His eyes, too big in his gaunt face, silently followed me as I picked up my things and stepped back into my past. I kicked the door shut behind me and slunk down the hall, intending to put my things away and get to night school before anyone made note of my return.
I don’t know why I thought I could just fit right back into my old life. My sisters had wasted no time after I left. One of them already occupied my bottom bunk. The only place left was the top, and its height was shortened by the slope of the ceiling. I stood there, trying to decide where to put my things, and I realized my life had already outgrown this place. I held all my worldly possessions in two large shopping bags, and even that was too much stuff to squeeze into the room. Now that I had seen what could be, I was no longer happy with what was.
“Oh, you’re back.” Doris said, popping her gum as she swung into the room to freshen her makeup.
“Hello, Doris.” I watched her bend down in front of the mirror, swiping another layer of black mascara on her already caked lashes. Her skin-tight low-cut top showcased her considerable assets, and her cut-off jean shorts were so short I could see the underside of her bottom hanging out the back. “Got a new boyfriend?”
“You know it. He’ll be here any minute. This one is gonna get me out of this hell hole.”
I sighed. It was always the same. She fell for any guy that showed her two minutes of attention, and they always left her a mess when they moved on. Unfortunately, she didn’t hold out for the solid, steady guys. She went for the flashy ones, and they were never in it for the long haul.
She stopped on her way out the door. The latest guy honked his horn and hollered for her to hurry up. “What’s the matter with you? You get fat eating all that good food?” She didn’t wait for my answer. “I don’t really care. Just don’t touch my stuff.” And then she was off, chasing a dream that she would never catch.
Toby stood in the doorway, chewing on one corner of his blanket, scuffing his toes in the dirty shag carpet. He never came in, he just watched quietly as chaos came and went in his too-short life.
“Come on.” I took his hand, shut the bedroom door, and walked him to the kitchen. He looked hungry. I opened every cabinet, went through every shelf in the refrigerator, and came away with a half-sleeve of saltine crackers. There was no food in the house. Where is all the money I leave for Mama going?
Lena
“Toby, when is Mama getting home?”
“Don’t know.” I could barely hear him mumble behind the thumb in his mouth and the blanket wadded in his fist.
Before I could ask any more questions, I heard a key in the lock, and Mama shoved the door open. It still stuck where the bottom swelled up every time it rained.
“Lena.”
“Hi, Mama.”
“You can’t be here.”
“I lost my job. I don’t have any place else to go.”
“You’ve got to go before your father gets home. He can’t see you.” She was panicking, flapping her hands and fluttering around the room.
“Mama, are you listening? I lost my job.”
She looked up at me and I could see the shadow of a black eye under the thick pancake makeup she tried to mask it with. “He’s been so good. He is bringing home a regular check, and he gave me money last week for a new dress.”
“Mama, what about your eye?”
“Oh, that was nothing. I overcooked the chicken last night.”
“He beat you over chicken? Seriously? And there is no food in the house. What about the money I’ve been leaving for you?”
“Oh, I gave that to your father. He bought a car.” She picked up her bag and bustled into the kitchen, pulling out a bunch of brown spotted bananas, a wilted head of lettuce, and a jar of peanut butter.
“Mama, that was food money for you and the kids. That’s barely enough for Toby, much less everyone else.” I grabbed her bag and saw some sausages and potatoes in the bottom. Of course my father would get a real meal.
“Your father needed a car for his new job.” She bustled about, fixing the sausages and potatoes for my dad. She handed Toby a plate of crackers topped with peanut butter, which he silently took to the corner, sat down, pulled his blanket over his head, and began to eat. By the time he was done, there was peanut butter all over his face and his blanket.
I threw my hands up. There was no talking to her when she was like this.
I heard the door click open and the heavy steps of my father lumbering into the apartment. My siblings, who had been chatting in the living room and doing homework, suddenly fell silent as they waited for the other shoe to drop. I saw my mother’s shoulders tense as she turned to face the sink, leaned over to wash her hands, and then straightened her apron. She checked the heat under the sausages and shuffled to get a plate and silverware on the table.
"Why are you here?" he demanded upon seeing me. The alcohol on his breath overpowered the smell of the spicy sausages popping and spitting in the pan on the stove.
"Hi, Daddy.” I swallowed my nervousness. “I need to come home.” I made myself as small as I could and stood there with my knees shaking.
“Get the hell out of here!” he roared. My mother cowered in a corner, and my siblings vanished as if they had not just been scattered throughout the house. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Toby climb in to a kitchen cabinet, pull his blanket in with him, drape it over his head, and shut the door.
"But Daddy," I took a step forward my hands spread in a placating gesture, "I love you, and I want to come home."
"I told you not to come back. Why are you back? You are going to ruin everything!” I could hear his angry intake of air before he launched at me, fists swinging. I shut my eyes and braced for a blow, wrapping my arms around my waist to protect the baby.
I felt his first punch land on my jaw, splitting my lip, snapping my head back, and knocking me to the floor. I curled in a ball, hiding my face and protecting my belly, prepared to take whatever he dished out. This was not my first beating and certainly wouldn't be my last if I was moving home.
"Dinner is ready!" I barely heard my mother’s soft voice break through my father's anger as I felt his punches and kicks land on my back and sides. The air lightened as I sensed a pause in his fury. "I made sausages, your favorite."
"How is a man supposed to take care of his family when his children try to ruin everything?” His voice was almost plaintive as he shuffled over to the table, leaving me in a forgotten heap on the floor.
I moved my sore body just enough to crack one eye open and watch my mother bustle about the kitchen, serving the king his meal. Thankfully, she had been able to distract him without putting herself in harm’s way.
Chapter Sixteen
Noah
"Hey, Mom, how are you and Dad doing?"
“Your father is being ridiculous.” Her disgusted southern belle voice drilled into my skull, setting a headache pulsing behind my right eye. “He wants to serve another term, and let you get your business going. You need to talk some sense into him. He's already had two heart attacks. He won't survive another.”
“Mom, if it’s what he loves, why is that so bad?"
"Noah, your father is all I have.” Her voice changed timber. It became softer, almost pleading. “You have your own life you are starting with Haley. I don't wanna live without him. Will you talk to him?" I had never heard such insecurity in her voice. This side of my hardnosed mother was new.
"Well…” I couldn’t say no to my mother asking for a favor. “Things are crazy around the office, but if you want to bring him by for lunch, maybe we could find some time to chat for a minute. Why don't I send the limo for you?"
“That would be lovely, dear. We would enjoy having lunch with you. Why don't we bring Haley and make it afternoon of it?"
"Mom, I will try to talk to Dad, but I need to finalize these plans on this building, and right now I don't have a secretary."
“Oh, all right. I just don't like to see you neglecting Haley.”
"Not today, Mom. I'll send a limo for you guys in an hour."
"Thank you, honey. We will see you in a bit."
I sent off a dozen emails, returned two phone calls, signed and sealed four employments contracts that needed to go out in the mail the next day, and dumped another pile of stuff on John’s desk for him to deal with. Not having a secretary sucked. Not having Lena there was worse.
I missed her smile. I missed her wit. I missed her keen eye for detail that kept me from making mistakes. I missed her warm body next to me in bed at night. The office was too quiet, but the apartment was worse. Everywhere I looked, I saw Lena. She was in the neatly packaged leftovers in the refrigerator, in the folded laundry that graced my drawers, in the smell of her on my sheets. I couldn’t escape the memories.
Bzzzz.
The security office rang on the intercom. “Mr. Hendrix, your family is here to see you.”
“Send them on up!”
Time to face the music.
“It was good to see you, Mom.” I gave her a hug as she and my dad prepared to head home. “I called the limo. It should be downstairs, waiting for you.”
“Thanks, Son.” She squeezed me back. When did she get so frail? I could feel her bones through her skin, and she seemed smaller.
“You have a good thing going here,” my dad said, reaching out to shake my hand. I pulled him into a quick embrace. I didn’t see my parents nearly as much as I wanted, and the lunch I’d dreaded turned out much better than expected.
“Thanks, Dad, and thanks for the talk.”
I rode with them down to the ground floor, waving goodbye as they crossed the lobby and exited the glass doors to the limo idling in front of the building. Lost in my own thoughts, I stepped back into the elevator and faced the doors as they started to slide closed. The elevator car was rocked by a huge blast as a massive orange and yellow ball of flames engulfed the limo with my parents inside.
“NO!” My shouts were lost in the concussion as the elevator car rocked. The doors jammed open just a few inches, and I could see the glass windows of the lobby raining down like crystal raindrops from the sky. The force of the blast threw me backward, I stood, swaying, dizzy, my ears ringing as I tried to make sense of what just happened.
“MOM! DAD!” I howled, banging my fists on the elevator. I tried to pry the doors open. “Let me out!”
I pulled and pushed, watching through the crack as only a few people in the lobby made their way to their feet. Others lay broken where they fell, bits of glass and plaster covering their still bodies.
The security guard, who had been partially protected behind his desk, staggered to the elevator where I railed against my entrapment, trying to open the heavy doors through sheer force of will.
“Waaaa, wa, waaa wa waa,” he seemed to say.
“What?” I shouted, not realizing the ringing in my ears kept me from hearing anything.
“I. will. try. and. get. you. out! Hang on!” He slowly mouthed the words right in front of my face while pointing just outside my line of vision.
I stepped back and nodded, waiting impatiently for his return.
Moments later, he again faced me, a fire ax in his hand, and motioned for me to step back even further while he jammed the ax in the crack and used it to pry the doors wide enough for me to escape.
The instant the doors released, I flew through them, across the lobby, and down the steps to where my limo sat, still engulfed in flames.
“MOM! DAD!” I shouted frantically as several police officers grabbed me by the arms, holding me back from the car, my parents, and the raging inferno.
“Sir! Sir!” A detective finally stood directly in front of me, blocking my view of the wreckage. “Sir, do you know anything about that car?”
“Yes,” I said, focusing on him. “That’s my car.”
“And did you know if there was anyone inside?”
“Yes! Both my parents are in there. You have to get them out!” I struggled violently to shake off the officers holding me when the detective put his hand on my shoulder.
“I’m very sorry,” he said, “but there is nothing we can do. They are gone.”
“Noooooooo!” I bent at the waist, squeezing my eyes shut and howling in pain. They can't be gone! They just can’t be!
My brain completely shut down. I couldn't handle any more loss at that moment. First Lena, now my parents. I hadn’t even told them they were about to get their first grandbaby.
Hours later, still in shock, I sat in my fancy leather chair, in my designer office, in my empty apartment, surrounded by a building full of strangers. The police and paramedics had wanted me to go to the hospital to be checked out, but I told them they could look at me in an ambulance. I wasn’t going anywhere. I needed to be home. I needed to find out what happened. I needed…
I didn’t know what I needed.
Well, I did. I needed Lena.
I had no idea how I would get through this. The police filed what seemed like hundreds of pages of documents. They claimed they had a lead. Witnesses reported seeing a man bending down by the back wheel of the limo. One claimed he was tying his shoe. Another said the strange man dropped something under the car.
Based on those reports, the police suspected the man planted an explosive device when he was by the car—some kind of homemade bomb. As they cleaned up, crime scene techs would be on the scene all night, collecting evidence. If they could recover parts of the incendiary device, they would try to track their source. In the meantime, witnesses were sitting with sketch artists. If they could compile a likeness, they would pass the image around to the news media, blah, blah, blah… If, if, if…
None of this would bring back my parents.
I tilted my chair back and began to count the shadows on the ceiling. Closing my eyes, I drifted off thinking about the insurmountable responsibility of suddenly being the head of the Hendrix family and managing the Hendrix fortune.
Chapter Seventeen
Lena
“Bet you are glad you got out of that place.” Doris waltzed into the bathroom and peered into the cracked mirror, crowding me as I scrubbed the toilet. One toilet for ten people got gross quickly.
“What are you talking about?” I asked as I rocked back on my heels, toilet brush in hand, and my stringy hair sticking to my flushed face.
“That ritzy office where you worked. Some guy blew it up. Killed a bunch of people.”
“WHAT?!” I tried to stand, but my bulk threw me off balance, and I had to catch myself on the sink to pull myself to my feet. I gripped her shoulders, pulling her attention from her image in the mirror. “Tell me what happened!” I shook her viciously, and her head bounced like a bobble head.
“Stop!” she whined. “I don’t know anything else! There was just some announcement. I saw it on the news at work.”
“Oh my God! I have to go down there!” I fluttered about the room, straightening my clothes and trying to make my hair somewhat presentable. I searched for my purse.
“What for?” Doris swung into the bedroom and flopped on the bed, kicking her feet up in the air. “They fired your ass. You don’t owe them anything.”
“But Noah is there.”
“The Noah who knocked you up?”
“You know?” I looked up, startled.
“I’m not stupid, Sis. We share a room. You’re not fooling anybody.”
“Do Mama and Daddy know?”
“I think even Toby knows.”
I involuntarily laughed. Toby was my favorite of my siblings, but he was barely out of diapers. “Noah is my boss. I just hope he wasn’t hurt.”
“That rich fancy pants you were shacked up with?”
“Don’t talk about him like that!”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. He’s your baby daddy.”
“I am not discussing this with you, Doris. Keep an eye on Toby until Mama gets home. I need to go.”
“I got a life, you know. I heard what Daddy said. Y
ou want to live here, you take care of the kids.”
“Doris.” I turned and gave her that older sister look.
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you.”
The driver had to take a detour. Crime scene tape and police cars with flashing lights blocked the main road. The city bus let me out two blocks from the office, and I huffed and puffed my way as close as I could get.
“Ma’am, please stay back.” An officer blocked me as I tried to crawl under the crime scene tape.
“I need to get to the office. I work here.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. The building has been evacuated. No one is here.”
“Where did they go?”
“Everyone gave their statements. The injured went to the hospital, and everyone else went home.”
“The injured? Is there a list?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not at liberty to discuss that. Now, can you please step back?”
I turned from the scene. The charred remains of a vehicle still smoked in front of the building, a gaping hole where the entrance to the office should have been. Spider web cracks decorated what little glass remained, most having shattered completely, leaving dark holes like eyes staring out at us. The metal window frames were twisted and melted, and jagged spikes spiraled from the opening. Smoke and dust still hung in the air, blurring the scene and filling it with the smell of fear and death.
I paced, not knowing what to do. Where would Noah go? Is he alright?
I pulled my sweater close and started walking. I really didn’t have money for another taxi.
“Need a cab, miss?”
“No, thank you.” I ducked my head and kept walking, trying not to attract any more attention. I sniffed and hid my tears, worried about Noah, afraid my baby would grow up without a father. The night air penetrated my sweater and I shivered. The wind cut through me, and my skirt tangled around my legs. The smell of sulfur and smoke filled the streets, and behind me, the clamor of police, fire, and ems mixed with the cries of the onlookers.
Noah Page 10
