by Rowan Massey
The guy nodded and went out of sight.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“He works for me as security. He was kind enough to help me get the three of you here.”
“I was wondering how you did that.” It was weird to think about strangers carrying me around when I didn’t know it.
Doc stepped outside and watched Spitz and Fiona with me.
“We wrangled them with some effort. Spitz was where you told me to look. He was easy to find. He was loud. We waited for the fielders to kick in, then we were able to guide him into the car on his own two feet. Getting him into the seat belt took two of us.”
I tried to picture Spitz dancing too much to get strapped down in the car and twisted my mouth to keep from smiling.
“Fiona was at the field, but we didn’t know that. I drove down the streets with the windows open, listening for her. I went in that direction because it made sense, but I didn’t know anything for sure. She was there, dancing along with all the other fielders who had shown up much earlier than usual. I thought the batch I gave you three was different enough from what I gave everyone else that you would effectively notice no difference. Apparently, I was completely wrong, and both batches were too dangerous to try out on anyone at all. I couldn’t have known how bad it would be, and telling you certain things would have compromised the integrity of my experiments. I’m so sorry, Wally…I’m sorry.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded slowly and let him keep talking.
“In any case, we debated leaving them both there, but I decided to bring them here and keep an eye on all of you.”
“Was Nando there?” I asked.
He turned to me and shook his head. “There was a different dealer there. Alone.”
“A new one?”
“Yes.”
I took a step away from him, then another, shoes dragging. My feet walked on their own, and I ended up at the far corner of the garden, hunched against the wall in the dark. I pulled Nando’s chain out of my shirt. He’d given it to me so I’d remember him, not just to make sure I was his. Now that was obvious.
Doc stayed outside. Just stood there with his hands in his pockets. He could have gone to bed and told that guy to keep an eye on us, but he stayed.
When Eric came out with a plate and bottle of water, Doc went inside. I felt a little sick thinking about Nando, but I wanted the taste of pizza sauce, just for a few seconds, to erase my thoughts. I crossed the garden again and took it from Eric.
“Thanks,” I said, when my mouth was full.
“No problem,” he said, but he looked at my friends and stared, looking like he didn’t approve. He turned and went back in.
“Your packs are in the clinic,” Doc said, stepping into the doorway. “Give Spitz and Fiona some pizza, and stay the night in the garden. And Wally, it’s a strange day. Things are still going strong by the river. Now and then, I’ve heard explosives. And…a new dealer doesn’t mean Nando’s dead. They might have left one man—who wasn’t useful for much else—to do a lot of dealing to keep users from dying. They need their users alive, especially fielders. It makes sense.”
“Because we’re tourist attractions,” I said. It was nice of him to say all that, but I didn’t know how much of it was realistic. I took a bite and sighed. “I liked having a boyfriend. I hope it’s not over yet.”
Spitz was back. His eyes met mine, and he seemed confused. I put my plate on the ground and hurried over. We met in the middle and hugged for a good long minute. His sweaty, dirty, homeless smell was the same smell I’d had up my nose every night for so many years. That smell was my life.
“I’m sorry, man,” Spitz said quietly in my ear. “What I said you should do…please tell me you didn’t. I’d rather die than hear that.”
“No way. I told you, the doc is nice. He saved us because he’s my friend.”
“Your friend?” His quiet laugh shook our bodies. “You make friends the hard way.”
I grinned, and my chin dug into his shoulder. Yeah, that was true. I knew Dr. Sardana didn’t see me as a friend exactly. But he’d called me son. I remembered that and knew it was real. And for some reason…I’d told him I loved him at some point. But I was back to normal, and I would think of him as a friend, and he could think what he wanted.
Spitz and I let each other go and both automatically looked over at Fiona, who was still at it.
“Look at how fucking amazing my girl is,” Spitz said, grinning like a big dope. Fiona stood still for a moment, head back and chest up, letting her arms float down to her sides. Maybe she was winding down a little. Spitz took a fast breath, like he might cry.
“Yeah, yeah. You want some pizza?” I asked.
His eyes went wide.
“Holy shit, Walls. You say that like it’s nothing. Just go score the fucking pizza. I’m starving.”
I grinned. “Right away, sir. You can eat that while I get some more.” I pointed at the plate I’d left on the ground. He took two strides, picked it up and started wolfing down my crust.
Ten minutes later, I was back outside with two more plates of pizza and some water in mugs. The first plate was on the concrete by the door. Spitz and Fiona were cuddling standing up.
“Order up!” I called, then wished I’d been quieter. Maybe Doc had decided to go to bed. If he hadn’t, he should. They took the plates from me, and I closed the door. I hadn’t been told anything about locking it, and I hadn’t seen or heard the doc inside.
We sat in a row across the doorway. I reached for the skinny slice off Spitz’s plate but a far-off boom made me jump, and I dropped it on the ground. I immediately picked it up and leaned into the dim light to pick grit out of it. Fiona made a face.
“Hey,” Spitz said to her, “you’re gonna learn not to be so picky.”
She shrugged and took a small bite of her own slice.
“I guess the docks are still at war. What do you think made us withdraw so bad?” she said.
Neither of us answered. From the corner of my eye, I could see Spitz trying to figure out what I was thinking. He went for changing the subject.
“You never gave me those details,” he said, elbowing me. “Let’s hear it. How kinky did it get?”
“I drew the line at being hung upside down from the ceiling in a sex swing.”
It was nice to hear them laugh in that old, silly way.
“I don’t even know what the point of that would be,” Spitz said, shaking his head. “Tell me for real.”
Fiona leaned forward, apparently interested too.
“Picture this,” I said, spreading my hands in front of me. “Bulging muscle and even bulginger crotches—”
“Oh fuck,” Spitz took a couple large bites to shut himself up.
“Oh fuck is right,” I agreed. “So shuttup and listen.”
I exaggerated as much as I could manage, and enjoyed making them laugh and choke up their food. But I left out the best things—honest and weird things. I told them it felt crazy the way he touched me like he was really into me, and that I hadn’t had anal with him, and really wanted to try it. When I was done, they were licking their fingers and smiling at me with identical smiles.
“What?” I laughed.
“Wally and Nando,” Fiona sang.
“Shittin’ in a tree,” Spitz teased.
“Jesus Christ, we’re nearly adultish, not five!” I complained.
They cracked up. After the worst night of our lives, I’d made them laugh. It was the best feeling.
I smelled smoke with an awful stench to it. Spitz and Fiona made faces at the same time I did.
“Tire fire?” I said.
“Yeah, there’s definitely some tire in there.” Spitz pulled his jacket up over his nose.
I took their plates and empty glasses, and took them inside. The lights were off except the ones in the clinic, where I washed the dishes, and the the ones in hall. Light spilled out for us to see by outside. I could hear them laughing out ther
e. I needed to tell them to be quiet and settle down for the night. I picked up all three of our back packs at once, with some effort. Spitz and Fiona took them from me when I went back out, and she started across the garden to lay out our blankets.
The keys were in the door. I thought about the way Doc had put me in charge of those phone calls with confidence I would figure it out on my own. I took the keys and locked the door when I went back outside. I would give them back when I came in for work, or I’d put them through the mail slot.
“Wally,” Fiona said, shaking out a dirty blanket, “you’re with us. I’m going to freeze to death tonight, I know it.”
“You’re the boss,” I said, and I had a feeling she would be in the future.
I helped lay down the biggest blanket, and we all got under the other two together. Fiona claimed the middle, with me at her back. I was a little disappointed not to have Spitz’s familiar body against mine. Maybe I was a little jealous. In any case, I had to get used to it. Before long, I’d probably get used to being this close to Fiona on colder nights and miss her when the weather was warmer.
“G’night guys,” I said, feeling the sleepiness as soon as my head hit my pack. They answered in unison. I heard it in a half-dream where it echoed warmly.
Chapter Eleven
The nauseating smoke must have lasted all night. I woke up with burning lungs and a headache. I was still sleepy and couldn’t make myself open my eyes. The smoke had gotten worse. Maybe they had added more tires or some garbage. Nando was out there breathing that even more than we were. If he was breathing at all.
I felt a gloved hand on my shoulder. I jerked away and my eyes popped open.
“It’s me.” Doc had a knit hat and gloves on along with a black jacket. He looked pretty badass, like a robber in a movie. His eyes weren’t red anymore. He’d rested up. “I sent a scout down there, and I think they’re wrapping it up. I don’t want you three around here when survivors come through the neighborhood.”
Spitz and Fiona woke up and sat up quickly. I didn’t blame them for the way they were looking at Dr. Sardana. He was towering over us, and like I said, he looked badass. How had he gotten more intimidating?
“Back out to the suburbs?” I asked.
“Probably a good idea. I’m going to drive you.”
“Oh,” Fiona said, nervously, “you don’t have to do that. We’re fine walking, but thank you.”
“I’m driving you. Get your things together and come out front to the car when you’re ready.” He turned and left us sitting in the dirt and weeds feeling bossed around.
The two of them were giving each other looks I couldn’t read. Maybe they wanted to run off, but they could get it out of their heads.
“Guys,” I said, “he’s feeding all of us with this job. If he wants to drive us, let’s hurry.”
Fiona started folding the blankets. Spitz followed her lead, and we had our stuff together in less than a minute. By the time we reached the SUV and opened its doors, I felt like I was suffocating in invisible smoke. The sky didn’t look any different because it was always smoke colored. I got in the front and coughed a little bit while I situated my pack between my feet.
“They’re burning a lab and god knows what else,” Doc said, backing the car out of the driveway. “If I’d smelled it earlier, I would have brought you inside. You can tell me these things, you know. You could have woken me up. How long was it burning?”
“Not long,” I lied, and glanced into the back at Spitz and Fiona to make sure they didn’t call me out. But the doc grunted and frowned. He didn’t believe me.
The sky was still in the middle of sunrise and the clock on the dash said it was barely past six. He was taking us away from the river, but did he want me back in time for work? I was afraid to ask, but probably not. He was probably ready for a break from me.
We drove in silence. I remembered that Spitz hadn’t been in a car like Doc’s in his life. I twisted around to look at him, and he grinned. He had to be dying to touch everything, but he was behaving himself.
I turned facing forward again and noticed we were near Nando’s.
“Hey Doc? Can you leave me here?” I asked.
“What?” Spitz said, leaning forward. “Are you going to meet us back around that same house?”
“Yeah, that works, right?” I said, and looked at Fiona. She didn’t respond, but looked a little pissed about splitting up.
Doc glanced over at me and hesitated before nodding yes. I put a hand on the handle and twisted my other hand in the strap of my pack. When the car stopped in front of the building I pointed out to Doc, Spitz grabbed my arm to stop me from jumping out.
“If he’s not there, come back to the car,” he said, looking at the doc, and the doc nodded again.
“Okay,” I said.
I pulled the handle and hurried to knock on the door. It opened faster than I’d expected, and Rydel was staring down at me, hair matted and flattened with blood and mud. Blood trickled down his arm to his fingertips. His clothes were caked in filth. His pants were torn all the way from the ankle to the knee. He was swaying back and forth, looking down at me with round eyes, from an ash-dusted face. He smelled like the fire mixed with a lot of sweat.
“Good,” he said. His voice had no emotion. “Reinforcements.”
His undamaged arm reached out the doorway, and his big hand took a fist full of my jacket. He pulled me inside. I tried to pull away.
“Wait! Is Nando here?”
“Yeah, that’s why I need you. I can’t fucking deal with his crazy ass. You need to watch him. If he starts doing insane bullshit, I can’t cope.”
I stuck my head out the door and waved. They were parked in a spot where they couldn’t have seen how bad Rydel looked. I wasn’t sure for a second if they would leave, but Doc slowly pulled back into the street, and I ducked inside.
“Where?” I asked, and Rydel flung a hand out towards Nando’s room as if to say obviously. He plopped himself down on a metal folding chair near the door and picked up a sawed-off shotgun. He was on guard duty.
“He’s giving me a break in two hours,” he said. “So tell him to get his head together.”
I didn’t answer. I didn’t ask what was wrong with Nando either. I just hurried down the hall and banged on his door, calling his name. The door was thrown all the way open, and Nando looked the way Rydel did, but no blood. His eyes blinked, but in a funny, on purpose sort of way, like he knew he was supposed to blink so he kept reminding himself.
I reached out and rubbed my hands down his dusty sleeves.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
He burst out laughing.
“Hurt? Hurt?” He flung his arms out in a macho gesture. “What? No, man, no!” He started bouncing on his toes. “You look hot. You wearing my necklace?”
He felt around my neck with clumsy hands and pulled it out to look at it.
“Heard you got jumped. Who did that? I can kill them for you. I really will.” He turned, leaned away from me, and picked up his handgun from the bed, checking how many bullets were in it. I dropped my pack on his floor.
“I don’t know who they were,” I lied. “Do you have any liquor?”
“You thirsty? I didn’t think you liked it.” He grabbed a bottle from under a crate and handed it to me. “Don’t you know what I did? Fucked ’em up. I was fucking people up! They really trust me to take care of shit. I had grenades. Oh god, you ever see a guy get blown up? Insane! I just felt like…like wow-wow-wow-wow.” He said it with the gun in his hands, pretending each wow had recoil.
I unscrewed the lid of the bottle and held it up to his face, trying to get him to drink some and calm down. He snatched it from me and took two big gulps. He went past me into the hall and looked out the window. It didn’t look onto the street so it was pointless. Most of the back of his clothes was stiff with thick, dried mud.
“You see Rydel? Walking dead man. Poisoned. Good as dead. Poor guy. Seriously. Poor fucker. My
best friend too.” His voice was fast, words blurring together. If Rydel was poisoned, he didn’t sound sad about it.
“Poison?” I touched his damp neck and tried to calm him down by petting him like a puppy.
“Well, we got there, and you know, they did this thing. They bleed all these people who have nasty stuff in their blood. Sickies. All in a bowl. All those people’s blood in a bowl. Then we all dipped our knives in it. See? I’ll show you. Wait. Wanna show you this.” He took out his knife and held it up to my face, making me take in a careful breath and do my own blinking act. “Good guys and bad guys all have knives like this now. Anybody who gets cut up is dead now or later, one or the other. Only, I think they dipped theirs in shit! Can you believe that? Disgusting fuckers.”
He stopped talking, put his knife away, and was grabbing at my face and neck, pulling me in for a harsh kiss that jammed our teeth together. His tongue went too far into my mouth, pushing our lips into a painful stretch. I wondered if he was going to bite me. He was breathing like a mad dog, raking his fingers over my clothes. I managed to pull away from him a little.
“All that stuff is over,” I said. “You need to slow down.”
He barked a loud laugh in my face, making me flinch. He bent in half, unable to stop laughing. “Oh my god!” he said. “Oh man, you wouldn’t believe how much you just sounded like Rydel! He’s been fucking boring today!”
“Hey, why don’t we get in the shower?” I suggested. “We both smell like that lab burning up, or whatever.”
“You just want me all naked for you. You’re such a little whore, aren’t you.”
“Only for you,” I said, making a big effort to smile. I took his hand and squeezed it. “Put your gun and knife in your room, and let’s clean up. Okay? Yesterday was insane for me too. A nice hot shower sounds good.”
“Yeah?” He looked me up and down in the usual way. I pushed against his back with my hand, feeling a big damp spot of sweat and mud there, and got him into his room, where he dropped his knife and gun into a corner. The knife was in its sheath. I was glad.
“That’s how Rydel died. The dirty knives,” he said, but then bounced on his toes and groped my ass.
