by Dani Wyatt
This must be a dream.
My psyche has broken. Fractured.
I’ve created this alternate reality.
It’s finally happened. I’ve cracked.
Chapter 15
Torin
“Where are we going?”
We’ve been driving for an hour. I can barely form words or keep my eyes on the road, but the reward of discipline will be worth it.
“It’s a surprise.”
“What exactly happened?”
“Justice,” I grunt, squeezing her hand, which I have refused to let go of since I walked her out of the waiting area at the prison.
As much as I wanted to fuck her right there in the parking lot, with all the security cameras around, we would both have ended up on the wrong side of the law again, and anything that threatens to separate us is out of the question.
“I want you to understand.” I clear my throat and squeeze her hand until she’s looking at me. “You are it for me. I knew it the day you walked into the bar. Something inside me has changed forever, Jessie. You are wound into my soul. I cannot separate me from you in that way anymore. We are our own people, but we are woven together. I would have never left you. I gave you what you needed to be safe, but I never left you. I watched you, I followed you. I waited for you. And I would have waited forever for you. Until you were ready. I would have been there. I want you to know that, baby. I would have waited for you.”
“I guess deep down, that’s what I wanted. I just couldn’t bear to ruin your life. It would have pushed me over the edge. The guilt. Thinking that secretly you resented me. I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I’m sorry. I know I’m not perfect. I have problems—”
“We.” I stop her. “We all have problems. And yours? Yours are mine. And unfortunately, you will find out someday I’m sure, mine are yours.” I chuckle and turn the wheel as I head down the dirt road to the house.
“What?” She gives me a playful, incredulous stare. “You have problems? Say it isn’t so.”
“Baby, here’s the deal. I’m getting you bound to me in every possible way. Then, the shit storm is going to start.” I kid, and she shakes her head with an eye roll.
“Oh goody. I love a good shit storm.” We both laugh, and she leans over and wraps her other hand around my arm, resting her head on my shoulder with a sigh, and I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.
A minute later, I pull down the pine tree-lined drive, and a feeling of being completely and totally alive embraces me. Watching Jessie’s eyes as she takes in the landscape, then the house, as it all comes into view, is like all my dreams come true.
“Where are we?” She breathes out, sitting up straight as I put the truck in park and hop out to come around and get her out.
I open her door and reach up. She puts her hands on my shoulders, and I help her down, keeping her body pressed against mine, then wrap her in my arms and turn us both toward the white-pillared house that rivals any southern plantation mansion.
“My great grandfather built this for my grandmother. She loved Gone with the Wind. And when he made his fortune manufacturing guns and ammunition, he built this for her. It’s been in my family since.”
Her hands come up and grip my forearms and the sweetest fucking smile blossoms on her face, raising pink on her cheeks and causing the sun to reflect off her blonde hair.
To imagine she almost went to prison and away from me has my throat tightening. I want to hold her forever and be sure nothing or no one comes between us ever again.
“Who lives here now?” She licks her bottom lip, and I lean down to kiss the shiny spot there, pulling it between my teeth as I fight off the urge to spin her around and fuck her right here.
Not for my own pleasure, no. What it means to me is so much more. Every time she takes me inside her, I give her my soul. That’s how it feels. Fucking her, making love to her, any physical expression of my desire is another way for her to know my heart is hers and hers is mine.
“Well.” I look at the house, then down to see the question in her eyes. “We do.”
She steps back against the side of the truck, and I shove my hands down into my pockets, watching the wonder bloom on her face.
“What?”
“Jessie.” I take a hand out and run it down my face. I wasn’t sure how today was going to turn out, but I will say one of my strengths is always being prepared. And I am. “This house has been mine since my grandmother passed away. But it never felt like home to me. Never felt like the time was right for me to be here.” I pause, stepping forward and reaching into my back pocket. “Until I met you. That day in the fucking bar, Jessie, you walked through that door, and you know what flashed through my mind?”
I close the space between us, feeling my heartbeat speed and the innocence on her face has me falling in love with her all over again.
“Um…” She tugs her lips to the side and looks up at the sky in mock deep thought. “Nope. I got nothing.”
“This place. I saw you, closed my eyes for a second and I saw you, Jessie. Here.” I turn to look at the house, remembering that day. “You were standing there on the porch. Your hair was blowing in your face. You were wearing this white sort of cotton dress, with lace and you know what else?”
I look back at her to see her staring at me.
I swallow hard and all the wonder and confusion of that moment floods back. “I saw me, standing behind you. My arms wrapped around your belly. You were pregnant and had this on your finger.”
I pull the little box out of my back pocket and in one motion flip it open and I’m down on my knee. I want it all, the fairy tale, down on one knee, happily ever after and I’m not ashamed.
“Are you joking?” She laughs, and her hands fly to cover her open lips.
“I suck at jokes. You know that. Marry me, Jessie. Marry me, move in here with me, make a house full of babies with me. Be my wife. Be my friend. Be my lover. Be my everything, baby. Please. I’m not above begging.” Tears well in her eyes and I barely choke out the last words. “I’m not above kidnapping you and holding you here against your will either. So, either way, you’re mine. So, yes? Marry me, Jessie.”
I bite back the half-sob that threatens to tear from my throat and lose.
I’m crying. I’m fucking crying again, only this time it’s from happiness because she just nodded and held out her hand.
I’ve got that fucking ring on her finger faster than a bullet out of a gun. And, if I have my way, and I usually get my way, I’ll have her married to me and a baby in her belly by the end of the week.
I scoop her up and carry her, giggling and looking at her finger, up the porch stairs and straight to the bedroom.
I can’t get the marriage sealed right now, but I can get a good start on that baby.
Epilogue 1
Jessie
Six Months Later
The heat of the sun warms my shoulders as Torin drags me by the hand upstairs into the hayloft of the barn.
“Torin.” I half giggle trying to sound annoyed, but I fail.
“Baby.” He scoops me up as I yelp, and he carries me the rest of the way up the stairs. “Just shut up and let me take care of you, okay? Sometimes you are a royal pain in my ass.”
His good-natured ribbing holds truth. We are fairly sure I got pregnant the day Torin proposed and we went on a sex bender here at the house. Since then, I’ve been a bit of a cranky girl. I go from joyful to crying, to bitching at him about the dumbest stuff.
He takes it in stride, but he also has no issue putting me in my place when he’s had enough. That has included turning me over his knee which the first time shocked me, but it had a wonderful effect. It cleared my mind and made me incredibly wet which Torin took full advantage of.
Now, a spanking is something I feel sometimes I need as well as sometimes do my best to earn.
Right now, even I know my brat factor is high and my mouth sometimes goes faster than my brain. I stick my tongue out at Tori
n before adding, “Sometimes you’re a bossy—”
Before I can finish, the words are stolen from my mouth by the scene set in front of me.
The loft of the barn is full of hay bales, but the door is open on both ends and a summer breeze sweeps through dancing in white gauze fabric that’s been hung from the rough-hewn beams twenty feet over head.
White twinkling lights are wrapped around the posts and beams and there’s a mattress covered in quilts and enormous pillows just inside one of the openings.
“God Torin what is all this?” He carries me toward the mattress and sets me down on my bare feet gathering my hair in his hands behind my head.
He tugs backward and my neck bends forcing my eyes upward.
“This is me showing my wife how much I love her. How much I want her.” He growls the last words and his hands on my hair pull tighter making me gasp as he presses our bodies together.
“It’s beautiful.” I manage though the words feel stuck in my throat.
“Nope, you’re beautiful. This is beautiful.” He runs his hands from my hair down my back then sweeps them onto my belly which is filling out the front of my yellow and white sundress.
“I’m ginormous. How big am I going to get? It’s ridiculous. I look so fat.” My voice catches and I feel the sting of tears start. I cried this morning when we ran out of mustard because I wanted some on my oatmeal. My tits are so big, I can’t even buy a bra in a normal store anymore.
How Torin is ever going to survive this pregnancy with me I can’t imagine.
“I want you huge.” He throws his head back then looks down at me with a smile. “As big as a house, bigger. The more the better. Go big or go home.”
“Shut up you’re an idiot.”
“Maybe, but I’m your idiot and you make my cock harder the bigger you get, so stop with your bitching and lay down because I’m going to fuck you in every position possible.”
He lowers me onto the soft bed that sits on the floor of the loft and strips himself before doing the same to me. We are naked, the sunshine coming through the open loft door and he turned his lips to mine.
My stomach flutters looking up at him. I’m still as attracted to him as ever, probably more and I arch and moan as he kisses and licks his way down my body.
He pays special attention to my pregnant belly until he’s between my legs, throwing them onto his shoulders and eating me until I’m a shaking mess covering his face with my release and he comes up my body smiling and slipping his cock inside me in one thrust.
The air leaves my lungs and my body explodes into an immediate blinding orgasm. His cock still stretches me to my limits and hits these spots inside of me that leave me breathless and helpless.
“You feel better now baby?” His green eyes narrow as he moves inside of me and I answer by moving my hips as best I can upward, taking all of him until I feel his balls hitting me as we move together.
True to his word, Torin moves my body into every position I can still manage and makes love to me until the sun is setting and the breeze turns cool.
As we lay spent and his hand pets my hair, I stare out at the tops of the trees, the roof of the house and am overwhelmed with gratitude.
Tears spring to my eyes again.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He’s so sweet but I hear the exasperation in his voice. He can’t figure me out minute to minute, and I know there is some element of extra worry for him considering my past anxiety and depression, but he made me promise to never keep my emotions tucked away, so I’ve learned to just let it all out.
“I’m just so happy.” I sob and he takes a deep breath unsure what the hell to do with this raving lunatic I’ve turned into.
“So, these are happy tears then?” He asks as I nod and he sighs. “Cuz sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.”
“I know.”
“Okay, well let’s talk about tomorrow.” He’s good at distracting me with conversation and he truly is my best friend.
I nod.
“Helga is coming here with Heather around noon. I’ll have the trellis set up, the florist is coming about the same time to get the flowers ready, the chairs put out. All you girls will need to do is help the bride get ready, I’ll handle making sure everything else goes smooth.”
“And Gerry is bringing his Dad at what time?”
“They should be here around four. Then guests start arriving at five. Ceremony will be at six, then dinner, drinking and the bride and groom will leave around nine for their trip.”
I giggle thinking about how we set up Helga and Gerry’s dad, Spencer, on a blind date a few months back. Helga of course refused at first, and I quickly reminded her she owed me in the blind date department and she grudgingly agreed to go for coffee with Gerry’s dad the next day.
“Life is funny.” I have snort thinking of how Helga has changed since that day. “Mom and Dad called earlier to see if there was anything else we needed.”
Since everything happened, I’d invited mom and my step-dad to come and see Barbara with me. They reluctantly agreed, but in the end, we spent a few months working together and although things are not perfect, we’ve arrived at a different sort of place and we are all trying to step forward into a more pleasant future.
“That it is.” Torin stands and starts to get dressed. “Wait here. I’ll bring up some tea and oatmeal peanut butter cookies. Just rest. I’ll be right back baby.” He finishes dressing and gives me a sweet kiss before retreating back down the steps of the loft.
Helga and Spencer have been together almost every day since their first date. He’s retired from the police force and now works with Helga at the bakery. They are having their wedding here tomorrow then flying off to Aruba for a honeymoon.
Helga even bought a bikini.
Heather and Mitchell are doing great. She just found out she is pregnant as well. Due four months after me and I’ve never seen her happier.
I work part time on the suicide prevention call center. My own issues have all but disappeared and I’m down to taking half a dose of just one of my meds a day but I see Barbara every week. I am humbled and mindful that my issues may always be there and Torin makes sure I know it is a part of me that he is more than happy to help with in any way, shape or form.
I’m still writing as well. My books have changed a bit. Matured I suppose but I’m doing better than ever and my gratitude for my career and how it fits into our lives humbles me. Imagining anyone wanting to read what I write to this day brings tears to my eyes.
I used to think what I did was frivolous. I mean, I write these silly, fantasy sort of happily ever after, love at first sight romance stories. I’m not doing anything to change the world.
When I said that to Torin one day, he told me the story of Stan Lee. The comic book guy. A quote of his about how important entertainment is in life. Without it, the days would be harder. Life would be duller. Entertaining people is valuable and bringing joy to even one person, is a gift. It changed how I thought of my work and again Torin’s calm wisdom set me straight.
Torin still loves his job. It takes up more hours than he would like but I can’t see taking him from something that is a part of him. He’s talked about starting his own private agency so who knows what the future holds.
He built a greenhouse last month and moved all his orchids here to the farm. I’ve taken quite a liking to the whole process of growing the temperamental flowers and they feel like members of the family instead of just some plants.
As I lay naked, I run my hands over my belly, feeling the movement of both the babies inside. The miracle of my life and how all the difficulties led me here leaves me in awe.
Derek and Les were both sentenced to four to eight years but truth is I have no ill will and I rarely think about any of that anymore.
What I do think about is that day I went to Lucky Charlies for number twenty-eight. I think of all the ‘what if’s’ that ran through my head as I went into the bar. Never in a million
years, could I have imagined that day would lead me here.
That day would lead me to think ‘what if’ I never met Torin?
And when I do, I know there are greater forces at work in this world than I knew. Because now that we are together, all the other ‘what if’s’ have disappeared.
Torin had a locket with a picture of us inside engraved with my catch phrase and I lay here pulling it back and forth on the chain repeating the words to myself.
When you least expect him, expect him.
Epilogue 2
Torin
Ten Years Later
I will never tire of the sounds she makes.
The way she arches her back.
The way her hands grab my hair and pull.
Sometimes it’s when I’m fucking her.
Sometimes when I’m eating her.
Sometimes, like now, it’s when I’ve unbuttoned her blouse.
Unsnapped the front of her nursing bra and she’s feeding me.
God, who knew that sucking on her tits while they are full of her sweet milk would have become my obsession. And a bit of hers as well.
She’s been pregnant for most of the last ten years and I’ve kept her amazing tits full of milk even when one of our brood wasn’t in need.
Some may find that off putting, but it is one of many things that keeps us bonded and close. We love our family. Five kids and counting but I have to say, we still put each other first. She’s more beautiful than ever and my never-ending desire for her seems to just keep growing and evolving with each passing year.
When I’m done sucking on her and we can’t ignore the pounding on our bedroom door anymore I release her nipple and rebutton her shirt.
“You good Daddy?” She looks down from her position facing me on my lap. Her eyes as blue as ever, her hair falling around her face framing her smile and rosy cheeks.
