by Sara Hazel
As Zack discusses business with Donovan, I take up my position at my station and begin preparation for the day’s desserts. But as I work, I notice Francesca breathing heavily over my shoulder and watching me closely.
“Fran, please. You’re standing really close to me.”
“You need to come to the bar with me tonight. I’m not letting you get out of it this time. and I’m serious. There are things you need to know about Zack. His ex-wife is my sister. She was his assistant before Hannah.”
“Your sister?”
“Yes, my sister, you idiot. I said that already!”
“You don’t have to be so mad at me. But fine, we can go to the bar tonight for a little bit. I’m super tired and I can’t stay out all —”
“Jules, you’re not listening to me.”
“I listened to you! Maybe you should invite your sister to tell me all about Zack and how I should stay away from him.”
“Nevermind,” she hisses. “We’ll talk about it tonight. Though I’ll leave it to Zack to explain to you exactly why my sister can’t come to the bar tonight to warn you about him.”
This is all starting to seem terribly ominous. I think I need Kelsey as a backup in case Francesca attacks me at the bar or something. The first chance I get, I sneak off to call my best friend.
“Kels, I need you to come out with me tonight. This girl I work with is crazy. She’s Zack’s sous chef and I think she likes him. She’s definitely jealous of me.”
“Why, Juliann Sweetie Pie Addison! I haven’t heard your voice in months. It’s about time you ask me to come out with you. I was starting to wonder if we were still friends.”
“I know I’ve neglected you, Kels. I’ve just been so busy. On my day off all I do is sleep. I figured you were busy making art with your new co-op friends anyway.”
“I forgive you,” Kelsey says in her normal cheery voice. I’m grateful my best friend still loves me and doesn’t want to kill me the way I fear Francesca might.
“So, you’ll come out with me tonight?”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the restaurant. Text me when you start cleaning up. Love you!”
“Love you too,” I reply.
The rest of the day is very tense with Francesca staring at me and muttering all sorts of unintelligible things under her breath. Zack doesn’t seem to notice, and I don’t bother explaining to him when we take our break together to run off and make out behind the restaurant.
“When do you think we should tell them?” He asks.
“Tell them what?”
“About us, silly girl.”
“Oh, um, maybe we should wait.”
Zack pulls his hands from my waist, takes a step back, and looks me over.
“Sweetie pie, are you embarrassed by the thought of everyone here knowing that you’re my girlfriend?”
I purse my lips. “No, of course not. And wait — what? Girlfriend?”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “You are. You’re totally embarrassed. Well, that is a new one for me.”
“I am not embarrassed by you!”
He comes over and kisses the top of my head.
“I’m just teasing you, beautiful. Relax. We’ll do this at your pace. But you are my girlfriend now.”
“Zack, I just don’t think that’s a good idea to just jump into a relationship like this. We should slow down.”
“What’s wrong, really?”
I sigh heavily. “I think your sous chef wants to kill me. She said that your ex-wife is her sister, and now she wants me to go to the bar with her tonight. And she has been staring at me all night and muttering all sorts of things, and I just don’t know what she’s got planned!”
“Let me talk to her,” he replies.
“No, I don’t want that.”
“Francesca is my sister-in-law. That’s true.”
“Wait, are you still married to her sister?”
“Of course not, Jules. But I’ve always been close to Francesca, and I still consider her family. She’s got a good heart. I’m sure she doesn’t want to kill you. I do think she wants to warn you about me, and that’s fine. I can understand that and I accept it. I don’t blame her for it. But if you want my help, I am here for you anytime you need it.”
“I know — I just think she must be jealous for some reason.”
“She’s not. Trust me on that,” he says.
I am confused by the whole thing, and my confusion is making me want to cry. I can feel the tears starting to form, but I don’t want to show that to him. I want to prove to Zack that I can handle my problems on my own.
“Ok. I’ll be fine,” I say as I wipe my eyes.
“Alright, if you say so. But I am here.”
“I know you are,” I reply as I walk to him and wrap my arms around his warm body. I instantly feel relief just by hugging him, and the relief intensifies as he puts his arms around me and pulls me close.
Kelsey meets me outside once I’m off the clock. Francesca is still inside gathering up Paige and Hannah.
“So, it’s good to see you, Miss Addison,” Kelsey says as she gives me a hug.
“Good to see you too, Kels. I am so sorry.”
“I get it. You’ve been spending lots of time with Zack Elliot. And if I had the opportunity to hang out with him, I wouldn’t talk to you either!”
We laugh and pull apart as Francesca, Paige, and Hannah join us outside.
“Alright, girls. Time to party,” says Francesca.
We follow her to the bar in silence. It’s not very crowded tonight. We just walk right in, show our IDs, and grab a table in the back. The waitress takes our drink orders, and once she’s gone I just turn towards Kelsey and away from Francesca’s omnipresent gaze.
Francesca clears her throat. “Ok, so something is going on between you and Zack. I want you to tell me about it.”
“Francesca, why? There’s nothing to tell. I promise you.”
“I have been working with Zack Elliot at two restaurants now. I know him better than anyone, and I haven’t seen him this happy in a very long time, and he is happiest when he is around you, specifically. His happiness is a direct result of your presence. I’m not stupid, Juliann. Don’t lie to me.”
“Ok, we’ve been — we —”
“It’s none of your business what they’ve been doing, Francesca,” Kelsey says.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion, Twiggy,” Francesca replies.
“It’s Kelsey, and nice to meet you. But please lay off my best friend or I will claw your eyes out.”
“Ladies, please,” says Hannah. “There’s really no need for this. Just finish what you were gonna say, Juliann.”
“I think we’re seeing each other,” I blurt out as fast as I can. After I’m done saying it I start to hyperventilate. Thank God the drinks arrive.
Kelsey rubs my neck. “It’s ok, Jules,” she says.
“See? I knew it. And Juliann this is for your own good, but whatever you’ve got going on with Zacky, you need to end it now,” Francesca says.
“Zacky?” says Paige.
“Shut up, Paige. My nickname for him is not important. I’m just trying to help this poor girl so she doesn’t get used and thrown away, like he does to everyone he gets involved with. I love Zack, but he’s not relationship material.”
“Why?” I whisper.
“He’s just not, Jules. Trust me, please.”
“I hardly know you, Francesca. I have been getting to know Zack pretty well over the last few months.”
“It’s your fault that you don’t know me,” she says firmly.
“I know. I promise you I’ll make a better effort.”
“Fine. I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Francesca says. “I’ve changed my .mind. I’ve warned you, and that should be enough. I’ll let my too charming for his own good brother-in-law explain to you why he’s not relationship material.”
“Francesca has a crush on Zack, Juliann. I hope you can forgive her,” Hannah says.
>
“I do not have a crush on him. Oh, my God. Gross.”
“Gross? Zack Elliot is hot, Fran. He knows it. You know it. We all do,” Hannah replies.
“Excuse me, y’all. I need to get some air. Kels, you wanna come outside with me for a second?”
“Of course,” Kelsey replies.
We go outside and walk away from the bar. I find us an alley to duck into, which may not be the smartest or safest idea this late at night, but I need to feel like I’m getting far enough away from Francesca to cry on Kelsey’s shoulder, and that is exactly what I do.
“Honey, don’t cry.”
“What should I do, Kels? Do you think it’s true that he’s some kind of user of women?”
“I don’t know. He has a reputation, sweetie pie.”
“Don’t call me that right now. Please.”
I love Kelsey with all my heart, but I don’t like it when she uses my nickname. But when Zack does it — it sounds like a freaking choir of sexy angels.
“Ok. I’m sorry. What’s happened between you and Zack so far?”
“We’ve been getting close the past few months, and last night we had sex. And then we did it again this morning. Oh my God, Kels. I wonder if I gave my virginity to some horrible man?”
“I’m sure he’s not horrible, and I’m so glad you’ve lost your virginity finally. I was starting to worry about you!”
Kelsey hops up and down like her normal crazy self.
“I need to know the details. But then maybe you shouldn’t do it again.”
“I didn’t want to give my virginity to the wrong guy, Kelsey!” I press my head to the brick wall. Kelsey places her hand on my shoulder which makes me jolt. I’m just on edge and everything will be fine soon. I just need to get out of here.
I head back inside with Kelsey close behind. I finish my drink without saying another word to anyone, then I drop my money on the table — enough to cover everyone’s drinks even though I can’t really afford it.
“Well, look at you, miss Money bags,” says Francesca. “Now I know you’re in deep with Zack. You’re giving him some sugar, and he’s playing daddy big bucks in return.”
“Whatever, Francesca. I’ll see you tomorrow. I really need my bed.”
“Have fun with your sugar daddy,” Francesca calls after me as Kelsey and I head out the door.
My heart has sunk so low tonight, and this morning I was on such a love high.
We walk to my apartment. Wicker Park is relatively safe even at this time of night, so we don’t bother calling a car. I wanted to feel the air on my skin for a while, and Kelsey holds my hand the entire way home as I cry.
Once we get upstairs, I flop down on my floor. I can’t even make it to the couch right now. I’m just exhausted by everything. Kelsey sits down beside me and takes my hand again.
“Do you think he’s in love with you?” She asks.
“You should see the way he looks at me, Kelsey. It’s really something else. I’ve never had a man look at me like that before.”
“I’ve never had that before,” Kelsey says with a soft sigh.
“You’re beautiful. You are exactly the kind of girl Zack Elliot should be going after. But instead, he wants me for some reason. I just don’t get it.”
“I love you. Almost everyone loves you, Juliann. It’s not hard at all for me to imagine a man like Zack falling hard for you. But these girls you work with — they know him way better than I do.”
“So, you think I should tell him that we can’t be together? Tonight he called me his girlfriend, and I told him we should slow down.”
“Be with him because he makes you happy. Even if it’s just for now. Not every relationship has to be the right one. Most of them aren’t going to be. You already started this one, so enjoy it for whatever it is for now, and take things slow, Jules. Promise me that you’re gonna take it slow.”
“I promise you I’m gonna take it slow,” I reply.
But I know better. When it comes to Zack Elliot, going slow became out of the question the moment I let him kiss me.
Zack
*
When I wake up, I give Francesca a call.
“Hey,” she groans.
“You alright? You sound terrible.”
“I have got to stop drinking all night,” she replies.
“I have been telling you that for years, and you never listen to me.”
“You just don’t want me to have any fun. That’s your entire reason for telling me not to do it.”
“Well, alright, but you don’t sound like you’re enjoying the hangover very much. Speaking of which, let me take you out for breakfast this morning. You’ll feel better. We’ll go down to Egg Basket and I’ll buy you all the greasiest food.”
“Fine. Give me an hour to get down there,” she says.
When I meet Francesca, she looks very rough. Her hair is frazzled and her eyes are puffy and red.
We slide into a booth and order our food. As we wait, Francesca stares me down.
“So, why did you want to have breakfast this morning? We haven’t done this in a really long time.”
“I miss you, kid. I mean, I see you every day, but we never have much time to really talk, and lately, I think that’s been affecting you. You’ve got to try to treat Juliann better. She thinks you want to kill her.”
“You’re dating her,” she replies.
“Yes.”
“Have you told her about Antonia yet?”
“You know how hard that is for me, Fran…I can’t…”
“But you told her you were married before, right?”
“Yes. I told her my wife ran off with someone.”
“Because even five years later, you can’t just say the words, can you? My sister was depressed and took her own life. Yes, she cheated on you too. But you could have forgiven her. That’s all I’m saying. She wanted you to forgive her. That’s what she told me.”
“I wanted to, Fran. But I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. I could hardly look at her after that. I knew in my heart that she didn’t love me, and maybe never had as far as I know. I still loved her, but I couldn’t look at her anymore. I couldn’t touch her.”
“I guess it’s all just sad to me still. Not only did you not want me, but when you had my sister you didn’t want her either.”
“What do you mean by I didn’t want you?”
Francesca has never confessed to me anything like this. If she wanted to be with me before I started dating Antonia, I never knew. I always just assumed that Francesca and I were a good team. We were just good friends. That was all we were ever meant to be as far as I’m concerned, and she never made it seem as if she believed something else.
“I love you,” Francesca whispers. “Even after Antonia’s death. I’ll never give up on you, Zack. But I won’t let you make the mistake of being with the wrong woman again. If I can help it, I’ll make sure it doesn’t work out for you. Because I want the best for you. I don’t want you to make another mistake!”
“Fran, please take the day off, ok? You need to sleep. I love you too, but not in the way you want me to. You’re not making much sense right now. I think you’re just tired.”
“You’re right, Zack. Ok? Antonia wanted you to forgive her, but she didn’t love you. She told me that too. She was never your girl. She wasn’t supposed to be, but she just fell for you, like we all do. It’s just so easy at first to fall for Zack Elliot. Until you realize he’s just another selfish man who thinks with his dick instead of his brain. Please get rid of that girl, ok? She’s not your girl either. I could be though!”
Francesca buries her face in her hands and sobs. I touch her shoulder, and she flinches.
“Please don’t touch me unless you mean it.”
“Take the next week off. I’ll pay you for all of it, ok? But you need a vacation. I can give you money to go somewhere if you want.”
“I don’t want your money. I want you.”
&nbs
p; The food comes out. Francesca snaps at the waitress: “Can you just box that up? I don’t want it right now.”
“Certainly, ma’am,” the waitress replies. “I’ll be right back with your check.”
As soon as I’m finished paying, Francesca gets up and grabs her box.
“I’ll see you in a week,” she says. “Maybe two. Have fun with your current slut.”
Francesca and I really have been a good team as chef and sous chef. But I can’t let her hold Antonia against me, and I can’t let her talk that way about Juliann. But I won’t let Francesca go, because I’ve always felt a desire to take care of her, especially after her sister’s death.
But I worry that she’s right. Maybe women do just fall for me so easily, but then realize I’m the wrong guy. Maybe I’ve made myself into the wrong guy without even knowing it. Still, I love Juliann, and I am determined to be the right man for her.
At the restaurant, halfway through dinner, Michael comes up to me and asks where Francesca is.
“Buddy, she doesn’t feel the same about you that you do about her, alright? I think you should drop it. She’ll be back in a week or two. But I wouldn’t push her if I were you. She’s under a lot of stress right now, and she needs time to recover.”
“She’s in love with you,” Michael whispers.
“That’s ridiculous,” I reply. “Please, just get back to work. I don’t want to talk about Francesca anymore.”
My cousin doesn’t bother me about Francesca again for the rest of the night. But I do catch him standing in the back looking a little sadder than usual, probably because she’s not here for him to stare all lovesick at.
For the next week, I train Juliann to take over all of Francesca’s duties, but I help her with everything, because she’s not quite ready to be a sous chef just yet. She needs more experience. Still, she handles the challenge like a pro. But after a few days, her normal smile has faded quite a bit. Tonight after closing, Jules and I go out back. She just takes a seat on the ground, closes her eyes, and looks like she’s fallen asleep right there.
“I’m gonna get you home, sweetie pie. To my place where I can make sure you get the rest you need.”
“I can sleep in my own bed,” she says. “I don’t need a constant guardian to make sure I’m taking care of myself. But I appreciate the concern. I really do. What happened to Francesca, for real? This week has been so crazy or I would have asked you sooner. I’ve just been falling asleep so fast every night and trying to get through it.”
