by Anna Samuels
She smiled at me.
‘Anyway, I went to Uni at eighteen and started dating. I knew I was gay because I always felt attracted to women, even from a young age. My group of friends were quite liberal though, and we all became close. One of the guys, Darren, came on to me one night. I was pretty drunk, and can remember thinking I would do it for the experience. I wasn’t interested in sleeping with guys, but at that stage in my life, was thinking that doing everything once, and trying it, was a good idea. Anyway, it wasn’t. It put me off forever,’ she laughed. ‘It just wasn’t for me, at all!’ she chuckled.
‘But don’t tell me-got you pregnant?’ I questioned.
‘Yep! You guessed it. One time, one night-the only ever time I’ve slept with a man and my body manages to get pregnant! I was stunned. I was in my final year, thank God, and I managed to just finish my degree before I had him. That was really fortunate for me. Anyway, I moved home, back to Sunset Bay, and had Danny. He was a gorgeous little thing and always happy. I was so blessed and felt so fortunate to have him. Darren stayed in touch and has always been Dad to Danny-even if it’s fortnightly visits. When he was growing up, we tried to stay living close by to each other. It didn’t always work out, but Darren’s very good, and has made an effort to be a Dad to his first kid.’
‘He had more?’
‘Yeah,’ she nodded. ‘He went on to get married and has another boy and girl. They’re teenagers now. He’s a good Dad, to all three of them. We all catch up at birthday’s and Christmas. It’s a nice set up.’
‘And what about your relationships over the years? Did you see women while you were bringing Danny up?’
She sighed. ‘Not while he was young, no. I didn’t have relationships for quite a while, at least in the first five years before he started school. Once he was in school, I began casually dating, but I never let myself introduce him to women. I didn’t trust that they’d stick around…. but then I met Laurie.’
‘The woman who you’ve just broken up with?’ I questioned.
‘Yeah…Danny was about…eight when I met her. She was everything I was looking for and it all was going so well that we reached the point that it wasn’t just a fling, it was definitely a relationship. I introduced Danny to her and they liked each other so it went from strength to strength. She moved in and we became engaged and looked forwards to a future together. The first five years were amazing…I can’t fault them. It was after that that everything changed. I don’t know what happened with her, or if it was simply meeting the man she went off with-but everything became harder. We’d argue, fight and home became a war zone. She became disinterested in me and bitter. It wasn’t a fun atmosphere…but I persisted, hoping it would change.’
‘And she didn’t tell you that she’d met anyone?’
‘No. I never even suspected a thing. At least, not a man! There were times when it crossed my mind that maybe she’d met another woman at work or something, but never a guy. I didn’t think she liked them, at all.’
‘So, how did it all come to a head? Why, after so many years of concealing it, did she finally admit her cheating?’
Seren dropped her gaze. ‘She got pregnant…’ she said, sadly. ‘There reached the point when she couldn’t not tell me. She had to…she broke my heart, but what was worse, she hurt Danny-and I’ll never forgive her for that.’
I shook my head. ‘No…that’s awful. I mean, why not just walk away sooner-rather than all the cheating. That’s what I don’t understand.’
‘I know. It’s such an unfair way to treat someone. I’ve never cheated on anyone. I would always finish with someone first. I don’t understand how other people don’t think like that.’
‘I know. I’m the same. As I grew up with a Mum who had been left by a cheating husband, I always swore I would not cheat on my partner-and never have. But to have it done to you…it’s just…awful,’ I murmured, softly.
She nodded. ‘Which takes me up to now…I was just getting over the loss of Laurie when my Dad suddenly died. It was like being hit by a ton of bricks. First Laurie’s news…and then Dad. It knocked me for six. I responded by throwing myself into helping Mum here. I left the house and came down here and have been helping ever since. It’s kind of helped to distract myself, but it’s still all there…beneath the surface.’
‘Of course it is,’ I murmured, reaching for her hand to squeeze it gently. ‘And I’m here if you ever need me for support.’
She smiled at me, a soft look of thanks in her eyes. I held her gaze and realised that during the short time I had known her, I already felt so attached to her.
Chapter 6
‘Thanks, Abby. I really appreciate the support.’
‘Of course,’ I told her. ‘Anything you need,’ I offered.
‘You know, Abby, the last thing I wanted or expected was to meet someone right in the midst of all this, but even though it may not have been what I planned…I can’t say I’m not glad this has happened.’
‘Me too,’ I murmured. ‘Although, I guess we need to be realistic about everything,’ I said, slowly. ‘I mean; I live three hours away from here…’
She nodded. ‘I know you do,’ she said softly. ‘Which is a shame…’
I smiled at her. ‘I’m not saying we wouldn’t see each other after this,’ I continued, quietly, ‘but it would be very…long distance.’
‘It would,’ she said, looking out to sea. ‘And let’s face it; I’m going to be busy as hell if I take over that place,’ she said, nodding her head towards where the hotel stood across the bay, proudly situated on the clifftop.
‘You will be. And I’ll be back at work, I guess.’
‘You guess?’ she said, speaking curiously.
I sighed. ‘Well, the events of the past two weeks have got me re-thinking the future.’
‘In what way?’
‘I just…I don’t know if I want to do it anymore. The business…’ I complained. ‘It monopolises everything. I’m always working, I’m so busy. I hardly have time to breathe.’
‘Isn’t it your business though? Can’t you choose how much you do?’
‘I can, but I let things get away with themselves,’ I told her. ‘I get too focused on everything and want to succeed all the time. The trouble is, since falling ill, my perspective has changed. Take Ella, for example. I haven’t barely seen her in months. She’s so busy with friends and her boyfriend and I’m all caught up with work and my break-up. We barely talk. I don’t know that I know my own daughter that well these days. It’s a few months till she’s gone to Uni and I just…feel like I’m losing her, I guess.’
‘I know what you mean. I think it’s hard for any mother when your children leave the nest. I’m feeling it with Danny about to go…it’s another loss.’
I nodded, appreciating the support of someone who knew what it felt like.
‘Could you…take a step back from work for the summer months?’ she said then. ‘Spend the time with your daughter that you’re craving? Maybe that would make you feel better about September when she leaves for Uni.’
‘Maybe…’ I replied. ‘But I feel…I don’t know…duty bound by commitment. I feel like I should keep going with the houses I said I’d sell.’
‘But it was making you ill, honey. Surely that’s a wakeup call.’
‘It was, yes,’ I replied. ‘But it doesn’t stop my natural instincts. They’re calling me back, all the time…it’s like a voice in my head saying work, work, work!’
She nodded. ‘I get it. It’s not easy…but put the priorities in order. What matters more? Work or family?’
‘Family,’ I answered, immediately.
‘Then there you go. That’s your answer. Your instinct maybe to go back to work, but perhaps you shouldn’t.’
I nodded, thinking.
‘Do you enjoy it?’ she asked then, surprising me.
‘Enjoy it?’ I responded. ‘No…I can’t say I do anymore. It’s too stressful.’
‘Why d
on’t you do something else instead then?’ she asked.
‘Because it’s not just that easy. I’m good at what I do, and to change that would be hard.’
‘But you might be happier…’
‘Perhaps. Who’s to know. I think I need to do some soul searching about it all and see what I come up with.’
She nodded, moving her gaze back to the view. ‘Sometimes fate has a way of stepping in, anyway,’ she murmured. ‘Like with me. I was at a strange point and then suddenly, through circumstance, I’m back here-and I believe I’m meant to be. Things happen for a reason. We might not always like them, it may not always be easy, but I’m sure fate plays a hand in all of our lives.’
I sighed, staring out at the calm sea as well. ‘I think you’re right. I’ll take a helping hand in any area right now.’
‘It’ll be okay, Abby. The bad times never last.’
I smiled over at her. Seren met my gaze and smiled back at me.
We sat there watching the sea for some time. It was so peaceful that there wasn’t even the need to talk or chat all the time. The beauty of nature was captivating itself.
‘I suppose I should head back soon,’ Seren said after a while, breaking my gentle reverie.
‘Oh really? Are you working?’ I asked.
‘Not until later on, for dinner but I said I’d pop by to Mum’s and check in on her. Maybe we could have dinner later and then do something after that…’ she suggested.
‘What were you thinking?’ I wondered.
‘Well, what do you like doing in the evening when you’re at home? How do you relax?’
I laughed. ‘I don’t! I work in the evenings,’ I chuckled.
‘Oh my!’ she exclaimed. ‘Boring! Surely you must do something for pleasure? Read? Watch TV? Eat junk food?’
I smiled at her, warmly. ‘I haven’t done any of those things in years. I don’t have the time to read, I look at my laptop and work stuff rather than watch much TV and I try and keep myself healthy so have cut the junk out for years now.’
She gaped at me. ‘Oh, Abby…’ she exclaimed, dramatically.
‘What?’ I questioned, laughing at her expression.
‘This is not going to work then! You’re not living!’ she joked. ‘Right-tell you what-we’re going to right this wrong later. After work, I’ll show you what you’ve been missing, alright?’
‘Okay then,’ I smiled.
‘Unbelievable!’ she said again, shaking her head. ‘We’re going to teach you how to relax a little! Lighten up a little…’
‘I sure need it,’ I told her, sighing and standing as she did, following her down the path across the headland. ‘You know, Seren, I wasn’t always like this,’ I told her, as we walked side by side.
‘You weren’t?’
‘No. Not at all. Before I owned my business I used to do the things you were talking about. I’d spend time reading and chilling out at home. I don’t know why I stopped really. Life just got in the way…I’m pretty sure it was the job…’
‘You think?’
‘Yeah…well, or being with my ex! She always encouraged me to work as hard as possible-make something of the business. What I didn’t understand back then was that she was saying that because she wanted the money I earned!’
‘Yeah exactly! She was sponging off you! Despicable behaviour.’
‘Yeah. I’m better off without her,’ I decided.
‘You are. You absolutely are. Did she ever watch TV with you, sit eating popcorn or share a meal specially cooked at home?’ she asked.
I frowned at her. ‘She wasn’t really like that. I mean, she spent most evenings on her phone. We had a TV which she would watch but her interest was silly reality shows and I wasn’t interested in watching anything like that.’
‘Nah…load of shit,’ she commented.
‘Exactly. We didn’t cook together. She couldn’t cook whatsoever. She’d take me out a lot though-to restaurants. The idea of it was always nice-but it was also always me who did the paying at the end of the evening.’
‘What a user,’ Seren commented as we made our way through the forested section of the walk.
‘Yeah…’
‘So you fancy a quiet evening in with me later? We can spend some more time getting to know each other?’ she said, hopefully.
‘I’d love that,’ I smiled.
‘And no funny business,’ she murmured.
‘What? Why?’ I asked, surprised.
‘Because we’re getting to know each other! This has been such a lovely afternoon, Abby. I feel almost guilty that we got so physical, so quickly. If we slow things down now, I think I’d feel much more calm about what’s going on between us. I’ve never been into the whole ‘having a fling’ type affair so it’s nice to actually get to know you now.’
‘I agree with most of what you said, Seren,’ I told her, smiling, ‘just remember I’m only here for six days now…’
‘I know,’ she murmured. ‘But let’s do this right. I think at least three dates until we’re physical again. This can count as one of them!’
‘Yeah? And another tonight…’ I replied, softly. ‘Does that mean you won’t stay tonight?’
‘Maybe not in that way,’ she told me, ‘but a sleepover sounds cool. We can talk all night, have a midnight feast and then cuddle up in each other’s arms to sleep.’
I smiled at her. ‘You are into the relationships rather than one-night stands, aren’t you!’ I exclaimed.
‘I really am. Otherwise I’ll feel like I’ve used you. I don’t want to feel like that.’
‘No,’ I murmured, quietly. ‘And you’re right. This time together this afternoon has been as wonderful as the time we spent in each other’s arms making love. It’s all been an amazing experience…’
‘Which I won’t want to end,’ she said, softly, slowing her pace to look down at me. ‘I know that already…’
I sighed. ‘I have a feeling that I’ll be feeling the same way…’
Our eyes held for a long moment before Seren looked away. ‘But…we make the most of our time together this week. Right?’
‘Right,’ I agreed, and our walk continued.
When we got back down to the beach, Seren led me along the sand and then up to the road which overlooked the bay.
‘So, that’s my Mum’s house there,’ she told me, indicating a gorgeous house as we headed past it.
‘Wow! It’s lovely!’ I exclaimed, and it was. It was a lovely farmhouse style building with a real thatched roof and colourful garden which was blooming brightly. I smiled over at the image as we walked past it. ‘How pretty.’
‘Yes, it is, isn’t it? Mum loves her gardening and I hope, once she retires, she’ll have more time to dedicate to it.’
‘Sounds lovely. Where will you live then, Seren? Presumably not with your Mum?’
‘No…I have an apartment at the hotel. It’s not part of the public section of the place. It’s above, in the private area.’
‘Oh, right! I didn’t even know it had that!’ I exclaimed.
‘It didn’t at first,’ she told me. ‘We converted the attic, many years ago. When my parents first started out, they didn’t have loads of money. We didn’t have a house in the village at that stage so we lived in the hotel. We started off in one of the suites, with only a small space for us to live. As things became more successful, we got builders in to convert the attic into a liveable space. It became our apartment. It’s spacious, has two bedrooms, a lounge, kitchen and bathroom and gives such gorgeous views of the sea it’s unbelievable. It’s been empty for a long time now. Since I came home, I’ve been staying there. I did offer to stay with Mum but she wasn’t having it. She told me she needed to get used to living alone and it would be better if I stayed in the hotel. It also prevents her being on call for emergencies there. I deal with it all now.’
‘Sounds like a big job,’ I commented.
‘Sometimes, but mainly it’s a very enjoyable way to make a
living. It’s constant change and there’s a lot of excitement gained from having people from all over the world come to visit our beautiful cove. I love meeting all the people who love it here. It’s great.’
I smiled at her. ‘That’s why you’ll make a great owner and manager of the place, Seren,’ I told her. ‘You care…you love it, and it shows. You’re going to be great as the person selling the hotel to people because you’re so passionate about it.’
‘Thanks, Abby. That’s a lovely thing to say.’
‘I mean it,’ I told her, sincerely. ‘Your passion for the place will make other people take note and take interest. I’m sure you’ll do amazingly here.’
She sighed. ‘It’s just a shame…’
‘What it?’ I asked.
‘Well, I’d always hoped to do it with my wife. I fully expected to marry Laurie and finally come down here and run the hotel with her. It’s thrown me that I’m going to be doing everything solo.’
‘You’ll adapt,’ I told her. ‘You seem like a pretty strong character to me. ‘You’ll make a success of it whether you’re with or without a partner to share it with.’
‘I hope so…’ she said softly, as the hotel came into view. ‘So, Abby…I know you’re booked in for dinner later, but after that, shall we meet up for an evening of quiet, home-based activities. Think of it almost as therapy. Relax with Seren!’ she joked.
‘Oh, honestly…you’re a mischief!’ I laughed. ‘But yes…that sounds really nice. Where do you want to meet?’
‘Well, there’s either your room at the hotel-or you could come to mine…see the apartment I live in on the top floor.’
I knew immediately which one I wanted to do. ‘Ooh, upstairs would be great! I’d love to see your place!’
‘Great, well after dinner I’ll have to stick around for about an hour but I could pick you up in your room around eight thirty or nine?’
‘That sounds perfect,’ I told her, with a winning smile.
We reached the hotel and Seren let me in the side door at the far end of the hotel. As we walked through the corridor to my room, I felt disappointment that our time together was over.
