We stop and try new items, talking to the vendors, I get to see Kate in her element. Her eyes light up when she samples sourdough bread with smoked Alaskan copper salmon, and she makes the most intoxicating sounds when she takes a bite of a red king crab cake.
It takes all my self-control not to place my hand on her back and lead her back to the hotel room so I can hear those sounds with her mouth wrapped around my cock. We may not know where we stand in this relationship, but it doesn’t change the fact that this woman is my mate. And damn, I want her.
Used to Bear Valley where everyone knows each other’s names, and the wild mountains where I can let my bear run untamed, I’m a little overwhelmed with how many people are here. But being here with Kate makes the crowds fade away. When we’re together, it’s like we’re the only two people in the world.
“We still need to find that dessert,” I say just as she pulls me to another booth.
“Oh my God, you have to try this,” Kate says, placing a little sample spoon of wild blackberry infused creme brûlée in my mouth. “So good.”
I take a bite, wrapping my arms around her waist and growl against the shell of her ear. “It’s good. But you still taste better.”
She laughs and kisses me.
I was never one for public displays of affection, but with Kate, I love it, happy to shout to the world that she’s mine.
“Kate?” a man’s voice calls through the crowd and I feel my mate tense before she turns to greet the stout little man with wire-rimmed glasses and a pudgy red face. “It is you.”
“Hi Andre.” She gives him a warm smile. “What are you doing here?”
He beams at her, obviously smitten with my mate. “Since my top pastry chef quit on me, I’ve been scouring the talent, and it brought me all the way to Polar Bear country. What about you? Last I heard you were working for Richard Chow. Quite impressive, but then you always were one of my best students.”
“I uh...” She glances over at me, then says to him, “I’m not working right now.”
“You’re kidding me? A talent like yours. You could be running one of the top—”
“I needed some time off.”
“Oh, right. I heard about your fiancé. So tragic.” He places a meaty hand on her arm, and while it’s only meant to be friendly, I bristle because I can tell he has ulterior motives.
The man is after my mate.
Or at least he’s after her skills. I can see it in his eyes. It’s only a matter of time before he offers her a job.
“Well, if you’re looking to get back in the business I could use you.”
And there it is.
“Thanks. I...” She chews on her bottom lip, then says, “I’ll think about it.”
My chest squeezes. I already knew she was thinking of taking a job offer back in Seattle, but this feels different. More real.
“Well, in that case, how about you join me on stage?”
“Stage?” She frowns.
“Another reason I’m here. Tomorrow I’m hosting a live stream of the Anchorage bake-off. One of our contestants just dropped out.”
“I don’t think...”
She hesitates, but I can see the excitement in her eyes, the desire to be a part of something bigger than herself.
She glances over at me. “I can’t, I’m here with—”
“I’m sure your friend won’t mind.” He hooks his arms with hers and pats her hand while smiling up at me. “Would you?”
“No,” I say gruffly. “Her friend wouldn’t mind.” Then, feeling like a selfish prick, I add. “Go, Kate. Sounds like fun.”
“Are you sure?”
I give her a genuine smile. “Yeah. I’ll be in the crowd cheering you on.”
She wraps her arms around my neck, then kisses me, before Andre pulls her away.
Chapter 16
Kate
It’s after nine at night when we get back to the hotel and I’m a basket of nerves. I’ve agreed to a live bake-off with the premier bakers of the west coast, and I’m just now getting the email Andre sent over with the details.
“So I have to be there at ten a.m.,” I tell Weston as I read the email. “Each contestant is given pantry staples, but we have to choose from one of the listed local Alaskan ingredients to make our specialty dish.”
“Do you choose it before the show or during?”
“During. Gosh, so much pressure? Right?”
Weston comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and planting soft kisses on my neck. “You want me to help relieve some of that pressure now?”
I swallow, wanting to say yes. But also wanting to Google the other contestants, wanting to know what their specialties are before the show, so I know what I’m going to be up against. And I should brush up on local Alaskan ingredients to get some ideas for items I could potentially bake on live television.
“Your mind betrays you,” he says, pulling back and moving toward his suitcase. Opening it, he grabs some sweats.
“I asked you to stop reading my mind,” I say softly.
He moves toward the bathroom, pausing to squeeze my shoulders and kiss my forehead. “Kate, I didn’t read your mind - but that doesn’t mean I can’t see that the wheels inside that head of yours are spinning.”
I sigh, relieved that Weston respected my wishes. “That obvious?”
He kisses me on the lips before stepping into the bathroom. “I’m gonna shower, how about you order us some wine from room service? I have a feeling you’re gonna be looking recipes up on your phone half the night.”
I smile, relaxing. “Thank you for being so understanding. You brought me to this fancy hotel room and now my mind is all over the place. I don’t want to let your expectations down.”
“It’s not just about the sex, Kate, being here with you. It’s about getting to know one another, finding out if we’re compatible.”
“Thank you, Wes,” I say, feeling the knot in the pit of my stomach unfurl.
Not knowing if it’s because Weston is so gracious with me, or if it’s because tomorrow I will be center stage doing what I love?
“You’re going to be amazing out there,” Weston says, rubbing my shoulders and kissing the back of my head.
We’re backstage and the show is about to start, but funny enough I’m not all that nervous.
“Just be you out there and everyone will love you.” He spins me around and grins down at me.
God, the man undoes me.
“I just hope the judges like what I make.”
“This means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”
“It’s just good to be pushed a little bit.” I chew on the inside of my lip. “If that makes sense.”
He presses his lips to my forehead and nods. “It does.”
“Showtime,” a young woman with a headset says, clapping her hands. “Everyone take their places.”
I lean into Weston, taking his strength, his affection, needing...him. But also wanting this. And I can’t help but wonder if there’s any way I can have both. But it’s not like there are many openings in Bear Valley for a pastry chef.
“You better go,” Weston murmurs, a smile tugging at his lips, and I wonder if he’s read my thoughts again.
I start to turn to go, but he catches my hand.
“Kate.” He brushes his knuckles down my cheek. “I want you to know that whatever you choose, it’s okay. One thing this weekend has shown me is you’re even more incredible than I thought. Smart, beautiful, talented. You deserve to have everything you want.”
Everything I want.
Do I even know what that is anymore?
I stand on tiptoes and kiss him one more time, but the next thing I know I’m being pulled onto the stage, a thousand eyes on me, and my only thought is, Weston, I want you.
I push the thought into his head, hoping for a confirmation that he wants me too, but there’s no response back.
“And we’re live in ten, nine, eight...”
Frowni
ng, I glance to the side of the stage, searching for my mate. It’s not hard to find him since he stands a head taller than everyone.
He tilts his head, and my chest squeezes at the sadness and acceptance in his eyes as they meet mine.
I want you, I repeat.
His lips pull up slightly, but the smile doesn’t meet his eyes, and he pushes back, I want you too, sweetheart. I just don’t know if I’m enough.
Chapter 17
Weston
“Daddy, Kate,” Finley hollers, running out the front door of my house to greet us. “Yay, you’re home.”
My mom follows her. “Did you two have a good time?”
I pull our luggage out of the back of the truck.
“Anchorage is beautiful,” Kate says, glancing over at me uneasily.
I know it’s my fault, the tension between us, my bear went and got all sullen and moody, and as hard as I tried to rein it in, insecurities and apprehension sit heavily on my shoulders.
“We saw you on TV,” Finley says.
“You did?” Kate’s smile falters slightly.
Again, my fault.
I wasn’t surprised that my mate won the contest. Watching her on stage, her determination and focus, the spark in her eyes as she put the tiniest touches on each of her creations, she was mesmerizing.
Backstage, I’d even heard the producer mention that she should have her own show, that with her looks, and presence, she could be the next Rachael Ray.
“Did you keep the big trophy?” Finley asks, bouncing on her toes.
“I did.” Kate digs through her luggage, searching for it, Finley hovering over her.
I catch my mom’s gaze as she raises a brow at me, clearly aware of the tension between Kate and I.
“It’s so pretty,” Finley says, taking the faux-gold trophy that Kate hands her.
When she spins around with it, I say quickly, “Careful, Fin.”
“It’s okay.” Kate stands. “She can have it.”
“Really?” Finley’s eyes widen.
You sure? I push.
Kate nods. Doesn’t mean what I thought it would.
A touch of hope spreads in my chest, some of the heaviness lifting from my shoulders. But also guilt, because I wonder if my mood took away from her moment in the spotlight.
“Well, I should get going.” My mom kisses my cheek. “I’m having a family dinner tomorrow night. I hope the three of you will be there.”
“Thanks for watching Fin.” I open her car door for her.
My mom has been an essential part of me not losing my mind over the past seven years, raising Finley alone. Because of her, I hadn’t worried that my daughter was missing a mother figure, but seeing Finley these past weeks with Kate, I know I was wrong.
But it’s selfish of me to force my own needs on the woman, especially if her needs don’t match mine.
“Let me just take my bag inside, then I’ll drive you home,” I say to Kate, placing a hand on her lower back, needing her touch like I need oxygen. Wanting her to stay, but knowing I have to let her go. It has to be her choice.
“Can’t she stay?” Finley pouts.
“I’ll come back tomorrow.” Kate places a palm on Fin’s head and smiles down at her. “We can make a dessert to bring to your grandma’s. How does that sound?”
Fin still pouts, tugging at Kate’s hand. “But I wanted to show you the picture I drew.”
I see Kate falter. “Okay, I can come in for a few minutes.”
Finley is a bundle of excitement as she pulls us into her tent on the back porch. There are pillows and blankets piled everywhere and Kate goes along with it, climbing in. The three of us sitting in my daughter’s fort as she pulls out her drawing, handing it to Kate.
“Do you like it?” she asks. “It’s us.”
“Oh, wow,” Kate says, her voice is thin and watery. I try to understand why. “It’s lovely.”
When I lean over to see the picture, I understand why Kate has gone quiet immediately. It’s a drawing of me in bear form, with Kate and Finley in the woods. Pine trees tower over us and even though Kate and Finley are drawn by a seven-year-old, it’s still clear who is who. Kate has been given an apron like she wears in the kitchen, and Finley is in her overalls.
Kate is staring at the crayon lines and I see her blinking back tears.
Fuck. My mate knows what she wants, and I don’t think it is me.
Not wanting her to cry in front of Fin, I take control. “Hey Fin, why don’t you go in the house and get us a snack?”
“Can we have graham crackers and Nutella?”
“Sure, why don’t you go make up a plate?”
She kisses me on the cheek and crawls out of the fort.
Kate wipes her eyes and I look around my daughter’s fort, trying to collect my thoughts. All around us are tiny details of Finley’s passions. A bird nest is in the corner, collected seashells are lined up in a row on top of an upturned cardboard box, a nature book on identifying paw prints in the woods. She is my little girl, through and through.
I love Finley with all my heart, I’m her daddy, and I only want a woman to step in as her mother if she wants it too, if she truly believes she belongs in this family.
“Want to tell me why you’re crying?” I ask.
She wipes the corner of her eye. “I was offered a job,” she says. “Andre wants to produce a show, with me as the star. It would mean me leaving Bear Valley—”
We hear a rustling by the door, and I want to ask more, but I don’t want to discuss it in front of Fin.
“Finley?” I call out. “You need help?” There’s no answer. I stick my head out of the tent. “Fin?”
Frowning I look at Kate. “I’m gonna check on her.”
“Do you think she heard?” Kate asks, her face falling. “I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay, she’s a big girl,” I say crawling out.
We look in the house, calling for her, but Finley isn’t anywhere. The jar of Nutella is unopened on the counter and the front door is wide open.
“Shit,” I say, panic crawling at my throat. “I bet she ran off.”
“I’ll go with you. She couldn’t have gone far,” Kate says, but I shake my head.
“No, you stay here in case she comes back. I’ll go looking and will call my brothers if I need help.”
I move toward the woods, shifting as I run, desperate to find my little girl. She doesn’t understand the threats that lurk in these woods. I look over my shoulder and see Kate watching me as my body transforms into a wild bear, a Kodiak with the strength that could move mountains.
She was offered a job and is going to leave. Dammit, I knew she was too good to be true. Knew finding a mate would only lead to heartbreak.
But right now, I can’t think about that. I need to focus on finding my daughter. She is my world, my everything. Even though I hoped and was foolish enough to believe that Kate would be as well.
Chapter 18
Kate
There’s no use in fretting over Finley yet, the girl has run off multiple times before, and I have no doubt Weston will find her and bring her home safe and sound. So instead of worrying, I set to work on cleaning the house, because if I don’t busy my hands, I’ll let guilt busy my mind. If Finley heard my words and ran away because of them, I can only blame myself.
It’s still daytime, so I focus on what I can do. Which is getting out the broom, rolling up my sleeves, and getting to work.
It helps to keep my mind off Andre’s offer. And off the picture Finley drew of us. Two very different futures.
I just don’t know which one to pick.
My career or a family with a man who makes my heart skip a beat and my body turn to mush. Money and fame or being a mom to a little girl who already has me wrapped around her little finger.
“I want both,” I mumble, which makes me feel even more guilty.
But which future do you want more?
Weston and Finley, my heart answers i
mmediately, even though it’s the scarier of the two options.
I want them. This. Bear Valley. Even if it means giving up ever being a world-famous pastry chef. For them, it’ll be worth it.
But as the hours go by, and the sun starts to set, and I still haven’t heard back from Weston, fear begins to tighten around my chest. I call Weston, but his cell vibrates on the kitchen table. I try Addie, and she answers on the first ring.
“Have you heard from them?” she asks, answering my question if she knew anything.
“No.” I chew on my bottom lip.
“It’s been hours. Where could she be?”
The cave, my mind cries out. She went to her cave.
“I need to go,” I say quickly. “I’ll call you if I find anything out.”
Have you checked the cave? I push into Weston’s mind, right now glad for the crazy mate ESP thing we have going on and wondering why I hadn’t thought about it sooner. The one where you found us that day.
I did, he pushes back. It was the first place I looked. She wasn’t there.
But maybe she is now. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling she’s there. And scared. Like the child is calling to me. Not as strong as Weston’s voice in my head, but still there.
We’re on the other side of the mountain, we’ll check again when we come back around.
But how long will that be?
Hours?
I can imagine Finley, knees tucked under her chin, tears running down her cheek, sitting in that damn cave, crying because she thinks I’m going to leave her just like her mom did.
I have to go to her.
Stay put, Weston growls into my head.
I don’t answer back, because I know he’ll only keep arguing with me. Instead, I go to his closet and pull out the gun I know he has stored, then with shaky hands I load it.
Once I’m out the door, I sprint through the trees, up the steep hill toward Finley’s cave, ignoring the warnings I hear from Weston, because she needs me. I feel it deep inside my chest, like my heart beats with a warning.
Untamed Daddy (Mountain Men of Bear Valley Book 3) Page 8
