by Anne Conley
“Man, why don’t you just fuck her out of your system? Or let her fuck you out of her system?” Zane had made the suggestion before, and as usual, Logan turned his dagger stare at him.
“Why don’t you mind your own goddamn business?” His warning growl was enough to make a lesser man back down, but Zane had never had any sense.
“I’m serious. She obviously has something for you. Throw the poor girl a bone.” He was full of the puppy analogies tonight.
“Fuck off.”
Jude, thankfully, changed the subject. “Annette’s been acting really weird lately, and I don’t know what’s up.”
Since Logan and Zane were in some weird stare-down, Joey answered. “Weird how?”
Jude shrugged. “She’s quieter than normal, which means I haven’t heard her say more than two words in a week. And she’s started eating all this weird salad and shit. Not like just salad, but salad with pickle relish on it and this really gross homemade dressing. And she’s quit drinking. Like … completely. And she sleeps a lot, and this morning, she spent a stupid amount of time in the bathroom …” He blanched as his words trailed off. “Fuck. Me. Could she be pregnant? Why wouldn’t she fucking tell me that?”
Joey leaned forward. “Would you want her to be? Maybe that’s why she’s acting weird. Because she doesn’t know how you’ll feel about it?”
Zane laughed, glad Logan was finished staring him down. “Aren’t you Dr. Phil?”
Jude stood and reached for his wallet, tossing some bills on the table. “I gotta go.”
Zane called to his retreating form, “Catch you later, Daddy!”
Joey slumped down in his seat. “I have a thing to do with Carly later this week. Her dad can’t make it to the Daddy/Daughter Dance at the KC Hall, and she asked me to take her.”
Logan sat up. “Do you like that stuff?”
Biting his lip in thought, Joey shrugged. “Yeah, I do. I mean, I like the firefighting business because I like helping people and making sure they’re safe. But it’s different with Vivian and Carly. The actually need me. Not like they can’t survive on their own, but Carly’s dad’s been in the picture a matter of months, and I feel great that I’m the one she comes to when she has a choice about it, you know? And V’s just fucking fantastic. I love everything about her, especially Carly.”
“Then why the fuck are you here with us?” Logan finished off his beer and stood. “I’ve got shit to do. Catch you boys later.”
Logan was standoffish on a good day, but he was the number-one man Zane wanted at his back on a job. The dude had skills and experience Zane didn’t completely understand. For the life of him, he couldn’t imagine what Katie saw in him, but love was weird. Look at him and Lettie.
She’d turned him away at every turn, even after the mind-blowing night they’d shared, but he was still coming back for more. Glutton for punishment. Maybe he and Katie weren’t so different after all.
Joey stood. “He’s right. I’m getting home to my girls. See you Thursday?”
“Yeah, sure.” Zane could go home, see his house, and maybe spend some time with Lettie, but for some reason this made his stomach clench. He wasn’t sure he was up to seeing what sort of shape his house was in.
If he were being honest, though, all this shit about his house was just a front. He was terrified of Lettie rejecting him. Again.
Chapter Fourteen
When Zane opened his front door, a lone pup let out a small growl, which quickly led to a cacophony of barks and howls announcing his entrance.
“Shhhh,” he whispered with no effect. “I live here.” Shushing everything, even the ones he couldn’t see, he made his way to his bedroom, trying not to peer into the darkness at the damage to his house. He comforted himself knowing he had helped these mongrels. The shelter was fine. They could easily go back now.
So why weren’t they back yet?
He tiptoed around his own damn house, trying to quiet everyone, but he eventually just gave up and went into his room.
Lettie and Otis were in Zane’s bed, asleep.
Lettie was either sleeping through the ruckus or ignoring it and pretending to sleep so she didn’t have to talk to him. That last thought hit him hard, twisting his gut. Why was she avoiding him? This was exactly why he hadn’t come earlier and chose to stay at the station and work. Lettie was being weird about the sex.
Zane stripped to his underwear and slipped under the covers next to Lettie. He couldn’t resist pulling her curves into his arms because they just felt right. As much as he would like to right now, he didn’t have to have sex with her, but he did need to hold her.
Whether she liked it or not.
Lettie kept up her ruse, pretending to sleep or whatever, but she didn’t protest when he pulled her into him. She even curled her body a bit to fit into his embrace. At least some part of her realized this is where she belonged.
Zane had worked the wildfire all day yesterday, then spent last night in the bunks at the fire station. Today had been a full day, with various traffic accidents and one elderly man who’d gotten stuck in a tractor wheel, but other than that it had been a pretty slow day. Still, he was tired. He’d almost fallen asleep in his drink at Mo’s.
And Lettie felt good in his arms.
Lettie was tired of not sleeping. She’d managed a little when Zane had come home, despite the noise level when he’d entered the house. The dogs had mostly settled down, though, by the time he’d gotten to his bedroom, but she’d pretended to sleep because she didn’t know what to say.
What did you tell a guy who was bending over backward to accommodate your issues after you’d done the walk of shame from this very house?
She’d dozed a little though. His arms and the heat off his chest against her back had just felt so damn good. But it wasn’t her usual sleeping position and she missed splaying across his fantastic mattress. But it was his mattress after all. And she’d displaced him. As long as they weren’t muddying things up with sex, she couldn’t turn him down when he wanted to spoon.
Confused by her own conflicts and issues, Lettie snuck out of bed right before daylight. She tried not to think about how awesome Zane had felt wrapped around her body all night. She certainly didn’t remember how pissed he’d been last time she’d snuck out of his bed before the crack of dawn. Instead, she reminded herself of all the work she had to do to get the animals back in the shelter.
Today was the day she was allowed back in to clean and then work on straightening up the disaster that was Zane’s house. She would go and clean the smoke smell out so the dogs wouldn’t freak out, and then she’d start moving them back into their kennels. Surely, she could get that done today.
And then she would be finished with this stuff with Zane and let him move on to someone else.
She dressed as quickly as she could and let a batch of dogs outside. She wrote a note for Becca, who was supposed to be here at 7:30, then drove over to the shelter.
She started in the dog kennel, opening the windows on either end, and began the hosing process. There were drains in this concrete room, and she figured if she could get this room finished—the largest one in the building—she would feel a sense of accomplishment.
Lettie wasn’t there long before Katie showed up with reinforcements. Two women and a little girl Lettie had never seen before walked in behind her carrying buckets, brushes, and bags of cleaning supplies. Tears of gratitude came to her eyes at the sight.
Katie introduced them all. “Lettie, this is Annette, Vivian, and Carly. My friends.”
The tall blonde stepped forward and held out a hand. “Hi. I’m Annette, Jude’s girlfriend. He brought home a bunch of dogs I need to get back here,” she said, laughter in her voice. “I’m getting too attached, and we’re not in a place where we can have a bunch of dogs. One, yes, but it has to be go
od with babies soon.” She blushed as she said that last part, and Vivian—the petite, dark-haired woman—gasped.
“You’re pregnant? Congratulations! Life as you know it will never be the same.” The two women hugged, and Lettie just stood there awkwardly.
“Um, well, I was going to use a bunch of bleach in here to get the smell out. The dogs are used to the bleach smell but not the smoke smell, so I don’t know if you’ll be able to work in here in that condition.”
“No worries. I brought a ton of vinegar and baking soda. Katie said it was the smell we’re washing out and it works great and isn’t bad for the baby.”
“Does Jude know?” Nobody cared about the work that had to get done today so she could give Zane’s house back to him. The help Katie had brought was too interested in what was apparently big news. Lettie tried not to roll her eyes as she busied herself and got to work. Truth was, she was overwhelmed these women had come to her rescue. That made them friends, and she’d never had that before.
“Jude figured it out last night. He was pissed I didn’t tell him, but he’s happy about the baby, so we’re working it out.” Annette pulled a long-handled brush out of the bag she carried. “I think if we make a mixture and brush it on the walls, since they’re cinder block, that would work, yes?”
“Or spray the vinegar and then put the baking soda on that so it will stick?” Katie offered, ever-helpful. Lettie tried not to let the Skype debacle color her good feelings about Katie’s support right now.
They made a vague plan and got to work. Annette sprayed vinegar on the walls from a tank sprayer, Carly threw baking soda all over the walls, and Vivian used the brush to scrub. The reaction from the two elements was fun for Carly to watch, and she oohed and ahhed over the process. Katie went behind everyone and hosed it all off.
After a while of working, Katie, who clearly couldn’t be serious about anything, decided they’d made enough progress.
“You guys are too solemn.” Turning the hose on the girls in the group, she opened fire, drenching them all.
“You are too freaking funny all the time.” Vivian turned her brush on Katie and swiped it down her front, leaving a foamy mess in her wake.
In a matter of moments, they were in an all-out water war, fighting over the hose, laughing and giggling while Annette wrestled the brush from Vivian. They were all soaked, sudsy, and reeking of vinegar, their shrieks filling the air, when the door banged open and was suddenly filled with men.
Familiar, slack-jawed, shocked men.
Giant, muscle-bound men who had all been at her house to foster dogs and cats to take the load off Zane’s house. She’d met them but hadn’t really thought she would see them again. What were they doing here?
“What the hell is going on here?” Jude yelled. “Annette, you’ll get hurt! It’s slippery as hell in here.”
Zane had laughter in his eyes. “You girls shooting a porno?”
Lettie looked down at herself and saw what he saw. Her white t-shirt—one out of a zillion packages of eight that she owned—was drenched, showing off everything she had. Puckered nipples from the cold air and her pink lace bra were all on display.
Joey chuckled to himself before going over to Vivian and pinching Carly’s nose, taking the brush and continuing the work.
Annette was spluttering excuses to Jude, who simply beamed at her.
The way these two were looking at their women like they could do no wrong was startling to Lettie. But when she looked back at Zane, he was looking at her that way too.
There was something else as well. His eyes held desire under the amusement and good humor that sent a warmth through her body. As if he could tell, his gaze intensified, all humor suddenly gone.
He held out his hand.
Lettie took the steps necessary to broach the distance. He’d offered his body, his house, and now his hand. What the fuck did that mean? She didn’t care. She was taking it.
His grip tightened when she slipped her hand in his, and without a backward glance, Zane took her out of the doorway and into the only room without windows to the rest of the building. It was the “hospital” room, where the vet made her visits each week, shots, sterilizations, and check-ups. But now, the privacy the room afforded them was anything but clinical.
“We need to talk.” He turned to her, dropped her hand, and absently picked up a random, half-filled water bottle.
Lettie sat in the only chair in the small room and put her elbows on the operating table. “Okay. You’re probably right.”
“My house is a disaster.” His eyes twinkled, but she heard the seriousness in his voice.
“I’m sorry.” And she was. She was truly sorry about the damage done to his home. But she didn’t think that’s what this was about. His massive frame towered over hers, not because he was close or anything, but the office was so small. “I’ll go in tomorrow and start fixing what I can.”
“I gave you my house for the animals because I was trying to make a gesture.” He spoke softly, and it confused her.
“What gesture?”
“I was trying to show you this wasn’t just about the sex for me. But then, you never called. You’re sneaking out of my house while I’m sleeping, which tells me this is just about the sex for you.” He was absently spinning the water bottle on its side on the tabletop next to her as if he needed something to do with his hands. He chewed his gum, the cinnamon odor filling the small area and covering up the heavy smoke smell that permeated everything. “Or you’re scared.”
But his words were heavier.
Stupidly, Lettie focused on the only thing he’d said that made sense. “You never called me either.”
The bottle stopped spinning, the lid pointing straight at her. Suddenly, images of the two of them together sprang to her mind, and she let them flow over her for a moment.
Could this be more for him?
“You said you judged men by how they kiss.”
“My relationships with them, yes.”
“And our first kiss ended badly, so you think we’ll end badly, is that right?” Her eyes were focused on the water bottle, the white, plastic lid glaring against the stainless steel tabletop. She could only nod. “Look at me, Lettie.”
She did, and he was mad. Red splotches colored his cheeks and his eyes spat fire. “Give me a fucking chance here. Let me screw it up legitimately. I promise, I’ll do my damnedest not to, but if I do, I’ll do it spectacularly. Don’t just assume I’m going to mess things up and let it end in you not giving us a shot at something amazing.”
Something amazing …
She knew they could be amazing in bed. Zane had been wonderful on their date and even gave up his house for all the animals to destroy.
She looked back at the bottle. It was pointing at her, as if it had chosen her. The old game, Spin the Bottle, came to mind, and she knew she was reaching. But if the bottle had chosen her for Zane, she had to kiss him, right?
Instead of kissing him and making everything better, Lettie thought too hard, opened her mouth, and fucked it all up.
“What about seeing you with other women when we break up? Because it will happen.” She understood the absurdity of the words as soon as they left her mouth, but it was a valid concern for her, especially after Katie practically called him a man-whore. There was no way a woman like her could satisfy a man like him for very long.
Zane’s eyes darkened dangerously, and he yanked her up by her upper arms. Caging her in, he put his hands on the table behind her.
“Let me explain a few things to you. That restaurant I took you to? I’ve never taken a woman there before. The night you came home with me? That’s never happened either. I’ve never brought a woman home with me. I’m not gonna lie and tell you I haven’t slept with my share, but I expect you have too, and I have yet to throw th
at shit back in your face. Now stop expecting me to do or not do something. Just let us be.”
He was right about that. There had been others, but there had never been anyone like Zane. Nobody like Zane.
His mouth crashed down on hers before she could answer him, and suddenly everything changed. His words thundered in her head, louder than Katie’s. We could be amazing together. And with his mouth on hers, owning her, consuming her, she had no doubts.
Let us be.
Was that really what he wanted? Did he want to be with her? Like, for real? If she believed his words, then yes. And had he ever lied to her? Not that she knew of.
As he kissed her, his lips moving over hers, his tongue tasting her as if she were a delicacy, she had to just let go. Lettie was tired of fighting him. She was tired of fighting this man who kissed her so gently, like she were precious, like they had something besides just sex between them.
She was going to see what happened. She was worth this. She could do this. This could be big. Huge, even.
Zane moved his hands to her hips, gripping them possessively, and she couldn’t deny the heat that flared between her legs.
“Turn around,” he murmured between kisses, and she complied, utterly beholden to him. She would do whatever he said. Period.
His hands were at her pants, unbuttoning the button and unzipping the zipper. She helped him wrench the wet jeans to her ankles and stepped out of one leg, spreading herself wide.
Zane bit her shoulder before plunging his fingers inside her depths. “You’re wet for me. That is so hot.”
His fingers continued their work on her, bringing her places she didn’t realize he could in this tiny office space. When she finally heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper then felt his hands on her hips, tightening painfully, she knew he was right. About everything.
They came together with a chorus of groans and it was amazing.
He stretched her and started pounding in and out, and Lettie was lost to the sensations of the two of them together. The fire raged within her, spreading out from her pelvis, where Zane was smashing into her, through her thighs and belly and up higher. A knocking noise sounded somewhere, and she assumed it was the table he was banging her against.
