by Nicki Rowe
Sam returns with a small box, barely big enough to fit in the palm of my hand, but beautiful with stars and flowers carved into the sides and lid. Tears prick my eyes. “I’m so sorry I will never be able to meet her. From the stories I have heard from Wally, she sounds like she was a great person.”
“She was,” Sam says, his voice thick with emotion.
“I still love her,” Wally says, his voice small and quiet, guilty. “I don’t think I can ever stop loving her.”
I carefully set the box on the table and pull Wally up so we’re sitting nose to nose, forehead touching forehead. “I know you do, and I will never ask you to stop loving her, but I hope there is room in your heart for both me and her, even if that piece you have for me is only a fraction of what you feel for her, because this thing we have--” I stop myself. I don’t want to confess that I had fallen in love with him on the eve of Doris’s death and when he was drunk. “I know how much she means to you, Wally, and I will never expect you to replace her with me.”
Tears are streaming down his face. It’s the first time I have seen him cry, and there is something beautiful about it--almost like we’re taking a huge step in our relationship. “I know you wouldn’t, baby, but I still feel guilty for loving you while I still love her.”
My heart soars at his confession and I kiss him lightly.
Sam’s words bring our kiss to an end. “Pops, Mom would be so happy that you have found Gideon. You shouldn’t feel guilty for finding happiness again, Mom would have wanted it.”
Wally sniffs, giving Sam a watery smile. “I know.” He turns to me, drawing me into his arms. “I want you,” he whispers. “Right now, I feel guilty, but I will love you as equally as I love Doris. Just give me time.”
“Like I said, Wally even if you just love me a fraction in which you love her, I will be happy.” Tears spill down my cheeks, and his fingers come up to brush them away. I love you, Walter Pyke. I love you so much.
Chapter 20: Gideon
I’m holding my phone tightly in my grip, agitation rolling through me like a storm. This weekend as been too long, Benjamin and Amber weren’t here to act as a buffer between me and my parents, and while I felt like Wally and I had taken a big step in our relationship, things were still up in the air. We still haven’t talked about Wally confessing that he loved me, and me not having responded, but we checked in with each other, and I was pleased to hear that the Newports had allowed Wally to go with them to scatter Doris’s ashes.
“Gideon!” My mother’s voice comes from somewhere in the large manor. “Come here, I have a surprise!”
I groan and hoist myself out of the chair in the library, and pad through the empty manor in my socks until I find my mother in the drawing room. She’s standing by the fireplace, and there’s a young woman sitting on the lounge in front of her.
“Millie?” I ask as she turns to me with a smile.
Millicent Belfor is the heiress to a large hotel chain, and my ex-girlfriend. She’s exceptionally nice, smart and beautiful, but things didn't work out between us. Millie is the female version of Anthony, too uptight for my tastes. We both agreed we were better off apart, and seeing her after all these years was like a shock to my system.
“What are you doing here, Millie?” The universe is seriously fucking with me? How is it a coincidence that I have seen two of my exes in the same week?
“Your parents invited me,” she replies, sipping the drink my mother had poured for her. Millie has always been elegant, but the years and the prestige have made her even more regal. “I was in town overseeing the construction of one of our hotels and saw your mother at the coffee shop across the street.”
I look at my mom, she’s smiling like a cat who just ate a canary. “I’ll let you two catch up.” and with that she’s gone.
I’m internally seething at my mother’s antics; so much for the turning point I thought we had reached.
I sit next to Millie on the sofa. She’s sitting as straight as pin with her hands folded in her lap. “How are you, Marsh?”
I laugh at the old high school nickname. “I’ve been great.”
“Your mom tells me you’re single,” she asks, her voice laced with hope. “I just broke up with someone myself.”
My smile falls. I had been playing this game with my mother for years, but never had she brought an old flame into the mix. “I’m not single. I’ve been in a relationship for the last six months.”
“Oh!” Millie clutches her heart. “Marsh, I’m sorry to assume. Your mom made it seem like you still had feelings for me after all this time--”
“I’m sure she did. My mom has been very heavy handed in her quest to get me to marry a woman that she deems appropriate for a Marshall.”
“This woman you’re dating now, Mrs. Marshall doesn’t approve?”
It’s then I realize how much we don’t know about each other; it’s been twelve years since we have seen each other last. She’s missed my coming out on Facebook, and the last I had heard of Millie she had been on her way to Mexico to intern at one of her father’s hotels.
“Um, Millie,” It feels strange coming out to someone again after all these years of living as an out and proud bisexual man, “I’m bi. The person I’m seeing is a man.”
“Oh, wow! Good for you, Marsh! I had no idea.” she turns, giving me her full attention. “Tell me about your guy.”
So, we talk. We talk about everything we had missed in each others lives over the last twelve years, and at the end of the conversation we exchange numbers and Millie goes on her way.
I stand at the front of the manor watching Millie’s tail lights disappear into the darkness when I feel my mother come up behind me.
“Wasn’t it great seeing her after all these years? And she’s gotten so pretty.”
I turn, glaring at her and shaking with rage. “I thought we were done with all the bullshit, Mother! You told me you were going to stop playing matchmaker, but tonight has proven that you don’t respect me, you don’t respect my relationship!”
Her lips purse and she crosses her arms over the jacket of her pantsuit. “I just want you to be happy, Gideon.”
“I am happy!” I throw my hands up, running them through my hair. “Being with Wally makes me happy! I have finally found someone who accepts me. Weird shirts, adolescent sense of humor and--” I stop myself before I say kinks. I didn't want to give my mom a heart attack, even if I was more angry with her in that moment then I had been in my entire life. “He loves me, Mother, and I love him. Why can’t you accept that?”
He face pulls tighter at the mention of love. “The family name--”
“If the Marshall reputation means so much to you, more than my happiness means to you, than I want nothing to do with it anymore. I am done. I will not be coming to these family dinners anymore. I will be here for Christmas, but only because Amber will hate me if I miss it.”
“Gideon--”
“No. I-I-I can’t do this anymore.”
I turn, heading back into the house to grab my bags. I can hear my mother crying outside, but I make no moves to turn around. I pull my phone out and dial Wally’s number.
“Hey, baby.”
“I’m coming home, Wally. Tonight.”
“Are you okay? I thought you weren’t coming home until tomorrow afternoon.”
I swallow, gripping my phone so tight my hand begins to hurt. “I don’t want to talk about it. Will you be awake when I get in? It won’t be until the early morning, but I need to see you.”
“I’ll be awake, my boy. I’ll get you from the airport, just let me know which flight you end up taking.”
I smile. “Thank you, Wally.” I hesitate for a moment and then say, “I love you, Daddy.”
I can hear the joy in his voice as he says, “I love you too, my boy.”
December
Chapter 21: Wally
I wake up on the sixteenth of December with Gideon wrapped around me. I look down to see his hand spl
ayed over my nipple, his wrist still slightly irritated from the rope I had used to tie him up the night before. On the nightstand are nipple clamps, a bottle of lube and a butt plug, but I ignore all those items to look at the clock. Eleven in the morning.
I have to get up and get ready for work, envious that Gideon can sleep all day if he wished. He has Ken overseeing everything at the clinic until they close for Christmas.
I only have three days to celebrate the holidays with Gideon before he leaves to see his family in Baltimore.
I groan and roll out from beneath Gideon, and go out to the living room where my boy has insisted that I make the house look like Santa has thrown up all over the place. I have never been one to go all out for Christmas, but what my boy wants, my boy gets. I hear sounds coming from the kitchen, so I follow them to find Sam making breakfast.
“Morning, Pops.”
“Sammy,” I grumble.
“Coffee’s brewing.” He turns, making a face at me. “You know, you should really hide your ropes. I don’t want to come over and see the evidence of what you and Gideon get up to.”
Sam gestures to the yellow ropes still tied to the legs of the dining table, and I smile, remembering how Gideon had tied me to to it and climbed on top of me, riding me until we both erupted, shouting each others names.
“Don’t go into the living room then.” There’s still a ball gag on the couch that I didn’t have a chance to put away after our fuck fest last night. “Also, just because you have a key doesn’t mean you can just waltz in here unannounced.”
Sam rolls his eyes. “I always come over unannounced.”
“Then I can’t be held responsible for what you may or may not walk into. I gotta keep my boy satisfied.”
He makes a face that has me chuckling. “I will call before I come over from now on.”
I stand and grab a cup of coffee, and then lean against the counter as I sip from the extra large mug that says ‘I LOVE MY DADDY’ that Gideon had gotten me a few weeks ago. “You’re really okay with this, right, Sammy? You know that mine and Gideon’s relationship is unconventional for the ‘normal’ folks, and I know it must be weird seeing me in a Daddy-Boy relationship.”
He shrugs, stirring the oatmeal in the pot. “It’s a little strange, but I’m happy for you, Pops. I haven’t seen you this happy since Mom, and I can tell you love Gideon a lot.”
“I really do.”
“Like ‘long haul’?”
“That’s a question I would like answered,” came Gideon’s voice from the doorway.
I look up to see my boy leaning against the doorframe with his sleep pants hanging low on his hip and his delicious chest hidden by one of my shirts. He’s still wearing his training collar, and the sight of it brings a smile to my face. I push away from the counter and go to him, devouring him in a long, hungry kiss.
Gideon moans, matching my assault of his mouth with his tongue. “Didn’t get enough last night?”
“And that’s my cue to leave,” Sam says, drawing our attention. He looks ready to be sick. “Oatmeal’s done. Gideon, please make sure he eats some sort of fruit.”
“Will do, Sam.”
I pull Gideons mouth back to mine. I hear Sam gag behind me and depart. Gideon pulls back, arms still wrapped around me. “You didn’t answer Sam’s question.”
I lead him to one of the chairs and gently push him into it before kneeling in front of him. “I’m in this for the long haul,” I say, my eyes burrowing into his blue ones, “for as long as you want me, I am yours.”
He smirks and drapes his arms over my shoulders. “Good. Now didn’t you promise me Christmas presents this morning?”
I reach up, circling a hand around his throat and pull him down for another kiss. “Impatient boy,” I whisper. “Breakfast first and then presents.”
He pouts as I stand and go to the stove. “I don’t even like oatmeal.”
“No one does, but if you don’t eat this, you don’t get presents.”
I turn with two bowls in my hand, seeing Gideon’s pretty pout pull deeper. “Okay, Daddy, but I’m not happy about it.”
I laugh. “You’re so dramatic.”
I go to the chair, pulling Gideon from the seat. I sit and then pull him into my lap. It’s my favorite place to have Gideon, and even though he had protested sitting in my lap in the beginning, he loved being there now. He leans back against me, his warmth radiating through me as we eat. After, we clean up the kitchen and settle in the living room, Gideon is on the couch while I pull the three presents he bought for me out from under the tree.
I frown in his direction. “I thought we said only one present?”
He smiles mischievously. “I couldn’t help myself.”
I pull my one gift for him from under the tree and bring it over. I draw my tattooed knuckles down his cheek as I hand it to him, loving the way he leans in to the touch with a soft smile on his face.
“Open your gift, baby.”
He rips the paper from the box, throwing it over his shoulder, and then opens it, revealing two collars: one is a black, chunky leather cord with a padlock at the end, and the other is a thinner, but still substantial chain with a secret locking mechanism on the back and a small pendant on the front that is shaped like a lock with my initials stamped into it.
“Wally,” he breathes out, “I….these...they’re amazing.”
“I know you liked both styles when we were looking at collars last month, but I couldn’t decide on which one to get you.”
“Can I keep them both?” He asks, stroking his fingers over them in the box. “I want the black one for everyday, like when we’re hanging around town or with our friends, and the chain for work and stuff since it looks like a necklace.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
He looks up at me, a tear streaking his cheek. “This is the best gift I have ever gotten, Daddy, thank you.”
I lift the leather collar from the box and trade it for the training collar around his neck. “What are you going to tell Amber about this?” I ask, laying my fingers on the lock at the base of his throat.
“The truth. She knows a little about the Daddy-Boy stuff, but I never told her what it meant to be collared. I’ll explain it to her.” He sounds nervous, but I don’t mention it. He smiles up at me, placing his hand over mine over the lock. “And all I got for you was a new bike helmet and I framed that picture we took in Vegas back in September.”
“Thanks for ruining the surprise.”
He shrugs as I gather him in my arms and kiss him. Never in my life--well, not since Doris--has anything felt so right. My heart is so full of love for this man, I feel like it’s going to burst in my chest.
Chapter 22: Gideon
I play with the lock of my collar nervously as I wait for Amber to meet me at my apartment. I can hear her coming up the stairs after I had buzzed her in. Never in my life as Amber judged me for anything--Amber doesn’t judge anyone--but I knew my relationship with Wally was something not everyone would understand.
“God, it’s freezing!” she exclaims, throwing the door open and entering the living room wrapped in a scarf and her YSL jacket.
I sit a little straighter as she un-bundles and then throws herself on the couch, placing her dirty boots on the coffee table. I frown at her, but she doesn’t remove them.
“So, what’s up?” Her eyes land on my neck and go wide. “What is that?”
“Um,” I clear my throat, “as you know Wally and I are in a sort of unconventional relationship--”
“You called him Daddy when we had dinner with Sam and Lacey last month, so yeah.”
“Well sometimes people like us--kinksters--like to be collared or to collar their subs to show, not just ownership, but commitment.”
“Like an engagement ring or something?” though her brows are knit together in confusion, I’m proud of her for trying to understand. “So, Wally gave you a….collar?”
“He did,” even I can hear the e
motion and love filling my voice.
She tilts her head to the side, studying the leather cord. “Can you take it off?”
“Wally has the key.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t understand this, but I can see how much it means to you, so I’m not going to say anything negative about it.” I let out a huge breath at her words. “If being...collared makes you happy, then good for you.”
“You’re not weirded out?”
“I mean yeah, but I’m not going to shun you for what you’re into. You’re not hurting anyone.”
“Thanks, Ames.” I lean over and pat her knee. “I was going to a Christmas party at OMS, you wanna come?”
“You know I never pass up a chance to party!”
I pin her with a stern look. “No drinking.”
“You’re no fun!”
~*~
Amber walks straight up to Wally, who is standing near the hall that leads back to the bathrooms and office. “You better be good to my brother!” she yells over the poppy, bullshit rendition of Let It Snow. She’s jamming her finger into Wally’s chest, and I’m finding it hilarious that my eighteen-year-old sister is squaring up against my over six-foot, tattooed, biker boyfriend. “If you hurt him, I will personally hurt you.”
Wally puts his hands up in surrender, looking to me for help, but realizes he isn’t going to get any. I don’t want to incur Amber’s wrath. “I assure you, I have no intention of hurting your brother.”
“DUDE!” Alex’s loud voice draws my attention, and half the party’s to where he’s standing with Anthony, Lucky and Declan by the bartop. “Come here!”
I leave Wally to fend for himself against my sister, and make my way over. Alex is smiling as I approach, and pulls me and Anthony into a hug. His eyes go to my neck.
“You got yourself a collar.”
I can’t keep the smile from my face. “He gave it to me this morning.”
“I’m happy for you, Marshall. You look like the sun is shining out your asshole.”
“Thank you for that, Alex,” Anthony says.
