by Blue Saffire
“I need to stop that train wreck I just left behind, but I want to know why you are here?” I demand.
“Penny called all of the junior assistants in. I just got turned around. They’re down two levels in the cafeteria,” she says awkwardly.
I shoot my assistant Penny a message to double check. She replies immediately calling Andrea a nitwit. Releasing her, I nod for the elevators.
“They’re waiting for you,” I say and turn back for my fate.
A chill runs through me as I move as fast as my feet will carry me. I’m tempted to kick off my heels and make a run for it. I have this ache in my stomach that tells me I’m too damn late.
When I hit the corner and hear my sister’s voice, all the blood drains from my face. I skid to a halt and close my eyes. I’m so fucked. I run through the list of all of my private properties, wondering which one I come get to and leave all this behind.
Shit, Nelson. I’m more loyal to you than my own family.
Nelson is the only reason I don’t turn and run from all of this and start a new life. What my husband doesn’t know is that although I respect him, I only truly no one in this life.
I’ve been securing my exit route for years. I could leave all of this behind. I have the plastic surgeon to make it all happen on speed dial.
“Listen, you’re going to tell me who you are or I’m going to cut your ass up right where you stand, old man,” Jada hisses in that mix of New York, Jersey, Latina all of my sisters have grown up with and still have.
I groan. Carrying blades in our mouths is also a family trait, Jada also walks with a switch blade. You can take the girls out the hood, but never the hood out of the girls.
Coño.
Cristóbal
If I hadn’t already seen pictures of my wife’s siblings when I dug into her background, I still would have no question whether or not this little, spicy chica is related to my Esposita. She has the same eyes, same brown skin, and the same full, foul mouth. Their family is full of gorgeous women.
I can’t help but wonder what my daughters will look like. Will they have their mother and tía’s cute nose, will they make the same cute face in anger. I’m so lost in the amusement of my thoughts, I don’t hear a thing she says until she threatens to cut me.
Knowing how fast my wife is to pull a blade from her mouth and slice someone open, I give this tiny one before me my full attention. I will not allow my thoughts to cause me to have to warm someone my wife cares for.
“Old man. Those words are starting to get on my nerves,” I scoff and mumble to myself. “I am Cristóbal.”
“I am Cristóbal,” she mocks, saying it through her nose. “What’s the fuck is that supposed to mean to me? Who are you?”
My anger flares. I know Detra has kept me a secret, but for some reason it burns deep in my blood as I face this fact now. I’m here in front of someone who should know who I am. My nostrils flare, I hear my wife yell my name just as I reveal the truth.
“Cristó!”
“I am Detra’s husband,” I say smugly.
The gasps from my wife and her sister are audible. The little one standing before me— I’m not sure which sister she is— glares at me with her mouth hanging open. Detra rushes over to her sister’s side.
“Jada, por favor, you have to keep this quiet for me. Just between tu y yo. No one will understand,” my wife pleads.
I wrap an arm around her waist and tug her back into my chest. I feel her stiffen in my hold but I don’t give a fuck. I’ve had enough of the games we’ve been playing. This just may work to my advantage.
“You’re married? Have you lost your mind? Mommy and Papi are going to kill you,” Jada says with wide eyes. “Cuando? How long have you been married?”
“It’s been nineteen years going on twenty,” I reply for Detra.
“Stop. Talking. Just…stop…talking,” she says icily.
“Ah, hell nah, you’ve been married to this old man for how long?” Jada says before she pauses. “It all makes sense. You didn’t get rich with Nelson. I’m the youngest. I watched it all. I knew it was bullshit.”
“Jada!”
“No, no, you’ve lied to everyone. We’re your family. Why? Yes, this dude has to be older than you but Papi has Mommy by nine years. I don’t think it would have been a problem. He don’t look that old.”
“Coño, I’m dying my hair,” I grumble.
Detra whips her head in my direction to glare at me. Pointing a finger at me, she says. “You will absolutely not. She’s a baby. Everyone’s old to her.”
“Excuse me, I am not a baby,” Jada huffs and pouts.
In this moment, she looks more like the younger version of Detra that arrived at my door making demanded. However, that’s not what brings a smile to my face and has my groin tightening. No, it’s the fact that my wife has acknowledged her attraction to me whether she wants to acknowledge it or not.
“Enough, I have bigger things going on,” Detra says sharply, killing my momentary satisfaction.
Nothing, and I mean, nothing should be bigger than us. Yet, she speaks of this Nelson as if he were more important than me, her husband. I don’t like it.
Rage consumes me. I want to spank Detra’s pretty round ass until she takes back the years of hiding me and putting me second when I should be first. It’s irrational. I gave her this free rein, but it infuriates me now.
“Yeah, well, that’s why I’m here. Nelson wants the access codes changed for the new systems I’ve been working on. He asked that I do it from the office on the secure computers,” Jada says, still looking curiously between Detra and I.
“Yes, I knew he would.” Detra sighs. “Wait, how do you get here so fast? I just hung up with Nelson.”
I stiffen this time. Detra told me she wanted to step out of her office to go to the restroom. Not to go call another man.
Jada’s checks start to glow. All of the tough girl from earlier melts away. She looks more like a little girl embarrassed in front of her big sister.
“I was around,” she says shyly.
“Um, sure you were,” Detra says suspiciously.
“So how long do I have to keep this a secret?” Jada says, a small grin taking over her lips as if she’s just realizing she has the power here.
These Marques sisters are something else. My hand splays my wife’s belly as I once again think of having our own niños. Jada’s eyes fall to the gesture.
“It won’t be much longer,” I reply. “I would like to finally meet all of my in-laws.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Detra bites out and steps out of my hold.
“Sí, it is. The question is, will it happen here or will they all be coming to Puerto Rico?”
“Wait, you’ve been hiding an entire husband. Old, but fine as fuck, husband in Puerto Rico all of this time?” Jada says and starts to laugh. “I can’t wait to see Mommy react to this.”
“Shut up. She’s not going to react because there will be nothing to react to. This… it’s not a real marriage. I mean, yes, I’m married to him, but it’s not real,” Detra says in exasperation.
“Sure looks real to me,” Jada chuckles under her breath.
“It is very real. Your sister can deny me all she likes,” I reach to brush my fingertips from my wife’s temple, down beneath her chin and lift so her eyes are on me. “We are undeniable. She and I were meant to be.”
I level Detra with a heat stare. I watch as her breath hitches and her breasts start to heave. The truth lies in her eyes. She knows my words are true.
“Damn,” Jada drags out. “Fuego. The way he looks at you… caliente. That shit is so hot nobody in a ten mile radius has dry panties. Oh, sis, that old man dick got —”
“Jada,” Detra seethes out in warning, turning to her sister.
“Okay, okay,” Jada giggles. “I have work to get to. It was nice meeting you, Cristóbal. I can’t wait to see you again.”
After saying the last part, she rushes
off before her sister can chide her again. Detra rounds on me with fire in her eyes. I can tell she’s pissed.
“Stop telling people you’re my husband,” she hisses.
I crowd her space and lower until we are nose to nose. I can taste her anger on my tongue. Yet, it doesn’t match my own.
“It is okay for killers across the country… all over the world to know you are my wife, but not your family? Why is this? Are you ashamed of me or you?”
She stumbles back as if my words have hit her physically. I take my own words in without the anger that clouds my mind and vision. I see something I’ve never seen before.
“You are ashamed,” I say.
It spills out from my lips like bitter poison. I don’t want to wait around for her reply. I feel a new level of betrayal as I turn and walk away.
“Cristó,” I hear her call after me, but I do not stop.
Never once did I think she was ashamed of me, of us. It rips at something so deep, I feel like I can’t breathe. And it hits me.
This is why I married my wife. So I’d never have my heart ripped out like this. Like my mother did my father.
Chapter 10
Target
Detra
I didn’t know what to say. Cristóbal’s question threw me. I never thought about how I feel about what I once felt I had to do.
Am I ashamed of my husband? No, I’m not ashamed of Cristó. He is a great man when you get to know him. He had a rough life that he keeps locked down deep.
He has shared things with me I know he has never told another. To say I’m ashamed of him would be so far from the truth. I admire him. I think he’s the strongest man I know.
I am, however, ashamed of me. I have done things to protect those that I love that I’m not so proud of. If I had to air my dirty laundry, I’d bury my head in the sand.
I could never tell my father what his actions caused me to do. I did what I felt was right to save a really fucked up situation. Yet, forming that explanation into words is harder than I ever thought it would be because I never thought about the shame I feel about the things I’ve done and would do all over again.
Without. Question.
“Cristó ,” I try as we pull up in front of Manny’s home.
“We will go inside and talk to my brother. When we are done, I will be staying here with him. You do what you need to do to secure our investments.
“I will handle some things that have been weighing on my mind about all of this,” he says, then steps out of the car without even a glance in my directions.
I swallow that lump in my throat and fight back tears. I don’t cry. I never show my weakness. And here I am wanting to burst into tears over this man again.
I nod as if he’s still sitting with me to see. Inhaling deeply, I shove it all back in. I will not fall apart. This is what I wanted.
So why does it hurt so much?
Once I compose myself, I step from the car and meet Cristó on the curb. His lips are tight and his focus remains anywhere but on me. He places a hand on the small of my back, but before I can melt into the touch, he removes the warm palm.
It seems like he places a world of distance between us. I’ve never felt so far away from him. Not even with oceans between us.
“Ah, my favorite Suarez in the world. How are you sister? You are gorgeous as ever?”
“Do you have answers for us?” Cristó cutoffs off Manny’s warm greeting with a cold tone.
“Mi hermano, what has you so uptight?” Manny asks with a frown marring his handsome face.
“I would like to get to the bottom of this. I’ll be able to return Detra to her dear friend and I can go home,” Cristó says.
I feel like a knife has just been plunged into my chest. The hollow sound in his voice is nothing like the man that talked of starting a family. The man that had been wearing me down.
“Okay, come. I have a few things I want to show you about the car,” Manny says, eyeing his brother closely.
“I have a few calls to make. This is Detra’s job. I will not get in the way. Just forward what you have so I’m aware of what’s going on in my family business,” Cristó says, before turning and leaving us.
I don’t know what I’m more hurt by, his cold shoulder or the fact that he won’t look at me. I stare at his back as he disappears into the house. I have no control over the shuddered breath I take.
“Trouble in paradise?”
“He is so stubborn. I don’t know how to give him what he is asking for. I don’t know how to express my feelings,” I whisper.
Manny tosses a hand over my shoulder and squeezes. I shag into one of the two friends I’ve ever had. Nelson and Manny… or am I wrong about that too?
“You have always been able to express your feelings with my brother. I think the problem is you don’t know how to express these feelings to him,” Manny says gently.
“I made a mistake,” I say through trembling lips. “This was never supposed to be real. I was never suppose….” I cut the words off and drag in some air.
“Ah, this is where you both had it wrong. You both wanted something other than what either of you allowed yourselves to see. It took way too long for you both to admit it to yourselves.”
“I was a kid when I met him. I didn’t know shit. I knew I’d do anything to save my family. I knew I was smart enough to figure things out as I went. All I needed was a chance. He gave me one,” I say.
“But have you ever asked yourself why?”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. No, I never did. I just keep moving forward until I fixed the world for everyone without anyone knowing. I’ve had a double life for so long I haven’t questioned a thing about it.
“Come, let’s find us a rat,” Manny says when I give no reply. “Then, we can get to the one that curled up Cristó’s butt.”
I can’t help but crack a smile. I follow my friend and try my best to shove my heart back in the box it tried to jump out of. I don’t have time for the roller coaster that’s my marriage.
I don’t like what I’m looking at one bit. I’ve gone through everything Manny has placed in front of me. I told Talina that when someone wanted to hurt Nelson they’d start with her.
Those two have barely figured out that they are in love with each other and it has started. I’m glad I ignored Nelson and started to dig into Talina’s ex. I’m learning a lot from the file on him alone.
“So he has changed his patterns since she’s been gone?” I ask.
“About a week after, he has been looking like a ghost is chasing him. He takes trips across town to Talina’s place at least twice a week,” Manny grunts.
“Do we know who’s following him?”
“No, the guys’ orders were to stay on Malcolm. The car following him is never the same and the plates are always different,” he replies.
“So he could be bringing shit to her door and he doesn’t know it,” I huff and rub the bridge of my nose.
“You got it,” he says.
“I want to know who’s in those cars. Tell your guys not to lose them again, I want to know who they belong to,” I say through tight lips.
“Do you think this is connected to Nelson?”
“Not ruling out anything. You said his phone records have him suddenly calling Talina’s sister, but they never talked much before the break up. From what Talina told me, her sister didn’t care much for him,” I reply.
“Gotcha.” Manny nods. “And what are you thinking about the service call?”
I move my hand to my temple and close my eyes. “I have no fucking idea. Nelson shouldn’t have even been using that car. He was going to loan it to me before I changed my plans to head to Puerto…” my words trail off and I open my eyes wide.
“You were supposed to be riding in that car,” Cristóbal’s voice roars at my back.
Startled I turn to find him breathing like a bull as his hard glare pins me. I don’t know how to take his reaction after earlier. He’s
vibrating with rage.
Faster than I can register the action, he has his phone in hand and at his ear. His jaw ticks as he waits for whoever to pick up. His free hand clenches and unclenches at his side.
“I have changed my plans again,” he says into the phone. “No,” he barks. “I will not be returning home. I will be where I’m needed until this bullshit is resolved.”
His nostrils flare and his eyes narrow as he listens to the voice on the other end. His face starts to turn bright red with anger. His hand shoots up to tug at his tie.
“You have questioned me for the last time,” he says in a deadly calm and hangs up.
“We could be here forever making a list of people that want you out of the way,” Manny sighs, with frustration and anger in his voice.
“Then, we will be here forever,” Cristó snarls. “I want a list of everyone that would have known about her travel plans. I want to know who feels comfortable enough to aim for my wife.”
A shiver runs through me. Something in the way he says the words takes on a new meaning. I don’t want to dig too deeply so I turn my attention to Manny and the grim look on his face.
Who wants me dead? Ha! Everyone.
Cristóbal
“I don’t like this,” I say as we enter Detra’s New York condo.
“I’m tired. I don’t want to get on a plane tonight. This is not my primary residence. Few know about it,” she says, sighing and rubbing the back of my neck.
“I don’t mean the place.”
“Then what?”
“Tell me again. How do you think the ex-boyfriend is connected to you?” I asks for the millionth time.
I know she’s getting aggravated with the question. I also know that sometimes we can miss the little things. Asking repeatedly will yield an answer eventually.
“I told you already. I’m not so sure he is connected now that I believe the target is me,” she replies.
