Tiny's Hope

by E. C. Land

  “You got it, Prez,” Shock mutters as Steel nods in agreement. The two of them are our newest patch members and ironically identical twins.

  Turning my focus back to the table I bring up the main reason we’re having church this morning. “I got a call last night from Félix DeLancy requesting a meet.”

  “What the fuck is he calling for? Hasn’t his pops fucked with us enough as well as his fuckin’ cunt of a stepmother?” Ryder sneers.

  “That cunt of a stepmother is also dead at the hands of my ol’ lady after she shot me,” I snarl, hating the fact I’m even having to speak of Deanna once again.

  “What does Félix want?” Tyres asks.

  “Don’t know but he did say it was important that we speak. He’s even offered to come to the clubhouse in order to do so.” I shrug.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to have the enemy in our space,” Breaker mutters.

  “Why not neutral territory?” Pitch Black offers.

  “I suggested the same. He’s adamant he come here, said it would be easier,” I mutter. Félix went to school with the rest of us which makes it even creepier as fuck his stepmother was the same age. “I’ve told him if he comes here, he’s to be alone and unarmed.”

  “When is he wanting to meet?” Lynch asks.

  “It’ll be tomorrow evening just after dark.” I didn’t want to take the meet but for some reason I decided to see what he had to say. “In other news you’ll all be happy to know I’m finally locking Tiny to me legally,” I chuckle.

  “About fuckin’ time,” Breaker grumbles.

  “Fucker, I’m not like you and can just marry a chick on the whim.”

  “Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Marrying Nora was the best decision I’ve ever made.” He grins.

  Laughter fills the room as we finish up church. My mind switching from club business to taking my ol’ lady and twins out for a day to the zoo. Fuck if I ever thought I’d be doing something like this. But when it comes to Tiny, I can’t say ‘no’. She deserves the world.

  Chapter Four

  Tiny

  Today has been amazing. Other than keeping a major secret from Chains. One I want desperately to tell him but at the same time, I don’t want to scare him away.

  Chains has made his thoughts crystal clear in how he feels about us having another baby. It’s why he refuses to take me without a condom anymore as well as makes sure I take my pill every night before we go to bed.

  I asked him shortly after we started having sex again, once I gotten the all clear, and his response had been ‘I’m not taking the chance of going through that shit again. I can’t lose you. Not when you mean so much to me.

  I understood where he was coming from and being busy with the twins I didn’t mind. But now, I’m pregnant again and I swear the universe is laughing in my face.

  As nausea kept taking hold of me while we were out at the zoo, I had to pretty much swallow it back to keep him from noticing. Though I’m sure he didn’t miss my actions, he never does. When it comes to me or the twins, he soaks everything in.

  Either way, Chains didn’t say anything, and the kids had a blast giggling at the different animals. Brook was hysterical when we got to the crocodiles. Thanks to Bart being around she’s obsessed with them.

  By the time we pull up in front of the clubhouse I’m exhausted, and I can sense something’s on Chains’ mind. I wonder if it has anything to do with me or possibly Sera. He never told me what they’d decided to do with her. I know there’s a lot of things he doesn’t tell me due to it being club business and I’m normally okay with this. However, when it comes to Sera and our kids, it is my business and I need to know if I’ll have to deal with her myself.

  “Bitsy,” Chains murmurs, drawing my attention as he parks the truck.

  I turn my head enough to look at him. “Yeah.”

  “I know I should have told you earlier but didn’t want to ruin the day for you and the kids.” Oh God what is it? Did he change his mind about wanting to marry me? Does he know I’m pregnant again? “During church we voted to kick Sera completely out of the club. She’s no longer invited here or any of our establishments.”

  Thank God.

  “I debated in telling you this next part but I’m not gonna hide this shit from you. Sera had already been in the twins’ room when we went to put them to bed.”

  “What?” I demand on a whisper.

  “Yeah, we saw it on the security footage this morning,” he confirms.

  “Why would she do that?” I ask, starting to feel myself panic as my chest tightens.

  “I don’t know, baby, I wasn’t too worried about the answer to that. I just wanted her away from here. Away from you and the twins,” he murmurs while he reaches out to cup the side of my face.

  Nodding I lean into the warmth of his hand. I don’t know what I would ever do without this man in my life. He’s my everything and it’s why I do what I do next, hoping for the best though dreading the worse. “I’m pregnant,” I whisper, tears welling in my eyes.

  “Come again,” Chains demands his body going taut, his eyes change from loving to cold.

  “I . . . found out yesterday. I’m pregnant,” I murmur inaudible.

  Chains snatches his hand away from my face as if I’d burned him. Throws his door open and gets out. He opens the back-passenger door on his side and pulls Brook out of her car seat before I can even get out of the truck. “Get River, Sloane,” he orders coldly.

  Oh no.

  Without a word, I twist in my seat in order to release River from his car seat and pull him to the front. Thanks to the truck being lifted as it is, I’m not able to get the kids in and out without Chains help. So, I do the only thing I can. I open my door, and with River tightly in my arms, I climb out.

  “Inside,” Chains prompts from the front of the truck.

  Gee thanks for making sure I got our son out safely.

  God why did I have to tell him?

  Because I don’t like keeping anything from him. I tell him everything.

  Well mostly everything except the details of what I went through growing up and about the nightmares I’ve been having about it.

  I follow Chains into the clubhouse and silently keep up with him to the best of my ability as he stops and hands Brook to Pitch Black. He then turns to me and plucks River from my arms and hands him to Brake. “Watch them for a bit, I need to speak with my ol’ lady,” he growls, his hand coming to wrap around my wrist rather than hold my hand as he normally would.

  I keep my gaze casted down as Chains all but drags me the rest of the way to our room. He releases his grasp on my wrist as the door slams shut behind us. Standing in the middle of the room, I refuse to look up. I can feel his anger pouring off him and for the first time since we’ve been together, I fear what he might do to me. I’ve never feared this man until now.

  “You need to get rid of it.” My head snaps up at the snarling command Chains just gave me. “I’ll take you in the morning,” he sneers.

  He wants me to kill our child?

  No, I can’t do it. I won’t.

  “I told you I didn’t want to have anymore. How’d you do it Sloane? Did you sleep with someone else? Poke holes in the condoms? Fake takin’ your birth control? ‘Cause I sure as shit made sure I didn’t fuck you bare anymore.”

  I flinch at the harsh words of Chains.

  “You know don’t even bother answering me, I’m going out. I’ll be back in the morning to take you to the clinic,” he snarls.

  As the door slams shut behind him, tears spill down my cheeks while I crumple to the floor. How can he demand I do something like kill a child we made together? Let alone of me tricking him or cheating on him.

  It’s then I remember my father’s words yet again. “I’ve had the doctors test her to make sure she was indeed fertile and will be able to breed plentiful.” I remember going to the doctor multiple times before meeting Nixon to receive testing and an injection. The doct
or explained to my father that I was fertile and explained about the drug he created to make sure even if I were on contraceptives, I would become pregnant.

  Oh God this is all my fault. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? I should have remembered this all along.

  Now everything is going to hell. How did this day go from wonderful waking up in Chains arms and having him make love to me to this?

  My tears turn to sobs as I realize what I have to do. Twirling around the room, I find a piece of paper on Chains desk and a pen. I’ll explain about how I ended up pregnant and as I do so my heartbreaks even further. I’m not only losing the man I love but my twins. I wish I could take them with me but I know if I do, they’ll be in danger.

  As much as I like to think I can outrun my past I know it will catch up to me and with my dreams lately, it’s a major possibility. Maybe after the baby is born, Chains will change his mind about him or her. Though I know he’ll never want me again. I can at least hope he’ll take our child when hell opens up to swallow me whole.

  Chapter Five

  Chains

  Groaning, I roll to my side and nearly fall off the damn couch. I barely catch myself from doing a faceplant onto the floor.

  Fuck.

  I still can’t believe I slept in here rather than in my bed. Then I remember why.

  Tiny’s pregnant and I went off on her, blaming her for tricking me, and all that shit. After informing her she’s terminating the pregnancy this morning, I stormed out on her. I found Ryder and asked if he and Brielle could take the twins for the night. When he agreed, I stormed out of the clubhouse, got on my bike, and road for hours before coming back, grabbing a bottle of Beam and coming into my office. I drank until I passed out alone.

  Shit.

  I twist my neck one way then the other before standing up. I need to get some shit straightened out. One of them being setting shit straight with Tiny. I know I fucked up majorly last night and I’ve got to rectify what I caused.

  Do I want another kid? Fuck no. But I’m not able to lose my ol’ lady too.

  Pulling my phone out, I shoot a text to Ryder telling him I’ll get the twins in a little bit as I leave my office.

  As I close the door, Fuse heads in my direction concern marring his face.

  “What’s up, Fuse?” I ask him.

  “Maybe you can tell me,” he says.

  “Don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mutter, furrowing my brows.

  “Then why are you coming out of your office first thing in the morning, the twins are with Ryder at his place, and Tiny is gone.” Fuses words are like ice being thrown at me.

  “What did you say?” I demand.

  “Which part? About the fact your ol’ lady left last night?” Fuse snarls.

  Pushing past him, I storm through the clubhouse making my way to my room. No fuckin’ way would she leave the clubhouse. She’s never left without me before.

  I open the door to my room and step inside to find it empty. The bed still made from yesterday and the only light shining in the room is from the hallway.

  Where the fuck is she?

  Letting go of the doorknob, I step further into the room. My chest tightening.

  “What the fuckin’ hell is she thinkin’?” I mutter to myself. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I pull my uncle’s name back up and hit call.

  “Yeah,” Ryder says when he answers.

  “Tiny over there?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

  But what the fuck, she wouldn’t leave River or Brook.

  “No, she’s not here. You know you’re ol’ lady doesn’t leave the clubhouse. What’s going on?” I don’t give him an answer. Instead, I throw my phone against the wall with enough force it shatters. Out of my peripheral vision I notice something on the desk that catches my eye.

  I take the few steps over to the desk to find an envelope sitting there with my name on it in Tiny’s handwriting. Slowly I reach out and pick the material up as if it were going to burn me.

  Turning it over I open the back of it and pull the paper out. I unfold the paper and start scanning through the words my heart plummeting to the depths of despair.

  Darren,

  You’ll never know how truly sorry I am that I’m writing this letter to you. I hate myself for having to do so. I’m sorry I turned your life inside out. That I ended up pregnant once again when you didn’t want more kids. I don’t know maybe you didn’t want them at all but I’m not sure of many things at the moment.

  I never told you about my life growing up. I know you know some of it but not the details. You don’t know the torment I went through until I ran away at sixteen. During the last year I lived with my father he constantly took me to a doctor who injected a drug into my system to counteract any contraceptive for up to ten years. I was to be used to have children for a man I didn’t know until I either couldn’t anymore or until he killed me.

  So yes, me getting pregnant again is my fault and I accept it for what it is. It’s caused you to hate me for doing this to you. But you should know I never cheated on you, or missed a pill, let alone put holes in a condom to trick you.

  I was happy with you and our twins. God, I hate the thought of never being there with them, and I hate myself for leaving them. But I know you’ll take care of them. As I’m sure you will with this one when he or she is here.

  I left because I can’t take the thought of you looking at me the way you did tonight mere hours after showing me a love I felt deep inside my soul. Thinking I would stoop to the level of someone who wanted to trap you. I had you just the way I wanted, Darren.

  Just this morning, I said yes to marrying you. I couldn’t wait. I told you we didn’t even have to have a wedding. It didn’t matter to me long as I was with you. Now I won’t get to do that.

  Soon as the baby is born, I’ll make sure you know and will be able to bring him or her home. I know you’ll want them even if you’re done with me. You made that clear last night. All I ask is that you do the one thing I’ll never be able to do. Keep them safe from those who will eventually end up finding them if they haven’t already. And don’t worry about me. I’ll stay in the shadows for now to keep them from finding me. Once the baby is born, I make no promises as to myself. At that point I don’t care since I’ll no longer have the ones I truly want in my life.

  You and our children. Stay safe and love them always, Darren.

  Forever and always,

  Sloane

  I reread the letter several times as I digest what she’s told me. So many things I don’t understand. How does she think I don’t want her? Then it hits me. My woman left because she was scared of me for the way I spoke to her last night. I’ve never once in the past two years looked down on her or treated her like shit.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  I need to find her.

  She’s never lied to me. Not once. Shit the woman killed a bitch to save me and refused to leave the hospital until I woke up.

  So what if she’s pregnant, it just means I have another piece of her. Long as I have Tiny here with me, I can protect her from anything happening and make sure she doesn’t do something that could hurt her in the end.

  I can’t lose her.

  Not now.

  Not ever.

  She’s wrong if she thinks I don’t want her and I’ll do everything in my power to find her and bring her home. Then I’m fuckin’ marrying that woman and tying her to me in every way possible.

  With the letter still in my hand, I storm out of our room, calling out Fuse’s name.

  “Yeah, Prez,” he says, facing me from where he’s at at the bar with a mug of coffee in hand.

  “What time did she leave?” I ask.

  “Around two this morning, Tiny left on foot, heading to town,” Fuse mutters. “We going after her?”

  “No, we aren’t but I am. I’m not letting my ol’ lady who’s pregnant get away from me,” I snap, and head for the doors leading outside. With her on foot I’ll f
ind her and when I do, I’ll be making sure to bring her back where she belongs.

  With me.

  With River and Brook.

  With our family.

  I fucked up big time with her and now I need to make things right.

  Chapter Six

  Tiny

  I’ve been walking for hours, my heart shattered into a million pieces as I finally make my way into town. I’m sure I could have made it here sooner, but I didn’t have anywhere to be right away.

  Since I’m now homeless after doing the worse thing imaginable and leaving the man I love as well as my twins. God how I miss them all so much already. But for them I’m leaving. Chains doesn’t need me. I’m worthless as it is. I mean seriously this is the first time in years I’ve been out on my own and I’m scared out of my mind.

  Seeing a diner up ahead, I decide to stop in for a few minutes and get something in my stomach. I don’t have much cash but I needed something to eat while I figured out where to go. I could go back to the Devil’s Riot MC clubhouse up in Virginia, then again, Victoria would call Chains and let him know right away that I was there.

  Maybe I just need to go somewhere completely different, somewhere I can isolate myself away from the world and never be found again, like those shows about living off grid. I could do it. Possibly.

  Who am I kidding? I lived on the streets for a bit but that didn’t work out and I took haven in the Devil’s Riot MC. I’d been lucky to not have to do anything but work after I explained things to Stoney.

  I make my way across the street and into the diner. The smells of breakfast cooking assaults my nose sending a wave of nausea straight through me. Glancing around the room, I take in my surroundings noticing a long counter with stools in front of it and booths lined up against the windows.

  “Hey, darlin’, find a spot and I’ll be right with you,” the lady standing behind the counter says as she lifts her head up to smile at me.