Winnie turned back to Tara in shock. “You did? Just like that?”
“I’ve put a lot of thought into this,” Tara continued. “And I’d already decided before the interview that if she had experience and seemed capable, I’d hire her. I need help with Lizzie’s wedding for sure. If she’s doing well after that, then we’ll decide long term. Plus, I haven’t done anything with the boutique in forever. I may stop in and see Becky...”
Winnie wiped her hands on her apron and pulled up a stool to sit at the island. “Oh yes, do, Becky would love that. So, what is the new manager like?”
“Kind of the opposite of Marge, to be honest.” Tara said, dropping her elbow on the counter and resting her chin in her hand to admire her artistic daughter.
“How so?” Winnie asked.
“Blue,” Bella declared, reaching for a blue crayon that had rolled beyond her reach.
Tara handed Bella the crayon, then watched as she wrote in the lower corner of her paper, as if to sign her name. “Well, she’s short and a little chubby, where Marge is tall and thin. She has kind of a large—” Tara patted her own butt “—and she wore a lovely dress, I’m not sure what the fabric was. She’s traveled all over the world and worked at hotels, so she has lots of experience. She said if it works out, she’d like to live at the Inn, to be on call.”
Watching Tara closely, Winnie took in her facial expressions, her demeanor, and her words. “Are you really okay with this?”
Tara was silent for a minute then nodded. “I think— I’m freaking out, but I need the help.”
Winnie reached across the island to take Tara’s hand. “I know this has been hard for you, honey. I’m so proud of you.”
“For needing help?”
“For being strong enough to ask for help.” Winnie clarified.
* * *
That night, as Justin read a bedtime story to Bella, Tara stood in front of the bathroom mirror. The long, silk, nightgown fit fine but not like it had before Bella. It had taken an hour to find the thing buried in the back of a drawer. It was a wonder it still fit at all.
She hurried to brush her teeth, then headed into the bedroom, where she stood by the bed, considering her options. To celebrate hiring a manger for the Inn, she’d come up with the idea of surprising Justin with a little romance. After all, now that she’d not be exhausted and upset all the time, they’d have some time for romantic evenings. Well, if Justin had time, that is, but he’d make time. He had to if he wanted another baby.
She rummaged through the drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a little candle, then searched again for the cup it belonged in. How long had it been since they’d burned a candle anyway? She found the cup and put the candle in it, then returned to the bathroom for a match. Once the candle was lit, nervous energy settled into the pit of her stomach.
“This is silly,” she said out loud. “We’ve been married for years.” But it didn’t feel silly, it felt… weird.
She folded down the covers on the bed, adjusting them to be spread smooth at an inviting angle, then climbed onto the bed and laid languidly, resting on her elbow.
She felt like a fool.
With a huff, she got up and smoothed the covers, then tried standing by the bed with one hip cocked and tossed her hair over her shoulder. No, that was even worse.
Her shoulders slumped and she tugged at the too-tight strap of the nightie. Why was she being so ridiculous? She hurried to the bathroom and sorted through the medicine cabinet over the sink. Sure enough, the bottle of lotion was still there. She’d bought the stuff when she was pregnant with Bella, to use as backrub lotion on a special evening, but the smell of it had been too much for her morning sickness. It had been tucked away without them ever even trying it. She screwed off the lid and took a whiff. Smelled nice. Then she heard Justin open the bedroom door and she froze.
“What’s with the candle?” He called out.
She didn’t answer.
He came around the corner of the bathroom door and stopped short. Then a smile spread across his handsome face and his eyes danced. “Well, look at you!” He came up behind her and put his arms around her waist.
She straightened her shoulders, watching them in the mirror as he kissed her neck. His reaction had been perfect; she couldn’t have hoped for better. He really was a charming man.
“What have you got there?” he asked, reaching for the bottle in her hand. “Erotic Envy Massage Oil for Couples,” he read from the label. His eyes came up to meet hers in the mirror and one eyebrow hitched up.
“I got that before Bella was born,” she said, feeling the need to explain.
“And now…”
Her chin came up. “I thought maybe we’d finally try it.”
“Okay!” he said enthusiastically. “Give me a minute and I’ll be right out.”
She moved out of his embrace and hurried out of the bathroom. Wandering into the bedroom, she took a deep breath. You’d think she’d never been with a man before. Then again, it had been a long time since they’d actually planned to have sex. There had been the occasional hey, let’s have a quickie, before they fell asleep, but nothing this organized, for sure. She heard the toilet flush and water turn on in the sink. Hastily, she turned off the lights, climbed in the bed, and tugged the covers up to her chin. The candle flickered like a clock as she listened to Justin brush his teeth and spit. So much for romantic.
Wearing only his boxer shorts, he came out of the bathroom and circled the end of the bed with the lotion bottle in his hand.
Tara couldn’t help but think about his clothes on the bathroom floor.
“Can I rub your back?”
She stared at him in the dim light, feeling shy. She was never much good at performing when people were watching.
“Or, were you planning to rub my back?” he asked with grin.
She lowered the covers to her waist. “I’ll take a back rub.”
He climbed onto the bed and she sat up, turning her back toward him, sitting cross legged. Justin squirted some lotion onto his palm and then rubbed his hands together to warm it, and Tara twisted her hair into a knot on the top of her head. He moved closer, and when his hands made contact with her skin, his fingers caressing purposefully around her shoulders, she remembered how good Justin was at giving backrubs. How could she have forgotten?
He found a sore place near her neck and paused to work it, causing her to grunt in pain and pleasure.
“You like this?” Justin asked, his fingers continuing to work magic along Tara’s neck and shoulders. He leaned in and dropped kisses along her neck. “You smell delicious, do you know how much I’ve missed this?”
The tension in her body melted away, and all she could think about was the heat of Justin’s fingers. Her head fell forward and she drew the straps of her nightgown from her shoulders. Justin’s thumbs worked in circles, rubbing away the stress of her life, her shyness, and building her need to feel more. The lotion on her skin was hot and slick. She slipped the nightie lower, it now barely covering her, and she arched her back into his hands.
“I’m sorry it’s been so long, Tara, I’ve really missed touching you,” Justin purred while kissing one shoulder and then the other, as his hands massaged her waist and then dropped lower to her hips.
“It tingles,” she sighed as the heat of the lotion grew, turning to a sizzle, rising goose bumps along Tara’s back. But then she realized they weren’t goose bumps -- they were hives and the burn was getting deeper. Struggling out of the passionate fog, she pulled away from Justin, rubbing at one shoulder. Tears sprang into her eyes. “It’s too hot, Justin, it’s hot. It burns!” she cried, scrambling off the bed and pulling at her nightgown. “Make it stop!”
At first, Justin was confused. “What’s hot?” but then realization dawned, and he climbed from the bed. “Are you allergic to the lotion or something?”
“I don’t know,” she cried, rubbing at her arms and back. “It hurts! What should I do?”
/> Justin flipped on the lights. Sure enough, Tara’s shoulders, neck, and back were bright red, lumpy, and angry. “Let’s get you into the shower,” he said, taking her arm and leading her into the bathroom. He turned on the hot water in the shower, then turned back to help her peel off the sexy nightgown. Through his concern, he couldn’t help but notice that she wore nothing underneath.
“I’m so sorry,” Tara sobbed. “I wanted to be sexy—”
“Shush, don’t cry, come on now, step in. Let’s get that lotion off you, and then I’ll get you some Benadryl.”
Tara climbed into the shower, with tears running down both cheeks. She lathered up and scrubbed where she could reach, then Justin climbed in with her, to scrub her back.
He was so sweet, so nice about it. She was so lucky to have a man like Justin. She’d tried so hard to make him happy.
Why did stuff like this always happen to her?
Chapter Eight
As Winnie walked across campus, an autumn breeze tossed dry leaves, whipped her jacket, and tangled her long blond hair. Straight, silky hair was pretty to look at but not easy to maintain. Luckily her hair was naturally straight and fine, so she didn’t have to iron it on the ironing board like some girls did. But it did tangle easily. She tossed her hair back over her shoulder, fighting to keep it out of her face.
The weather wasn’t the only thing that had Winnie on edge. The previous evening with Thomas was still on her mind.
The more time she spent with him, the more she realized how much he was into changing the world. It was a good thing he wanted to change it for the better, because she was falling for him. He certainly had different ideas than the folks back home. And he definitely knew how to get her attention. Until now, she had no idea she could find a man’s thought process as fascinating as— as the rest of him.
The way he’d held her, kissed her, teased her, drew her out. He turned her on and made her think. He forced her to search deep for what she wanted. He was interested in her thoughts and concerns, her needs and desires. Even ones she hadn’t admitted to herself.
“Hey, Wynona, wait up,” a voice called out behind her.
Her eyes searched through the mass of students and came to rest on Roy. She shifted her books and zipped her jacket while she waited for him to shoulder through the crowd toward her. Roy had such a characteristic long-limbed, farm-boy grace, so different from Thomas, and as always, a warm feeling came to her when she saw her friend. She’d had a serious crush on him around age ten but that had dimmed through the teenage years, and he’d slipped comfortably into position as the brother she’d never had.
He ran the last few steps to catch up.
He was a nice enough looking guy, come to think of it, a good solid person with an honest open face and a ready grin.
“Where are you headed?” Roy asked, squinting into the wind.
“To the Biology building,” Winnie said, unable to miss how he frowned when he saw the length of her skirt. Roy was old school to the bone.
“Have you seen Claudia?” he asked.
“Not since I left the dorm this morning.”
He sighed and scrubbed his hand across his crew cut in frustration.
“Is your momma still worried about her?”
His gaze came down to meet hers, and Winnie was taken aback by the stress in his face.
“I’ve been putting mom off, telling her Claudia’s busy with school and such. I’m worried though.”
Winnie motioned for him to join her on a bench, and they sat down. Roy put his elbows on his knees and stared at the sidewalk.
“What has you so upset?” she asked, wondering which part of Claudia’s behavior had him the most on edge. She certainly had her own concerns about what Claudia had been up to, and skipping class was only one of them. If the girl didn’t start taking school more seriously, she’d only last one semester.
“Well, word about my little sister gets around,” Roy said with a dark glance up.
It hadn’t occurred to Winnie how Roy would feel if he heard gossip about Claudia. “Like what?”
He stared at the ground, but a blush rose up his neck.
It looked like the worst kind of gossip had indeed made it back to him. Winnie squirmed on the bench, remembering what Claudia had said about sleeping with someone and not needing to fall in love with them to do it.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“That’s just it,” he huffed, throwing his hands in the air. “What can I do?”
She remained silent.
“Mom and Pop would be so upset if they knew what kind of parties she’s going to.” He turned to Winnie, his expression serious. “You can’t imagine the things they do, Wynona.”
That rankled. She wasn’t eight years old … or oblivious. “How do you know?” she snapped.
Roy’s face drained of color.
“Oh, stop it. Quit being such a drag.” she said, giving his shoulder a push. “Try not to worry. Maybe she’s just getting it out of her system, and she’ll come around.”
He didn’t reply. He was still stuck back on her comment about participating in the parties.
How could she explain it to him? Wanting to help, she tried again. “You know— times change, and that’s how it’s supposed to be.”
“What are you talking about?” he grumbled, flopping forlornly back on the bench.
“Things move forward. People try new things.”
“Things?” he parroted.
“Yeah, you know,” she said, putting her book on the bench and turning toward him with an earnest expression. “We are exploring space, just like Columbus sailed across the ocean. People struggled to build a train across the country. Technology changes, attitudes change.”
“Right and wrong doesn’t change,” he countered.
“Doesn’t it?”
“No, it doesn’t,” he said stubbornly. “Not when it comes to how people act.”
“Oh, so you think women shouldn’t be allowed to go to universities or that we shouldn’t be able to vote? That had to change. You think we should just cook and clean and do what our husbands tell us to do?”
He shook his head. “Don’t go all feminist on me, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, you mean things should stay the way they are in Smithville.”
His expression changed. “And what’s wrong with Smithville?”
“Nothing,” she sighed, realizing her point was lost on him. “Would you feel the same if Claudia was your little brother instead of your little sister?”
His face scrunched. “How would that happen?”
“No, seriously, would you be this upset if your little brother was partying?”
“Claudia is never going to be my brother.”
“Roy, try to understand what I’m saying here.”
He groaned. “I am trying.”
“Okay, think. Let’s say that you have a little brother, not Claudia, a brother.”
He waited for her to continue.
“And let’s say he is excited to see all the cute girls up here. He’s interested in what alcohol and drugs are like. He wants to try new things.”
He shrugged.
“Well, would you be this upset?”
He frowned. “That’s different and you know it.”
“Why? Why is it different?”
“Because!” He threw his hands in the air.
“Explain it to me -- how is that different,” she insisted.
The look on his face made it clear that if she were anyone else, and she weren’t his only hope to reach Claudia, he’d get up and leave.
“Is it because you’re afraid she’ll get hurt, you know, raped or something?”
“Well yeah,” he scoffed, as if that were a no brainer.
“Or is it because girls shouldn’t be drinking, or at wild parties, or sleeping around like guys do?”
“They shouldn’t,” He insisted.
“Why? Why is it okay, and even natural
, for a guy to do it, but not a girl?”
Now he was mad. “Wynona, how do you expect her to ever go home and get married and have a family if she’s— she’s— gone all wild?”
“Boys do it all the time! And what if she did want to go home and settle down after this? Are you suggesting she’s ruined or something?”
He stood, his fist clenched. “You’re not making any sense. Boys are boys and girls are different.”
She stood too, glaring up at him. “Yes, we’re different, but we’re human beings, and we wonder about things. We want to know how the world works. And not just so we can go back to dirty dishes and laundry and forget about everything we learned. We want to be scientists, and professors, and electricians, and doctors. We want to contribute to society as professionals too.”
“What about having kids?”
She faltered. “Well— that too.” Her world shifted under her feet. Her words were from the heart, and she meant them, but— when had she gotten so passionate about women’s rights? Sure, she wanted to go to college, she wanted to be part of a changing world, a technology-driven world, but did that clash with how she pictured her own future?
“And how are you going to manage flying to the moon and having babies?” Roy demanded, folding his arms across his chest, waiting for her to answer.
His demeanor pissed her off, as if she had no right to her own ideals and future as a person -- not just as a wife and mother. “Maybe men will have to do more around the house than sit in their chair and smoke a pipe, waiting for dinner to be served!”
“Look, Wynona,” he said, his arms coming to his sides and his hands in fists. His expression was set, and his voice was louder than before. “I’m not stupid, and I understand what you’re saying, to a point. But for God sakes, the stuff I’m hearing about Claudia from the guys at the dorm is enough to—” He swallowed hard, and his voice came down a notch. “It makes me sick.”
Winnie’s heart sank. Based on how rumpled and out of it Claudia had been when she stumbled into the dorm room that morning, she’d been hammered. It had alarmed her too, to be honest. Claudia was being pretty reckless. “I’ll try to talk to her, okay?” she offered, placing her hand on Roy’s arm. It was important to her that Roy try to understand.
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