by Rita Lakin
They sit there, stunned, these mourning guys, wondering at the possibility.
Maybe this case is not so open and shut.
Maybe some doubt, after all.
THIRTY-THREE
The Mortuary and a Scared Otis
One more stop to make. We’re getting tired, but the girls are excited. They feel we may be getting somewhere after all. I’m cautious. We have a long way to go toward proof.
‘I bet we’re on the right track,’ says Sophie.
I want to share their enthusiasm, but it’s a long shot.
Last stop. At the mortuary in the basement of a local hospital where we meet Otis Pebbles, the coroner. He did the autopsy. The room gives the girls the creeps; we’ve never been in one of these places. It’s an unusual experience for us. Never, in any of our past cases, did this kind of visitation come up. And though the girls are curious how things happen in here, they’re a little fearful. So they tiptoe into the refrigerated all-white, highly lit room with its tiled floor, aware of its strange, unpleasant odor. They cross their arms to their shoulders because of the cold temperature.
Sophie whispers, ‘It’s just like in the movies. I wonder who’s in those drawers. Brr.’ She glances quickly at the shut built-in drawers, and just as quickly looks away.
Bella adds, ‘Reminds me of horror movies. I like horror movies, but I look away at the bloody parts.’
I would color Otis Pebbles pale gray. Wispy. Shaky. Scrawny. With a bent back, I guess from all that leaning over dead bodies. A slight wind could blow him over.
Thank goodness he’s in-between corpses; none are to be seen, and we find him eating lunch. His peanut butter and jelly sandwich and takeaway cardboard cup of coffee sits on one of the stainless-steel operating tables. Who could eat lunch on that?
‘Don’t touch anything,’ he tells us.
As if any of us would in this creepy place.
I do my usual introductions. Immediately we are informed he doesn’t want to talk to us, whoever we are, or whoever sent us. At least we don’t have to go through the usual song and dance about old ladies being investigators, etc.
He cuts to the chase. ‘Ladies, I’m positive you mean well, but the guy was killed by a fish. You should let it alone. I really mean it. So, leave it alone.’
A famous line pops into my head. ‘The lady protesteth too much, methinks.’ Methinks Shakespeare was right. That was Hamlet speaking; but in this case it’s Otis doing the protesting.
He waves his hand, and points us back out the door. I’m curious to why he is so nervous.
I closely peer at his face. He’s got a tic dancing in one eye. ‘Please leave. I’m a busy person.’
Yeah. No dead body. Eating lunch. Busy?
The girls obey, starting out, glad to leave this cold and scary place, but not me. I have a hunch and I decide to act on it.
‘Otis,’ I say ever so kindly, ‘you have doubts, don’t you?’
He stops mid-bite, rigid and fearful. ‘Please go away, lady.’ He cannot look me in the eye.
‘What if a fish wasn’t the culprit?’ I keep it up, speaking, ever so gently. The girls stop, surprised. Evvie can guess what I’m doing.
‘Hard to believe a fish dives out of the water, leans down and stabs him. Stretches the imagination. But something did stab him. With something like a snout. Or maybe somebody.’
He is actually stuttering. ‘I’m s-s-six weeks away from m-my retirement. You kn-now how bad I want to get out? I h-h-have a sick wife. We’ve n-n-never had a vacation. N-n-never …’
Very softly, I repeat, ‘Not a fish, but a human with a weapon? Say it, Mr Pebbles. Please.’
He is near tears. ‘I tried to tell them. They didn’t want to know.’
I won’t let go. I’m so close. ‘Maybe a weapon that looked similar to a spear-like snout?’ And my mind skips to a photo in Robert’s office. What did those lawyers do with their caught fish?
He stands rigidly, like some tin soldier. He pulls himself together. He stops stuttering. ‘They reminded me of my retirement date. How good my pension is. Maybe they’ll move it up sooner. I shouldn’t make waves.’
Evvie wants to ask the obvious question. Who’s the ‘they?’ I stop her. We got what we need.
I pat Otis on his skinny, shaking hand. Then I put my finger to my lips. ‘We were never here, Mr Pebbles. We never met you. Never. Good luck on your retirement.’
He sobs his thanks as we make our way out.
Evvie beams. ‘I thought of the photo also. Reasonable doubt.’
‘Yes, but what do we do now to prove it?’
We stare at each other, knowing. The ball is in our court.
THIRTY-FOUR
Manny and Julio Unexpected Surprise Visit
The food truck pulls into a parking place near the front of an impressive building. Two storeys high, almost one street long. Palatial, elegant, all whiteness and gold trim. Huge windows. Beautiful lawn and garden. They walk along an adjacent row of palm trees seeming as if they are meant to be a formal line of green statues, their fronds, bending in the breeze toward the beautiful building. All nice and peaceful.
During their ride over here, Manny insisted on asking where Julio was taking him. But Julio kept saying to wait, it is a surprise.
And he is surprised at the building. ‘Wow,’ says Manny, ‘reminds me of a Disney movie set. Somebody rich must live here.’
‘What is a movie set of Disney?’ Julio asks.
Manny is surprised. ‘You never been?’
Julio shakes his head. He hasn’t a clue.
They start walking toward the entrance. ‘Never saw The Lion King? Finding Nemo? Bambi? The most wonderful kid movies ever.’
More head shakes. Julio opens the huge impressive, polished oak door.
‘Not even Mary Poppins or Dumbo?’ Manny is still mumbling.
Julio thinks this man wants to be so tough, he, who speaks so softly of this thing of children.
Inside the spacious lobby, the décor continues in white and gold. A bouquet of exotic flowers greets them on a front desk.
Julio walks over to the desk, Manny right with him.
Manny smiles. ‘I get it; this is a hotel.’
A pretty lady of indeterminate age stands in front of a sign that says, ‘Please check in here’. On the telephone, she answers, ‘Good afternoon. Twenty Palms Retirement Community, One moment.’ She covers the phone with her hand and smiles at Julio. ‘Hello Julio. You’ve brought a friend.’
He signs in, Julio speaking Spanish. The woman answers him in his language. Then she goes back to her call.
Julio starts to walk down the hall. Manny, at his side, is stunned. ‘This fancy place is a retirement joint? But there wasn’t a sign on the outside.’
Julio has been here before.
He taps Manny on the shoulder. ‘Come. We stop and visit mi abuelo. My grandfather, Emmanuel. He is ninety-nine years in age. My grandmother wanted to keep him at home, but he needs too much care and she is too fragile.’
Manny watches for signs of disrepair or ugliness or bad smell – there’s none. The building sparkles with cleanliness. Nurses and others walk by, smiling and nodding. Manny is amazed.
Some wheelchair people in the hall are about to pass them. He stiffens, expecting the worst. Six of them. Men and women. They are wheeling themselves or being wheeled at a good pace to some location down the hall. They are clean, well-dressed and happy. They chat back and forth, cheerfully.
Julio recognizes one of them. ‘Max, where are you off to?’
The smiling man, Max, calls out, ‘Bingo in the big auditorium. Wish me luck.’
‘Buena suerte,’ Julio calls back.
Max answers, ‘Thanks.’
As they walk further along, Manny stops at a huge type of billboard. It lists the week’s activities. Manny is stunned. Besides bingo, there are so many items including: chess, poker, sewing, photography, gym and exercise classes. There’s a library, an indoor pool, a theater; it goes on and o
n, so many choices. It makes his head spin.
‘Nice,’ says Julio. ‘A home of happy people.’
They reach his destination. Julio says, ‘This is what they call the rec room. We will find grandfather here.’
The room is spacious. Light. Airy. Much is going on. Someone plays the piano, with a few people singing along. Residents are doing many different things. Some reading. Some playing board games. Some working on computers. Lots of jolly talk.
Julio finds his abuelo playing checkers with a pretty woman. Manny would guess she is in her seventies. He admires her, she sure looks younger.
‘Ola, mi hijo,’ says Emmanuel, greeting his grandson warmly, ‘give me a few moments and I will put Annabella out of her misery.’ Manny studies Julio’s grandfather. For a man as old as he is and who seems breakable, the old guy is chipper. Emmanuel makes two quick moves with his red checkers and the game is over.
Annabella laughs. ‘You should let me win once in a while.’
He pinches her cheek playfully. ‘Tomorrow, Princess, maybe you will let me beat you at chess?’
She giggles, and then gets up. ‘I shall leave you to your guests. Nice seeing you, Julio.’ She gives Manny a big smile. Manny, elated, follows her with his eyes as she glides across the room.
Julio introduces Manny. ‘Poppa, here is a man with your same name. Emmanuel, meet Manuel.’ The older man reaches out and they shake hands. Emmanuel’s hand is shriveled, and spotted, but the grasp is hard.
For a few minutes, the grandpa and Julio jabber away in Spanish. Julio informs Manny that they are exchanging family reports. His other siblings have visited this week, and he is catching up on their news.
Manny makes good use of his time waiting. He glances around the room, eyes seeking out all the women, and liking a whole lot of what he sees.
Julio notices. ‘Tell him, Poppa.’
Emmanuel smiles. ‘There are ten women to every man here. Although I am a married man, and I stay faithful to my wife, it is a temptation. Madre comes here for what is it they call it?’ He asks Julio to remind him of the word.
Julio grins. ‘Conjugal visits. Just like they do in jail.’ Both men laugh.
Emmanuel adds, ‘The younger generation; they think old age means no more romance. They are so wrong. This is how you call it, a hot bed of love.’ He laughs.
They visit for a while with much smiling and chatting; then Julio explains that he is on a job and must get back to it.
Many hugs between grandfather and grandson and they leave.
People call out greetings to Julio who stops for quick words.
Once outside, in front of the food truck, Manny repeats happily, ‘Ten women to every man. Heaven on earth.’ (He’s thinking strip poker at midnight, but first in the kitchen snacking on food.) Those lucky ladies …
Julio smiles. As his peculiar lady client likes to say, he thinks – gotcha.
THIRTY-FIVE
Ida and Hy Make a Plan
They’ve ordered takeout. It’s already evening and Manny and Julio haven’t returned yet. They are waiting for them in Manny’s trailer. Ida, Hy and Dolly-Ann are enjoying the takeout meal of Indian food and a few bottles of Kingfisher Indian beer. They are crowded together at the tiny table with its two skinny pads for seats. By now they are getting along and are feeling mellow.
Hy has told Dolly-Ann that he must go home. She agrees that it’s necessary.
Ida is content; she’s done her job. The women actually like each other.
Hy says to Dolly-Ann, while chewing on naan bread, ‘I’m sorry I didn’t help with your problem.’
‘But your being here gave me the courage to take on my stubborn brother. And I thank you for that.’
Ida sympathizes. ‘Men are such trouble.’
Dolly-Ann agrees. ‘Toil and misery, that’s all we get from them.’ She indicates the mess that is this RV.
Hy pounds lightly at his chest. ‘Hey, wait a minute, a man is sitting here.’
The two women giggle. ‘We know,’ says Ida. ‘We are very aware of you.’
Hy smiles; they are having fun. He’s almost relaxed. ‘Pass me more naan,’ he says pretending he is insulted. ‘I’m outnumbered here.’
Dolly-Ann passes him the spicy bread. ‘What will you tell Lola?’ By this time they’ve discussed Lola quite a bit.
Hy shakes his head. ‘I’m in big trouble. I admit I’m afraid to go home and face her. She will never forgive me.’
Dolly-Ann tries to be helpful. ‘But you were a perfect gentleman. You should have a clear conscience.’
Hy thinks, like hell he does.
Ida thinks, like hell he does.
Hy has a question for Ida. ‘What’s with the stupid raincoat?’
‘None of your business.’ Hy looks at her slyly. This annoys Ida.
They eat cheerfully for a while, reaching over one another’s arms to get at the food plates that have covered every small inch of that table. One false move and any plate will upend on the floor.
Dolly-Ann, ‘Isn’t the lamb samosa wonderful?’
Ida agrees, ‘I’m a big fan of the chicken tandoori.’
Hy says, with gallows humor, ‘A perfect meal for a guy on death row.’
Dolly-Ann pats his arm. ‘Poor baby.’
Ida is jolly. ‘I’ve just thought of an idea that might save your skin. Kind of hard to believe. It will take super good acting.’
Hy peers at her with amazement. Ida wants to help him? ‘I can act, what’s your idea?’
‘You go home and tell Lola you had amnesia. For two days.’
‘What!’ Hy and Dolly-Ann both cry out, astonished.
‘I mean it. It can work. You went out for a drive. You had a slight accident with your car …’
Hy jumps out of his chair, almost knocking over his samosa. ‘I should bang up my beautiful Mazda! You know how I keep that car in perfect condition. You always see me scrubbing it down on Sundays!’
‘Hey, you want to live your life again? Shut up and listen. You give the car a slight tap.’ Ida is remembering her own car ‘accident’.
‘Then you tell her you hit your head …’
Hy shocked, ‘I have to hit my head?’
‘Also a small tap. You go home. You tell her you climbed out of the damaged car with amnesia. You didn’t have a clue who you were or where you were. And also, by the way, lose the cell phone.’
‘I love it,’ says Dolly-Ann.
Hy shakes his head. ‘Nah! She’ll never believe it.’
Ida explains, as if to a dull child, ‘Yes she will. You’ll cry. She’ll cry. You tell her a pathetic story about wandering around and sleeping on a beach somewhere. By the way, on your way home, stop at a beach and roll in the sand. And then suddenly; thank you, God, you snap out of your amnesia and you’re Hy again. You can’t wait ’til you get back home to your sweet wife. Voilà.’
For a moment, Hy thinks about it. Then, ‘She’ll drag me to my doctor, worried about me. He won’t find any kind of concussion.’
Ida, kidding, ‘I’ll be glad to hit you and give you one.’
For a moment, he actually believes her. Then the three of them burst into laughter.
Ida again, ‘You friendly with your doctor? Didn’t I once hear about a guys’ night out poker game?’
Hy remembers. ‘Yeah, Ralph is one of the players. My proctologist. I can go to him.’
Dolly-Ann giggles. ‘So funny! You go to a proctologist for a concussion?’
Hy is surprised at her surprise. ‘Yeah, we consider him our family doctor.’
Ida claps her hands. A done deal. ‘Perfect, you go to Ralph for your exam and you tell Ralph to save your ass.’ She laughs at how funny that sounds.
Hy, the pessimist, ‘But what if he doesn’t want to help me? Physicians’ code?’
Ida grins. ‘Come on! You guys stick together when it comes to deceiving wives.’
Hy thinks, ‘There was that time with Ralph and a stripper in Reno …’
<
br /> Ida, ‘I rest my case.’
Hy tries to pace, not easy with all the junk around him. He accidentally knocks over a box of used batteries. ‘I can imagine how the whole thing goes down. I open the door and she screams, “Thank God, you’re alive” and then she’ll say, “Where the hell have you been?” Then I tell her the amnesia story and the first thing she’ll say then, “I’m taking you to the doctor” …’
They examine for any pitfalls in the story. Dolly-Ann says, ‘She’ll ask why you didn’t go to the police or to a hospital. You might have died with a concussion.’
Ida says easily, ‘All he thought about was getting home to his darling.’
Dolly-Ann comes up with something to help. ‘You blew out your tires when you had your “accident”. That will explain why you bought four new tires.’
Ida says, ‘Good catch, Dolly-girl. Hmm. Of course, you have papers in your glove compartment that would identify you.’
Hy contributes to his story. ‘I was too confused to even look.’
Ida thinks it, but doesn’t say it; that blows the whole story, but maybe he’ll get away with it. If he cries enough.
‘Hold on a minute,’ Ida found another loophole. ‘Your wallet. You gotta lose it.’
Hy shrinks, ‘No way. I got my life story in that wallet!’
Ida smiles. ‘No problema. Give it to me to hold. I’ll sneak it to you at home later.’
Hy also smiles, but his is crafty. ‘Like I should trust you? Never.’
Ida holds out her hand. Hy shrugs and tosses the wallet to her. He has no other choice.
They are eating their delicious flan dessert. Dolly-Ann has gone to the bathroom.
Hy whispers, ‘Ida, what about you?’
Ida startled, ‘What about me?’
‘You were sent by Lola to find me. What will you tell her?’
Dolly returns.
Ida, ‘I didn’t find you. Listen carefully. I never found you. I never went into some crummy trailer. Sorry about that, Dolly; I don’t want to insult you.’
Dolly-Ann listens to this banter, fascinated. ‘No insult taken.’
Ida continues, ‘I never went to Miami. I ended up in Homestead.’
