by H G Lynch
“What do you think you’re doing?” Reid snapped.
She answered acerbically, due to the brief spark of anger in her chest. If she wasn’t so worried about him, she’d be extremely irritated about him snapping at her. As it was, she was mildly annoyed. “I think I was sitting in a tree. You’ve seen me do it before. Hell, you’ve even done it yourself a few times,” she said with a thin smile.
Reid made a low sound in his throat like a growl, and clenched his fists at his sides. “I meant. Why are you outside on your own? The morning after you were nearly kidnapped by The Society! Again!” he hissed.
Ember took a deep breath and counted to ten. She didn’t want to argue with him, not now, but her temper was flaring up and making it damn near impossible to diffuse the situation. “I needed to calm my nerves,” she said quietly, trying not to grit her teeth.
Reid threw up his hands in agitation. “And you couldn’t just pace circles in the back garden? You had to leave the safety of the wards? Of course you couldn’t! Of course you did! Why? Because your ultimate goal in life is to drive me to the edge of insanity and beyond!” Reid yelled, his eyes rippling over with a metallic shine.
Ember tried to keep in mind what happened the last time she lost her temper with him, tried very hard not to yell back, but it was so…so…impossible. “Yeah, that’s the goal my whole life revolves around —pissing you off! Jesus! How the hell do you think I felt last night when I woke up and you were gone, huh? I was terrified! Every time I have that goddamned nightmare, every time I’m forced to watch you die before my eyes or see you taken away by those faceless monsters, I feel like my heart is trying to explode inside my chest and I can’t breathe and I can’t stop shaking! And then, to wake up and find you missing! You have no idea how-how that…it makes me…” She trailed off, choking and gasping on the tears that broke loose and ran down her face. She felt her hands shaking, her chest heaving, her throat closing up as she tried not to sob. Her mouth twisted, and she turned away from him, clenching her teeth and squeezing her eyes closed. Damn it, damn it! she cursed herself mentally, I didn’t mean to tell him— Didn’t mean to let him know. The nightmare. I shouldn’t have said…Her mind made garbled, half-formed sentences of her thoughts, but it was too late. She’d said it. She’d told him what the nightmare was about. And to top it off, she was crying again.
Great. Just freaking perfect. Well, there went her brief skin of strength. It seemed she’d only been able to hold onto it for one night, for the fight.
Stupid! This is so stupid! How could one nightmare — a stupid, pathetic bad dream — crack her like this? Would she have snapped like this if she’d seen Sherry’s death coming?…Probably. But maybe she could’ve prevented it; this, though, she felt like she just couldn’t. Like the outcome here was final, inevitable. Fate was playing some cruel, cruel joke on her. Torturing her. And she couldn’t take it anymore. These nightmares had to stop or she’d never stop crying.
A hand touched her shoulder lightly, and she flinched, jerking away from the contact. Spinning, she saw Reid staring at her with wide, swirling eyes, his mouth open to say something, but no words coming out. What could he say? Nothing. There was nothing for him to say, nothing that would help her. But he tried anyway, because that’s what he was used to doing.
“Ember, that’s what your nightmare is? Me? All of this is because you’re worried about me?” he asked gently, something like guilt touching his tone.
Sniffling, she shook her head, but she knew he knew she didn’t mean it. “I…It’s…” She couldn’t think of a thing to say.
Reid stepped toward her hesitantly, reached out a hand to her.
When she didn’t take it, he let it drop back to his side, hurt flashing in his eyes, but then vanishing behind a wall. “You really think The Society is going to get me? That’s what’s had you so freaked out all this time? Ember, it’s just a dream. Given, a really bad one, but still. It isn’t real. Look. No, look at me. I’m fine. I’m here. I’ve been staked and stabbed and shot with a lethal arrow, and I’m still standing. Don’t you think if they were going to get me, they would’ve done it by now?”
He didn’t understand. She wasn’t sure she could make him understand. It wasn’t just a nightmare —Yes, it is, she screamed at herself, but her instincts screamed louder, No, it isn’t! She waged an internal battle, but you couldn’t fight with the kind of instincts she had. It was useless. This was no normal nightmare, and she was right to be afraid. The best she could do was try to make Reid understand that; Maybe he’d be more careful, maybe he wouldn’t go out alone again.
“Reid,” she met his eyes, trying to blink away her tears, “I don’t think this is just a nightmare. I really don’t. I-I’ve got this horrible feeling…and last night, I tried to change the nightmare, stop them from…stop what happens. All I did was change how they took you away from me. They dragged you away and I couldn’t stop them…I couldn’t do anything. In the nightmare, I’m as human as anyone else. I don’t have my ability or compulsion or super-senses. You can’t imagine how it feels it be thrown into that kind of weakness at the worst possible time. What would you do if you were helpless to stop someone killing me? How would you feel? Nightmare or not, I’m not taking any chances on this one. I can’t. Reid, please, you’ve got to understand. Just…please believe me on this. It isn’t just a nightmare and I can’t…I won’t lose you,” she choked, pleading with him.
But she already saw that he couldn’t believe her. Not this time. He couldn’t understand because he didn’t feel the nightmare like she did. He couldn’t imagine it, because he had no idea what being human felt like. How horribly fragile it was.
“Ember…Think about it. You said you’re human in the nightmare. Well, that can’t happen. You can’t reverse the power you have. You’ll never be human again, you won’t ever be that vulnerable. And no amount of creepy, faceless members of The Society are going to take me. Why can’t you see that I’m stronger than you think? Ember, I can take on a dozen, two dozen humans single-handedly if I have to. You probably don’t realise how much power I have because you’re only half-vampire. But trust me, I can handle any trouble I get in.” He was trying to reassure her, but he was only making her angry now. He didn’t get it! Why couldn’t he just agree and try to avoid trouble in the first place!
“Can’t you just promise not to leave the house by yourself? Be extra careful on perimeter sweeps? Please!” she begged desperately, pushing away the anger. She couldn’t afford to get angry at him right now.
But he was shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Emz, but I can’t promise that. I’m not going to hide out in the house and be looking over my shoulder when I don’t need to. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. Watching my own back means I won’t be watching Ricky’s on sweeps, and I’d rather it be my head than his,” Reid said firmly, making it clear he was done with the conversation.
Ember was far from done, though. “Why do you have to make everything difficult? Do you even realise how unreasonable you sound? I’m only asking you not to be reckless for once in your life! You can’t even promise me that! I’m telling you all this for your own freaking safety, whether or not your ego wants to admit that you could, just possibly, be less than indestructible!” Her anger won out over her desperation, and she felt a rush of bubbling acid boil up in her chest. It was that insane, uncontrollable fury that she knew was so dangerous, but she couldn’t stop it. She wanted to hit him, wanted to scream at him until she turned blue. As it was, it was all she could do to keep her teeth locked together and her fists by her sides. She could see Reid getting angry again, too.
“Ember, for God’s sake, it’s a nightmare! Little kids stop being afraid of them at nine years old! You sound ridiculous! Sorry if I can’t take a bad dream as a serious death threat!” he hissed, eyes flashing.
“God, you’re so damned stubborn! You won’t believe you’re not invincible until you’ve got a stake through your heart! What does it take for you to get it? I
’m not kidding here, Reid!” she yelled back, her fangs popping out and slicing her lower lip. The blood only added fuel to the raging fire in her veins.
“You know what, this is stupid! We’re arguing over nothing, you realise that right? I’m sick of arguing with you!” Reid snapped.
“Well, if you’re so bloody sick of it, maybe you should go back to Acorn Hills and get away from me!” Ember spat back, her fury making the reckless words crackle on her lips. But the instant the words were out, she regretted them, because Reid’s face went suddenly, painfully blank. All anger was wiped away like a cloth passed over a spill, except for the dying ashes of fire and hurt in his cold eyes.
When he spoke again, Ember tried very hard not to flinch at the coldness in his voice. “Maybe I should.”
Three words. Just three words, but they left Ember blinking back more stupid tears as he spun on his heel and walked away into the trees.
***
Sherry awoke at nearly a quarter to eleven, and dressed hastily. She wanted to get to training with Ember. She had to show Ember what she’d learned to do last night. It had come out of nowhere, but somehow, her magic had just burst from her hands and formed tiny ice crystals, and with the slightest guidance, she could shape them into orbs. Like Ember’s fire. It was the coolest thing ever, and she wondered if Ember had seen her throwing the orbs last night. She hoped so. But still, she wanted to train some more.
When she found Ember, however, she was deflated. Ember was sitting in the park on her own, swinging listlessly, and even from a distance, Sherry could tell she’d been crying. Wondering what had her best friend so upset, Sherry walked over and sat down in the swing next to Ember’s. Ember didn’t look at her, but turned her head away instead. Ah. This was very bad. Ember didn’t want to be seen crying, which meant she’d been crying a lot.
Tentatively, Sherry tried to coax a response from her friend. “Ember, what’s wrong?” she asked quietly.
Ember didn’t answer, just shook her head.
Sherry felt a little piece of her ache for her best friend. She hated seeing Ember upset. She hated it more when Ember was too upset to talk to her. “Come on, Emz. I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” she said gently, reaching out to touch Ember’s arm. She felt the other girl tense, and then relax, sniffling.
Slowly, Ember turned to her, and Sherry saw the extent of the damage; Ember’s eyes and nose were red, her cheeks were stained with tear tracks, and her lashes were clinging together wetly. “It’s Reid,” she whimpered.
Sherry was instantly on high alert; Boyfriend troubles had become numero uno on the priority list lately. And whatever had happened between Ember and Reid must’ve been pretty bad for her to look like this over it.
“What happened?” she asked softly, rubbing Ember’s arm soothingly, knowing it wouldn’t do a scrap of good, but needing to do it anyway.
It took Ember a moment to form words through her trembling lips, another tear escaping and slipping down her face. It was so cold out, Sherry was surprised it didn’t freeze on her cheek. “We had another argument and he…he left. I don’t know where he went, but…my nightmare…” Ember shook her head, “It was different last night. I changed it. I got rid of the helpless feeling, but, and Reid didn’t die, but…they took him this time. Sherry, they took him away to God knows where! They could torture him!” Ember’s voice shot up three octaves, and her eyes shimmered with a kind of fear that startled Sherry. The girl was really terrified.
Sherry got off her swing and put her arms around the smaller girl. “Ember, Shh, it’s okay. Shh. It won’t happen. Ember, it won’t happen. Reid will be fine. He’s probably just gone for a walk, and he’ll be back soon. Nobody’s going to get him. They won’t take him, Emz, they won’t. Reid is the craziest, most reckless son of a bitch on the planet, and yet, he’s still alive. What does that tell you? Maybe Reid has his own guardian angel, huh?” Sherry stroked her friend’s hair and, as she’d intended, Ember gave a weak snort of humour.
“I think any protection Reid has comes from the other direction,” Ember muttered, and Sherry let her go, stepping back. Ember wiped her eyes with her sleeve, looking bedraggled and cold, but a little better without the tears on her face.
“That’s probably true. Do you suppose the devil himself has a deal with Reid? I wouldn’t be surprised. The boy is practically Lucifer himself,” Sherry commented dryly and Ember snickered.
“You mean because he’s evil with an angelic face? Yeah, I think it’s a safe bet he’s got some demon deal going on.” She sniffled, tucking her hair behind her ears.
Sherry grinned. She always knew just how to make Ember smile, and it always made her feel a little better about herself when she did.
With a sigh, Ember turned her face up to Sherry and smiled gently. “Thanks. I kind of needed that hug,” she said quietly.
Sherry just smiled back. “What’re friends for?” She winked and Ember made a sound almost like a laugh.
“Apparently for diffusing tear-bombs and nervous breakdowns.” Ah, there was Ember’s usual humour.
Sherry laughed and helped Ember out of her swing. Feeling rather like she’d accomplished something, and with her enthusiasm renewing, Sherry grinned. “I think I know what might take your mind off your grievous guy. Want to watch me throw magical ice cubes at the fox in the back garden?”
At that, Ember laughed and nodded. “Definitely.”
So, for the next hour or so, Ember sat and watched while Sherry tapped into her magic and practiced with it by aiming magic snowballs at Hiro —he didn’t appreciate the attack, but it was pretty damn funny.
***
Hours later, Ember was staring miserably out the window from her bedraggled position sprawled in her armchair. It was dark out now, purple clouds drifting lazily across the sky, occasionally dropping handfuls of new snow like glitter in the moonlight. Wind whipped motes of light, fluffy flakes into sparkling twisters. The living room was toasty, the fire crackling cheerily, but Ember felt cold inside.
“He will come back, you know,” a voice said softly from behind her.
She tipped her head back to look at Ricky, frowning. “How did you know he—” she began to ask, but Ricky just waved dismissively, and smiled gently.
“I know Reid. He only disappears for long periods of time if he’s really upset or really pissed off, and only you can provoke such strong reactions in him.”
Ember sighed and tilted her head down again, returning her gaze to the frosty window.
Ricky moved to sit in the other armchair. “Like I said, he’ll come back. No matter how bad the argument was —and judging from your face, it was pretty bad. But, he still loves you. He just needs to cool off. Plus, it’s not like he can really go anywhere else,” Ricky added lightly.
Ember felt a twinge of guilt, joining the fear and worry on her face. Ricky must’ve noticed the change in her expression because he leaned forward intently, eyes narrowed. She didn’t look at him. He didn’t know. Didn’t know that in trying to keep him safe, Ember had pushed Reid into danger. God only knew where he was now. She could only hope he was okay.
Ricky kept watching her, and finally said cautiously, questioningly. “Ember?”
Now she dropped her gaze from the window and glanced at Ricky before settling her stare on her knees. Her eyes prickled and she fought the urge to cry. Again. Jeez, she’d turned into such a cry-baby. Ricky’s eyes were very deep and very bright, like layers of coloured glass. His expression was both curious and gentle.
With a guilty sigh, Ember told him quietly, “I said if he was so sick of arguing with me, he should go back to Acorn Hills. And he agreed. So I-I don’t know if…if he…” She felt her lip tremble, and turned her head away, setting her jaw stubbornly. I will not cry again, she told herself firmly.
Ricky was looking at her with empathetic eyes. “You don’t honestly think he’d go back, do you?” Ricky asked kindly, obviously unconcerned.
The funny thin
g was, Ember would be less upset if she thought he really had gone back to Acorn Hills. At least he’d be safe there. But Ricky was right. Reid loved her too much to leave her here when she was still in danger. He’d come back…if he could. But rather than explaining that to Ricky, she lied.
“Yes. No. I-I don’t know. Maybe…” Hopefully. She shook her head. “I just have this really bad feeling.” That, though, was the truth.
For a moment, Ricky’s eyes darkened and he looked sharp and serious, but then he shook his head and smiled weakly.
“I’m sure he’ll be back by morning, begging for forgiveness.”
Ember snorted despite herself. “Yeah, right. Since when does Reid beg for anything?” she smiled, but it was forced.
With a grin, Ricky got to his feet. “Yeah, I guess. Well, you look tired. You should go to bed. In the morning, everything will be okay,” he said. But something in the way he said it, in the way he turned away from her as he spoke, made Ember think he didn’t really believe it either.
Exhausted by her worry and despair, Ember went to bed early as Ricky had suggested. But once she was curled under the duvet in the dark room, she found the empty space next to her seemed to stretch out coldly under her fingers. As hard as she tried to convince herself Reid was okay, that she’d wake up in the morning next to a warm, solid body rather than empty space, her mind whispered to her that she knew better than to be so naïve.
It took her a long time to finally fall asleep, but, as she’d known would happen, she fell almost instantly into her dark, sickening nightmare.
***
The second she was plunged into the nightmare, she knew something was different. This wasn’t the nightmare she’d grown used to.
Now, instead of an untouched layer of clean, white snow covering the park, there was a mess of churned ice and spilled blood and savaged bodies. The scene was what the remains of the battle with The Society would’ve looked like if Raphael hadn’t cleaned it all up.
