breast, held there. Nightstar. Had I dropped it? Where was Nightstar? No. Now it didn’t matter. The shock of seeing my own sister with that weapon in hand. Knowing she had put me down. Why? No matter. It was my time. Time to go. Time to rest.
I was done.
“You chose wisely, in the end. Correctly.” She held me close, like a lover. “This might hurt. But you are strong, Andorian. Here, let me get that out of you.” I grunted as a hard jerk shot pain through my numbing body. What…? Ah. She must have tore the crossbow bolt out of my back. “Don’t worry, my Andorian. It will be ok. Everything will be ok now.”
What a joke. Of course it would be ok. I was dying. The dead, unless brought back by a necromancer, were always peaceful. She held me a bit longer, then turned me gently onto my back. Deirda was there. Leaning down. Cleaning my face with a piece of her nightclothes.
“Why…?” Why would you shoot me? I love you. I did this for you. For Selene. For everyone. You, my sister, you I have fought my entire life away for you. For you to have a better world. For you to be safe. I have spent my life on you.
“I love you, brother.” She leaned closer to me, I could smell something sweet on her breath. Apples? Strawberries? Hard to tell. She looked over my face for a heartbeat, then closed her eyes. Her lips were so warm on mine. She cradled my face. I felt the kiss going beyond that of what was proper. Something in the heat of it was not right. I tried to pull back.
I had no where to go. My head was on the ground.
I tried to turn my face away, she held me tighter, her kiss becoming much more.
I’m not sure what was happening but I heard a rumble from near by. Where was she? Where were the swords? I tried to reach up and push Deirda away. I was too weak. She held my hands, at last pulling her lips from mine and smiled down at me.
“Don’t you know that I love you? Didn’t you ever notice?” She laughed softly. It sounded strange. “Since we were little. Forever. You protected me from the other boys. You protected me from the other men. You were my brother. My father. My hero. Always my hero. You were my dream.”
What? That’s not right! My voice was gone. It didn’t matter, she saw what was on my mind. She knew me well, she smiled that smile of hers.
“It is right in every way that matters. No one can love you as much as I do. As much as she does.” Her eyes drifted off to something. I couldn’t see what she saw, but I did see swirling colors of red and blue lighting her face, reflecting in her eyes.
The swords?
“She loves you too, you know. Always has. Why do you think she came to you so many nights? It wasn’t just for Nightstar.” I knew then what had happened. She had corrupted my very sister. She had turned my last love against me. Selene? Selene was gone. But I had continued to fight to avenge her death. I had continued to fight even harder for Deirda’s freedom. Her right to live as she pleased.
It wasn’t to be.
I could feel the ground trembling beneath me. I could see the swirling colors on Deirda’s face twisting and twining, her hair suddenly blowing about from the wind that had begun to sweep outward. I had failed them all. Both swords were becoming one. I could feel the changes around me. A soft blanket of warm air covering my chilled body. The sky going a strange shade of color I could not make out. In the end, she had won. Gentle fingers reached into my head. It was intrusive yet disturbingly comforting. I didn’t want this.
Nightstar and Daystar had become one. Brother and sister were whole now. Complete. The world was lost.
“Not lost.” Her voice came from all around me. From inside me. “Saved.” It was her voice and so much more. She had them now. She had won.
“Don’t you see, my love?” Deirda cradled me close to her. Despite the blood and the mud and the gore that was leaking from my side, she clutched me to her, held onto me as if her life depended on it. “When she came to you, on those nights, she also spoke with me. I saw the beauty of her idea. I knew that what she was doing was for the best. Just think on it. No more violence. No more father’s beating their children. No more wars. No more hatred over race or religion. No more fighting over every day things like food or gold. No more fighting amongst the many races of creatures we share this world with.” Her lips were on mine again. As the world dimmed, yet simultaneously grew brighter, I could do nothing.
“We talked for hours on end, my Andorian. Your sister and I. The more I spoke to her, the more I came to love her too. Love her as you did. I love you both. It was painfully obvious from the way she spoke of you, from the way she colored when she talked about you that her feelings were deep. Deep and true. What every man dreams of. I helped show her the way. Helped her see past the judgment of the ignorant and into the truth of love. Her pure love for you.” I looked over my sister’s head to see a glowing vision staring down at me. Her ember eyes were soft, filled with concern. She was an angel. A demon. All of them and none at the same time. Lies and truth. Truth and lies. Where did one begin and the other end?
You monster. What did you do to my sister?
I could not speak with Deirda’s lips on my own, I doubt I could have spoken regardless. My last bit of life was fading very fast now.
“Don’t give me that look. I did nothing but talk to her. I helped her understand. I helped her explore her true feelings. Helped her shed these backward rules you humans live by.” That innocent smile. “She has loved you for as long as she can remember. I just helped guide her down the path of her true love for you. Helped her. Showed her it was more than the bond between brother and sister. I helped her overcome her fear at the thought. Helped her accept it. You though,” she continued smiling but shook her head. “you are as blind as any man.”
“Selene could not be your love.” Deirda’s voice was low, nearly a whisper. “You loved her and for that I hated her. But, I also loved her because you did. Anything that made you happy, no matter how sad it made me, as long as you were happy.” She lay still, her arms around me. Holding me as I drifted into death.
“I was sad to see her dead you know. Even though she could never have loved you like I can. I know that hurts to hear, my love. But it’s true. Simple truth. You would have spent a life time with her and never been loved in the way that I can love you.”
“Like we can.” That voice. Inside me. Around me. Everywhere and nowhere at once. It was very odd. Those ember eyes were closer now. Was she leaning down? No, she was next to me. Close to me. Too close! The warmth of her felt like that of a bright sunny day when you can feel the sun beating down on your skin. I had failed. Failed them all. It was time to go. I wanted to go. I was so very tired. I closed my eyes slowly, leaving behind the bright ember and soft hazel eyes of the two women looking back at me.
To think. My own sister. Looking back on it, as my life flashed before my eyes, I did see it. Her many accidental walk ins when I was in the bath and her reluctance to leave and insistence on helping me wash. Harmless? I had thought so. It was not uncommon among family after all. The many times I bought her something that she then posed in for me. Asking if she was beautiful. Of course she was. Even if she had not been my sister, I would have said that. Many men had fought for her heart over the years. She had tuned them all away. And the ones that would have had her without her consent… I sent them to hell. Slowly.
All the little touches here and there that had been so comforting, nothing more to me than the love of a sibling. That was what I had thought. Now I could see it. All those times, all these years. How blind I was. It had all seemed harmless to me. Over the years. The times I awoke to have her cuddled next to me in my bed. I didn’t mind, I held her close. She was family and I would protect her even from her own nightmares if I could. The times she held my hand in hers as we walked through the towns. Her words of encouragement and praise at most things I did. Also her admonition, although given in a loving sort of way, when I did something she disproved of.
Women. I never understood them. I guess I never will now.
“You won’
t die.” Deirda’s voice broke through my visions of our life. Cut through my thoughts of drifting off. I had been heading towards a wall of white. I knew it was death and I wanted that release, now it was blocked from me.
I’m supposed to die damn it. I lost. I failed you. I failed the world. I had to go.
But I could not. Something held me back.
Let me go.
“No. I won’t allow it, my Andorian.” That voice inside my head. I could feel her hand on me. I could feel both of them close to me. “You fought well. You fought bravely. In the end, when you had the chance, you did not kill me.”
“Two chances…” Deirda’s voice was soft.
“Indeed. So, for sparing me and showing me that–” what I wouldn’t give to tell her it had been an accident. I had not meant to miss that first blow! She was wrong. They both were. “–oh? We were wrong? He thinks we are wrong.” She could read my mind? I should have noticed by now. “Yes I can see into your head. Into your very heart. Into your heart of hearts. How are we wrong? Don’t you love your sister?”
I do, but not in the way you’re thinking.
“Really? I’ve seen your dreams. I’m in them now.” I could feel the warm blanket of air beginning to settle to the earth. She was right there too, inside me. I could feel her fingers in my mind, my
The Last Battle Of The Star Swords Page 5
