Lawrence drove in silence for the first couple of hours. He was rarely talkative early in the morning, which suited me well. At Chippenham, we stopped for some refreshment and Lawrence arranged for the return of Mustard and Cress to Deerhurst. He mounted the box seat again with hired horses harnessed to the chaise. I stood watching the ostlers rushing about and smiled to myself. I was very glad that particular job had been such a short episode in my career.
As the new horses stepped smartly out of the yard, I swung myself up onto my perch on the chaise as it passed me, in what was now a practised manner. ‘Climb over and sit beside me, Charlie. I get a crick in my neck talking to you when you’re standing behind me,’ Lawrence requested as we drove out of the town.
‘Will it not look odd?’ I asked dubiously.
‘Not if you are driving. Besides, I don’t have a great position to maintain, nor do I care as much for appearances as my titled relative.’
‘He might wish you to care, as we are sporting his crest and his livery,’ I remarked. Lawrence shrugged and gave me a quick grin over his shoulder.
I submitted, scrambling over the back of the seat, taking care not to get my dirty shoes on it. Lawrence handed over the reins and I drove the horses along the main London road. At first I was silent, for the horses were hard-mouthed and difficult to drive and the narrow road was busy. It took all my concentration. We passed a pike and Lawrence paid the toll.
‘Mistress Martha used to go round that one,’ I said with a grin, indicating the toll-gate. ‘There’s a path over the hill.’
‘All the packhorse trains do so where they can,’ acknowledged Lawrence. ‘In a chaise, we have no choice but to pay.’
‘What did you wish to speak about?’ I asked Lawrence as we left the gate at a trot. He was sitting with a relaxed attitude, one arm thrown back across the seat behind me, watching me handle the reins.
‘Firstly, I wished to mention that you drive a pair very competently now.’
‘Thank you.’
‘And secondly … Oh, nothing in particular. This will be a long journey and I wish to be entertained. Tell me about America!’
I must have looked surprised, for he chuckled. ‘I’ve never been out of England,’ he said. ‘It must be very different to here.’
‘You wouldn’t believe how different,’ I agreed. ‘It’s a vast, wild country. And there are huge areas with no people at all, only endless forests or, further north, grassland. It’s hard to imagine riding for four or even five days and seeing no sign of civilization at all, not even a house or a ploughed field.’
‘Not even natives?’
‘Yes, sometimes. Often we saw tracks or the remains of a fire.’
‘And were you never afraid?’
‘I was rarely alone. I was travelling with the regiment, you see, and all the wives and other followers. But it was dangerous at times, which is why my parents used to dress me … ’
I stopped in confusion, realizing how I’d been about to give myself away. There was an awkward silence.
‘Yes … ?’ Lawrence prompted me. There was a sudden frown on his face.
‘ … in shabby clothes, so I didn’t look as though I were worth robbing,’ I finished lamely. I searched my mind for a change of topic, desperate to draw him off. ‘So … so, did you never consider going into the army?’
‘Oh, yes, occasionally!’ said Lawrence, apparently successfully distracted. ‘Isn’t every boy tempted by that dandy red uniform? But my father, as I told you, was a navy man, so mainly I dreamed of a blue coat, not a red one.’
‘What changed?’ I asked curiously.
‘My dear boy, do you have any idea what commissions in the army or navy cost? I imagine you must, since your father served. Quite literally a small fortune.’
‘Yes, indeed. They are beyond the pockets of all but the wealthiest,’ I agreed. ‘It’s a scandal, seeing raw rich-boy officers coming in and taking control of experienced troops. Then getting them killed as often as not.’
‘But was your father not an officer?’ asked Lawrence with a faint smile.
‘He was a major. But by promotion, not purchase. He worked and fought hard for his rank.’
Lawrence nodded and sent me another of those sideways looks. ‘Tell me some more about him,’ he invited.
‘Oh, there’s nothing much to tell. He was a good man,’ I said uncomfortably. Lawrence asked about my family too often for my liking. Instead, I began describing the scenery in the Americas, or at least what I had seen of it, while remaining vague about where I had been.
‘I see I missed a great deal in relinquishing my childhood dream,’ Lawrence said after many questions. ‘But I love the work I do on the estate.’
‘Yes, you are fortunate. What will happen when Lord Rutherford dies? Will you still have the position? I have heard that Miss Judith’s father is dead. So who is heir to the Deerhurst estate?’
Lawrence’s mouth closed in a tight line and he frowned out over the backs of the horses. They pulled us steadily along a gravel road as it wound its way up a hill.
‘Does Lord Rutherford have other children? Who is next in line?’ I persisted.
Lawrence was silent for so long I thought he wasn’t going to reply. Finally he said, ‘You haven’t heard the gossip then? In the stables or the kitchen?’
‘No, I’ve heard nothing,’ I replied.
‘I suppose you associate mainly with the younger servants and it was before their time.’ He took a deep breath. ‘There was another son. An elder son, in fact. He was the heir, not Judith’s father who was the second son.’
‘But he died too? How sad.’
‘Not exactly. I’m not supposed to speak of this. Lord Rutherford has forbidden all mention of it; of him.’
‘Really?’ I asked. ‘He’s forbidden mention of his own son?’ I recalled my own parents’ love for my brother and me. I was certain nothing we could have done would have induced them to ban all mention of us.
‘There was a disagreement,’ Mr Lawrence told me. ‘The son wished to marry some quite inferior woman on the estate; one of Rutherford’s tenants. Lord Rutherford refused to countenance such a union.’
I gasped. Lawrence noticed but misconstrued the reason. ‘It may seem strange to you,’ he explained. ‘But this was more than twenty years ago. Marriage was, still is, a way of increasing land or wealth, of achieving alliances. For the heir especially, a good marriage is of the utmost importance. If he had chosen to marry a girl with no dowry, it would have been considered bad enough. But a farm girl was not even of his class; it would have meant social disgrace. Lord Rutherford would not allow it.’
I was silent, frozen with shock at his words. I could feel my hands turn ice cold and numb on the reins as Lawrence’s words sank into my brain. I remembered Mr Saunders’ words after he had read my mother’s letter … Emily was still in love with … He had mentioned an Andrew Lawrence. The inferior woman Lawrence was talking about … That must surely have been my mother? My brain seethed with possibilities. When I tried to speak, my voice didn’t sound like my own: ‘So he didn’t marry her?’ I asked faintly.
‘He did not. But Lord Rutherford had no joy from his victory. His son disappeared. He’s thought to have run away, but no one’s ever seen or heard a trace of him since. For all we know he could be dead.’
My heart was beating so quickly I could scarcely breathe. Sensing my inattention, the horses dropped to a walk. I forced myself to concentrate and urged them into a trot again.
‘And the young woman?’ I asked. ‘What became of her?’
‘I believe she is generally thought to have taken her own life. It all happened long before I came to Deerhurst.’
I swallowed hard. ‘Mr and Mrs Saunders’ daughter,’ I said faintly. ‘It was her, wasn’t it?’
‘Ah, so you have heard the story? Yes, she was their daughter. They never recovered from the sorrow of losing her.’
‘It’s so sad,’ I whispered. Was this my m
other’s tale? She was forbidden to marry the man she loved and it broke her heart. But she had not died. I knew she’d loved my father with all her heart and soul; I’d witnessed their affection for each other every day of my childhood. But my father couldn’t have been a Lawrence. No, surely not. His name was Smith. Had my mother recovered and found love again? But the ring …
The puzzle had many more pieces now, but they still would not fit together for me. Why had my parents kept such secrets from me? It was all so confusing.
‘A very sad story indeed,’ said Lawrence beside me. He was looking into the distance, the frown still on his face. ‘Lord Rutherford still grieves for his son, although he will not show it. He is too proud. He threw himself into rebuilding his house and landscaping his park to distract himself. But still,’ he sighed, ‘I do not believe he has learned from it.’
‘He will not let Miss Judith marry as she chooses, you mean?’ I asked. I bit my lip at once, realizing that I should not betray my understanding of the family in this way. It was none of my business.
‘I apologize,’ said Mr Lawrence a little stiffly. ‘I’ve been indiscreet. I ought not to speak of the family to you in this way.’
‘I won’t say a word, I swear,’ I promised him. I slowed the horses as a wagon approached. The road was narrow and it would be tricky to pass.
Lawrence watched in silence while I negotiated the manoeuvre successfully. When we had passed it and the horses were trotting again, I asked: ‘But Mr Lawrence … to come back to my original question. If the eldest son is dead, who inherits the estate?’
There was a long pause before Lawrence replied. A shadow passed across his face. ‘Unless the son is found, I do,’ said Lawrence.
My thoughts and conjectures following the conversation with Lawrence occupied me for many days. No matter how much I puzzled over the story, I could not make sense of it. I needed to see Mrs Saunders again and I wanted to read my parents’ letters more carefully, but I had left them behind at Deerhurst.
Other than this, the long journey to London passed very pleasantly. Lawrence treated me more like a friend than a servant. I sat beside him in the chaise most of the way, driving or being driven. We ate our meals together in the taprooms of the inns in the evenings. We talked a great deal and I often needed to guard my tongue, so as not to be drawn into betraying myself. Only at night was our accommodation quite separate. Lawrence took a room in the inn. I had been allocated shared rooms with other male servants, but I chose to sleep in the chaise, wrapped in my father’s cloak.
As Lawrence drove the horses into the inn yard in London and reined them in, I recognized it as the Castle and Falcon, where Martha stayed with her packhorse train. On one wall I saw that the wanted notice with my face on it, which I had once removed, had been replaced. The new one was larger and hung there for all to see, but had faded and curled at the edges. I shivered a little. If I needed a reminder that I should not have come to London, there it was.
I looked around me and for a moment forgot the notice. To my delight, I spotted Magpie being unloaded by Jason. Unbuckling the pack from Sparrow was Martha herself. Quite forgetting my duties, I leapt down from the chaise the moment it stopped and ran to Martha.
‘Martha!’ I cried. ‘Oh, Martha, it’s so good to see you!’
She turned and stared at me blankly for a moment, her weathered face registering no recognition of this clean, well-fed boy in fine livery and a wig.
‘It’s me! Charlie!’ I cried excitedly.
Her face cracked into a grin and she pulled me into a hug. ‘I’ve been that worried about you!’ she said. ‘I went looking for you at the John of Gaunt and they would tell me no more than that they’d let you go. But I can see you’ve done well for yourself. Just look at you!’
She stood back to admire my livery and my grey wig with a broad smile. ‘That’ll be Lord Rutherford’s colours you’re wearing? However did you get yourself a place there?’
Her words recalled me to a sense of my duties, and with a hasty ‘I’ll hope to see you later,’ I hurried back to Lawrence who had stepped down from the chaise and was watching me. The ostlers had already unhitched his horses and led them away.
‘I’m so sorry, sir,’ I said contritely. ‘I worked for Martha before I went to the John of Gaunt.’
‘Yes, I remember. I have some acquaintance with Mistress Martha.’
To my surprise, Lawrence invited Martha and Jason to join us at our table in the coffee room of the inn for the evening meal. Lawrence asked Martha about life on the packhorse trains over stew and potatoes and a large jug of ale. He was relaxed and friendly with her, despite the fact that he was dressed in fine wools and soft linen while she wore a muddied woollen gown with a far-from-clean neckerchief, her red short-cloak thrown over the bench beside her.
Jason was yawning and rubbing his eyes so, the moment he had finished his food, Martha packed him off to bed. While Lawrence was ordering another jug of ale, she took the opportunity to lean over and whisper in my ear: ‘Where do you sleep? Not with the grooms? And not in his room, I hope?’ She nodded towards Lawrence.
‘No, in the chaise,’ I whispered back.
She shook her head and pursed her lips disapprovingly. ‘You come and share my room tonight,’ she whispered, then turned with a ready word and smile for Lawrence who had finished speaking to the waiter.
I accompanied Martha up the stairs to her room when we all turned in for the night. Jason was sleeping in the stables, so it was just the two of us.
‘He seems a good master,’ she said. ‘Asked questions about you when you went out to the latrine, he did. He don’t suspect you’re a girl?’
‘Not as far as I know,’ I replied. ‘Did it seem to you as though he might?’
Martha shook her head. ‘No, but he gave little enough away. So what’s it like living in such a fine household?’
‘I’m very happy there. The hours are long, but the work isn’t strenuous. Nothing like the John of Gaunt! I’ve been treated well.’
‘Lawrence is a good man. I’ve heard nothing but praise of him. But the old lord is another matter. Plenty of talk about him. Didn’t he drive his own son away?’ asked Martha.
‘Something like that,’ I agreed. ‘And he’s very bad tempered when he’s in the gout, I’m told.’
‘Oh, good Lord, child, they all are!’ Martha exclaimed. ‘I’ve heard that granddaughter’s a wild piece and all.’
I nodded. ‘Cruel to her horse, too.’
‘You can tell a lot about a person from the way they treats their animals,’ replied Martha. She pulled the shutters closed and climbed into bed, lying down heavily beside me with a sigh. I pulled off my wig and laid it carefully on the chest.
‘Eh, they’ve shaved your hair right off!’ exclaimed Martha.
‘Oh, it’s grown a good deal already!’ I assured her, rubbing my head. ‘Martha, what did Mr Lawrence ask about me?’
‘This and that,’ Martha rolled over to look at me in the gloom. ‘You’re not in love with him, are you?’
I didn’t answer and was glad the semi-darkness hid my burning cheeks. Martha groaned. ‘There’s no future in that but heart-break, child,’ she said shrewdly. ‘He may be a steward but he’s gentleman born; he’ll not marry such as you. The old lord is as stiff-necked as they come. He’d never allow it in a thousand years! Lawrence is his family.’
‘I know that, Martha,’ I said softly. ‘I knew it even before he told me how close he stands to the inheritance. I’m not stupid.’ I thought of my mother. She too had loved a man who was forbidden to her.
‘All girls in love are stupid,’ Martha said roundly. ‘You’re no different! You keep your sex quiet or there’s no saying what might befall you. There’s no trusting the gentry! He’ll get you with child and then pack you off without a penny. You and me are barely human to such as he!’
‘Did he really seem so depraved to you?’ I asked, my face burning.
‘Take it from me, Ch
arlie: in your situation, you can’t be too careful,’ warned Martha.
‘You’re right, of course,’ I agreed, hoping very much that she was wrong. I changed the subject, preferring to keep my feelings to myself. ‘But in fact, Martha, the real danger to me at Deerhurst is a kitchen maid.’
I told Martha about Susan and she roared with laughter. ‘Promise me one thing, Charlie,’ she said before we fell asleep. ‘If you’re ever in any trouble, and I don’t just mean the family way, any trouble at all, you’ll come straight to me. Don’t you hesitate! I’m not farther away than you can walk in a day. You come to Martha and I’ll help you out if I can. You understand?’
‘Thank you, Martha,’ I said gratefully. ‘You have the kindest heart.’ There was danger pressing in on me from all sides; my virtue was the least of my troubles. But it was good to know I had a friend.
‘Bless you, child. I know more of poverty and hardship than I care to remember,’ said Martha. ‘And I hope more than you will ever experience. Sleep now; it’s an early start in the morning.’
I rose quietly before dawn the next morning and crept down to the yard to remove the poster once more. But when I got there, it was gone. The coincidence was uncanny and sent a chill of fear down my spine. Had someone recognized me? Perhaps it was chance and someone had happened to remove it. I tried to shake off an intense feeling of unease and went softly back to bed for an hour.
The auction yard was busy, even though we arrived early. I’d spent two days hanging around the stables of the Castle and Falcon while Lawrence conducted business in the city. He hadn’t invited me to join him and I didn’t ask what he’d been doing. Whatever it was, it had put a frown on his face and made him thoughtful and distracted.
Runaway Page 15
