by Jessica Leed
The pain had been so excruciating, there were days she could barely walk. The daily battle of swollen legs and stabbing pains, robbed her from her contract as quickly as it came. And just like that, every dream she had of becoming a professional dancer, was over. It had left her devastated, broken and empty.
Over the years she had slowly disconnected from the dance world, to the point where she could no longer place her finger on the last time she had seen any sort of show. It hadn’t been intentional. Well, not really. She had just changed over the years, and so had her interests.
Dance was a part of her past and she was content without it.
The thought crossed her mind to head back to Aringdale for a decent visit after all these years. Even though time had a way of standing still in the small country town, she knew that there would be a new generation of dancers she hadn’t seen. Never mind the fatigue and exhaustion wrapped around her brain, she made the decision in that moment to go. Some time away from the city and Patrick would do her good.
It would do them both good.
Besides, she was sure he would be thankful to be left alone where he could drink freely, without her constant monitoring.
‘Hiding out in the classroom, are we?’
There he was, standing at the classroom door posing like a mannequin in a bay window of a suit store. She wondered if Damian could ever be just, well … natural. Always staged, always posed, she didn’t know how he had the energy to keep it up.
She glanced at her watch noticing that intermission was almost over. The second lot of interviews would begin in just ten minutes. She had gone over. She groaned, feeling her stomach react at the same time. She hadn’t realised how hungry she was. It had been another one of those days where there had been no time to eat.
She smiled at him, yet careful in her expression. ‘It appears that way!’ She came out from behind her desk keen to make a dash to the staff room to grab whatever food remained. ‘I need to learn to keep to a better time schedule.’
He grinned at her as he sifted his weight from the door frame and to her surprise, uncovered a plate from behind his back. He looked as smug as ever. ‘In the short time I have known you Henderson, I have been quick to notice how little you eat.’
Sure enough, the plate was stacked full of snacks. She took it graciously, feeling her stomach rumbling as the smell of party pies and pastries coiled her hunger.
If only she could eat one of them.
She needed a healthier option. Maybe if she quickly went downstairs she could grab a piece of fruit or throw together a sandwich or something. She looked at the plate then up at him, she wouldn’t be rude and refuse the gesture. She would just have to suck it up. She pushed away Patrick’s controlling thoughts and sank her teeth into a meat pie. Nothing had ever tasted so good. She must look like some starving animal as she scoffed it down, any sense of self-consciousness going straight out the window. She didn’t have time to care, yet Damian clearly found the sight amusing as a series of chuckles escaped his lips.
‘If this is what it takes for you to eat then I’ll happily bring something in for you every day of the week.’
She swallowed down hard on the cheese and ricotta puff she had hardly chewed.
It hurt.
‘I’m not that bad.’
He rested himself on the edge of her desk, positioning himself at eye level with her. ‘I’m starting to feel like your man doesn’t look after you very well.’
Her entire body tensed up. Why did he always find a way to bring up her personal life?
‘He looks after me. It’s me not looking after myself, that’s the problem,’ she joked. She took another look at her watch. Five minutes until the next parent would arrive, with Nolan’s parents scheduled for the last appointment for the night. She was actually praying that they will show up, although knowing they probably wouldn’t.
‘Well, you should probably do something about that before you fade away to nothing.’
She let out a grunt.
He tilted his head and let out a cheeky smile. ‘Don’t worry, you’re still sexy.’
She stared at him.
How was she even supposed to respond to that?
‘What do you two have planned for the break?’ He situated his body almost horizontal on the table with only an elbow propping him up.
With nervous eyes she scanned the room, hoping her colleagues were nowhere near to misinterpret the scene.
She was in the all clear.
She took a cupcake and slowly peeled back the paper wrapper. ‘No plans as yet. I’m thinking of heading back home to spend some time with the parents. What about yourself?’
He smiled at her, his eyes lingering on hers a little longer than usual. She gave him a blank look, ignoring the anxiety surfacing inside of her. He sank down even lower, releasing his elbow that had elevated him onto some kind of angle.
He was horizontal now.
‘I’m sure they would love that. Will Patrick be joining you?’
She shook her head, sheltering her mouth with her hand as she chewed. He propped himself back up and she felt herself relax.
He leant over and studied the ring on her finger. ‘And when is this finally happening?’
‘We haven’t set a date.’ She shrugged. ‘We’re not in any rush.’ It was a line she had used a million times by now. She would get married tomorrow if she had any say in it. But she wasn’t about to tell him that. She really didn’t want to encourage him.
He reached for her hand, tilting his head as he admired the solitaire diamond that still held its shine. ‘It’s a beautiful ring,’ he said, smiling. ‘If I met the woman of my dreams, I wouldn’t be wasting any time!’
And off he went again.
She forced a little laugh and drew her hand in close to her body.
‘I wouldn’t call it time wasted.’ She took another party pie and studied her watch a little too hard.
Three minutes to go.
‘We are just enjoying being engaged for now.’ It sounded convincing enough. He didn’t know any details of their engagement anyway. And she planned to keep it that way.
He smirked. ‘If you say so.’
Why did everyone seem to have the same opinion on this? It shouldn’t have bothered her, especially coming from Damian, but the fact she had heard this too many times now.
She raised her eyebrows and let out an unintentional snort. ‘You’re not convinced.’
He shook his head a little too confidently side to side, propped himself back up and stood to his feet.
Thank god.
‘Not at all,’ he said, walking towards to the door. ‘Do you know why?’
She tilted her head, her smile still intact.
‘Your eyes don’t light up the way an engaged woman’s should.’
And just like that, he hit the nail on the head.
She lowered her head and took the empty plate. He barely knew her. How could he possibly draw that conclusion?
‘Thanks for the food Damian.’
‘You’re welcome.’ He adjusted his tie and lingered by the door for a moment. ‘Keep me informed how your meeting goes with Miranda and Stuart,’ his tone professional again. ‘Something that could be worth looking into.’
‘Will do, thank you.’
With a little wave, he left. She could already hear the flood of parents making their way up the stairs where they would soon disperse into different classrooms. She tossed the paper plate into the bin and looked at the list.
Nine more interviews to go, then she would be out.
She took in the naked blue walls of her classroom that had been coloured with an assortment of student work and displays over the semester. The chairs had been stacked neatly to the side, desks cleared from name tags and pencil pots. It was always the way at the end of the ter
m, yet for the first time the emptiness of the room affected her. Sure, it was only a two-week break before she would return to a new term with her room decorated as buoyant as the last. Yet, the thought of facing another suddenly overwhelmed her. She loved her job, there was no doubt about that. So, what was making her feel this way? She put it down to being burnt out.
Yes, that was all it was.
‘I’m glad I caught you!’ It seemed to be a night for visitors. Allie, one of the newly graduate teachers popped her head through the door.
‘Oh yeah? What’s up?’ She was surprised to see such enthusiasm when she really had no relationship with the girl. They hadn’t even shared a conversation over the semester. Not that this was any different to any of the other relationships she had with her colleagues. No one seemed to want to get to know her.
Allie nodded quickly then pursed her lips together. ‘We missed you at the curriculum brief,’ she said condescendingly.
‘Pardon?’
A frustrated look appeared on her face. ‘You didn’t get the email?’
Sienna hesitated and took a moment to think. Surely, she hadn’t been so careless to have missed it. But then again, she hadn’t checked her emails all day. But even so, why hadn’t anyone let her know? And why was it scheduled on a day like this one where they already had enough on their plate?
‘No?’ Her eyebrows lifted, impatient at the delay.
‘I’m so sorry, I must have missed it.’ She started to fret. This was the last thing she needed. Another reason for everyone to despise her.
Allie stared blankly at her. ‘I’ll send you the minutes.’ She disappeared out the door.
Sienna took a breath, exhaling heavily as she yanked her laptop open and refreshed the web page.
Two minutes to go, she barely had enough time.
The page loaded. Sure enough, there was an email. With a deflated sigh, she opened it and noticed the time it was sent. 4:47p.m.
She glanced at the clock, confused. It was now 5:58p.m. Meetings were never organised at such late notice. She squinted to see that Allie herself, had written it. She felt herself relax, relieved she hadn’t missed anything formal as these meetings were always called by the curriculum coordinator. She clicked on the message and quickly scanned her eyes over the email.
Hey all,
While we are all together tonight, I thought that we could quickly take a look at humanities unit on Indigenous Culture for next term. Keen to hear some of your ideas. Let’s debrief during break.
So that was all it was. Surely there were others that had missed the memo too. Especially at such short notice. It didn’t really concern her anyway. She already had her curriculum planner prepared, ready to go. She would share her ideas with them later.
With that, the bell went and it was time for her next interview. She took a couple of sips from her water bottle, closed her laptop and smiled at the parent who had arrived at the door.
She had been waiting for over fifteen minutes for Nolan’s parents to arrive. She hadn’t expected them to have shown up but hadn’t lost hope for it either.
It was 8:17 p.m.
Most staff had already finished up for the night and had gone home. She poked her head out of the class room and scanned her eyes around the empty hallway.
Silence.
She stood still contemplating what to do. She had done everything to communicate the importance of this night to them. She had tried calling, emailing, leaving notes in Nolan’s diary for him to take home to read, but had been unsuccessful in every attempt. She couldn’t understand how any parent could show so little interest in their child. Especially Nolan, who had quickly become so special to her. She knew she needed to talk to them about the tutoring she has begun with him too, and that was all going to be brought up tonight. If they had shown up.
The time her and Nolan shared became less about academics, and more a time where they would just sit and talk about anything he came to her with. Each time she was cautious of probing into his personal life, being mindful not to cross that line. It was challenging for her at times to hold back as deep under the surface, she had a feeling he was fighting a war. It was these suspicions that made her feel as though it would probably be best to pass him onto the school counsellor. But knew he wouldn’t form a relationship with anyone else in the same way he had with her. He felt safe with her, this much was clear as day and night. She knew this by the way he spoke so freely with her, with a trust allowing him a freedom to do so. But even with all this in mind, she knew she had a responsibility to talk to Damian about it.
He would decide how things would proceed from there.
She made her way down the stairs for the first time that day, passing the staff room on her right before arriving at his door.
All the lights had been turned off, with only a single light from his office illuminating the hallway. She found him slouched against his leather chair, his feet casually resting on the edge of a desk, immersed in paper. His suit jacket was unbuttoned with his tie loosened. Clearly, he was ready for the day to be over as much as she was. She knocked on the door frame, his eyes instantly shot up.
‘Look who has graced me with their presence,’ he flirted, swiveling side to side on his chair.
‘The Livingstons were a no show,’ she stated bluntly, ignoring his playfulness.
‘Right.’ He paused and sat up straight. ‘I will look into setting up a meeting with them,’ his tone became more serious.
‘And from there?’
‘Let’s hear your thoughts.’ He gestured for her to sit down.
She took the seat opposite him. ‘As you know, I’ve attempted to reach out to them on numerous occasions and they just haven’t been responsive.’
It sounded like a script; her professional tone having a way of making her sound like some amateur actress. He must have thought so too as a smirk formed in the corner of his mouth. She felt her cheeks grow hot.
Why was he always this way around her?
‘For the last couple of weeks Nolan has stayed back after school,’ she continued, avoiding any eye contact with him. ‘During this time, we have worked on different learning tasks from class and in a sense, I’ve begun tutoring him.’ She gave in and positioned her eyes on his to find them smiling at her.
‘You have a beautiful heart Sienna.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘The way you invest your time in your students, especially towards those who need that extra attention. This world is in need for more teachers like you.’ He was back to swinging again on his chair, his eyes still fixed on hers, his smirk fully intact.
She exhaled deeply, suddenly agitated. ‘I was wondering if Nolan would benefit with some sessions with Anita Moore,’ she said ignoring his comment. The sooner she got to the point, the sooner she would be out of there.
‘Counselling?’
‘I think it’s what he needs,’ she agreed. ‘There’s only so much I can do. He’s honestly struggling, and I have this feeling his home life is a contributor to that.’
He scribbled something down on a notepad. ‘That can be arranged. Let me see what I can do.’ He looked up. ‘I will put it forward in a meeting I set up with them. But I’ll need their consent first.’
Guilt washed over her. She felt as though she has just given up on the child, handballing him over to a complete stranger. Suddenly, she questioned her decision in saying anything at all. What if Nolan wasn’t able to open up with Anita in the way he had with her? But then there was always the possibility his parents wouldn’t be in favour of the suggestion, if they even showed up at the meeting. She wouldn’t get ahead of herself with the hypothetical.
He must have noticed her concern and stretched his hand out towards her. She stared at it, not knowing what he wanted her to do. Fortunately, her hands were safely in her lap, behind the desk that separated them.
He pulled his hand back in and let out a sharp grunt. ‘It will all get sorted.’ He rose from the chair and stood beside her, placing his hand securely on her shoulder. ‘You have done all you can Sienna.’ He squeezed it and lowered himself onto the end of his desk. ‘I will take it from here.’
Alarm bells went off inside her. She could feel his breath just inches from her. He was positioned too close.
Far too close.
The fact that there was a ripple of panic surging through her confirmed she had to get out, and fast.
‘I appreciate that.’ She slowly shuffled her feet under her, creating space she could between them.
He let out a loose laugh as he watched her. Her cheeks burnt from humiliation. How did she end up here like this? He placed his other hand on her other shoulder and positioned himself so his body was facing squarely with hers. She had no choice but to look at him.
‘You’re always so nervous around me,’ he teased her.
Ok, it was well and truly time to get out.
‘This is a bit close.’ She eased herself up out of the chair. ‘We don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea,’ her response came fast. She felt his breath against her, his cologne strong under her nose.
His brilliant smile remained whole. ‘You’re probably right.’ Reluctantly he released his hands from her shoulders and rose to his feet. ‘Enjoy the break Sienna.’ He walked her over to the door, his hand hovering behind the small of her back with every step. ‘Maybe when you’re back you won’t be so nervous around me,’ he joked.
She gave him an awkward wave, feeling his eyes on her as she walked back down the corridor. Just as she was about to head back up the stairs and call it a day, Allie appeared from the staff room.
‘A late-night trip to the principal’s office hey,’ she stated, syncing in step beside her.
Sienna felt her cheeks glow warm. How much had she seen? She mentally replayed the scene in the office, praying she hadn’t seen his hands on her. The last thing she needed was for more rumours to be circling around the staff.
‘Yeah, there was a student issue I needed to address with Damian,’ her response civil.
