopped Seth dead in his tracks. What else she’d missed?
He could guess a hundred things she’d probably missed, most of them involving his king-size bed. And, oh, Lord. What he wouldn’t give to be the guy who showed her.
He headed back to the table chastising himself.
But watching her laugh with his sister, he remembered what she had said about losing her friends. She also didn’t have a sister. He saw a different side of her as she laughed with Sabrina. A girlie side. The side she probably didn’t have time for because of the baby and, soon, work.
When they got in his car to go home and the wind tousled her hair, sending her laughter to him on a wave of cool air, the conclusion he drew didn’t surprise him.
This was a woman who was changing. She’d gone from devoted wife to single mom and would soon be an employee. And she wasn’t sad about it. She’d finally found the fun in it.
What if she was done with the white-picket-fence dreams? Or what if she’d put them on hold until she’d experimented a little?
What if this was his one small chance, his one tiny opening, to have the woman he’d always wanted. Not forever. Not for always. But for a season of time as she experienced life?
If he let her go, found a new house, moved out and never saw her again, would he be depriving them both of an opportunity fate seemed to have handed them on a silver platter?
Or was he crazy to be thinking like this? Thinking she wanted him? Thinking they could have something to remember forever before they both moved on?
He parked the car and they rode up in the elevator in silence. He unlocked the condo door and motioned for her to enter before him. Mrs. P. mumbled a quick report on the baby and an even quicker goodbye before she shuffled out the door.
And then they were alone. She headed toward her room, but he caught up to her at the kitchen island, grabbed her hand and turned her to face him.
Her pretty pink skirt ruffled as she pivoted. Her eyes jumped to his.
He saw the surprise, but he also saw the curiosity before she could hide it. He thought of the kiss all those weeks ago in front of the limo, thought of her eager response, and kissed her again, before he could talk himself out of it.
CHAPTER TEN
THE KISS STARTED off slow and smooth but quickly went deep. Not a sweet, thanks-for-the-nice-evening kiss, but a prelude to making love. The kiss of a man who wanted a woman.
Excitement, fear and wonder coursed through Harper. His hands slid al
ong the bare skin of her back, along the curve of her waist, and raced back up again as his mouth worked its magic. She pressed her fingers to his chest, wanting to slide them to his shoulders, but they paused, savored. Everything was so much more intense than it had been with Clark. She wondered if that was because they had been so young when they married, or if Seth was simply a different kind of man.
Just when she might have made a move to slide her hands beneath the sleek material of his tux jacket, he pulled away.
Her gaze leaped to his.
“We’ve already said you and I aren’t a good mix.”
His strong, sure voice made the statement with a confidence that confused her after the way he’d just kissed her.
“We want different things. But I sense things have changed since Paris. You’ve adjusted to the fact that you’re starting a new phase of your life, and I think you might want to try some things you could have missed because you were so young when you got involved with Clark. I’m not the guy you settle down with, but I am the guy you could find yourself with.” His eyes searched hers. “Think about that. No rush on the answer.”
With that he turned and walked down the hall. She didn’t move a muscle. She wasn’t even sure she breathed until he opened the door and walked into his bedroom.
Then her breath poured out in a long, almost painful rush that drained her of oxygen and left her even more light-headed than his offer had.
And it was an offer. No-strings-attached sex. A chance to find herself.
After a year of loneliness, she’d been thrust into the eye of a storm of getting on her feet financially, finding a job and a home for herself and her baby, and now he was giving her a chance to find herself as a woman.
She understood what he meant. She was different than she’d been when she’d arrived on his doorstep. But it was the scariest proposition anyone had ever made to her. Not because she wasn’t sure what it entailed, but because it tempted her in ways she’d never been tempted.
For that reason alone, she knew he was right. She did long to find herself, figure out who she was. But with him?
That was the variable. She absolutely knew she’d be someone different with him.
Was that why Seth was so tempting?
She walked back to her room, her gown swishing around her, the diamond earrings his mother had lent her swaying back and forth. She tried not to think of him, what he wanted, what he thought she should want.
She stepped into her bedroom. A pale night-light illuminated the crib. Her baby. Her sleeping little girl.
She took off the earrings and laid them in the box Maureen had brought them in, then slid out of the fancy dress and tossed it across the room.
How could one little choice be so confusing?
* * *
Seth awoke feeling lazy and rested, then he remembered what he’d said to Harper the night before, remembered kissing her hungrily, remembered her greedy response...and that he’d propositioned her.
He pulled the covers over his head, then yanked them off again with a thump.
He’d never been ashamed of wanting a woman before. And she wanted him, too. She simply hadn’t come to terms with it yet. But with time to think about it, maybe she’d changed her mind?
And if she hadn’t, maybe he could help her with that?
He slid out of bed, found a pair of jeans and a T-shirt to slip into and headed out to the kitchen, his expectations teetering on the brink of believing she’d greet him with a smile, maybe a kiss—
When he got to the kitchen, she was feeding the baby.
Now what? He knew a kiss could get them over their morning-after awkwardness. And even with her sitting, he could walk up behind her, slide his arms around her and kiss the back of her neck, not giving her a chance to think about him or propositions or anything but the fact that they were attracted to each other.
Or he could just say “Good morning,” and let her dictate what happened next?
She took the options out of his hands when she said, “Good morning,” as he approached the kitchen island.
“Good morning.”
Okay. That worked. But walking up behind her and kissing her neck was still a good follow-up.
She rose from the chair, set the empty baby bottle in the sink and wouldn’t look at him as she turned toward the island again.
Suddenly, the neck kiss seemed highly inappropriate. Still, he could walk up to her, slide his hands along her arms and kiss her...
She was holding the baby. Nestling her against her chest.
Confusion confounded him. How did couples with babies kiss?
In their beds probably.
And he had yet to get her in his.
She wouldn’t meet his gaze again and he knew he’d missed his chance to kiss her. He couldn’t believe he was losing his suaveness.
He would get this. He was the king of smooth. He’d just have to switch strategies a bit.
She slipped past him. “I was thinking of visiting my parents today.”
“Visiting your parents?”
She wouldn’t look at him. “They don’t see Crystal often.”
He knew that. He just didn’t realize she’d rather visit her mother than hang out with him.
“Today’s supposed to be nice.”
She’d rather visit her mother than hang out with him? “It is.”
She motioned down the hall. “I’ll just get us ready and be on our way.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
He watched he walk to her bedroom, so desperate to get away from him that she was on her way to her parents’ house.
At first, he wanted to kick himself for what he’d said to her the night before, then he realized a woman who didn’t want anything to do with him would just tell him that. Quickly, like removing a bandage, she’d say “Forget it.” But she couldn’t tell him that because it would be a lie. So she was running.
His confidence returned. There might be a little thinking involved but he’d figure out how to woo her.
* * *
Having called for an Uber ride, Harper waited outside the building entry, talking with Hal, the Sunday doorman, who stood beside her holding Crystal’s car seat. Close to seventy, he kept up a steady stream of light conversation, effectively keeping her mind off Seth until the car arrived.
He hurried over, opened the door and installed the car seat.
“Thanks, Hal.” She was about to rummage in her purse for a tip, but he stopped her.
“It was just a car seat. And you’re one of my favorite people.” He smiled at Crystal. “Your baby is another.”
His kindness released some of her tension. But not all of it. How did a woman say no to a man she really wanted? A man who’d looked like he wanted to kiss her that morning?
She had to stiffen to repress a shiver. She’d never experienced these emotions with Clark and though that made her feel a bit odd, it also revived her curiosity. Why were things always so intense with Seth?
No. “Things” weren’t intense. They got along nicely until their attraction slithered into the room. Then her breathing changed. His eyes focused on her as if she were the only woman in the world. And the air disappeared from the room.
The driver began to chitchat and she had to reply. The light conversation eased Seth out of her brain and by the time she got into the elevator to her parents’ enormous condo, she felt lighter.
No. Carrying her baby down the short hall to her mother’s place, she felt like a single mom. Not a woman in a beautiful gown, wearing borrowed diamond earrings, being seduced by a man. Not a woman who wanted to throw caution to the wind, if only to satisfy her blazing curiosity. But herself. A woman with a baby who had to find a job, and who also needed a house. A woman with priorities that didn’t include an affair.
A woman about
to visit her parents with the baby they seldom saw because she was afraid they’d bring up all the wrong subjects.
She took a breath. Fortified herself.
She rang the bell and the maid answered, but her mom peeked out from behind the corner.
“The doorman said it was you.” She smiled broadly and reached to take Crystal, as the maid took the car seat and tucked it in a convenient closet.
Glancing at her mom’s taupe sheath, a nod to the fact that it was October, though fall temperatures hadn’t yet arrived, Harper grimaced. “Be careful. I never know when she’s going to throw up or pee.”
Amelia laughed. “Diapers are stronger than they’ve ever been, and you threw up on me plenty.” She headed for the elegant living room decorated in shades of sage, pale yellow and tan. “How are you today, sweet girl?” she asked Crystal as she tickled her tummy.
The baby giggled. Harper’s dad rose from the sage sofa.
“What have we here? A rare Sunday visit?”
Harper kissed her dad’s cheek, then gave the nonthreatening reply that would ease her out of having to give a real answer. “Bored today.”
Her dad said, “Really? That’s a good sign. For the past year, you’ve wanted nothing but to stay home.”
Her mom sat on one of the tan chairs that complemented the sofa. “I agree. It’s so nice to have you visit.”
For the first time in about a decade, Harper relaxed with her parents. “Actually, it feels pretty good to get out of the house.”
“And it’s a lovely day,” Amelia said, motioning to the huge wall of windows that displayed a panoramic view of Manhattan. “Maybe if you stay long enough we can take Crystal for a walk in the park?”
“I didn’t bring her stroller. It was hard enough carrying her, a diaper bag and the car seat.”
Her mother smiled. “Maybe next time.”
Harper’s muscles and bones loosened a little more. She glanced around, realizing that maybe her mother wasn’t the crazy wannabe rich woman that she had been. In fact, she’d actually seen a bit of that change when her mom agreed to back off from dinner with her and Seth. “That’d be great.”
