by C J M Naylor
I returned a smile to Bridget, but kept my secrets hidden from her.
I shivered in my bed that night. The cold air managed to seep into the house and make the rooms horribly cold. It was hard for me to sleep as my mind was preoccupied with many different thoughts and feelings.
The night trudged by slowly, but finally sun seeped in through the windows. I felt exhausted because of my rough night's sleep. A knock came at my door and then it opened. My mother stepped in through the doorway.
She walked silently toward my bed and sat down on the edge, placing her hand on my arm. I looked up at her through my groggy eyes and smiled.
"Abby," she whispered softly, "I have some sad news to tell you."
My heart pounded. I felt like I already knew what the news was going to be before my mother said anything.
"Mrs. Baxter passed away last night," my mum said softly. "She passed away in her sleep."
My heart dropped. I realized that this was the first time in my life that I had experienced someone close to me passing away. It left me feeling saddened in my heart, but also frustrated because I had dreamed about it. Should I have said something? But I couldn't have. According to Mathias, death would take me instead and would that be something Mrs. Baxter would want?
"I'm sorry to have to tell you this Abby," my mother continued, "it saddens us all. The funeral will be at the end of the week."
My mother left me feeling saddened, but also vulnerable.
At the end of the week, the funeral was over and Mrs. Baxter was gone. I was saddened, but at the same time I knew she was getting older and that death was an inevitable part of life that everyone had to live with. But the dream still haunted me. Was it some sort of sign? Was it to prepare me as Mathias had thought? Was this the torture of having the ability to look into the future to come as well as see what had already past? The questions consumed my thinking over the next several weeks. My mother was taking it a little harder than I was. She had been relatively quieter as of late whenever she was in the kitchen or outside in the garden. She would often just go sit outside in the garden for a while, even though it was winter and not had not come back to life yet.
Mathias and I continued our meetings and he continued to remind me of the upcoming Timekeepers’ ball. A part of me was excited, but a part of me was slightly afraid. If I went to this ball, it would be a very large step into a world that I had no idea what held for me. I knew I would be introduced to several more people who had the same, strange abilities as me and while that should be comforting, it was also frightening. It meant that I had lived in a world for a long time that I believed had been normal, but actually had a fantastical power to it.
In everything that had been happening though, and all Mathias had taught me, I was still curious about the things he didn't want to share. I wanted to know the stories he would not tell me about my mother. He still refused to talk about her and this frightened me. Was he still in grief? Or was there an underlying meaning to his silence. Was he actually not my father? Was my father dead as my biological mother had suggested? Or worse, was Mathias my father and he was actually the danger I needed to stay away from? Because of these insecurities, I decided to return to the Tower of London. I told my mum I would be out late with Phillip, another lie, but I had still yet to confide in anyone about going there.
I called for a taxi and had him drive me to just outside the Tower of London. He gave me quite a strange look. I was sure I looked rather suspicious, a young woman being dropped off outside the Tower of London after midnight. But he took my money and drove off anyway. The night was cold and I knew it was about to get colder once I took that dive into the water, but I did so anyway.
The icy water made my bones go completely numb, but I pushed myself through the normal route toward the secret underground entrance. As soon as I broke the surface I took a rather large breath and pulled myself out of the icy river. I quickly found the entrance and used my mother's pocket watch to gain access.
I have no idea how I knew, but I had the strangest feeling that Bessie would be there and that she would be waiting for me. When I entered the familiar room, a fire was blazing in the fireplace, and I knew she was there. I made my way to what had been my mother's room and found a warm dress of hers to change into. I took my drenched clothes and placed them just beside the fireplace so that they would be dry before I left. After that, I hovered my hands just close enough to the fire to allow the warmth to consume my body.
"Abigail."
I fell backward in shock and focused my attention to the other side of the room. For a moment, I thought the voice had come from my own mind, but then the thin figure of Bessie stepped out of the shadows. She was as I had remembered her. Her brown hair was rather short and came just to her ears and her face was soft and kind. She wore no makeup. A part of me felt guilty for thinking it, but I thought a person would find her neither attractive nor unattractive, just simply plain. Maybe that was how she wanted it? We all judged each other for whatever unknown reason.
"I'm sorry," Bessie mumbled, "I didn't mean to frighten you."
Bessie walked forward and took a seat on the old withering couch. She placed her hands in her lap and smiled at me. She had a natural kindness about her.
"I'm glad you came back," Bessie said softly.
For the briefest moment, I hesitated. I let my thoughts come to me. What would I say? I had so many questions.
"Bessie," I said, "I just want answers." The tone of my voice sounded unsure.
"I understand," Bessie said. "There is so much that I would like to tell you Abigail. There was so much I wanted to tell you before, but I didn't feel it would be the right time. In fact, I'm not even sure if now is the right time."
"You said you were friends with my mother..."
"Your mother and I were very dear friends," Bessie said, "but I was actually friends with Mathias first. We were engaged to be married at one point."
I could feel my heart ramming against my chest. This woman was engaged to Mathias. Where did my mother fit in all of this?
"But my mother married Mathias." I spoke it as if it was truth. I spoke it as if I knew for sure the details of what had occurred, regardless of the fact that I didn't even know if Mathias was my father.
"She did." Bessie turned and walked casually to an old painting of a forest on a beautiful mountain top. She gazed at it for several moments. "Your father became too protective of me. He frightened me sometimes. I ended the relationship. Your father taught me about the Timekeepers though. He told me about the wonderful world in which they lived. The Timekeeping world was very interesting to me. I met your mother here in London. We worked together in a shop. After your father and I split up, Elisabeth asked me to introduce her. I told her about him, but she was still interested. So, I introduced them and not long after that, they were married."
“He told you about the Timekeepers?” I asked, remembering that that was against the rules.
“Yes,” Bessie responded.
I wondered why Mathias had broken a rule when he seemed to be so concerned about making sure they were obeyed.
I decided to confide in Bessie what I had found out at the orphanage. I couldn't not tell herFor a brief moment, Bessie looked as if she had a sudden realization, but then it was quickly gone.
"That isn't surprising," she told me. "Abigail, your father is alive. Your father is Mathias. So, yes, your mother did lie in that letter, but I think she lied to protect you."
"Protect me from what? What happened to my mother?" I realized I had raised my voice unintentionally and quickly apologized.
Bessie appeared to be hesitant. She appeared as if she did not want to say anything regarding the death of my mother.
"Abigail," Bessie said, "I don't know if now is the right time for this. You seem very emotional and I'm afraid you won't understand everything."
"When is the right time?" I asked. "I've gone my whole life in the dark. I'm tired of it. I want to know the truth
."
Bessie approached me. She placed her hand on my cheek and smiled. It was warm and friendly.
"Do you trust me Abigail?"
I hesitated. Why was she asking this question? I had only just met her a few weeks ago. I hesitated and so she broke the silence.
"It's okay if you don't," she responded, turning away. "I would be surprised if you did. But in time, I hope you will come to trust me. But that is why I think the information I know can wait."
"I had somewhat of a dream," I said, "or a premonition. It was about the death of a close family friend and she has since then passed away."
"I'm very sorry to hear about that." Bessie sounded genuinely sorry. She came forward and placed her arms around me, hugging me. I found it odd, considering this was only the second time we had met, but I returned the hug anyway.
Bessie pulled away and placed her hands in the pocket of her housedress.
"But why is Mathias so cold about these things?" I asked. "I thought about warning her, but he was furious because it is against the laws and could also get me killed."
"It is," Bessie responded, "but Mathias has always been very by the book. He doesn't like to test things unless he absolutely has too. But he could still have shared sympathy with you at least. And I think that is one of the reasons why your mother wanted you to stay out of all of this. Mathias isn't really a family man and she didn't want you mixed up in that. Like I said, she wanted to protect you."
"Exactly. He just doesn't share any type of emotion and it really bothers me sometimes."
The old grandfather clock across the room started to sound for the hour. Bessie turned her head to briefly look at the clock before looking back at me.
"It is probably best if you go, Abigail. You don't want to be out so late. But please return to me and, in time, I'm sure I can share more with you."
I left the old underground Headquarters slightly confused. She had information she wanted to tell me, but she didn't want to tell me. I understood her meanings. Did I trust her? The question was difficult to answer. Honestly, I think I was beginning to, but I did not trust her entirely yet. I did not trust Mathias entirely yet. I wondered who I should trust.
"He's an asshole."
I was sitting in Phillip's flat. I had gone straight there after leaving the Tower of London. I wanted to vent to him about Mathias, and he wasn't happy about the things I was saying. My body felt tired. I found it interesting how the body could be so drained from just mental stress. Phillip was furious that Mathias refused to answer my questions. I wondered why I even told things to Phillip sometimes. He usually got angrier than I was.
"Watch your tone, Phillip." How many times did you have to tell a person not to swear? But this was Phillip, and I just had to get used to it. I loved him regardless. Nobody was perfect after all.
Phillip walked over to the divan where I was lying and lifted me up. He sat down and then gently placed my head in his lap. I felt the warmth of his hand on my arm and his other hand stroking my hair.
"I don't like it when you do not get the answers you deserve, Abby," he said. "I care about you too much."
A smile crept onto my face.
"I know. I don't want to talk about Mathias though. I just want to pretend to be normal."
"You are normal.”
"Phillip, I'm never going to be normal. I need you to accept that."
"We are all normal, Abby. Some of us just do different things."
I closed my eyes. I was going to have a hard time making him listen to me and I was too exhausted to try. I felt my body being pulled into sleep, and I drifted off.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
At some point in the night, Phillip had woken me up and coaxed me into his bedroom. Light began to pour in through his window the next morning. I opened my eyes and looked over. He was still fast asleep. I smiled, his mouth was ajar just a bit and it made him look vulnerable. He still had his arms around me, so I gently moved them off me and got out of bed. I checked his watch on the nightstand. It was still early. I didn't have class that day, so I didn't have anywhere to be.
I walked to the bedroom window and looked out over London. While it was still early, the city was already beginning to wake up. I could see workers making their way toward the tube for their morning commute. Automobiles were abuzz, driving through the city to their desired destinations.
As I walked into the kitchen, I continued to think about what I knew about my biological mother, as well as Mathias. The more I thought about it the more I realized how cold and off Mathias was. He was also refusing to talk about Elisabeth, but why? He was furious when he found out I had gone to the old Headquarters. His only focus seemed to be trying to be a teacher instead of a father, and I already knew he was lying to me about something at least. I made the decision that I would not discuss anything with him. I would continue to go and learn, but I would need to find out a few things about whom it was I needed to trust.
A hand touched my shoulder and I felt Phillip's lips kissing my neck.
"Morning," he whispered into my ear.
"Good morning," I responded. "Don't you need to be getting ready for work?"
"Sure do. Want to conserve water and take a bath with me?"
"Very funny. Go take your bath. Coffee will be ready when you get out."
I heard him sigh and make his way to the bathroom. I could hear the running water of the tub as I returned to my thoughts.
Rain began to pour as I made my way to the tube. I ran down toward the train and got on. The train rolled away and soon enough I was ascending the stairs to the city once more. I started running through the rain again and turned down a street and turned again onto my street and made my way toward my house.
I unlocked the front door and quickly stepped inside, shutting it behind me. I could smell lunch cooking from the kitchen and made my way down the hall.
"Hello mum," I said, entering the kitchen.
She was wearing a long blue housedress with a white apron on over it. She smiled at me from the stove and then continued cooking. She had taken a few weeks of leave from work so that she could care for my father, now that Mrs. Baxter was gone. It was nice having her around the house more, but I knew she also worried about the income they were losing by her not working. I had offered to find a job somewhere, but she insisted I focus on my classes, so I did.
A knock came from the door down the hall and I looked up. My mother turned and was about to head out of the kitchen, but I stopped her.
"I'll get it mum.”
She smiled at me and turned back to the stove.
I made my way down the hall and stopped at the front door. I peered out the window of the house and saw it was Bridget. I pulled open the door and she stood there, under an umbrella.
"Come in," I said.
Bridget stepped in and closed her umbrella. I shut the door behind her and took the umbrella from her and set it in the corner. We walked into the living room and sat down on the divan.
I looked around the room and took in the familiar sight of the fireplace as well as the many different family pictures that aligned the walls. My mum had collected my whole childhood through the use of photography. She had chronicled the days of when she first adopted me as a baby to now when I was a grown woman.
"How are you?" I asked Bridget, settling myself into the divan.
She smiled at me. "I'm okay, but I haven't seen you since the funeral and I just wanted to come over and see how you were doing."
"We're okay. It’s tough, but death is a part of age so it is something that I've accepted. It is hard though, because she was the first person close to me I’d known who passed away."
Bridget was in silence for a few minutes. I realized she was probably thinking about her father that had passed away and I realized how potentially lucky I was to have both of my parents still in my life.
"I was wondering if you wanted to get together this weekend," Bridget said. "I thought maybe we could go out and eat and
just have some friend time to talk about things. We haven't really done anything lately."
"Sure, that sounds like an excellent idea," I responded. "Does Saturday sound good? We can meet in the afternoon and stay out till dark or something like that."
She nodded. She seemed happier than when she had come in and I felt good that I was finally doing something non-Timekeeping with my closest friend for once.
The main hallway of the Headquarters was entirely too chilly. It might have been me however. I had goose bumps going in, not knowing what to expect from Mathias. He always seemed to be different on a daily basis. I walked slower than usual down the main hallway today. I admired some of the photographs and paintings of the past Timekeepers—my ancestors. The older paintings were beautifully done.
I continued my walk toward Mathias' desk and discovered that, for once, he was not in the room. But then he appeared from the area that led to the guest rooms. He looked like he had not slept and appeared rather agitated.
"Hello," I said politely upon his entrance into the room.
"Afternoon. Follow me."
I stood up and began to follow Mathias to the door that would lead down into the spare rooms as well as the ballroom.
Mathias led me into one of the guest rooms and opened up a closet. Inside the closet was a beautiful ball gown. It was black and made of very fine silk.
"I purchased your gown in London the other day," Mathias said. "It is a Charles James gown. He is very well known in Paris and the states as well as here in Britain."
"It's beautiful," I noted aloud.
Mathias turned and looked at me and I thought for once I might get a smile, but it was still the same hard expression as always.
"You will need to arrive early on Saturday so that you’ll have time to get dressed before the Timekeeper’s Ball," Mathias said.
"Saturday?"
I had completely lost track of time. Was the ball really this Saturday?
