A Heart So Fierce and Broken

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A Heart So Fierce and Broken Page 25

by Brigid Kemmerer


  The captain’s lip curls in distaste, but he says, “That is so.” He looks back at me. “Your Highness? A carriage awaits.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  LIA MARA

  Clanna Sun, Mother’s chief adviser, arrives at the guard station from the palace so quickly I think she must have galloped the entire way. She is an older woman, a former army general, with thick gray hair and a permanent limp from an old injury. Her face, however, almost always bears a tight smile, as if she’s seen the worst things the world could offer, and she chooses to be in a good mood anyway. She has always treated me with dignity and respect, and I have always enjoyed our studies together.

  She seems overjoyed to see me. Her face breaks into a wide smile, and she draws me into an embrace. “My dear, you have surprised everyone.”

  The words are a compliment and an insult woven together so neatly that I doubt Clanna Sun has realized the implication. She all but hauls me out of the guard station and into a carriage.

  “But—but the others—” I protest.

  “They are being well cared for. Your mother has insisted upon it.” Clanna Sun gazes at me with something like bemused wonder on her face. “You have brought us the heir to Emberfall, Lia Mara. However did you do it?”

  Warmth crawls up my cheeks, but I straighten my back. My heart is thrilling to see the glimpses of home outside the carriage window. “Prince Rhen tried to kill him. I offered Grey—” I catch myself. “I offered Prince Grey sanctuary beyond our borders, and he quickly agreed.”

  “As well he should.” She clasps her hands beneath her chin. “Ah, yes. Lia Mara, this is cause for celebration indeed. When we heard of your little plan to attempt peace negotiations, we were all worried you’d never be heard from again.”

  That overshadows any praise. “Well, you did.”

  “Yes, yes.” Her eyes glitter. “Tell me: Is Prince Grey prepared to make an assault on the throne? To claim it for himself?”

  An assault on the throne. I swallow. “I believe it is a bit early to make assumptions.”

  She frowns but quickly covers it up. She fills the rest of the carriage ride with questions about Emberfall, about Grey, about that evil imposter sitting on the throne.

  I long for the quiet escape of my room. My hair has dried into clumps, and I am desperate for fresh clothes. The warm bath in Blind Hollow seems like it happened a month ago.

  When we reach the Crystal Palace, a wave of homesickness hits me so hard that I want to fling the carriage door open and sprint up the steps. The thousand windows of the front wall glimmer even in the cloudiest weather, and the two front fountains splash merrily. I can be calm and demure, befitting my station, but I cannot keep the broad smile off my face.

  But then I see Nolla Verin standing at the top of the steps, her hands pressed together under her chin, and I throw the carriage door open to run.

  Her ebony hair is long and unbound, reaching her waist, and her eyes are wide with relief and excitement. She looks younger than I remember, like a young maiden, not like the princess set to inherit our mother’s throne.

  The instant I get to the top, I wrap her up in my arms and swing her around.

  “I missed you so very much,” I say.

  “And I you.” Her slim arms are tight on my shoulders, and even when I stop swinging her, she holds tight. “After our spies reported what happened to Sorra … then, that you had escaped … I was so worried, Sister.”

  I draw back. “You know about Sorra?”

  “Of course.”

  I glance up at the glass front of the palace, searching the faces of the guards stationed there. Many are familiar, but Parrish is not among them.

  “Does Parrish know?” I ask quietly.

  Her eyebrows knit together into a frown. “I am certain all the guardsmen know.”

  “I must see him. I must explain—”

  “You have been gone for weeks, and you wish to see a guardsman? No, Sister. Do not be foolish.” She pulls at my ragged clothing and makes a face. “Indeed the first person you should seek is a clothier.” Her nose wrinkles. “Or perhaps a bucket of hot water.”

  I swat her on the arm, but she catches my hand and tows me toward the castle. Footmen draw the large crystal doors open as we advance.

  “Come,” she says. “You are the hero of the day, but we have much to accomplish.”

  “We do? I just arrived!”

  “Oh yes.” Her lovely eyes flash with intrigue. “Tell me everything. I wish to know all about this man I am to charm.”

  Hours later, I’m lacing a wide belt into place over black silk robes shot with threads of silver and green. My skin is freshly scrubbed, my hair washed and brushed until it hangs in a shiny auburn curtain down my back.

  I rarely bother with any kind of cosmetics, but for the first time, I allow my attendants to trace my eyes with kohl and dab a bit of pink on my cheeks. Days of travel in the summer sunlight have brought out color in my face, and a new smattering of freckles cross the bridge of my nose.

  “There.” Nolla Verin claps from where she reclines on a chaise lounge. “My sister no longer looks like a gutter-sweep.”

  I make a face at her.

  She, of course, looks lovely as always, eyes shining, a bit of glitter sparkling along her eyelids. Her robes are white with red stitching, her corseted belt bloodred. Her expression is cool and calculating, and I know she is already plotting how to “woo and charm” Grey.

  The thought makes me turn back to my mirror. Even with a small amount of kohl and cream, I hardly recognize myself. I do not know why I bothered with any of it. I want to ask my attendants for wet cloths to wipe it all off.

  “Mother will be here soon,” says Nolla Verin. “She will want us to meet with the prince in the throne room.”

  Of course she will. I have learned that Grey and the others have been quietly brought to the palace and are receiving the same pampering that I have. Likely more. Mother will spare nothing to win his favor.

  Nolla Verin sits up on the chaise. “Lia Mara.”

  Something in her voice makes me turn. “What?”

  “You have said little about your time since escaping from Prince Rhen.”

  I look back at the mirror, then away, because I do not want to see my simple face, my eyes so filled with longing. Instead, I move to the window. The sun is beginning to break through the clouds, bringing a sheen to the city. In Emberfall, the castle was surrounded by acres of grass and forest, natural barriers between Rhen and his people. Here, our palace is built into the side of the mountain, and beyond the stables and training fields, we can look out on the Crystal City. Our people can look up and see their queen.

  Nolla Verin appears at my side. Her hand slips over mine. Her voice is very quiet. “Sister.”

  I glance at her, surprised at the emotion in her voice. “Yes?”

  “Did he … abuse you?”

  “What? No!”

  “Are you certain? Because you seem very different.” Her voice heats with anger. “If he laid a hand on you in violence, I will carve every bone from his body, then fill every orifice with them—”

  “Nolla Verin! Must you be so graphic?”

  “I am making a vow. I will do it bare-handed.”

  “Well, I will thank you to stop turning my stomach.” I make another face, this one nearly involuntary. “He never harmed me. Quite the opposite.”

  She flops back onto the chaise lounge. “Then tell me. Tell me about this Prince Grey.”

  Prince Grey. It is only the second time I have heard him referred to as Prince Grey, and both times my heart has fluttered. I think of the way he faced Captain Sen Domo, and I want to press a hand to my chest.

  I keep my eyes on the window and my hands on the sill. I have no idea what to share about him.

  He is gentle. He is kind.

  No. Either of those would put him at a disadvantage with my vicious sister.

  Both of those feel like secrets shared only with me. T
o everyone else, Grey is stoic and fierce.

  He is honest and brave and loyal. He guarded my door when I was afraid to close my eyes. He is strong and sure, and he makes me feel strong and sure. He has dark eyes and careful hands, and I could listen to him speak all night long.

  I swallow back tears. “He is very handsome?” I offer.

  My sister says nothing.

  I say nothing.

  I wish I knew what expression was on her face, if she has figured me out, and if she has, what she is thinking. A breeze sweeps through the window to cool my cheeks.

  All of a sudden, I want to lock my doors and hide in my room with my books and my pillows and my privacy. I do not want to watch whatever is going to happen between Grey and my sister.

  Between Prince Grey and my sister.

  I bite at my lip and try to breathe through the ache in my chest.

  My doors sweep open, and a trumpet blares. The guard announces, “The Queen of Syhl Shallow, the highly esteemed Karis Luran.”

  I whirl without meaning to, as though I have been caught at something.

  My mother looks exactly the same as I remember, but I know better than to sweep her up in my arms like I did with my sister. My mother will quite certainly not do that to me, especially not in front of a dozen advisers and attendants.

  That said, her expression is warmer than I can remember in recent memory.

  “My clever daughter,” she says, holding out a hand.

  Ah, so we are standing on ceremony. I should have guessed when the trumpet announced her. I cross the room, take her hand, and bow.

  She catches my chin and lifts my head before I can complete the movement. “We have much to discuss, you and I.”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  “I was quite distressed when you rode off in the middle of the night on a fool’s mission.” Her hand has not left my chin. “I thought we might need to retire calling you clever at all. Luckily you seem to have redeemed yourself.”

  Perhaps I should have met with my mother before my sister. All my familiar defenses clink back into place, like forged steel. Trudging across Emberfall was difficult and exhausting, but never so much as this. I am already tired. “Thank you.”

  “Indeed,” she says, “you should have known that man would attempt to use you against me. I am relieved you were able to escape, but I hope this little lesson did not go unlearned?”

  My blood ices over, as if the Frozen River itself runs through my veins. My heart pumps twice as hard. “You … knew? You knew he had imprisoned me?”

  “For certain, dear daughter. For certain.” She lets go of my chin. “I would like for you to join us in the throne room as I discuss the terms with our new young ally.”

  He may not ally with you. He does not want any of this.

  But, like the words I could not say to my sister, these are words I cannot say to my mother.

  I close my mouth, steel my spine, and follow her into the hall.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  GREY

  I am no stranger to finery and elegance. In Emberfall, Ironrose Castle is filled with marble and polished wood. Here, Karis Luran’s palace is lined with crystal and stone, with glass everywhere. The clothes we are given are of the highest quality: brushed calfskin leggings, polished black boots with leather laces, tunics and jackets lined with silk and edged with brocade. Instead of green and black adorning the garments, which I expected, everything is trimmed in gold and red, the colors of Emberfall.

  Our weapons have been returned to us, and while it’s made to look like a show of trust, I know it’s not. We are heavily outmanned here in the palace. We will be watched wherever we go.

  I would give anything for the black uniform from my days in the Royal Guard, to have knife-lined bracers on my forearms and armor at my back. I would give anything to be invisible once again. In this fancy room with a glass wall looking out over a glass city, I feel like a beast in a cage. Noah, Jake, and Tycho all watch me. Waiting.

  Waiting on me.

  My heart is a steady thrum in my chest. I don’t know how to do this.

  This is different from when we were in the woods. Different from when I’d tell Tycho what horses to pull for the tourney. Different from when I was a guardsman.

  As commander, I could give orders almost without thought. I know where to position guards, how to survey a crowd, how to determine who might hide a weapon or who might deserve greater scrutiny.

  Lia Mara would know how to proceed. She was raised to be a queen—and it was stripped from her. As Prince Grey, I have been thrust into a role for which I am wholly unprepared.

  Much like Harper, I realize. She stepped into the role of princess as if she’d been born to it. She made a good match for Rhen, relying on her wits instead of a lifetime of preparation.

  Rhen always planned his moves out in advance. He was never comfortable thinking on his feet. But Harper was. She was often reckless and unconventional in her methods, but she would make a decision and act on it without hesitation.

  I can do that, too. Guardsmen never have the luxury of advance notice.

  I look at the others. “Karis Luran wants to use me against Prince Rhen. That is the only leverage we have here.” I pause. “It is very little. Despite what happened in Blind Hollow, Rhen has been the crown prince since I was a child. His people know him. He rallied them once. Despite what is happening in Emberfall, he can rally them again. I have little doubt.”

  “He rallied them based on an alliance with Disi,” says Jake. “And there is no alliance.”

  “That’s going to break some major trust,” says Noah. “The people already suspect something is amiss.”

  I glance at him. “Yes. There are no armies—and Karis Luran knows this.”

  “You have magic,” Tycho says softly.

  I flex my hand and look at my fingers. “But I have no armies. No crown. I have magic in my blood, but so far I have little talent for using it.”

  “I don’t think saving the lives of a dozen people counts as little talent,” says Noah.

  “Karis Luran will not be impressed by the preservation of lives. She knows I was not raised as royalty. She knows I was a guardsman. She will expect me to yield and obey. She expects to use me as a pawn against Emberfall.” I stop to collect my thoughts. “If I refuse to play along, she could refuse to offer sanctuary. Worse, she could hand us over to Rhen.”

  “Well,” Noah drawls, “I don’t think it’s as bleak as all that.” I look at him, and he runs a hand across his jaw. “Well, Rhen won’t work with her. He wouldn’t negotiate with Lia Mara, and he was ready to kill you. I don’t know that he’d leap into an alliance at this point—and she wouldn’t have been seeking one if she didn’t need it badly. And no matter how he feels about Harper, he’s definitely not going to risk his kingdom for Jake’s life. We’re not as powerless as you think we are.”

  I glance away. “Perhaps not. But I have no followers. I have no … no subjects. Parts of Emberfall may be rebelling against Prince Rhen, but some parts will not. He may not be able to raise a full army, but he has subjects who are sworn to him. Who will fight for him.”

  Tycho leaves his spot by the wall. He draws his sword.

  “What are you doing?” I say.

  He stops in front of me and, without hesitation, drops to one knee.

  “Tycho,” I say, my voice ragged. “Stop.”

  He lays the sword on the stone floor, then presses his hands together in front of his face. His eyes are intent and earnest. No uncertainty exists in his expression—only calm determination. “I swear fealty to you, Prince Grey of Emberfall. I swear my heart and my hands and my home, in service to you and in service to the throne. I swear my—I swear to be—” He stumbles over his words and looks aggrieved. “I forget the rest of what I’m supposed to say. But I swear to you.” He swallows, and his expression is an echo of the look on his face when I said I had asked Jake to ride at my side, but he does not falter. “I know I’m just
one person, but I will follow you. I will fight for you. I swear to you.”

  I should grab his arms, drag him off his knees, and remind him that this is treason. But as I stare down at him, emotion becomes a weight in my chest that will not lighten. This stopped being treason the moment Rhen strung up an innocent boy beside me in that courtyard. My heart has known it all along. My thoughts just needed to catch up.

  Tycho is one person, but for so long, that’s all Rhen had, too. I glance at Jake and Noah. I’m not alone here.

  “Pick up your sword,” I say to Tycho, and my voice is still rough. “Lay it across your hands. If you will swear, do it as a warrior.”

  Guards escort us to the throne room, led by Captain Sen Domo. Sunlight and warmth fill the space, and the windows facing the city must be fifty feet high. I have never seen such panes of glass. The back wall of the throne room is the solid rock of the mountain, deep reds and soft browns shot through with streaks of black and silver and gold. After growing up on a poor farm, Ironrose Castle left me as awestruck as Tycho when I first beheld it, but this is something different entirely. Torches have been set deep into the granite walls, flickering every few feet. A raised dais sits along the stone wall, with two thrones carved from onyx stretching high above their occupants. Guards are everywhere, but the four surrounding the dais are clad differently, their faces half-veiled in steel to make them androgynous, their weapons lighter and less obvious. The Royal Guard of Syhl Shallow.

  Karis Luran sits atop the larger of the two thrones, her red hair framing a severe face of sharp cheekbones and cream-colored skin. She does not smile. To her left must be Nolla Verin, and I can see why Lia Mara spoke so highly of her sister’s beauty. The girl is younger than I expected, her jet-black hair twisting in a shiny mass to pool beside her on the throne. Her skin is smooth and pale and perfect, with a pink curve of a mouth and eyes so light a brown that they appear gold.

  Eyes that are not warm at all, but are instead calculating, conniving, and cold.

 

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