“Right,” Julia agreed.
Silence settled around the women, interrupted only by the sounds of construction down the hill.
“Speaking of flowers,” Tara said, a smile playing at the corner of her lips.
Julia’s head rolled on the chaise headrest to face Tara. “Were we?”
Tara shrugged and laughed. “I thought of trying a segue into the conversation, but what the heck.”
Draining the last of the tea from her glass, Julia swung her feet over the edge of the chair to sit up. “I have been thinking about it actually. Can I bounce a crazy idea off you?”
Tara sat up, her eyes wide. “The crazier the better.”
Julia shrugged. “Well, it started last night before the kittens came—”
“I heard about that!” Tara interrupted. “I love kittens! That sneaky George, I can’t wait to see them.”
Not able to withhold a smile, Julia nodded. “They’re so amazing. So tiny and sweet. George doesn’t want us near them yet, and I’m trying to honor that but it’s killing me. That’s why I brought Ringo with me.”
Tara nodded and reached over to pat the little white dog. “So, continue with your idea.”
Julia shifted in her seat as she regrouped. “Okay, so anyway, I was on the porch reading my book about a country florist shop, and this idea came to me—”
Tara nearly jumped from her chair. “Oh my gosh, Julia! You have to open a florist shop in your house, it’s perfect!”
Chapter Thirteen
Caught off guard by Tara’s enthusiasm, Julia shrank back. She was unused to sharing her thoughts, let alone stray dreams. “Well—I don’t, I don’t know much about it,” she stammered. “It was just a wild dream that I had for a minute.”
Ignoring Julia’s discomfort, Tara leaped up and paced in front of her. “This is awesome! Oh my gosh, so many people will love this. You can sell cuttings from your yard and advice on how you grow such beautiful flowers. You can sell cut flowers and arrangements and do local funerals and deliveries. And weddings for us!” She stopped in front of Julia, talking excitedly with her hands. “This town has needed a flower shop forever.”
Completely overwhelmed, Julia retreated into herself, the color draining from her face. Tara plopped back into her chair, continuing enthusiastically. “I can help you find stands and display cases, and you can talk to Chad about doing the deliveries.”
Already disconcerted, the idea of working with Chad caused Julia’s senses to reel. Something inside her snapped as thoughts of Chad and Bobby and kittens and flowers tumbled over and over in her mind. Her chest constricted, and she struggled to find right side up.
The lack of response from Julia finally soaked into Tara’s consciousness. As her last sentence hung in the air over the deck, then wisped away on the breeze, Tara stuttered for a way to take back her overzealous response.
“Julia, I’m sorry, really I am. I do this.” She jumped back up to pace, then dropped onto her chaise, her hands imploring. “I hear something, and I get so excited, and my mouth runs off. Oh my gosh.” She stared up at the sky, then back down to Julia’s bent head.
Moving to sit beside her friend, Tara put her arm around Julia’s bowed shoulders and waited for the awkwardness to pass. “Julia? I really am sorry. I’d like to hear about what you were thinking. Honest.”
Julia’s gaze stayed on Tara’s sandals as she concentrated on breathing in and out. Ringo whined and lay at her feet. Coming to Smithville had not been the hideaway she had planned. Every day seemed to force larger and more demanding expectations onto her already weak shoulders.
Tara gave Julia a squeeze and tried again. “So—you were reading a book about a flower shop...”
Julia shrugged, knowing that nothing she could say now would compare to the fabulous scheme Tara envisioned.
Shifting back to give Julia some room, Tara changed her tack. “Forget that for a minute, tell me what is going on with you and Chad.”
There was no response but the breeze shuffling the plants on the deck.
Tara sighed long and twisted her hands in her lap. “Julia, please look at me.”
Julia glanced up, and she was struck by Tara’s expression of misery.
Tara held her gaze. “You have no idea how much I want to be your friend, do you?”
“It’s true,” Tara nodded. “I’ve been a loner my whole life. I never felt like I had a connection with a girl my age, until I met you.”
“Me?” Julia croaked.
“Yeah, you.” Tara pulled her hair over her shoulder and ran her fingers through it as she gazed across the pool. “I had a weird childhood and it left me feeling like no one understood me.” She tossed her hair back over her shoulder and turned to face Julia. “Something about you makes me think you feel the same way, somehow.”
Julia glanced back to Ringo, his head on her foot as he whined with concern. Here it is, she reflected, another defining moment when she could open up or turn away. Running her fingers across her scalp, she arched her back, struggling to find perspective and footing in the slippery emotional realm.
“I want to understand you,” Tara continued. “Can you talk about it?”
Shrugging, Julia glanced away.
“I heard from Justin that Chad had kissed you...” Tara prompted.
The statement brought Julia’s head up to meet Tara’s gaze. “Yup, it’s true. Boy, did I feel like a bad friend,” Tara lamented.
Julia sniffed. She didn’t want to know how Justin found out, she just wanted to—she wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore.
“I saw that he spent the night at your place,” Tara continued. “Was it because the kittens were having trouble, or...”
Julia’s mind ground to a halt, as if the entire world was waiting for her to either open her mouth and have a genuine conversation about her fears and hopes and relationships, or it was waiting for her to shut down and disappear altogether. Unfortunately, she knew all too well that the ground wouldn’t swallow her up just because she wished it would.
Carefully examining Tara’s face, Julia saw a person who appeared to have no hidden agenda. Julia knew that nothing hinged on her response but gaining a friend, which in itself was a commitment she’d promised herself never to make again.
Relaxing her hands in her lap, Julia took a deep breath, then made the first step to a new life. Once the choice was made, the words poured from her like a flooded reservoir spilling over the sluicegates.
“We fell asleep. I was crying because of the kittens—in a good way, but—that’s what I do when Chad is getting too close—and he was so close—and he was—I was bawling like a baby, so he held me—” She turned to Tara and grabbed her arm. “And, oh God, Tara, he felt so good this morning when we woke up—and then Bobby came to check on the kittens and he thinks that we—”
Julia’s hand dropped to the chaise. “But we didn’t—I mean we might have if he hadn’t-” She paused for a breath and her forehead wrinkled. “But no, I don’t think we would have.” Her hands waved in agitation. “Anyway, he likes me, Bobby that is, well Chad too—” One hand came up in explanation. “But I didn’t know about Bobby until the night we stained my floors, and I swear I wouldn’t have hurt him if—” Her brow lowered in thought. “But there was already this thing with Chad— and I didn’t— I wasn’t—” the torrent slowed, the stream of words reducing to a trickle. “Chad is just so—and I wanted—”
Tara sat with her eyes wide, desperate to catch the words as they rushed past. When silence fell between them, her mouth moved as she struggled to form a coherent response to the deluge of emotion.
Ringo jumped to his feet and barked as Justin opened the door and stepped onto the deck with a soda in his hand. “Oh, there you are. I was looking—” His sentence faded as he noticed the tense silence and blank expression on both women’s faces. He glanced over his shoulder, then across the pool, wondering where the bomb had dropped.
“Don’t move,” Tara said, squeezin
g Julia’s hand. Then she jumped up and hurried to Justin’s side. She leaned toward him, her back to Julia, and whispered a few adamant sentences to him, one hand gesturing.
Justin’s eyes widened and he took two steps back into the house and quietly closed the door. Tara hurried back to sit by her friend and took Julia’s hand in hers, her face wearing a falsely serene expression.
Julia glanced toward the door, embarrassed. “What did you say to him?”
Tara shrugged. “I just told him if he trusted me, he should believe that he didn’t want to be out here, and to go back in the house.”
“And he went? Just like that?”
“Well,” Tara laughed, “We’ve been dating for almost a year now, and I think he’s learned to be afraid.”
Considering Tara’s comment and Justin’s response, Julia shrugged.
“So, back to what you said—” Tara redirected. “You cried and Justin held you and you slept?”
Julia nodded, still uncomfortable with vocalizing her non-relationship with Chad.
“And then you woke up?”
Standing, Julia moved to the deck rail, Ringo at her feet, to gaze across the pool toward the forest.
“Did he try anything?” Tara tried again, looking a bit chagrined, as if she knew it was a personal question but was dying to know.
Julia didn’t answer for a long moment and then she turned to back to face Tara and leaned against the deck rail. “I don’t know. He kissed me, and I liked it, then Bobby came to the door.”
Spreading her hands palm up, her face to the sky, Tara closed her eyes. “Thank you! Now we are getting somewhere.” She stood and meandered to the rail. “Has anyone told you about Chad?” she asked cautiously.
Julia tipped her head to one side, her brow puckered in thought. “Not really, but people act funny about him sometimes, even you.”
Tara’s expression grew grim. “I’m not going to gossip, his story is his to tell, but you should know that he has been through some hard times the last few years, and he sees Bobby as a little brother. Chad is devoted to taking care of William’s family.”
“Okay...” Julia replied, unsure what that had to do with her.
Tara struggled for words. “It’s just, well, Chad hasn’t allowed anyone to get close to him for years. He’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but you are the first person he has— the first woman—”
Shocked, Julia groped for understanding. “Surely he has—I mean he must date.”
“Have you met Gloria yet?” Tara interrupted.
Julia shook her head.
Tara thought for a moment, then turned back toward the chairs and bent to retrieve their glasses. “Chad has dated Gloria on and off for over a year,” she stated flatly.
Shock bubbled up from Julia’s toes then surged into an angry boil under her skin. “He has a girlfriend?” she sputtered.
Pausing, Tara shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t say that.”
“Then— then what are you saying?” Julia stammered.
Returning to the rail, Tara balanced the empty glasses on the top handrail and examined Julia’s face. Finally, she spoke. “Like I said, he hasn’t let anyone get close. Gloria is—not the marrying type per se.”
“She’s a—?”
Waving her hands, Tara backed up. “No! Nothing like that, she’s a nice enough girl, but I’ve known Chad wasn’t interested in settling down with her. Do you understand any of what I’m saying? I’m not good at this.” She tugged her hair over her shoulder and ran her fingers through it again.
Julia stood, looking blankly toward the pool. “I don’t think I understand.”
Tara tossed her hair back over her shoulder and grasped Julia by the shoulders. “I’m trying to say that we all adore Chad, and he’s been kind of—closed down. You are the first glimmer of hope we’ve had for him.”
Not sure whether to be flattered or overwhelmed, Julia sorted through her feelings. She’d been thinking this was all about her and her issues – her running from Chad. And come to find out, everyone was worried about Chad. Already overcome by her own problems, she felt even more at a loss as to how to deal with Chad and Bobby.
As Julia visibly retreated into herself, Tara began to panic. “What is going on in that head?” she asked, leaning forward.
Stepping back, Julia wanted to run. “I’m not— I’m not the one he should— I can’t—”
Regaining her grasp on Julia’s arm, Tara disagreed. “Don’t you see? You are drawing out Chad. Don’t be afraid.”
Julia tugged at her arm. “No, I need to go now.”
Tara dropped Julia’s arm to step in front of her. “Stop and listen to me for a minute. Don’t run, I always run -- and it doesn’t help. Geez you are so much like me.” She shook her head then continued. “I promise, I didn’t mean to pressure you. I know you’ve been through a hard time too, and all I’m saying is that maybe you two can help each other.”
Julia paused. “I don’t want help.”
“You haven’t done anything yet but be your charming, beautiful, alluringly distant self, and Chad has been drawn to you. I guess my point is that Chad doesn’t know what he’s doing or what he’s feeling, and he’s confused, so don’t be surprised if he acts— stupid.”
Silence hung between the women as Julia thought back on Chad’s responses to her over the last week.
“Well, maybe stupid was the wrong word,” Tara clarified. “How about... cloddish?”
A giggle bubbled up Julia’s throat.
“And Bobby drives him completely insane,” Tara continued, rolling her eyes. “But he loves the kid.”
Julia’s head tilted. She couldn’t have helped but notice that fact. “I’ll think about what you’ve said. I am drawn to him. But... that’s another thing, he’s so not my type.”
Tara laughed. “Watch out then, because those are the dangerous ones!” She collected the glasses from the deck rail and turned away. “Come on, let’s go in the house and I’ll show you where I want flowers for the wedding.”
They stepped through the door, Julia pausing for Ringo to trot in front of her, and found Justin seated at the table typing on his phone. He froze and looked up, his expression one of alarm and question.
“You’re safe now,” Tara laughed, waving one hand dismissively.
Justin sighed and stood, a grin spreading across his face as his stance relaxed. “Well, that’s a relief.”
“Sorry about that,” Julia said, her face turning pink.
“Hey, no problem,” Justin assured her. “I’m glad you two are friends. I’m thinking that you will take some of the heat off me.”
Tara snorted, her eyes shooting sparks, one hand on her hip. “What does that mean?”
Justin swept up to her side and scooped her into his arms, bending her back so he could nibble kisses on her neck. “That means,” he said between kisses. “That you will love having a girlfriend to tell how horrible I am.”
Squirming to get away, Tara giggled and swatted at Justin. “Well, I do need that.”
Enjoying the diverting and playful energy of her new-found friends, Julia noticed that her shoulders relaxed, and her stress dissolved, especially when she considered that she had officially turned a corner. Resolutely, she decided to enjoy her new friendships for as long as they lasted.
* * *
As Julia wound down the long drive from the inn, the song Imagine came to mind. A long happy sigh escaped her lips as she hummed the tune, the lyrics flowing freely through her mind, even though they probably wouldn’t have if she tried to sing them out loud. John Lennon had created one of her all-time favorite songs, and as the music reverberated through her mind and soul, Julia allowed the afternoon visit with Tara to waft through her thoughts, unfettered by fears or insecurity.
They had walked through the inn, Tara showing Julia where flowers should be placed for the wedding. The house had stunned and amazed Julia, and its charm and appeal were still on her mind.
So
many cold lonely days had passed since she had thoughtlessly connected with a friend, allowing conversation to flow unstinted, her own pleasure and enthusiasm obvious in her voice, gestures, and expressions.
The whole afternoon had left her feeling energized and hopeful. A few weeks ago, she would never have believed she could feel this good, and even now it felt surreal. Though she was unsure that it would last, her heart grasped at each happy moment, holding it dear, as the breeze blew through her curls and song lyrics now ascended and fell intermittently and quietly through the truck cab.
Anticipation to see the kittens pulsed through Julia as she pulled into the drive. Ringo danced around her feet as she crossed the yard and juggled keys to unlock the front door, the china dish tucked carefully under her arm.
Padding across the living room, Julia placed the bowl on the folding table, then paused at the door to the den, poking her head around the doorjamb to peek at Ringo’s bed. George looked up, her yellow kitty eyes bright and wide in the quiet room. The cat purred as Julia tiptoed in to kneel by Ringo’s bed. One hand reached out of its own accord to caress the velvet soft back of the tiny yellow kitten where it lay curled against its mother. George continued to purr, her eyes closing briefly in a blink, as if to say, “Go ahead, I trust you to touch my babies.”
Julia’s heart felt as if it would burst with contentment and love.
The rumble of a truck pulling up to the house roused her from the moment, and she stood to pad back across the room and step through the door, quietly closing it behind her.
Glancing through the screen door, Julia could see Bobby and Chad climbing from the moving truck. As they rolled open the back of the truck, she leaned against the doorframe, sizing up the men. Even from the house she could feel tension radiating off Bobby and tired chagrin weighing down Chad.
Only a few head bobs and minimal greetings passed between them as Julia held open the screen for the men to carry in the furniture. She unobtrusively muttered directions as to where she’d like things placed, and once all the furniture was in the house, Bobby announced he would walk back to the shop. As the screen slammed behind him, Julia’s eyes met Chad’s -- both miserable.
Hometown Series Box Set Page 45
