‘It does sound like fun. I love reading.’ There’s a sadness to Emily’s tone that I instinctively want to ignore, but I’m not the sort of person who can and before I even consider what Janey might have to say about it, I invite Emily to our next meeting.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes. You’re more than welcome.’
I fill her in on how it works and she says she’s already read Little Women recently and loved it. She can’t wait to discuss it. We talk about our children (Emily has two teenaged girls in private school, one doing GCSEs and the other doing her A levels) and life after husbands. To be honest, she seems more concerned with the divorce settlement than losing her soulmate of twenty years to a younger woman, but who am I to judge?
Chapter 33
To my surprise, Mike does turn up on Saturday to pick the kids up. Ralph seems in better spirits about going because Mike has promised that Henry and Ava can spend the afternoon with Kate, whilst he and Ralph head over to the go-karting place. I’m glad they’ll get to spend some time together. Ralph really needs it and I’m hoping he’ll talk to Mike about how he’s feeling about the whole Kate thing.
‘I must admit, I didn’t expect you to come today – I thought you’d cancel.’
Mike’s fighting with folding Henry’s pushchair but looks up to frown. ‘Why?’
‘It’s the boys’ club trip to the golf club and spa this weekend.’
‘Ah yes. That. How do you know?’
‘I saw Emily the other day.’
‘Oh. Wait, how did she know?’
‘She knew because she was supposed to be going before her husband switched her out for a slutty secretary.’
Mike’s jaw slackens. I don’t think he’s ever heard me speak that way before. ‘Look, Stephanie, the thing with me and Kate is nothing like what Bradley has done.’
My stomach curls. ‘Oh God, I know. I’m not saying you did that. Just that Bradley is a twat – I’ve always thought so. I thought maybe you weren’t going on principle.’
He rubs his jaw. ‘No, well, Kate doesn’t really like any of them. She thinks the women are stuck-up and shallow and the men are all tossers.’
‘And she’s right. I’m beginning to like her.’ Ava runs through the hallway and smashes right into my torso. She shouts sorry before darting up the stairs.
‘Stop running, Ava,’ I call after her. She’s looking for a teddy she’s desperate to show Kate.
‘Kate will come around. They’re my friends; I can’t avoid them forever.’
‘I don’t even get why you want to be friends with them. They’re all making three times the salary you are and they’ll never promote you to board level if that’s what you’re still hoping for. Not unless one of them dies. I think you’re wasting your time trying to keep up.’
‘Why do you care?’
As I stumble for an answer, Ralph comes down the stairs. ‘Have you got everything you need, love?’ I ask him, grateful for the distraction. He nods sullenly.
‘Great, well, let’s get you all in the car,’ I say, clapping my hands together.
***
Janey calls over in the afternoon unexpectedly. When I open the front door I can tell she’s been crying. ‘Oh, love, what is it?’
She walks in and heads straight to the kitchen. ‘It’s Jimmy. After everything he said about the kiss being an accident.’ She covers her face with her hands and sobs softly into them.
‘Oh no, what happened?’
Removing her hands from her face, she takes a breath. ‘He’s been on his phone a lot, texting. He’s always on there. Usually he’s looking at stupid sports cars on Instagram but I could tell something was off by all the typing. Anyway, I’m not proud of this but I snatched his phone off him in anger. He was on the loo but hadn’t locked the door. I walked in by accident and saw him tap, tap, tapping away. I saw red and just grabbed it.’
‘And he was texting Alex?’
She nods before erupting into heaving sobs. ‘Sexting, to be precise.’
‘How could he do that to you?’ I reach out to comfort her.
‘He’s not going to treat me like that.’ She rubs her sleeve across her cheeks. ‘One chance. That’s what he had and he’s blown it.’
‘Good for you. You deserve better, so do the kids.’
‘I’ve given him until next week to find somewhere to live. We’ll tell the kids next weekend.’ She starts pacing up and down.
‘They’re stronger than you think.’
‘Then there’s the financial stuff. I have some inheritance money but I’ll have to get a job.’
‘You can do that. I’ll help.’
‘The house? What if I have to move?’
‘Take it one step at a time.’
Eventually, she stops and takes a breath. ‘I can do this, can’t I?’
‘Amanda and I will make sure of it.’
She smiles through watery eyes and I pull her into a tight hug. When I feel like she’s calmed down, I make some tea and dig out the Mr Kipling cakes from the high cupboard where I hide treats from the kids. We talk about the logistics and eventually she starts joking about being the next Mrs Gosling.
‘Anyway,’ she says, much chirpier, ‘how did those drinks with Emily go?’
‘I invited her to join our book club,’ I say, braced for incoming.
Her eyes pop. ‘You did what?’
‘I suppose I felt sorry for her. She’s in the same position as I was when you found me sobbing in the supermarket.’
Janey sighs. ‘Yes, but you’re not an awful human.’
‘She showed remorse for that.’
‘Fine, well if she has time to squeeze in Little Women before next Thursday night so be it. Listen, I have to go. The kids will be back from their clubs soon but if you’re bored later, text me.’
After spending the day cleaning the house and weeding the garden, I’m as bored as I am knackered by six o’clock. I’ll never for the life of me understand why people like Mrs Hinch and Charlie Dimmock love this stuff! Give me a G&T and a muscly gardener to watch any day of the week. Not one to pass on a good idea, I make myself a G&T and sit out on the patio after showering off the dirt of the day. As I’m admiring my handiwork, my phone buzzes.
The woman next door is having a huge party again! There must be two hundred people there – there are cars parked all the way down the lane.
Before I’ve even read it, I can see Janey is typing a reply.
That’s it. We’re going this time.
I key out a reply as quickly as I can.
No! We can’t do that.
Janey replies a few seconds later.
Oh, come on, Stephanie, I need this and you were saying the other day that you wanted some excitement in your life. Well, here it is.
Isn’t it trespassing? I write.
If someone has a party that size, don’t you think they have a moral duty to invite the neighbours? It’s common courtesy! Janey adds.
I don’t think it is. I type. According to WhatsApp, Amanda is typing a message – good – she’ll put an end to this ridiculous idea.
I think we should get our glad rags on and do it!
I have to read the message twice.
Noreen barely knows what day of the week it is. She’s practically powered by gin. Come on, get ready and be at my house asap. If she says anything I’ll just tell her she invited me and told me to bring a friend or two.
I have to double-check but those words definitely came from Amanda.
Are you both out of your minds? I type.
I will be if I stay in any longer. Jimmy is here and I need to get away from him. Janey writes.
Fine! I type. Hopefully, by the time we get to Amanda’s, they’ll have both realised what a terrible idea this is.
When Janey and I arrive at Amanda’s, she answers the door with a giddy ‘Come in’ and an inner light in her eyes I’ve never seen before.
‘Okay, I’ve poured us a glass of Prosecco
for Dutch courage. After that, we’ll climb over the wall and slip into the party like we were meant to be there.’
I accept the drink and guzzle half of the flute before saying anything. ‘Do you think we’re dressed for wall climbing?’ Amanda has on a pencil skirt for goodness’ sake. I’m wearing a calf-length sundress and Janey has a floaty maxi-dress on. Thankfully we’re all in flat sandals.
‘Oh nonsense, it’s part of the fun,’ Amanda says, sloshing her glass around as she does. I can’t tell if she’s tipsy or giddy with excitement.
‘Can’t we just walk up the driveway like the other guests? I mean, if you’re going to tell Noreen that she invited us anyway …’
Amanda almost reels. ‘That’s a last-resort plan, Stephanie. I don’t want to lie to Noreen’s face. What kind of person do you think I am?’
I shake my head. I have plenty of new ideas but I don’t reply.
‘Come on, Stephanie, it’ll be a laugh.’
‘Fine, let’s gate-crash some poor sod’s party.’
Twenty minutes later we’re standing by the garden wall.
‘It’s eight feet of solid red brick.’ I knew it was high but I didn’t quite realise it was this high. It’s very pretty in a rustic way. The bricks are all different shades and textures after a hundred years or so of weathering and there’s an ivy plant covering part of it. Admiration aside, I can’t fathom how we’ll climb the damn thing.
‘Right, I have this.’ Amanda comes struggling across the lawn with a stepladder. ‘It’s the gardener’s. We can use it to climb up and then drop down the other side. It’s not as high Noreen’s side because of the hill.’
I sigh. ‘After you.’
Amanda takes the lead. The ladder creaks and wobbles as she climbs it and Janey holds it to keep it steady. When she’s at the top, Amanda hitches up her skirt so she can climb from the ladder to the wall, then swings her body around and slides off. It’s all rather seamless.
‘There’s nobody around this area,’ Amanda shout-whispers from the other side.
‘I’ll go,’ Janey says, already ascending the ladder. It wobbles and I grab it.
‘Thanks,’ she whispers.
‘Hang on,’ I say as she’s climbing across to the wall. ‘Who’s going to hold the ladder for me?’
Janey doesn’t hear me as she’s already flung herself over to the other side. A rational person would, at this point, go home. There is so much emphasis on peer pressure among teens but nobody ever talks about peer pressure in book club circles. Granted, the number of affected victims could probably fit on a unicycle, but still, we exist and we matter.
‘Come on,’ one of them shouts in a hushed tone from the other side.
I don’t want to do this. I really don’t but I know I’m about to. ‘All right, I’m coming.’
I reposition the ladder and give it a shake. It seems sturdy enough. I reach halfway without incident but as I step on the higher rungs (or are they called steps on a stepladder? It seems like they should be) it starts to wobble. It’s the kind of wobble that could gain momentum if I’m not careful, so I stop still and wait for it to die down. When it’s steady again, I breathe a sigh of relief and climb to the top platform as carefully as possible. There’s only a foot or so between the ladder and the wall – thanks to a well-stocked flowerbed it can’t be put right next to the wall. I stretch my left leg across the gap and my left arm and start to shift my weight over with my limbs. As I do so, the ladder wobbles and that momentum I was talking about kicks in. It does a couple of violent sways from left to right and falls. My body crashes into the wall and I’m left clinging on with my arm and leg like a demented koala bear whilst my face grazes the bricks. Somehow, I manage to clutch the top with my right arm too and pull myself up so I’m lying flat, face-down, atop – clinging on for dear life.
‘What happened?’ Janey asks.
‘The ladder fell.’
‘Are you all right?’ Amanda asks.
‘I think so. A few cuts and bruises perhaps.’
‘Come on, you just need to drop down now,’ Janey says.
The fall is only about five feet on Noreen’s side but it’s surprising how high it looks from here. ‘Okay, I’m coming.’
I force both legs over and drop down with a thud before standing up and dusting my dress down.
‘Oh God,’ Janey says catching sight of me.
I frown. ‘What?’
‘Your face! Here.’ She passes me her small compact mirror. I take a look – there’s a dirty graze on my cheek.
‘Dab it with this.’ She passes me a wet wipe. ‘Then cover it with this.’ Then a concealer.
‘Anything else in there, Mary Poppins?’ I ask.
‘As a matter of fact, yes, Alka-Seltzer so be nice because you might need one later.’
There’s some kind of chirpy quartet music coming from around the other side of the house and the sound of chatter and laughter carries over it. Where we are is a grassy area with lots of mature trees dotted about. It’s a bit like an orchard.
‘Come on, the party is in the main garden around the other side,’ Amanda says.
‘How the other half live,’ I whisper to Janey.
‘I know – main garden? I barely even have a subsidiary garden.’
As we round the corner of the big house, we all stop dead. The sight is quite something and brazenly walking over to join in is wrong on so many levels. There are fire-eaters, unicyclists, waiters carrying posh nibbles and flutes of fizz. On the far side, there’s a marquee where the music is coming from and amidst it all there are a few hundred people.
‘She might be bonkers but Noreen knows how to throw a garden party,’ Amanda says. ‘Come on, let’s grab a drink.’
Before I can stop her, she’s making a beeline for the nearest waiter and Janey isn’t far behind. I have no choice but to follow suit.
‘Cheers, ladies.’ Amanda raises her glass and Janey and I clink against it. We find an elegantly decorated table to sit at and as we do, a waiter offers us each a mini Welsh rarebit. It’s divine.
‘See, this is better than sipping gin on your own and eating some sort of freezer surprise,’ Janey says, and I have to agree.
By the time we’re on our third glass of champers, I’ve completely forgotten that we’re not supposed to be here and have had a dance with an old fellow and a chat to someone’s aunty. It’s like being at a wedding – you don’t know half the people there either. As I’m tucking into some sort of mini cheesecake, someone starts vigorously banging a metal spoon against a glass. It’s Noreen. I freeze.
‘I just wanted to say a few words. I want to thank you all for being here at my fifty-fifth birthday bash. I know some of you were lucky enough to attend my party a few weeks ago to celebrate the launch of my new business, “Fat Melt”.’ She cups her hand to her mouth in an over-animated way. ‘See me later if you want to know more. It’s just a few fat-dissolving injections to have you looking your best.’ Noreen does a twirl and gestures to her stick-thin self.
‘Eugh, she looks unhappy,’ Janey says. ‘I quite like my wobbly bits.’
I smile. It’s one of the reasons I’ve come to love her.
‘I know, I know, I look amazing but my years of personal trainers, yoga and diets just weren’t enough. Fat Melt is what’s given me this body. Anyway, we’re not here to talk business.’ She cups her mouth again. ‘But seriously, ladies, see me later.’ Then she winks. ‘We’re here to celebrate my fifty-five years young.’
There are warm ahh sounds from the crowd. ‘Thank you all for your gifts – I hope they’re good as I’m really spoiling you all tonight.’ She winks. ‘Anyway, I’m sure you could listen to me all night but I need a drink so have fun.’
Janey fakes vomiting. ‘If I lived next door to her, I’d nuke my own house just to ensure she was collateral damage.’
Amanda snorts with laughter. ‘She’s not a bad person, just very self-centred.’
‘Now I see why she drinks s
o much gin. Imagine waking up tomorrow morning realising you’d said all that bollocks to all these people?’ Janey says.
‘I must admit, I feel better about gate-crashing her party now I know what kind of person she is,’ I concede. ‘Now, where’s the hot waiter with the mini cheese-on-toasts?’
As the daylight fades and the fairy lights begin to twinkle, the evening is one of dancing, laughter and carefree fun. Janey doesn’t tell Amanda about the whole Jimmy situation and I sense it’s because she just wants a night of carefree fun with her friends – Amanda must too as she doesn’t ask. We leave via the driveway and Noreen is too busy talking about her size 6 wardrobe to pay anyone the blindest bit of attention, so our little appearance goes unnoticed.
I’m so buzzed when we leave that I hardly notice how dark it’s got.
A little bit of excitement wasn’t so bad after all.
Chapter 34
After the party, the week that followed was fairly uneventful and Saturday comes around again quite quickly. Mike and Ralph seemed to bond over the go-karts so Mike has decided to take him again this weekend and meet Kate, Ava and Henry at Pizza Hut for tea. Ralph is still quiet about the whole thing but he hasn’t complained either. Maybe he is coming around. With very little to do, I grab Otis and decide to go for a long walk.
We walk down to the river. The grassy banks are overgrown and it’s an effort to stomp along. I keep going though as the exercise won’t do me any harm. Before I know how far I’ve walked, I find myself at the pub at Crinkly. I get a brief flashback to sitting there with Edward a few weeks ago and it seems a lifetime ago now. My stomach rumbles in protest at the lack of sustenance so I decide to treat myself to a steak pasty from the bakery. I cross the road from the river and tie Otis to a lamppost outside before joining the queue. I’m so hungry, I ask for a vanilla slice and a coffee too. As I’m crossing back towards the river, a familiar voice calls my name. Despite the warm sunny day, I get a shiver down my spine. For a moment, I consider carrying on and pretending I didn’t hear but that would be too obvious so I turn around.
‘Hi,’ I say. Edward is wearing slim, fitted black jeans with brown leather boots and a white All Saints T-shirt. His hair isn’t styled in its usual full-bodied side-parted way but rather rumpled and natural. It’s always weird seeing him in his non-vet clothes and it does something peculiar to my lower abdomen. It’s like he’s two different people, in the same way Superman was never recognised as being Clark Kent. Or was he? I haven’t watched it since the Eighties. I suppose what I’m trying to say is, he’s hot in the tweed, but even hotter without it.
The Single Mums' Book Club Page 18
