by M. S. Parker
I wasn't sure which thought bothered me more. That Nami would be miserable with a man she didn't care for, or that she would fall in love with him. I barely heard the ceremony as I tortured myself with thoughts of Nami and her unknown betrothed. At their wedding. Holding hands. The kiss. Dancing. The wedding night.
I let out a breath. I had to believe that she wasn't married yet. It would be hard enough to convince her to break an engagement. She'd never divorce her parents' choice.
By the time I found myself at the same table with Piper and Julien, I'd all but convinced myself that it wouldn't matter what I did. I'd lost Nami the moment I'd let her walk out of the hotel. To my surprise, Piper seemed genuinely concerned for me and I found myself telling her and Julien everything. Part of me did it because I wanted Piper to know that I understood what she'd said when she'd chosen Julien over me and there were no residual feelings. Another part of me needed it for another reason. I had to tell someone about her, about what I was feeling.
When I finished, Piper leaned forward, her dark green eyes kind. She put her hand over mine in a sincere and platonic gesture. “Do you love her?”
I didn't let myself overthink it. “Yes.”
“Then fight for her, Reed.” She squeezed my hand. “If what the two of you have is real, don't you dare give up. You deserve to be happy.”
I smiled at her and thanked her, but in the back of my head, I couldn't help but wonder if she was right. Did I deserve to be happy?
Chapter 6
Nami
After my little fling with Ari, I'd given up on using a man to make me forget what I'd lost. Actually, I'd given up forgetting at all. I'd worked so hard to remember Reed that it was impossible to erase him now. That realization had depressed me enough that I'd spent the last two days in bed, getting up only when necessary. Like to use the bathroom and find more alcohol. I knew my parents had forbidden anyone to bring me anything, but I had enough blackmail on Tomas and Kai now that they were willing to help me out in exchange for a promise that I wouldn't try to sleep with anyone else. Neither one of them had been happy that they'd had to fire Ari and make up a lie to tell my parents.
The door to my bedroom banged open, making me jump, then wince at the bolt of pain that went through my head.
“Enough!” My father's voice was loud and stern, neither of which did anything to help my headache.
I grabbed the covers and pulled them up over me even though I was fully clothed. “Ever heard of knocking?” I muttered.
“Nami!” My mother chastised me. “You cannot speak to your father that way.”
I sighed and climbed out of bed. The room wavered a bit, but didn't spin, so I was able to stay on my feet. I considered that to be quite the accomplishment. “Sorry.” I couldn't leave it at an apology though. “Just figured a warning might've been nice. I could've been changing my clothes.”
“Considering you have not changed clothes for more than two days, I did not believe that would be an issue.” My father raised an eyebrow.
He had a point.
“This behavior of yours must stop,” Mother said. “It is not befitting any member of a royal family, much less the heir.”
I looked from one to the other. I could see bits and pieces of myself in both of them. Halea looked nearly identical to our mother, but I was a blend of them in personality as well as physical appearance. I'd also inherited a stubborn streak from both of them.
“I'm staying inside,” I said. “But don't worry, I'll make sure I'm presentable for any public stuff.” I swayed and put my hand on the bedside table to steady myself. “And that's what matters, isn't it? The face we present to the public. It's not like I'm making any major decisions or anything.”
“You are the crown princess,” Father spoke through gritted teeth. “It is your duty to learn all these things regarding the rule of Saja.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I was already testing my father's patience and I had a feeling it would've been the last straw. “Like I said, I'll make sure I'm the picture of perfection when we interact with the public. Let me have the privacy of my own room to do as I please.”
“Namisa Persephone Carrmoni.”
I flinched at the sound of my official name. Within the family, we never referred to each other by our birth names. Those were for public face only. All Saja royalty had two names, the one that went on records and treaties, that the media used, and the one we used within the privacy of our home and when we were moving about unofficially. I'd taken that a step further when I'd shortened my last name for school. Four years away at school as Nami Carr, I'd almost forgotten that other name.
“This will stop. Now.”
I recognized my father's tone. It was the one he used when he was having the final say in something. Like he was now.
“There will be no more alcohol save for wine or champagne at official functions. You will not become intoxicated, either publicly or privately.”
My hands curled into fists as he continued.
“You will retire to your room at a respectable time unless busy with state or family business. You will wake no later than seven, bathe, dress and make an appearance at breakfast. All attire will be from your approved wardrobe, and you will not deviate from that.”
There was a moment of silence and then my mother spoke, her voice soft. “I know this is difficult to accept, Nami, but you are the princess, and it is your duty to take on these responsibilities. You have always known this would be the way.”
I had known, but there was a difference between being a child, or even a teenager, thinking of being in my early twenties as so far away, and being here and now.
“I understand how difficult this is for you.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to snap at her that she didn't know. She had married in to the throne. I had been raised for it. The only person who could've understood was my grandmother, my father's mom. She had ruled before him. But I couldn't ask her for advice or guidance. She'd passed away when I'd been only seven. I didn't say anything to my mother though. It would have been bad manners to remind her that she was royal by marriage, not blood.
“It was a mistake to allow you to go to America for school,” Father said. “There is a reason all Saja royals remain on the island for their schooling. Your roots are here, Nami, not out there.”
“I know,” I said softly. My headache was fading away, as were the other effects of what I'd drank, and a resigned depression was starting to sink in.
“So we are agreed?” Father asked. “No more of this foolishness?”
“We are agreed.” I looked down, not wanting him to read on my face what I was feeling.
“Good,” Mother said. “Now, make yourself presentable and join us in the receiving room. Wear the blue dress at the front of your closet.”
I stiffened. I knew which dress she meant, and I knew why it had been purchased. “You've chosen?”
“We have,” Father said. “Dress and join us. You will be meeting your future husband within the hour.”
I watched them leave without any of us speaking again. When the doors closed behind them, I sank to my knees, all the strength running out of my legs. Here it was. My engagement. The fork in the road. Accepting this would mean I could fight it no more. My fate would be sealed.
I would've laughed at that if I could've ensured I wouldn't cry instead. My fate had been sealed the moment I'd been born, then again when my brother had died. I didn't have a choice other than how I would enter in to this. I could drag my feet, fight it tooth and nail, and still lose, or I could be gracious and hope that the man my parents had chosen was good and kind.
But first, I had to take a shower, because there was no way I was going to meet my fiancé smelling like someone who'd been sleeping off a bender under a bridge. Then I would dress and go to the receiving room to meet the man with whom I'd be spending the rest of my life.
The blue dress my mother had purchased while I was away was a little lo
ose even though it was technically my size. I frowned. I must've lost weight over the past couple weeks. Not surprising. I hadn't really been consuming much real food recently. I smoothed it down, making a couple little adjustments here and there until it fit well enough. I smoothed down my curls. They were still damp, but presentable. I went with minimum make-up and a pair of heels that gave me a couple inches but were still considered decent.
I gave myself one last look in the mirror. I could still see faint bruise-like smudges under my eyes, but they were only visible if someone paid close attention. I doubted anyone would notice. I took a deep breath, cleared everything else out of my mind and headed down the hallway. The receiving room was at the front of the palace, allowing us to bring people into our home without bringing them into the part where we actually lived.
When I walked inside, my parents were already there. Standing with them were three people. I recognized two of them as part of a fairly wealthy family. I couldn't remember their name, but it didn't surprise me that they were the ones my parents had picked.
“May we present our eldest daughter, Namisa Carrmoni,” Father spoke in our native language.
I bowed my head a bit, enough to indicate respect, but without making it seem like they were above me. The woman curtsied, but I saw her pale eyes watching me. There was no doubt in my mind that she was wondering how long it would be before I'd give her a grandchild to assure her bloodline on the throne. Her husband bowed and kept his head down, his face carefully guarded. He was smart. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I let my eyes turn to the third person now. He'd bowed, but not as low or as long as his father, and he hadn't kept his head down. His eyes were a clear blue, the kind that had the potential to be as cold as a glacier. Right now, they were unreadable as they met mine. He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was handsome, with jet black hair and chiseled features. When he straightened, I saw that he was about average height, a bit under six feet tall, and muscular, with wide, broad shoulders. Most women would've been attracted to him. If I hadn't had Reed on my mind, I might've been too.
“Princess Namisa, meet Machai and Naomi Nekane, and their son Tanek.” Mother's voice was stiff and I wondered if she hadn't been as fond of this match as my father. “Tanek is your betrothed.”
I'd figured as much, but hearing it said out loud like that still made my stomach flip, and not in a good way.
Tanek stepped forward as I extended a hand. He took it, bowed slightly and kissed the back of my hand. “Princess.” His voice was low and cultured.
“Tanek.”
Something dark passed across his eyes at my use of his first name. I tightened my jaw and lifted my chin. Too bad if he didn't like it. He didn't have a title and, until we were married, he wouldn't. Even then, I would still be above him. Others would be required to address him as prince, and then king, but I would still be the leader.
“We have decided that a short engagement would be best,” Father said.
Mother turned to me, her expression tightly polite. “We have a lot to do, my dear, so we'll be spending every day until the wedding planning for the event.”
I heard what she wasn't saying. I would have no chance to screw this up. They'd made their decision and now I had to live with it.
Chapter 7
Reed
Piper was right, I decided. I deserved to be happy and that couldn’t happen until I knew where things stood with Nami. Even if she didn't want me, if she'd already married her guy, at least I'd know.
And no matter what happened, I was done here. Not just done with my family's business – which didn't belong to my family anymore – but with Philadelphia, with the obnoxious high society people, with everyone, related or not.
I wasn't going to do what my parents had asked and buy the company out from the Atwoods. Besides the fact that I wasn't interested in being in charge again, I didn't trust my family to do right by the people who worked there. I trusted Julien to though.
I laughed at that and shook my head as I looked down at the list I'd made. I was almost done. The last thing I had to do was tell my parents, and I was putting that off until I knew where I was going. I would eventually tell my parents, but I wanted to wait until I was ready to leave before I said anything. Give them less time to try to talk me out of it.
The first thing I'd done was pay ahead on property taxes for two years, and then sign the house over to my parents. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, giving away the place that had been my home pretty much my entire life. I guessed that was because it hadn't actually felt like my home. Not just mine. Even at my age, I'd always felt like I was still at my family's house, not mine. Now it was theirs again. I just hoped it would give my parents enough time to get their feet under them because I wasn't planning on bailing them out with anything else.
I'd had to pull quite a few strings to get everything together on a Sunday, but the Stirling name wasn't complete mud, especially when it was linked to my first name. Granted, people knew about the whole Britni thing, but the Michaels weren't exactly bright shining stars in Philly at the moment and business people were more likely to overlook an affair versus bad financial choices. It helped that what I was asking for had to do with money, and I had plenty.
Everything that was under my name was being turned into cash. I wouldn't be able to get it all today, but I'd set things into motion to have everything split into several different accounts at different banks. I'd taken a loss on some art work and on a couple other possessions, but getting this taken care of quickly meant more to me than a couple hundred thousand dollars. I wanted to be ready to go at a moment's notice.
I looked around the living room, realizing for the first time how nothing here was mine. The furnishings had changed a bit over the years, but I'd hired the same decorator my parents had used. There were family pictures on the wall, but they were all portraits or identical prints of ones in the apartment. I'd kept very few mementos over the years and none of them were displayed.
I didn't have anything I wanted to take with me. The knowledge that I could leave at any point with just my wallet and passport filled me with a sense of relief and a thrill of excitement.
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts and I got up. I wasn't sure who it could be. Rebecca was going to come visit me, but it might've been my parents. I didn't really want to see any of them, but I couldn't think of anyone else. Unless Piper and Julien had decided to stop by, but while we'd gotten along fine at the wedding, I didn't think we were at the ‘drop by for a visit’ stage.
When I opened the door, I almost slammed it shut again. The only thing that stopped me was the fact that I couldn't move. My feet were frozen to the spot and I was pretty sure my mouth was hanging open.
“Hey, Reed.” Britni grinned up at me, her light blue-gray eyes sparkling. “Heard you were back in the city.”
“Britni.” I found my voice, and was relieved to hear it sounded normal.
“Aren't you going to invite us in?” Britni asked.
It wasn't until then that I realized she wasn't alone. The man behind her was about average in height and build. Sandy brown hair and pale green eyes. He was good-looking, I supposed, in an average sort of way. I assumed this was the new fiancé.
“Come in.” I stepped out of the way and let Britni and her guy walk on by.
“This is Jeremy MacKenzie, by the way,” Britni called over her shoulder. She waved her fingers at me, a giant diamond glinting in the light. “My fiancé. He just asked me tonight.”
“Nice to meet you, Jeremy.” A strange, surreal feeling had come over me. “And congratulations.”
Britni went straight into the kitchen and started rooting around, coming up with a bottle of wine a few seconds later. Without asking permission, she pulled a couple of glasses out of the cupboard and poured us each a glass.
“I think we need a toast,” she said, raising her glass. “To true love.”
I wa
s glad she hadn't said it after I'd taken a drink. I probably would've choked on it. As it was, I barely managed to swallow it despite how good it was. What the hell was she doing here?
“This is good, Reed.” She gave me another smile. “Then again, you always did have good taste.”
Jeremy gestured around the kitchen. “Did you hire someone or do it yourself?”
“Hired someone,” I said. “But I don't think she did much in here. Looks pretty much the same as it did when I was a kid.”
“You grew up here?” he asked.
I nodded. “On and off. We lived in the city too.”
“Well, while you two are getting to know each other, I'm going to visit the restroom.” Britni set down her glass and breezed out of the room.
“Is this as awkward for you as it is for me?” Jeremy asked, pitching his voice low so that Britni couldn't hear.
I let one side of my mouth curve up in a half smile. “I imagine so.”
“I told her we shouldn't come,” he said. “Especially not without calling first.”
“Britni gets what Britni wants,” I said wryly.
“She didn't get you,” he observed.
“She did for a while,” I countered. I grinned at him. “But I got away.”
“Rumor has it there was another woman involved.” Jeremy slid closer, his voice taking on a conspiratorial tone. “A stripper?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not exactly the whole story.”
“I didn't think so.” He reached over and put his hand on my arm. “Arranged marriages usually have secrets. I know mine does.”
I stared at his hand, my mind reeling. Was this seriously happening? I had to be reading into it, right? This was one of those platonic bromance moments, right?
“But when you have an understanding...” His hand slid up my arm and around the back of my neck.
Oh, shit.
I took a step back. “Sorry, Jeremy. I didn't mean to make you think...”
“No problem.” He took a step back and held up his hands, palm out. “My mistake. I just assumed...”
