by Amie Gibbons
He shrugged. “Exactly.”
“If you two hadn’t done all that, we never would’ve met. You wouldn’t have been in the magical community, you wouldn’t have been at the conference last night, and you wouldn’t have been lured to Emily’s hotel room where she killed you.”
He nodded. “There’s a million places where things could have been different. A million decisions that led to this moment. Any one change could have made this a completely different reality. Doesn’t really pay to play what if now.”
“I feel like I can’t function right now,” I said. “I wish I was like AB and could hyper focus when I’m upset. Just get all obsessive and fixate on what will help get things done. But I can’t. I can’t think. I can’t move! Thomas, you’re a therapist. You want to do something? Fix me before the eclipse gets here, cuz I’m useless right now.”
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes.
“Ariana, close your eyes.”
I did.
“Focus inward. Like when we were meditating. Think of whatever Grant taught you that got you to that place.”
I rested my hands on my belly, focusing on my breathing as it slowed.
“Good,” Thomas whispered. “You don’t have to go into real meditation, just focus on your inner world.”
I nodded slightly.
“Who’s there?”
“Huh?” I asked, eyes cracking.
“No,” Thomas said. “Eyes closed. What parts in you are talking right now? Sadness? Fear? Love?”
I ground my teeth together.
“Guilt?” Thomas prodded. “Something else?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Ariana, you need to face what you’re feeling if you want to work through this. I know what it is. I feel it too. You need to name it.”
“I’m angry,” I hissed.
“Yes,” he said.
“I am so mad at Grant,” I said. “This is his fault! He should have trusted me! I could have gotten him out. I’m furious! He should be here right now. He might be lost forever because he was too fucking rigid and too… untrusting or whatever, to let me in. I could’ve saved him. I knew I could save him. And when it came down to it, he wouldn’t let me. Wouldn’t believe me. I’m mad at him. I’m…”
“Betrayed?” Thomas asked when I didn’t continue.
I hiccupped and sniffed. “Yeah. He betrayed me in there by not trusting me, throwing me back. He betrayed me, and I hate him for it.”
I opened my eyes and Thomas was nodding. “And that’s okay. You were blaming yourself for the role you played, but in there, when push came to shove, Grant’s being lost was his fault. And he’s not here for you because of it. You get to be mad at him. He was a coward, without even knowing it. You get to be mad at him.”
I burst into tears, curling into a ball on my side.
“Feel it,” Thomas said softly. “If you allow yourself to feel it, it can’t control you.”
I stayed that way until I felt a hand on my shoulder.
I opened my eyes and rolled over enough to see it was AB.
She rubbed my arm and lay behind me, holding me in a spooning position and wrapping her arm around my belly.
I held onto the thin arm, crying harder.
When I finally sat up, it felt like my head was going to split open.
Thomas sat on the edge of the bed, watching us.
A look on his face I didn’t understand.
“You okay?” I asked AB.
She snorted. “I was about to ask you that. I’m not the one who was crying.”
“That’s why I’m asking,” I said. “Because you’re not crying. So you’re not feeling it. You need to.”
She made a face. “You sound like Thomas.”
My eyes involuntarily flicked to the ghost.
He shrugged and nodded.
“I’ll feel it when they’re all dead,” AB said. “I’ll fall apart then. I’ll be a mess. Maybe suicidal. I don’t know, and right now, I don’t care. I’m going to take them all down. For him.”
Thomas pressed his lips together and looked down.
“Tell her,” Thomas said, then paused, snorting. “I don’t even know what to say. Tell her that’s fine for now, but after all this is over, she needs to feel it. Tell her you know her, and you know she doesn’t like emotions. She’ll shut down, trying not to feel, until she spirals out of control because her emotions don’t like to be ignored, no matter how much she doesn’t like that.”
I nodded, pressing my lips together too. “AB, after this is all over, you are going to have to let yourself, or maybe even make yourself, feel all this. Thomas do… wouldn’t want you to be haunted by this like you were haunted by everything that happened eight years ago. He’d want you to be happy.”
She snorted. “I doubt he’d care either way.”
Thomas threw his hands up. “Of course I care! Why do you think I’m still here! You’re infuriating.”
I snorted as he grabbed his hair.
“What?” AB asked, looking over her shoulder. “Am I missing something?”
“I’m seeing things,” I said. “They’re being dramatic.”
Thomas rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at me, making me giggle.
And AB just looked seriously confused.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“Oh.” AB clapped her hands together. “Carvi found a ghost to go talk to the supernaturals in the areas he couldn’t find anyone in. The ghost found a few, and they called in and we’ve got a conference call with everyone in like…”
She pulled her phone outta her purse and squeaked.
“Now.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me outta the door and didn’t let me go until we were in the other hotel room.
I could’ve gone on my own steam.
Was feeling more alive and like I could do things now that I’d cried some.
But still, having the extra push, or pull as it were, did help.
Carvi was in the living room with six of his security people around, on a fancy corporate quality video phone that was hung on the wall next to the TV by magic as far as I could tell.
“…offensive,” Carvi was saying as we inched by two security guys to get around to see the screen.
The screen was broken into about twenty little boxes with different people in each one, obviously all the different supernatural leaders he’d managed to reach, but nothing to identify who or where anyone was.
“The full eclipse hits here in about ten minutes,” one of the people said. “What do you expect us to do in that time?”
Carvi looked like he wanted to reach through the screen and rip the whiner’s head off.
“You get off your fucking asses and get spells in place. Detect any dimensional rips, get there, and start throwing bombs,” Carvi snapped. “Get on it now.”
“I can’t just-” the guy started.
“Wasn’t talking to you!” Carvi roared. “I was talking to the man behind you, who’s already on the phone and doing something about all this. You have ten minutes? Good. Get on it. We don’t know when the times will line up for this dimension and Fairy, but it will today, and when it does, they will be able to come through. They may have come out over the water already.”
The screens erupted, and I knew exactly how they felt.
That hadn’t even occurred to me.
But the eclipse didn’t start when it hit land. It had to have been going over the ocean for a little bit at least.
“Shut the fuck up,” Carvi snapped.
Most of them did immediately.
And the others followed suit pretty skippy when Carvi glared.
“This thing is going to move quickly. It hits, and we’re going to be running our asses off trying to cover it. The Fae could come in anywhere. That includes bumfuck nowhere towns none of us are in. If the Fae are smart, they won’t be busting out in Idaho Falls, Nashville, or Columbia. They’ll be coming out in some town no one has ever heard of in Wyo
ming, or the middle of the woods in Tennessee.
“I need spells going yesterday on where Fae are coming in, anything to sense dimensional tears, and shit to stop them and make them seriously regret pulling this stunt in the first place. This is a full-on invasion, and we’re not sure how or when they’re going to hit.
“We told the ones we could contact as soon as we got them, but you all know that wasn’t fast enough, and we are out of time. Suck it up and face this, because bitching at me isn’t going to change anything. I put us all on this call so we can stay connected and coordinate and we’re going to keep this up and running, but every one of you need to get your people on this now.”
“And what exactly makes this eclipse so special?” a vampire with a sneering face and a snotty voice asked.
“It lines up on both sides, Dorian,” Carvi said.
My head snapped back.
Dorian.
The new King of Nashville.
The man who’d been a pain in Quil’s ass since he took over for Jade.
I’d been mixing it up with the Nashville vamps for over a year now, and I’d never met the man.
I hated him on sight.
“So they can use it to get through,” Carvi continued. “And since you’re in the territory with the most powerful psychic in the world, you need to get on this. They wanted her for something, and I don’t think they’re done with her.”
“I don’t think your little psychic is all you say she is,” Dorian said in a bored voice. “Or that this supposed war is actually starting. It seems very convenient, don’t you all think?”
“Convenient?” I asked as the people on the other screens chattered. “What do you mean?”
I stepped forward, and Carvi’s people let me through without me asking.
I took my place next to Carvi, crossing my arms and staring the vamp down.
“What better way to mobilize and join people than to give them an outside enemy?” Dorian asked. “Carvi brings us this story, we get ready to fight, and oops, those supposed dimensional portals just don’t happen to open. But then again, they always could attack in the future, and we’d never know since no one can travel through dimensions like that to check. He gets us scared, fighting a common foe, under his command of course, and we all fall in line on his little plan to bring vampires out into the open.”
I crossed my arms. “What do you mean, no one can go across dimensions? Fae do it. Demons do it. That’s how we have mixed breeds.”
Dorian rolled his eyes. “I meant no one can go across them easily. And then they can only make a portal for one or two or for a limited time, like demons who come over and get pulled back at dawn. Ripping a hole anyone could walk through without ties that drag you back to your dimension? It’s not possible.”
I stared him straight in the eyes. “I’ve done it. A few times. Today. It’s possible.”
He blinked quickly, but other than that, his face showed no sign of surprise.
“No, you haven’t,” he scoffed.
The others were still talking, mouths moving.
Took me a second to realize most of them had muted their sides while they gave marching orders to their people.
“Carvi,” I said conversationally, “how do you feel about a little demo for our friend here?”
Carvi turned his head to look at me slowly, and I grinned up at him.
Whatever was in my eyes must’ve been pretty dark, cuz he looked darn impressed.
“We could show them how it’s done,” Carvi said. “Kick this off. My people have already made a few bombs. I don’t know exactly who would be ripping in, but I figure if we aim for the sex Fae’s palace, we’ll get a few who deserve to be taken off either map.”
“We have the spells ready, sir,” Feather said.
I tried not to snort at the sir.
Who called someone they slept with sir?
“No spells,” I said, crossing my arms. “He believes it’s possible with spells. I’m gonna show him it’s possible without. So when we tell him to get his ass moving, he will.”
I cleared my throat, and the security personnel to my right cleared away.
“Thank you,” I said, focusing on the air in front of me. “Somebody want to give me some bombs? And set them and all? Cuz I don’t know how.”
“Got them here,” one of the male security guards said. “I can throw them in. I mean, if that’s alright with you, ma’am.”
I couldn’t help my grin, and it probably looked as nasty as it felt.
Normally a woman doesn’t like to be called ma’am, makes her feel old, but here? Here, I’d take it.
I fixed my eyes on the air in front of me, letting the calm wash over me.
I didn’t have the energy for this.
But oh well.
We needed something big to prove this was real? I’d give them something big.
“I’m wa-”
Whatever Dorian was going to say next got cut off as the world split open like a dropped watermelon.
It roared like nothing before, and my stomach lurched as my head seized up into a massive migraine almost instantly.
This wasn’t right.
Something wasn’t right.
“Carvi,” I gasped, mouth drier than when I was on antibiotics.
“Lea?” he asked after a moment.
He didn’t hear it. Didn’t see it.
“Something’s wrong!” I tried to scream, but it came out as a hoarse whisper. “They’re doin’ something.”
“Lea?” Carvi said again. “Nothing’s wrong. Carver, throw the bombs in.”
I screamed as the roar grabbed me and pulled me through the portal.
“Ariana!” Carvi screamed behind me.
I felt his fingers graze my arm, but the portal got me too fast, pulling me through before even a vamp could stop it.
Chapter sEVENTeen
I fell on my hands and knees on hard stone with a crack that made my ears hurt.
I wasn’t feeling the fall.
Not yet.
“Oh, shit!” someone said.
I glanced over and up.
Nausea taking me.
I rolled to my side, and Thomas stared down at me.
“Shit!” he said again.
“Right there with ya,” I said, wrapping my arms around my stomach. “Thomas, I… what happened?”
“No clue,” he said, running his hands over his short hair before saying something harsh in German. “I…”
A few more German words followed and I swallowed hard.
“English, Thomas,” I said once I got enough spit in my mouth. “How did you end up in here?”
“Grabbed onto you,” he said. “I wanted to keep… er, stay with you, so I did. But I’m still a ghost. I’m still useless.”
He slumped to the ground.
And his eyes flew wide.
“I felt that!” he yelped, slamming his hands flat against the stone with a meaty smack. “I’m corporeal!”
I blinked, taking a deep breath. “Okay, okay, maybe it’s cuz it’s a magical dimension? I don’t know. I mean, Pyro was able to talk in here, so the rules are different.”
He grinned. “I’m still dead, I can feel that, but I’m not useless.”
Thomas grabbed my hand, and his was cool but definitely solid in mine.
He pulled me to my feet.
Something fell off me.
And scurried away.
A ball of light bigger than it on its back.
My mouth fell open.
It’d been one of the spiders.
And it’d been on me… in me!
It’d been in me this whole time!
“I’m so stupid,” I said, exhaustion making my head spin.
“Huh?” Thomas asked.
“One of their little spiders crawled into my head when they captured us,” I said. “They… it must’ve been with me this whole time.”
“Why now?” Thomas asked. “Why did it yank you back now and n
ot earlier?”
“Because of the eclipse,” I said. “They let me escape, cuz they didn’t actually need me earlier.”
The exhaustion sweeping my whole body told me everything I needed to know.
“They needed my power to rip out for the eclipse, and figured why waste the energy to keep me if I got away, cuz they knew I’d use it during the eclipse, and they could pull me back when I did that, right when they actually needed it. That thing ran off with light outta me. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that’s my power.”
“How can you be sure?” Thomas asked.
“I can feel it,” I said, sadness sweeping me. “I can feel something missing. Not tired, not depleted, it’s just gone. And they took it. I’m not sure how, but they did. And I knew that little bug crawled in. I’d convinced myself it was out.”
The little burst of energy the adrenaline had given me flowed outta me and I sank to my bottom.
Too tired to even care.
I had nothing.
They’d taken it all from me.
And it was all my fault.
“Ariana, cut it out!” Thomas snapped, grabbed my arms and hauling me to my feet, his glare boring into me. “You’re sinking down, and I get it, I do, but don’t do it! You had something taken from you? Well, all of us have. I lost my life. AB lost me. Grant lost his mind. Carvi just lost you. Everyone loses things. It’s what you do to get over it or get it back that matters. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get moving. Now!”
“No wonder AB likes you,” I said weakly. “Thomas, I have no energy. None. It went with my power or something.”
“Then we get you some more energy,” he said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. “And we take your power back.”
“That’s very inspirational, really, it is,” I said dryly as I sat down again. “But that can do attitude doesn’t actually do anything.”
His eye twitched as he scowled at me. “This isn’t the woman I met. The one who barreled into the unknown last year in limbo. The one who shoved what, nineteen men, back into their bodies? The one who put together an entire network of supernaturals and made a conference? Where did that woman go?”
I flopped an arm in the direction of the spider. “Scurried off somewhere thataway.”
“I had no idea you were so fucking weak.”
