‘Look at you!’ Cat said, dropping a kiss to Mabel’s forehead and then another to Sean’s cheek.
‘Sorry we’re late,’ Kelly said. ‘We had to go home because someone pooed.’
‘Sean!’ Cat said.
‘It wasn’t me!’ Arnold yelled from behind his dad’s legs.
‘Aha!’ Cat said, bending to kiss the top of his head. ‘I didn’t see you there. Ooh, you smell like…’ She took a big sniff. ‘Ketchup and strawberries and… McDonald’s. Have you been to McDonald’s?!’
‘That was the other stop,’ Kelly said. ‘Sorry, but he was hangry and I didn’t want to bring him in here kicking off.’
‘The thing is,’ Cat told Arnold, ‘I hope you’re still a bit hungry cos I made jelly.’
‘I LOVE JELLY,’ Arnold yelled.
‘You can eat it all then,’ Cat said.
‘Yeah, there’s no way that’s going to end well,’ Kelly said. ‘Come on then. Give us the tour.’
Cat held out her arms. ‘This is pretty much it.’
The flat was one main room with a kitchenette at the end.
‘I’d show you the bedroom, but Harvey’s getting changed and… actually that’s worth seeing, follow me.’
‘I’m done,’ Harvey said, appearing through the door and crossing the small room to shake hands with Sean, kiss Kelly, do the complicated handshake he and Arnold had worked out together, and say a very sweet ‘Hi, baby,’ to Mabel.
Cat was surprised at how easily Harvey had fitted into her friendship with Kelly and Sean. He and Sean got on brilliantly – they’d been out together socially without Kelly and Cat and Kelly was delighted that Sean had a male friend she didn’t hate. Cat had thought it would make her feel trapped, but it didn’t. It made her feel safe.
The door opened again and Harvey’s parents came in and immediately started fussing over Arnold and the baby.
‘Sam said to say hi,’ Harvey’s mum told Cat.
Cat still felt a prickle of awkwardness whenever Harvey’s mum mentioned Cat’s previous relationship with her other son, but it was getting easier all the time.
‘You’ve spoken to him?’
‘Skyped. This morning. Well, night-time there.’
Sam was in Australia for the comedy festival.
‘Is he having a good time?’
‘Loving it,’ Jan said. ‘Now can I have a cuddle with that baby, do you think?’
As Sean wrestled Mabel out of the carrier to hand her to Jan, there was another knock on the door and Cat opened it to find her dad standing there. She’d seen him a few times over the past couple of months, but always on neutral ground. It still wasn’t easy, but it was getting easier. Particularly since he insisted he was staying in London now. He’d brought wine and flowers and by the time Cat had opened the wine and put the flowers in water, everyone else had moved out onto the reason she and Harvey had fallen in love with this tiny flat.
They weren’t in Central London any more. But they had a terrace. It was almost the same size as the living room and big enough for a small table and a few beanbag chairs with planters around the edge. Cat had hung fairy lights around the railings and she couldn’t love it more.
‘This is wonderful,’ Jan said, holding up her glass. ‘To Cat and Harvey’s new home.’
Everyone clinked their glasses and Cat leaned into Harvey’s side.
‘It’s so perfect,’ Kelly said.
‘It really is,’ Cat agreed. ‘We have coffee out here in the mornings and wine in the evenings…’ And they’d almost had sex out there more than once but it was over-looked by at least ten neighbouring flats and neither of their parents needed to know about that.
‘And Cat comes out here to fake-smoke,’ Harvey said, bumping her with his hip.
‘You smoke?’ Cat’s dad asked, his forehead furrowed with concern.
‘Nah,’ Cat said. ‘Harvey thinks he’s funny.’
Harvey pressed a kiss against her temple and she considered asking everyone to leave so they could try to do it on the terrace. Maybe if they arranged a blanket like a tent?
Everyone jumped when Arnold screamed, flailing across the terrace to slam into Kelly’s legs.
‘What’s up?’ she said, leaning down to comfort him.
‘A bee!’ he yelled, his eyes wide with fear.
‘Bees are good,’ Kelly said. ‘You don’t need to be scared of bees.’
‘As long as you steer clear of their exploding balls,’ Cat said. ‘Do you think I could do stand-up about exploding bee balls?’
‘If anyone could, you could,’ Harvey said, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder.
She squeezed him back and looked at Kelly, Sean and Arnold. At Jan cooing over Mabel while Harvey’s dad, William, chatted with her dad.
‘You OK?’ Harvey said, his mouth next to her ear.
‘Perfect,’ Cat said.
‘I got you a latte,’ Harvey said, when Cat came out of the loo.
She’d been nervous-peeing all morning. She had an interview with a marketing company looking for a Head of Story. She wasn’t entirely qualified, but the female manager she’d spoken to on the phone had seemed excited at the idea of having a stand-up comedian working for them, particularly one who was going to be opening for Gemma Jewell’s next London show.
Cat leaned against him and he dropped his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her and kissing her temple.
‘I don’t think I can drink it,’ Cat said. ‘Too nervous.’
‘You’ll be brilliant,’ Harvey said. ‘You always are.’
Cat kissed him, marvelling as she so often did at how much she liked kissing him. How much she liked him full stop.
‘And you’ll wait for me?’ Cat asked.
‘I’ll be here,’ Harvey said. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
And Cat believed him.
If you adored Cat and Harvey’s story, you’ll love The Invitation by Keris Stainton – a hilarious and uplifting story about the one who got away. Get it here!
The Invitation
‘I absolutely-totally-completely-bloody LOVE Keris’s books!’ The Writing Garnet
* * *
Get it here!
* * *
When Piper James unexpectedly gets a message from her insanely hot teenage crush Rob Kingsford, inviting her to their school reunion, her heart flips. She hasn’t seen Rob in eight years – and he’s always been the one who got away.
* * *
Throw in some old friends (and frenemies), a sister on the edge of a meltdown and a few too many cosmos and you have all the ingredients for a real night to remember… Will Piper and Rob finally get together, the second time around?
* * *
A hilarious and uplifting story about conquering your demons and being true to who you are – perfect for fans of You Had Me At Hello, The List and The Best Thing I Never Had.
* * *
Available now.
Hear more from Keris
If you enjoyed The One Who’s Not the One and can’t wait to read more from Keris Stainton, you can sign up here to be the first to know about her next book. We promise not to share your details with anyone else, and we’ll only email you when Keris has a new book out.
Books by Keris Stainton
Women’s Fiction
If You Could See Me Now
It Had To Be You
The Invitation
The One Who’s Not the One
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Children’s and Young Adult
One Italian Summer
Lily and the Christmas Wish
Counting Stars
Spotlight on Sunny
Starring Kitty
Baby, One More Time (as Esme Taylor)
All I Want For Christmas (as Esme Taylor)
Emma Hearts LA
Jessie Hearts NYC
Della Says: OMG!
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Non-fiction
Happy Home Ed
As Delightful as a Carrot
A Letter from Keris
I want to say a huge thank you for choosing to read The One Who’s Not the One. If you enjoyed it, and want to keep up-to-date with all my latest releases, just sign up here. Your email address will never be shared and you can unsubscribe at any time.
The One Who’s Not the One was so much fun to write and I hope you had fun reading it. If you did I would be very grateful if you could write a review. I’d love to hear what you think, and it makes such a difference helping new readers to discover one of my books for the first time.
I love hearing from my readers – you can get in touch on my Facebook page, through Twitter, Goodreads or my website.
* * *
Thanks,
Keris
* * *
www.keris-stainton.com
If You Could See Me Now
‘One of the funniest books I've ever read. It made me cry with laughter. I highly, highly recommend it to anyone looking for a complete gigglefest of a read!’ Kirsty Greenwood
* * *
Izzy Harris should have it all – but her boyfriend has been ignoring her for months, she’s been overlooked for a promotion, and the owner of her local coffee shop pervs on her every time she has a craving for a salted caramel muffin.
* * *
Then an unexpected turn of events gives her the boost she needed.
* * *
Suddenly Izzy has the confidence to do all the things she’s never dared: dump her oblivious boyfriend, turn the tables on catcallers, and put herself forward for a big pitch at work. Having to work closely with gorgeous colleague Alex is just an added perk…
* * *
But then her best friend has her heart broken, the pitch is way more complicated than expected, and Alex is keeping secrets. Does Izzy have what it takes to help her friend, save her career and get the guy?
* * *
A funny, feel-good read about finding yourself – and love – when you least expect it, for fans of The List, Just Haven’t Met You Yet, and Hot Mess.
* * *
Get it here!
It Had To Be You
‘Keris’s writing is fiesty, fresh and utterly addictive. I LOVE it!’ Colleen Coleman
* * *
Twenty-five-year-old Bea is a hopeless romantic – with a hopeless love life. She’s been single ever since her awful ex broke her heart, and the only thing she gets up to in bed is watching rom coms on her laptop. So when she meets the man of her dreams, her Mr Darcy, The One, she knows she can’t let him get away. But the path of true love never did run smoothly, and Bea is about to find out that Mr Right might just be Mr Couldn’t-Be-More-Wrong… Will Bea be brave enough to change her dreams – and dare to ask for more?
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A laugh-out-loud tale for anyone who’s ever dreamt of a fairy-tale romance and found a real-life happy ending. Perfect for fans of Joanna Bolouri, Cate Woods, and Mhairi McFarlane!
* * *
Get it here!
Acknowledgements
Thank you as always to Abi Fenton and Hannah Sheppard for their encouragement and patience.
Enormous thanks to Emily Holmden Kingsman for the tour.
Hugs to Harry and Joe for being the best.
I wrote this book during a difficult year that also contained so many pockets of fun and joy. Endless thanks and love to my friends for the laughing and crying, singing and dancing, eating and drinking, and so so many high-traffic group chats. Let’s do it all again this year (maybe with a bit less crying).
Published by Bookouture in 2019
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An imprint of StoryFire Ltd.
Carmelite House
50 Victoria Embankment
London EC4Y 0DZ
* * *
www.bookouture.com
* * *
Copyright © Keris Stainton, 2019
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Keris Stainton has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this work.
* * *
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publishers.
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eBook ISBN: 978-1-78681-457-9
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places and events other than those clearly in the public domain, are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
The One Who's Not the One: A feel-good, laugh-out-loud romantic comedy Page 19
