“Do that again,” I gasped. I heard his deep rumble of laughter, but he did as I asked, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the stars that burned behind my lids and the lightning that swept through my body. Landon continued to work me open until I was begging him to please, fuck me.
He sat up and slicked his cock with lube, then he lay over me, holding himself up with one arm while the other hand reached between us to line himself up. A tiny sliver of fear, a fear of the unknown, raced down my spine. I had never bottomed before, never trusted anyone enough for that kind of intimacy, but Landon knew that already and I could see the understanding in his eyes as he gazed down at me, along with all the love and tenderness he felt for me.
“I love you more than anything else in the world,” he whispered, and I felt all my fears leave my body, completely eclipsed by this man and the way he made me feel. I placed my hands on either side of his face and leaned up, so I could press a kiss against his lips.
“I’m ready, baby. Let me feel you,” I said.
I bit my lip against the pressure, but Landon moved slowly, being very careful with me as he eased inside. He stared into my eyes the entire time and I watched the range of emotions that flitted across his face. Everything from utter joy to unquestionable devotion showed in his expression and I nearly wept with my love for him.
We kissed as he began to move inside me and I groaned as all the pain was replaced with absolute ecstasy. I pulled my knees up to my chest as he began to thrust harder and I slipped my hand between us, taking my cock and pumping it in my tight fist.
“You feel so good. I don’t know how much longer I can last,” Landon groaned.
“It’s okay. I’m right there with you,” I panted. I could already feel my balls drawing up tight as my cock leaked all over my stomach.
Landon adjusted his position and gave me a deep thrust, nailing my prostate perfectly and I screamed his name as cum shot from my cock, splattering my chest. His body stiffened above me and with one last push, I could feel his hot seed as it filled me.
He collapsed on top of me, completely spent and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him as close as possible. There were no words to describe how much love I felt for him or how in awe I was over everything that had just happened. So, I didn’t even try. I simply held him, enjoying the pounding of his heart against my chest and the feel of his warm breath against my neck.
I sat at the table, listening to the chatter around me as I strung blue and white beads onto a wire. I’d already succeeded in making three others and when I was finished, I was going to wrap them around each other in the middle to make a snowflake. Hopefully anyway, I wasn’t the craftiest person in the world. Either way, I figured it would look pretty hanging on the Christmas tree with colorful lights shining through the iridescent beads.
It was a mindless task and I smiled as I listened to the kids laughing and joking with one another as we made ornaments for the enormous tree that the Greenes had brought to the center. It had been a surprise, one that brought smiles to the kids’ faces, and they’d immediately started making plans for where to place it so they could all enjoy it. It was finally decided that it would go in the spacious dining room so they could see it as they ate their meals and played games.
They had the next two weeks off school for Christmas break and there was an excited buzz in the air. I was happy to see that most of the kids were looking forward to the holidays. It wasn’t easy to spend Christmas away from home, but considering most of their home lives had consisted of constant pain and anguish, they seemed relieved to be around people who truly cared about them and wanted what was best for them.
That was largely due to Matt’s influence. As the owner of the center, he’d always treated every kid that walked through the doors like they were important, like they were family. I knew because he’d done the same for me. Hudson and I had followed his lead and the three of us worked hard to make sure every kid was included and cared for.
I tied off the end of my wire and attempted to wrap the beaded wires around each other, but it ended up looking completely lopsided, almost like a person in a flowing skirt with their arms spread to the side.
“You need some help with your snowflake?” someone whispered into my ear and a delicious shiver ran up my neck.
I turned and looked into the warm, brown eyes of my husband. My eyes flitted down to the set of plump lips and I sighed as I remembered how those lips felt pressed against mine. Those same lips lifted in a smirk and Hudson’s eyes danced in amusement knowing the path my thoughts had taken.
“What?” I asked as I struggled to remember his question.
“Your snowflake. Do you need help putting it together?” he asked, gesturing toward my hands.
I looked down, suddenly remembering the ornament I had been working on. Hudson and Matt knew the effect they had on me and they seemed to get great pleasure from scrambling my brain. Fortunately, I knew exactly how to do the same to them, so they weren’t the only ones who could have fun.
“No, I’ve decided I like it best as a snow fairy,” I told him, curving the two wires to the sides upward so they’d look more like arms.
“I like it too,” Hudson said, giving me a quick kiss. A chorus of catcalls and whistles sounded nearby and we looked over to see the kids watching us.
“Alright, show’s over. That tree is huge and there are a lot of bare spots that still need to be filled,” he told them with a laugh.
The kids were used to seeing Hudson, Matt, and me being appropriately affectionate in front of them. We’d decided long ago not to hide our feelings from them. Most of them had never seen a healthy, loving, and committed relationship and we felt that they needed role models so that they would know what to look for when they entered relationships of their own. That didn’t mean that they didn’t like to give us a hard time about it though.
“You ready to go?” Hudson asked, and I glanced down at my watch, realizing how late it had gotten.
“Yeah, we’d better get a move on,” I agreed.
I quickly scooped up the leftover beads and put them back in the plastic storage case I had taken them from, then attached a hook to my snow fairy and hung her on the tree. I grabbed my coat from my office and shrugged it on as I walked past the front desk, saying goodbye to Allison.
A thrill shot through me when I saw Hudson waiting for me at the front door. His hand held just the right amount of pressure as he placed it on my lower back and guided me across the parking lot and into our car. He climbed into the driver seat and immediately pulled me towards him, taking my mouth in a searing kiss that left me breathless and aching for more. The snow had continued to fall while we’d been at work, leaving the windows covered in a thick blanket. It gave the illusion of being totally secluded, shielded from the rest of the world.
Hudson’s tongue delved inside my mouth, tasting, searching and demanding in its urgency. My hands went around the back of his neck, pulling him closer and refusing to let him retreat. My head spun with the lack of oxygen and the love I felt for him and I whimpered as he pulled away, despite my hold on him.
“I’ve been dying to do that ever since you crawled out of our bed this morning.” Hudson’s voice was deep and sounded strained and I knew I wasn’t the only one wishing we could take things farther. Unfortunately, we were in the parking lot of a youth center and besides that, we had things we needed to get done before our company arrived.
“Later,” I whispered, that one word holding the promise of pleasures yet to come, and allowing us to hold off on the desire that threatened to choke us.
Hudson nodded his head once then shook it, as if to clear it, before turning the wipers on to clear the windshield and backing out of the parking space. I tried to discreetly adjust my hardened cock inside my slacks, but Hudson’s low groan told me that he’d caught my movement. I smirked as I looked out my window, pleased with his reaction. There was no denying that the three of us, whether all together or separately, were combusti
ble; and while it left us feeling frustrated when we couldn’t do anything about it, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
We pulled into the driveway of our home and Hudson turned off the car. He grabbed the groceries we’d picked up along the way in one hand and then reached his other out to me as we walked up the drive and into the house.
I sighed as the warmth inside the house began to soak into my bones, thawing me out. Matt walked into the room as we were taking off our coats and I felt the same fluttering I always got in my stomach whenever he was near. He smiled as he walked over and kissed me, nibbling my lower lip and sending ripples of pleasure down my spine.
I watched through hooded eyes as Matt turned to Hudson, holding onto his biceps as the two of them used their mouths to reconnect after the long day apart. My cock perked up again at the luscious sight of my men kissing and I scowled. We had several hours before I could devour them the way I wanted, and I didn’t need my balls getting any bluer in the meantime.
“Okay, enough of that. Everyone needs to keep their hands and their lips to themselves. At least until we get through dinner and have the place to ourselves again,” I scolded, pointing a finger at each of them. Matt cocked his head at me and then spoke to Hudson, who was regarding me with obvious amusement.
“At work?” Matt asked.
“In the car,” Hudson responded. I rolled my eyes as the two of them bumped their fists together.
“You two are impossible,” I said, shaking my head as I started to walk off.
Matt grabbed me by the arm and spun me back around so our chests brushed against each other and Hudson moved up behind me, the two of them effectively trapping me between their bodies. Not that I minded one little bit. In fact, I had to bite down on my cheek to suppress my grin.
“I’m sorry, we were being unfair,” Hudson said as he placed a gentle kiss on the side of my head.
“We just can’t seem to help ourselves when it comes to you. You always respond so beautifully,” Matt whispered. He tilted my chin up and brushed his lips over mine. Hudson leaned forward and the three of us shared a kiss that felt as natural as breathing. Matt broke the kiss before we could get carried away again and we all smiled at each other.
“Come on, we better get started on dinner,” Hudson said. He grabbed the groceries that he’d set by the front door and Matt and I followed him into the kitchen.
Two hours later, the doorbell rang, and Matt hurried to answer it. He smiled when he found his parents on the other side and he ushered them in, hugging and kissing them both. Matt’s parents lived a couple hours away, so Hudson and I had only met them once before, at our wedding, but they were every bit as kind and loving as Matt had described. His mom’s eyes lit up when she saw me and Hudson standing a few feet behind her son, and soon we were being swept up in fierce hugs as well.
We had just settled down in the living room to talk when the doorbell rang again. That time, it was Hudson’s family, his sister Aysha, her boyfriend, Drew, and her son, Nicholas. They filed into the living room, hugging each of us and shaking hands with Matt’s parents.
Our blended family fit so perfectly together that it was as if they’d always known each other. Over dinner, Aysha and Matt’s mother exchanged tales about Matt and Hudson when they were little boys. Hudson and Matt each glared at me as I had the women promise to bring photo albums the next time we were all together. Matt’s dad and Drew each liked to golf and soon they were off talking about their favorite courses to play.
My eyes traveled around the table, taking in each person as they talked animatedly and laughed with each other. There was so much love in that room that it was hard to believe that just the year before, I had spent Christmas all alone in my run-down apartment. I’d spent most of the day with the kids at Agape House, but afterward, I returned home to a cold, loveless existence. Now, my life was rich and full, and I had more love in my life than I knew what to do with at times. I rubbed a hand over my chest as I suddenly felt a painful ache there.
I got up, making an excuse that I needed to use the restroom and made my escape, hopefully before anyone could notice the tears in my eyes. I closed the door to the bathroom and leaned against it, letting out a silent sob against the pain in my chest. My head hung forward as tears streamed down my cheeks and my hands fisted at my sides. A gentle knock at the door startled me and I jumped.
“Just a second,” I called out. I rushed over to the sink and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on my face then I grabbed a towel and wiped it dry. The reflection in the mirror showed red-rimmed eyes and a blotchy complexion. One look at me and my men would know that I’d been crying.
“Isaac, will you let us in?” Matt asked softly through the door. My shoulders slumped as I realized that there was no use hiding my feelings. Matt and Hudson knew me better than anyone else in the world. With a resigned sigh, I opened the door.
“Oh, baby. What is it?” Matt tilted my chin up, so he could see my face. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed me into his arms, hugging me to him. I saw Hudson’s concerned face over Matt’s shoulder and a fresh wave of tears blurred my vision.
“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to spoil this fabulous evening,” I said, brushing my tears away angrily. Matt never let go of me, but he moved to the side so that Hudson could step into the room as well.
“Don’t apologize. We love you, and if something’s bothering you we want to know what it is. Did someone say something to upset you?” Hudson asked, a frown marring his beautiful face as his arms joined Matt’s around my waist.
“No, not at all,” I told them, shaking my head for emphasis. “Everyone’s been absolutely wonderful. We’ve been having so much fun and everyone’s so happy.”
“So, what’s the problem?” Matt pressed.
“That’s the problem,” Hudson answered for me. I wasn’t sure if it was the therapist in him or what, but sometimes it seemed as if he could read our minds.
“You’re worried about Zane,” Matt said as understanding dawned on his face. I nodded my head.
“I was thinking about how different my life is now compared to last year,” I explained to them. “I have all this love and family in my life now, but just last year I went home to an empty apartment. There was no one to greet me at the door with kisses or to laugh with as we cooked a meal together. And then, I started to wonder…” My voice trailed off.
“You wondered if Zane has anyone,” Matt finished for me. A sob tore through me and I buried my face in Matt’s chest. He and Hudson held me tightly, letting me cry until I just couldn’t cry anymore. Hudson wet a washcloth and began wiping the tears from my face.
“Listen to me. Zane is out there somewhere and there’s no way for us to know if he has anyone special in his life, but from everything you’ve told us about him, I can guarantee one thing.” Hudson finished cleaning my face and then he tossed the cloth into the sink. “I guarantee that he’s thinking about you too and wondering what you’re doing. He’s probably thinking about the brother he loves more than his own life and he knows that no matter what else is going on in his life, there’s at least one person out there that loves him. You.”
A smile spread across my face at his words. Hudson was right. No matter how many miles were between us, or how many years since we’d seen each other, I knew that Zane loved me, and he knew that I loved him. I just needed to have faith that Micah’s man would be able to find him and bring him back.
“And I bet Zane will be enjoying Christmas with us next year,” Matt added, and I spread my arms out, hugging them both.
“Thank you both so much. I honestly don’t know what I’d ever do without the two of you,” I told them.
“That’s something you’ll never have to find out,” Hudson assured me. The three of us shared a kiss until a pounding at the door caused us to jump apart in surprise.
“You guys, I have to go pee,” Nicholas yelled through the door and we started laughing, opening the door and ushering the boy in
side before he could have an accident.
I followed my men back down the hallway and joined the rest of our family, determined to have a lovely Christmas and spend it counting all of my blessings. With any luck, I’d soon be able to add having my brother back to my list.
I stared lazily at the snow coming down outside. It had been falling steadily for several days, and the weathermen were reporting around eight to ten inches had accumulated so far. The wind blew noisily just beyond that thin pane of glass, but inside our home, lying curled around my husband in our enormous bed, I felt warm, cozy, and blissfully sated.
We’d be leaving soon to go to my parents’ house, where we would spend the night and open presents with the rest of my siblings and their spouses on Christmas morning. Knowing that would be next to impossible to find any alone time with so many people around, we’d chosen to spend the day in bed, fucking, napping, and basically soaking as much of each other up as we could.
My eyes began to droop as Ryan rubbed soothing circles over my back, the sound of his heart beating beneath my ear lulling me to sleep. Just as I started to drift, he spoke softly, and I opened my eyes.
“I thought I was happy. Before. I had the guys at the firehouse who were my friends and I’d spend my free time either hanging out with Joe or fixing up this place. I hoped that someday I’d find someone to love, but for the most part, I was happy,” he said.
I laid my hands on his chest and rested my chin there, so I could see him as he spoke. He’d been looking out the window, but he turned his head, tilting his neck so he was gazing down at me. Ryan’s fingers sifted through my hair and I leaned into his touch. The look in his eyes was soft and gentle, but I was curious where his train of thought was going.
“But then, I met you and you brought so much light and life and laughter into my world that it was like I’d only been living in shadows before that; like I was finally waking up after a long sleep. That day you showed up at the firehouse with a camera and an apology, that was the day I knew that my life would never be the same again. And I was right.” Ryan’s lips lifted in a small smile and my heart stuttered in my chest.
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