by Cheryl Holt
“You’re simply stirring painful memories from when it first happened.”
“Yes, I’m certain that’s it.”
“Why haven’t you visited over the years?” she asked him.
“Edwina and my grandfather used to drag me to the church to be counseled by the vicar. I was such an impossible boy, and they couldn’t manage me. The vicar was an elderly, grouchy ass, and I was very disrespectful to him. He finally demanded they not bring me back.”
She snorted. “The vicar banished you? You must have been horrid.”
“I was. I didn’t want to live at Selby, and I didn’t understand what death meant. I wanted to live with my parents, and my father had told me to always watch over my…”
His voice trailed off, and she inquired, “Watch over your…what?”
“I was going to say my sisters again. He ordered me to protect my…sisters? He worried they’d have a difficult life and would always need me, but…I have no idea what I’m talking about.” He pressed a hand to his temple. “My head is throbbing so violently I feel as if it might explode.”
“I’m not surprised. All of this has been incredibly taxing for you, and you’re not in the best physical condition these days.”
“I’m hale enough,” he claimed.
“Aren’t you the man who was attacked by enraged natives, stabbed repeatedly, and left for dead?”
“Yes.”
“Will you ever tell me how you survived or how you made it home?”
He scoffed. “I’m quite sure not.”
“Can I send you back to the manor? You should have a nap, then let the servants dote on you. Your headache will diminish if you rest for a bit.”
“I’ll return to the manor if you’ll come with me.”
“I am chaperoning Susan who’s off with Trevor. I can’t depart until they’re ready to go.”
“You are her chaperone?” He peered around at the empty graveyard. “You’re not doing a very good job.”
“I’ve never been able to command her.”
“Is she sweet on him?”
“She insists she’s not.”
“It will throw a wrench in her marriage to Percy if she keeps sneaking off with Trevor.”
“You’re preaching to the choir, Lord Selby.”
“It’s Nathan, remember?”
“Yes, I remember, but I can’t force myself to call you that.”
“Trevor is much nicer than Percy. I can see why she’d prefer him.”
“Don’t joke about it!” she scolded.
“Who’s joking?”
Trevor and Susan took that moment to stroll down the cemetery path. They were walking arm in arm, and Susan’s cheeks were flushed, her eyes sparkling. She looked like a girl who was enjoying her first genuine flirtation. Gad, she looked like a girl who was falling in love.
Nell casually slid away from Lord Selby, hoping Susan and Trevor hadn’t noticed how they were snuggled together, but who could guess what they’d observed?
“Let me introduce you to Susan,” she said to him.
“Must I be?”
“Yes, and don’t be a beast about it.”
“If it will make you happy, I’m thrilled to proceed.”
They spun away from his father’s grave and went to greet his cousin.
“Nathan! Nathan!” Trevor gushed. “You have to meet Percy’s betrothed. I don’t think you have.”
“No,” Lord Selby said. “I haven’t had the pleasure.”
Nell watched him carefully, as if a scientific experiment was about to unfold. He seemed so detached from the day to day world, as if he had no connections or ties to bind him. Rumors swirled too that he’d forgotten how to act in a social manner, but she hadn’t noted any lack of decorum.
He was very cordial to Susan, very suave, behaving like the rich, sophisticated aristocrat he was and giving no hint that he’d lived such an odd life.
Susan was obviously charmed by him—who wouldn’t be?—but she kept casting furtive glances at Nell, curious as to why he’d shown up at the church just as they were there too. Nell could only shrug.
She had no explanation as to why he’d arrived. He’d claimed to have stumbled on her by accident, but she had no idea if that was true or not. It was too exhilarating to picture him discovering her gone and trotting out in search of her. She wouldn’t convince herself it was the case. That was the road to disaster.
“We’re about to return to the manor,” Trevor said to him once their small talk had waned. “Will you ride with us?”
Nell blanched. She couldn’t help it. If she pulled up to the manor in a carriage with Nathan Blake, she might as well build a guillotine and chop off her head.
Before he could reply, she rushed to insist, “Lord Selby is much too busy to tarry with us. He’s out for his own ride, and we’ve interrupted him. We should permit him to continue on.”
He stared at her and, with a terrifying amount of mischief in his gaze, he said, “Actually, I’m weary this afternoon, and I’ve decided to return too. I’d be delighted to accompany you.”
“Wonderful!” Trevor was practically beaming. “Let’s be off then.”
He took Susan’s arm, and they sauntered toward the church. Lord Selby extended his arm to Nell, and she glared at it.
“You’ll be the death of me,” she whispered.
“Yes, but what a way to go.”
“I doubt you’ll be worth it.”
“I doubt I will be too,” he said, “but imagine the fun you’ll have as you march to your doom.”
She bristled with irritation, clasped hold, and they sauntered off too.
* * * *
Nathan rounded a corner and bumped right into Nell who was hurrying along with her usual enthusiasm.
“Oh, pardon me!” she said, apparently not recognizing him and assuming he was another house guest.
He grinned at her. “We have to stop meeting like this.”
“Lord Selby? My goodness.” She gestured to his clothes. “What have you done to yourself?”
“I’ve merely cleaned up a bit.”
“If you tell me you’re off to be presented to the King, I will absolutely believe it.”
They were in an upper hall at the manor. She’d come up the stairs as he was about to go down. For a change, he was dressed in his finest attire: a blue velvet coat, tan trousers, knee-high black boots that had been polished to a shine.
He didn’t have a valet, but Dobbs had sent up a footman who was anxious to be promoted someday. He’d tied Nathan’s cravat in an intricate knot, the Belgian lace adding to his glamorous exterior.
The boy had also shaved him and trimmed his hair so he didn’t appear to be such a heathen. It was neatly restrained with a black ribbon. He looked like the important man he was. He looked like one of the most notorious noblemen in England, from one of the oldest families. He looked like a man on a mission.
She must have just been outside. She was wearing her straw bonnet, her cheeks rosy, her eyes radiant.
“What have you been up to?” he asked her.
“I went to check on my decorations at the gate. The flowers have all wilted, so I took them down. I’ll put up some new ones tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to decorate my gate.”
“I like to do it, and you have cousins arriving in the afternoon.”
“Oh, goodie,” he sarcastically muttered.
“I’m determined that the place be festive for your company.”
“I don’t care if it’s festive.”
“Of course you don’t. You’re a stick in the mud who’s a grouch and a complainer, but it’s not your wedding. It’s Percy’s and Susan’s, and I want it to be perfect for them. Your opinion is irrelevant.”
“Even if it’s my house?”
“Even if,” she saucily retorted.
He breathed a contented sigh.
He was so enchanted by her, and it was obvious there were mysterious forces at work, drawing
him to her almost against his will. Where would it end? The answer to that question was extremely disturbing.
She was hoping to eventually live at Selby with Susan Middleton, and he didn’t mind that arrangement. The mansion was a huge monstrosity and one more person would make no difference, yet when he thought about her being in residence, his pulse raced with gladness.
What was he planning? He didn’t have friendships with females. Nor was he prepared to wed, and even if he was, he’d never pick a candidate with no dowry and no antecedents. She was a respectable young lady, so he could never suggest they have an affair or she be his mistress.
There was no role she could play in his life, but he wanted her in it desperately. It was an insane notion though and couldn’t be rationally implemented. Why trifle with her? Why flirt? It was cruel to lead her on, and she dabbled with him at her peril.
“Where are you off to in such a magnificent condition?” she inquired.
“My aunt has summoned me, and I figured I should show up in my full regalia.”
“You need to impress her?”
“Yes. She’s been haranguing at me since I was six. She still thinks of me as a child, so she forgets who’s in charge here.”
“That would be you?”
“Yes. That would be me.”
“Don’t you dare fight with her.”
“I always fight with her. We have too much bad history, so we never politely converse.”
“I hate to hear that.”
“I’ll find you later—to apprise you of how it went.”
“How much later?” She leaned in and frantically whispered, “You can’t sneak into my bedchamber again. You have to promise you won’t.”
“I never make promises I’m not sure I can keep.”
He winked and continued on, and as he marched down the stairs, he realized how much he’d calmed just from talking to her. How did she accomplish such a feat? Was she a sorceress? Had she cast a magic spell to entice him? He felt quite bewitched.
He reached the foyer and proceeded to the library. After he’d returned from the church with Trevor, Susan, and Nell, he’d received a curt command from Edwina to confer with her immediately.
Her order had greatly irked him, and he’d clipped her wings by forcing her to wait two hours while he’d bathed and dressed. Because he was rarely home, people ignored his true position. Edwina was the worst of the lot, and it was time to exercise a bit of his authority.
If she didn’t like it, she was free to leave Selby at her earliest convenience. Her most loyal servants were welcome to leave with her.
He strolled into the ostentatious room. It was small, but very grand. Three walls had bookshelves filled with books that rose to the ceiling. The fourth wall at the end was all glass, and it faced the park. A massive oak desk was situated in front of it. It was the Earl’s desk—his desk—and Edwina was in the chair behind it.
Another woman was wedged in the chair across. She was about Edwina’s age of fifty, gray-haired and very chubby, and he suspected he was about to officially meet Mrs. Middleton.
There was an empty chair next to her as if they presumed he would sit in a lesser spot and let Edwina keep the place of higher prestige. Clearly, she’d failed to recollect how impossible he could be when he was aggravated. They hadn’t yet spoken a single word, and they were already on a collision course.
Aggravating him further, they didn’t stand as he entered. Edwina peered down her long nose and said, “Ah, here’s Nathan now. Finally.”
The other woman peeked over her shoulder and looked him up and down in a rude way. Her assessment was galling. He’d previously decided—that evening on the verandah—that he loathed her, and she’d just confirmed his prior opinion.
“Nathan,” Edwina said, “we’re being joined today by Mrs. Middleton. She’s the bride’s mother. I’d like to introduce you—if I may.”
Nathan didn’t acknowledge Mrs. Middleton, but walked past her and rounded the desk.
“Move!” he barked at Edwina.
She glared up at him and nearly refused, but his stern glower prevented any foolishness. She slid away and slithered to the vacant chair they’d reserved for him. He stood until she plopped down, then he seated himself. It was petty conduct, and he was behaving like a beast, but he didn’t care how they viewed it. They didn’t have to stay.
There was a reason Edwina had insisted on the appointment, and with Mrs. Middleton being present, he figured he knew what it was. He’d have been observed returning to the manor with Nell, and a servant had tattled.
Before Edwina could steer the discussion in the direction she hoped it would go, he started instead.
“Hello, Mrs. Middleton.” He briskly nodded at her.
“Lord Selby, I’m delighted to make your acquaintance. You have such a lovely home, and we’re honored to be your guests. We’re thrilled that Susan is marrying Percy, and with all your relatives about to arrive, we’re so glad we can—”
He held up a hand, stopping her. If he’d let her continue, he wondered how long she’d have babbled.
“I have a comment to share,” he told them, “then if either of you would like to respond, I’ll listen briefly, but I suggest you tread cautiously. I’m seriously annoyed, and when we’re finished, I will expect both of you to beg my pardon.”
Mrs. Middleton blanched, and Edwina sniffed with affront, then demanded, “What are you talking about?”
“I intend to be very blunt. Selby Manor is mine, and I am lord and master here, so I will not be lectured over any issue. I will not have you telling me who I can have as friends—and who I can’t.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” Edwina huffed.
“Did you—or did you not—have Mrs. Middleton scold Miss Drummond for becoming cordial with me?”
They squirmed and flashed nervous glances at one another, each of them afraid to reply and wishing the other would jump into the breach.
To his surprise, Mrs. Middleton was the braver of the pair. “We were a little worried about Nell. She’s shy, and she’s been very sheltered.”
“She’s twenty-two, and she seems very smart and sophisticated to me. She doesn’t have a sheltered or shy bone in her body.”
“That’s as may be”—Mrs. Middleton nodded obsequiously—“but we simply…ah…we noticed a bit of fondness developing between you. Nell’s never had a beau, and it would be easy for her to get in over her head.”
Edwina tepidly added, “We weren’t trying to upset you.”
“You always upset me,” Nathan snapped at her, and he shifted his attention to Mrs. Middleton. “Thank you for voicing your concern about your ward. I trust she won’t be chastised by you again because of me?”
“No, no,” Mrs. Middleton hastily claimed. “I’m happy to see young people socializing.”
“If I choose to walk with her in the garden, if I choose to take her on a carriage ride, if I sit next to her in the breakfast parlor, you will not complain about it. Have I made myself clear?”
“Crystal clear.”
Her lips were pressed in a tight line as she swallowed down her fury. He doubted she was berated very often, and he shouldn’t have criticized her, but he had no patience for female nonsense.
“Marvelous,” he said. “Now then, would you please excuse us? My aunt and I have some personal topics to address.”
“We were…ah…I…I…we were going to…”
Mrs. Middleton frowned at Edwina, and Edwina shrugged, indicating that whatever conversation they’d planned, it wouldn’t be held. She stood and stomped out, leaving Nathan alone with Edwina.
He studied her caustically, the silence heavy with discord, then he raged, “How dare you attempt to admonish me as if I were a child. And in front of a stranger too!”
Edwina was no coward. She could hurl a barb as well as be stung by one. “Who should speak up when your conduct is egregious? Someone had to mention what was occurring.”
“Not you, E
dwina, and if I discover in the future that the servants are tattling to you about me, they’ll lose their jobs. You should think about that when you huddle in the corner and gossip.”
“Are you sweet on that girl? Is that what you’re telling me?”
“If I am or if I’m not, it’s none of your business.”
“Not my business!” she seethed. “Am I to twiddle my thumbs while you ruin her? Right before Percy’s wedding too! Will you foment a big scandal prior to the ceremony? I won’t let you.”
“I am not about to ruin Miss Drummond.”
“We better hope not.”
“Stop nagging about it. Stop conferring with Mrs. Middleton. Don’t raise the issue with her again. Or with me. I won’t listen to either of you.”
“Swear to me that you have no wicked designs on Miss Drummond. Swear it and mean it.”
Nathan bristled with annoyance. He had numerous wicked designs with regard to Nell, but if he was lucky, he’d manage to restrain himself, and after the wedding, she’d return to London unscathed. But he wouldn’t debate it with Edwina. Nor would he allow Edwina to set any rules as to how he should act. She’d been lording herself over him for two decades, and he was weary of it.
He deftly changed the subject. “I visited the cemetery at the church today.”
“You haven’t answered me. Will you promise to stay away from that girl?”
“No.”
Edwina gasped. “You openly admit that you’re contemplating bad behavior?”
“No. I’m merely finished discussing her with you, and I’ve moved on to a new topic.”
“Fine. You visited the cemetery. What of it?”
“My mother’s headstone is wrong.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Her name and date of death are incorrect.”
“They couldn’t be. Your grandfather commissioned the stone himself. He wouldn’t have permitted the engraver to make a mistake.”
“It lists her as Angela, but my mother’s name was Mary.”
Edwina scoffed. “Mary was your nanny, Nathan. Your father hired her after your mother died. I’ve explained that fact a thousand times. I wish you’d remember it so we don’t have to plow this field over and over.”
