by Nikki Rose
“Thank you, sir.” The Director’s compliment hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. I wouldn’t trust my daughter’s safety to just anyone. His words were like a knife in my chest as guilt washed over me so heavy that I feared my body would crumple down to the floor from the weight of it. Here he was going on and on about his trust and his opinion of me as a man and an operative all the while I'm sneaking behind his back sleeping with his daughter. I tried to hide my upset by taking a drink of my lemonade just as Caroline came in. I glanced her direction and forced a smile that didn’t reach my eyes.
She walked in and the smile on her face almost broke my heart. She was so happy but how could we continue to sneak around behind her father’s back? I couldn’t do it. I had to figure out a way to tell him the truth that didn’t involve me getting fired or him shooting me. My only hope was that when I told him, he’d remember his good opinion of me and be happy that Caroline and I got together — but who was I kidding? I wasn’t the type of man men hoped for for their daughters. I had a long rocky past with women and I was never one for commitments.
Caroline took her seat and Ms. James brought us our lunch which had lost all its appeal. I took a bite just to give my mouth something to do but it was flavorless.
“So honey, what do you have planned for the day?”
“I’m not sure yet.”Caroline glanced over at me, hope filling her expression and I knew she was wanting us to spend the day together but I couldn’t find words so I kept my head down, focusing on my food instead.
“Did you have anything in mind for today, Chris?” She directed the question right at me so there was no way of escaping the situation. I had to say something even though my mind was still flooded with guilt. .
“I — uh. Actually, sir. I was needing to see if there would be any way of me getting some time off today.”
“Of course. I ripped you right out of your life without even giving you the usual twenty-four hour notice to get your affairs in order we offer to those leaving the area and here we are stateside and I haven’t even given you time off. Why don’t you take the day off. I can run things from my study with conference calls and video chats.”
“Are you sure, sir?” A new wave of guilt hit me. Now only was I betraying him by sleeping with his daughter, I was ducking out from my job to run from the issues I’d created.
“Absolutely. I insist.”
“But you were hired to protect me. Shouldn’t you be here for that? What’s more important than your job?” Caroline’s voice was desperate as she tried to keep me there. I was sure she could tell something was off and I’d have to talk to her at some point about it all but first I needed some time to figure things out for myself and know how we were going to handle the situation.
“Caroline. I’m disappointed in you. You are always fussing and complaining that I put my work above everything. I’d think you of all people could appreciate Chris wanting to take a little time away from the job for a personal life.”
Caroline was fuming but she did well not to show it. If it weren’t for the little micro-expressions I’d been trained to spot I might have never known. Luckily the Director wasn’t paying such close attention to her or I had no doubt he would have picked up on the same things.
I felt bad for upsetting Caroline. I was falling fast for her and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her but my mind was too flooded with guilt to think of how to handle things with her at the moment too..
“I was thinking about going out with Derek tonight.” I froze mid-bite at Caroline’s announcement. What was she thinking? She hadn’t even mentioned Derek’s name in weeks. Not since we’d become close but suddenly she has plans to go out with him? Just the thought of the two of them together made me want to put my hand through a wall.
“Derek?” The Director sounded shocked but I was looking at Caroline.. A small growl rumbled in my chest. I hoped the Director didn't hear.
“Yeah, We haven’t had much time together since I’ve had to have a bodyguard shadowing me.” Caroline rolled her eyes at the growl and turned to talk more directly to her dad.
“I wasn’t aware that you were still seeing that boy.”
“We’re keeping things casual.”
“Casual? What exactly does that mean?”
“That means he’s getting all the benefits without an actual commitment.” I blurted out. I downed the rest of my lemonade and wished it was whiskey instead.
“I don’t like him. Why do you insist on involving yourself with a guy like that?”
“I have fun with him.” Caroline sighed and took a sip of her lemonade.
“He’s trouble, Caroline.”
“I'm not planning on marrying him. We are just hanging out and having a good time.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.”
“What?”
“The having a good time part.”
“Dad...”
“I know. I know You’re a grown woman who can make your own choices but I’m your dad and I’m going to worry about you as long as I’m breathing.”
“I know. And, I love you for it.”
.
“Since I gave Chris the day off, I’ll need you to wait until tomorrow to go out.”
“I don't need Chris there all the time. I’ll be safe.” I finished my last bite of breakfast and tossed put my napkin beside my plate.
“If you’ll excuse me? I have some things to take care of.” I did my best to not sound irritated but failed miserably. I rounded the table and carried my dishes to the sink to rinse them.
“Caroline, you still have people after you. We can’t risk it.”
“Dad...”
“It’s just one day and it will give your old man piece of mind.”
“Fine.” She signed “I think I’m going to lay out for a little while and get some sun. I’m too pale.”
“You already have a beautiful natural tan, just like your mother.”
“I’m just going to stay out a short time.” she stood and rounded the table to kiss her dad on the cheek.
My temper was getting the best of me but I couldn’t let it show. She was back to being that spoiled little girl again.
“Just don’t get burnt.” I bit out a she left our sight heading upstairs to change.
“I won’t.”
I left the table just after Caroline and stormed off to the guest room to change into my workout gear. I didn’t care that the Director thought I’d already worked out. It was either that or hunting down and killing that bastard, Derek. Caroline didn’t need to be around him. She had barely even mentioned him in weeks. She was only doing that to get my attention. And she got it alright.
I went down to the home gym and started on the punching bag without even bothering to warm up. Sometimes you just need to hit something and it was either the punching bag or Caroline's little boyfriend.
I punched until my knuckles threatened to bleed then hopped on the treadmill for a five mile sprint. I ran until I could see clearly again and the blinding rage faded. Was Caroline just having fun because I was something she thought she couldn’t have? A new way to rebel against her father? If so, I played right into her hand. I was an idiot. I gave the spoiled princess exactly what she wanted and when she got it, she used it to goad me into a jealous rage just for fun.
“Fuck!” I jumped off the treadmill and started rapid fire punches at the punching bag again.
I couldn’t even think clearly. That girl had gotten so far in my head. I couldn’t confront her until I calmed the hell down though. I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing me all wound up over her. Once I finally talked to her, I’d make sure it was when I was cool, distant. I’d let her see that she meant as little to me as I meant to her even if that was as far from the truth as it could be. I wouldn’t let her know that last night was the single most amazing night of my life and that if I had it my way every day would end just like that and every morning would start with her in my arms again.
&
nbsp; Guilt wrapped around my throat, threatening to choke me when the Director was going on about how I was a good man and how he trusted me. I betrayed him, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to do it again and again. It just meant I needed to come clean to him and tell him how I felt about Caroline and work my ass off to get his blessing to start seeing his daughter. It’s a good thing I didn’t do that. I would have made a complete ass of myself for nothing.
I needed a sounding board. Someone I could get all this out to before it came out at the wrong time to the wrong person. I grabbed my phone off the table and hit number two on my speed dial.
“Wright.”
“Hunter, hey man. You busy?”
I heard muffled talking on the other end before he answered. “Nah, I’m good. What’s up? Everything okay?”
“I need to go out for a bit. Can you meet me for a drink?”
“It’s a little early for a drink. How about lunch?”
“As long as you don’t judge me for ordering a beer or five with my lunch.”
Hunter laughed. “That bad, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
I left early to meet Hunter at a local bar and grill we loved to hang out at when we had the time. The hostess led me to a table and I made myself comfortable, ordering a beer but holding off on ordering any food. Hunter wouldn’t even be there for another half hour. I’d just needed to get out of that house as fast as possible.
At breakfast with Caroline and the Director, I was already having my doubts about the way we were going behind her dad’s back. It would have been different if it was a one and done kind of thing. But, I could see us going on like that indefinitely. Then she went and started acting crazy, talking about that asshole, Derek who she had barely mentioned since the night she snuck out with him.
I thought she was finally getting passed that phase in her life and moving on but apparently I was just another way for her to stick it to her dad. I didn’t know when I started sounding like such a girl about these things. Most guys would love to have a sexy girl, wild in bed, and not looking for a commitment. I used to be one of those guys but after being with Caroline, the idea of being with someone else had lost all its appeal and the idea of her being with someone else — especially Derek had me losing my shit.
I took a long drag of my beer and looked toward the door as Hunter walked in.
“Hey man, I see you started without me.” He tipped his head toward my beer.
“We weren’t supposed to meet for another twenty minutes.”
“Yeah, but I know you. I figured you’d already be here by now.”
“Can I get you a beer?”
“Sure and let's order some food too. I’m starving.”
“Sure thing.” I waved the young fiery redheaded waitress over to our table and she quickly bounced her way over.
“Hi, can I get you guys something?”
“Yeah, If you can bring me another one of these” I held up my beer. “One for my friend too, and we’ll both have the ribeye burger and fries.”
“Sure thing.” The waitress turned quick on her heel and sauntered off to place our order.
“Are we too predictable?” Hunter leaned his elbows on the table and made himself comfortable.
“How do you mean?”
“You just ordered for both of us without even looking at the menu because we always order the same thing when we come here.”
“Nah. We just know what we like.”
Hunter shrugged, accepting my answer and leaned forward. “So what’s going on? It’s not like you to call me out of the blue sounding like something’s wrong.”
“Yeah that’s more your forte.” I smirked, trying my best to lighten my mood before diving into what was wrong.
“Ha. Ha.” He faked a dry laugh but his smile was real. “So serious, what’s up? You okay?”
“Yeah, no. I don’t even know anymore, man.”
His eyes widened, picking up on my genuine distress and his voice rose with urgency. “Oh shit. Are you in some kind of trouble?”
“It’s nothing like that, relax.”
“Then what?”
“It’s this girl...”
“What girl?”
“The one I’m assigned to.”
“She still giving you a hard time?” I could hear the amusement in his voice and I wanted to punch him in the throat for enjoying my suffering.
“You could say that.”
“Man, like I told you, just do your job, keep her safe. Then, you never have to see her again —.”
“I slept with her.”
“You did what?”
“I slept with her.”
“When?”
“Which time?”
“Chris, what the hell were you thinking?” Hunter lowered his voice conspiratorially and leaned in closer.
I had to take another gulp of my beer before I could speak again. “I thought there was something there. I thought maybe —.”
“So you’re saying this wasn’t just a fuck? You have feelings for her?”
“Yeah.” I sighed and plopped my elbows up on the table.
“Dude, this is the Director’s daughter.”
“You don’t think I know that?” My temper rose. I needed help with this, not a damn parrot repeating what I already knew.
“Do you really? Do you realize this could not only make things difficult for you and for her on a personal level but this could be career suicide? A career you’ve literally poured your blood, sweat, and tears into.”
“Shit. You’re right.” I shook my head and looked down at the beer in my hand.
“Does she feel the same way for you too?”
“I thought so. Then she blew me away this morning by telling her dad that she was planning to go out with this asshat of a guy she’d been seeing before.”
“Well, all I can say is you better make damn sure she’s worth the risk and if you don’t even know if she’s all in then it doesn’t sound like something worth throwing your whole career away for.”
“You’re right, man. But, after all this, how do I just pretend everything is fine?”
“By doing your damn job and forgetting about the rest. We’re trained to compartmentalize so now's as good a time as any to use it.”
I nodded, knowing what I had to do. “Thanks, man. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“No problem. You know I’ve always got your back.”
“I know. Do me a favor and hurry up and find those guys so I can get away from that girl once and for all?”
“We’re doing the best we can. You just hang in there and try not to commit career suicide in the meantime.”
.“I’ll do my best.” I let out a small chuckle, relieved to have a clear plan of what to do. Leave it to my best friend to be able to lighten my spirits even in the middle of such a shit storm.
Chapter 17
I’d set up a lounge chair on the back patio and was soaking in the warmth of the sun but my mind was on Chris. He was acting fine until breakfast but I’d gotten the last hit with my comment about Derek. In all honesty, I wasn’t really wanting to go out clubbing with him. Compared to Chris, Derek was nothing. That was until Chris started acting cold and distant after everything we’d shared.
Could it really have all been about the sex? I wouldn’t make another move. If he wanted me, he’d come find me. But, I wasn’t going to make it easy on him either way. I picked out my skimpiest little scrap of a bathing suit and waited to lay out until a little while after lunch, knowing he’d be keeping an eye on me if for no other reason than it was his job when he got home.
A shadow cast over me from someone blocking my sun, making me glance up. Chris. Play it cool, Caroline.
I sighed and covered my face with my forearm nonchalantly. “You’re blocking the sun.”
“You’re going to get burned.” His tone was so cold and business-like. Even more so than when we’d first been paired for his assignment. He didn’t
sound like the guy who’d just been between my legs that morning.
His attitude was making me mad. I wasn’t going to just let him get away with his attitude but I had to play this just right or it might backfire like the whole thing with Derek. I took the bottle of sunscreen from the side table and held it out to him without even looking his way. “Then put some sunscreen on me.”
“I’m not your damn butler. Put it on yourself.” His voice was sharp and he dropped the bottle on my stomach.
I’d planned to wait until he made a move but I needed to gode him. To get him to break this cold facade and be Chris again even if it was irritated or angry Chris. Anything was better than cold, distant Chris. I needed him to put his hands on me again. I needed to feel his touch but I also needed him to remember the connection we had. The difference between us was breaking my heart. “It’s your job to protect me.”
“From threats to your life. Not from a little sunburn.”
I glanced up at him from over my sunglasses. His jaw was clenched and the tendons in his neck were taunt. He was furious and trying to control himself. “Don’t you know, skin cancer is a real threat? Protect me from the evil melanoma, bodyguard.”
He growled. An actual growl and sat down on the side of the lounge chair. “Sit up. I’ll put it on your back where you can’t reach but you can put the rest on your damn self.”
Well, that was something at least. I sat up and pulled my hair to the side, turning my back to him. He roughly applied the sunscreen to my back, causing my whole body to move with the brashness of the rubbing. “Geeze, a little easier, would ya?”
“Oh I’m sorry. I thought you liked it rough.” He bit out as he continued to rub the sunscreen onto my shoulders.
I couldn’t take it anymore. “What is your problem? If the last couple weeks were just a temporary thing, fine, whatever but you don’t have to be such a dick about it. Just be a man and say so.”
“Fine. It was a way to get it out of our systems so we could move on. Happy?” No. Actually that didn’t make me happy at all and he didn’t seem very happy about it either. In fact, it seemed to piss him off but I had no idea why.
