I can feel the chill of the fall morning tickling my bare feet. It actually feels nice to have a clear head without the influence of the alcohol running through my veins at all hours of the day and night.
I know she’s watching me and something stirs down below with only the slightest provocation to get me in the mood.
The glass is within my reach and I savor every drop until there’s nothing left. I avoid sugars and limit my intake of salt to make it possible to be around for when my daughter finds the love of her life and walks down the aisle. I want to be there to give her away with a smile of a father’s pride in my eyes.
I’ve been around the world a few times, but this new wide-eyed innocence makes me appreciate the little things more than ever. The laughter of a child and the smell of pastry at the crack of dawn have me finally understanding the meaning of life.
It’s not about the money and notoriety. It’s not even about those willing victims under my spell with their legs in the air at the end of the night screaming my name on the tip of the tongue for everybody to hear.
“I can’t get over the new transformation, but I have to wonder how long it’s going to last.” She’s standing there and I know I’ve had some hiccups in the past, but this is different.
I’m doing this for my daughter and there is no greater love than a father has for their daughter. I thought I lost her, but she is the one that reached out to me and not the other way around.
Finding her after all this time opens up my eyes. Her mother’s demise set her on a path of redemption. Her demons are extensive and she’s trying to make a new start with a clean slate. I promised her to do the same thing and we became each other’s support system.
I can’t go one day without calling her and her voice solidifies the bond. I drowned myself at the bottom of a bottle and found comfort in the arms of those female fans begging for their 5 minutes of fame.
Those days are behind me.
“I would never be able to do this alone and your help has been invaluable. The detoxification of my body and soul has been taxing. I know my daughter has been whispering into your ear to keep me on the straight and narrow. I forget sometimes that it takes more than me to make all of this possible,” I’m addressing the elephant in the room and I can tell from her expression that this declaration comes out of the blue.
“I wouldn’t hear the end of it if I allowed you to get away with anything. Your daughter can be very convincing when she wants to be and I’m inclined to understand where she’s coming from. I can’t be holding your hand 24 hours a day and seven days a week, but I can help to guide you in the right direction with her continued support,” She said while I was following her bare legs all the way up to where her yellow leather skirt is hiding what kind of panties she’s wearing.
It has become a guessing game to occupy my mind. I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I feel a certain guilty pleasure. It’s the unknown that consumes me. I wonder what’s going to happen when I finally get a brief peek behind the curtain.
“She is stubborn, but she takes after her mother in that way. It’s not in your job description to follow her orders. I would love to say you don’t have to be around to police my actions, but I’m not sure how true that is,” I said, feeling the meditation and breathing techniques taught to me by my daughter making me feel calm.
“I have never been one to get into this new age stuff. I do have a lot of stress in my life for obvious reasons. I’m juggling other things on your behalf including reading your fan mail. Speaking of which, I think I should address something of a concern with you.” She has my undivided attention and I have learned to multitask.
“I know what you are going to say,” I blurt out without thinking about the position I’m putting her in.
There are always going to be a few bad apples in the bunch. I’ve had my fair share of death threats and overzealous fans making me a little nervous. It’s not uncommon for fame to bring out some of the crazies. I actually don’t mind the attention, but sometimes it can be a little overwhelming.
I get stacks of letters in a combination of threats and marriage proposals by the thousands. I don’t have the time to weed through them. I depend on Quinn to sacrifice her time to make my life easier.
It’s not lost on me how she dresses.
It’s actually refreshing to see her go out of her way not to project a raw sexuality to make things awkward between us. The buttons covering her assets has me imagining what treasure awaits the fortunate man to undress her until she is exposed to his eager eyes.
“I don’t think you do and I’ve been keeping something from you. You didn’t need the hassle and this tour is very important to your fans. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but this one fan is taking things too far.” She advises and I can see how this worries her which makes it important to me to quell her unfounded fears.
Her hands are literally shaking when she produces a stack of letters bound by a pink ribbon giving it a feminine touch.
The penthouse suite gives me all the room I need, but I still feel like a trapped rat. I can’t go anywhere without being recognized no matter what kind of disguise I’m wearing at the time of day or night. I’m trying to make the best of a bad situation. Most people are never going to cry for me and would give practically anything to be in my shoes without knowing all the facts.
“I can see this is important to you, but I don’t understand why you are getting bent out of shape over nothing. These things happen all the time and fans become too damn loyal for their own good. I know it isn’t easy to see how they react to my presence, but I can’t help their responses.” I get up and she follows me back into the penthouse with this audible sigh of appreciation she probably doesn’t think that I hear.
“I would never mention this if I didn’t think it was important. You should really take this more seriously. We both know some fans can go too close to the sun and get burned for their efforts to be close to you. That’s why we hire personal security to keep them from reaching your inner sanctum,” She said while still holding onto the letters, but this isn’t the first time I’ve seen them without her knowledge.
“Look around you and tell me that I’m not safe,” I said with a motion of my hands referring to the burly man outside my door.
“We both know it doesn’t matter what kind of security measures are in place to keep you safe. If somebody really wanted to get to you then there would always be a way around the precautions.” She takes out this black booklet I see her carrying around and begins to show me every little detail of the painstaking measures she has gone to.
“I’m not some little child that needs you to keep things from me for my own good. I’m perfectly capable of seeing the ugliness of my career. No artist is immune to the pitfalls of this chosen profession,” I holler over my shoulder from the master bedroom with her standing at the threshold trying not to look.
She breathes deeply and tosses the letters onto the bed scattering them across the white pristine sheet. There are no ruffles and it doesn’t look like a marathon sex session has happened in it. In the old days, I would not recommend bringing a black light into whatever room I stayed in after a show. It would reveal a Jackson Pollock painting of various bodily fluids. I turn and she’s gone and I instantly miss her.
I know she’s coming back for dinner. I plan to make the most of the opportunity to get to know her.
Chapter 3
Quinn
I could easily recognize the damaged soul who has written those letters in blood red lipstick. The woman is suffering silently and is crying out for help. Raven is never interested, but his sober state has given him a new perspective.
The dress isn’t in my wardrobe and it’s an impulse buy. This is more flesh than I’ve ever revealed in the past. I don’t know what has compelled me to show this side of myself, but I want him to see me for the first time without the blinders of the alcohol clouding his vision.
; I’m walking down the hall and the red 4-inch heels are making me feel uncomfortable. I almost turn back, but my curiosity is piqued. He’s never invited me to dinner and we barely spend any time together outside of going over the preparations for his show.
I open the door and there’s this lavish display of silverware gleaming on the table outside on the balcony with the wind rustling the white tablecloth. There’s no sign of him and then I hear his footsteps behind me.
“Quinn, I know we don’t know each other, but I want that to change. We can still have a professional arrangement and get to know each other at the same time.” He said with his hands on my shoulders sending a tremble down to my lower extremities.
“I hope this isn’t your way of trying to get into my pants. I’m not one of those easy marks and I would rather keep things strictly platonic. I don’t mind sharing a meal, but don’t even think it’s going to lead to something more,” I warn afraid he was going to get some kind of mixed signal to green light his pursuit of me with his charismatic personality.
“Perish the thought. I would never assume anything when it comes to our working relationship. You probably already have someone waiting for you. I would never try to tempt you with something forbidden,” He says with a straight face and I don’t feel like he’s trying to draw me into his web of depravity.
“I think it’s only fair to get everything out in the open before we sit down to dinner. That way there is no misinterpretation. I would hate to think you would get the wrong idea from how I am dressed,” I mention while doing a twirl in front of him with a whistle of appreciation coming from his lips.
Working alongside him has made me cautious and even the hint of impropriety could make him feel that I was asking for more than his admiration.
The candle is flickering with the lights dimmed revealing a romantic atmosphere most women would not be able to ignore. I can smell his overpowering cologne giving me ideas of how his scent will penetrate the fabric of my dress with his hands all over me.
I want him to strip me and to show me the way that he makes women scream in the dead of the night. I hear it often enough to know their reaction is the real thing. I can’t possibly mistake it for something else.
“I never wanted you to think this whole thing is about getting you into bed. I hope you don’t take this personally, but you’re not my usual type. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but it’s not like I’m coming onto to you. It is strictly a nice thing I’m doing even though it might not seem like it.” He denies having any other motive and I’m secretly disappointed.
“I can’t decide whether or not to take that as a compliment or an insult.” He didn’t see me as a viable conquest and I should be relieved, but I’m not.
“I didn’t mean anything by it. I don’t know what I’m saying and without alcohol, I’m pretty much at a loss for words when it comes to idle chitchat.” He pulls open the chair like a gentleman, but his actions certainly don’t match up to his words.
I sit down a little taken back by his flippant attitude and how he can easily dismiss me out of hand because I’m not some blond airhead. My whole attitude changes from being open, to being closed emotionally.
Any possibility of this turning into a torrid romance is dashed.
“Stop talking and you’re only making things worse. Let’s forget everything and enjoy this wonderful meal you have prepared,” I tease, knowing full well his ability in the kitchen is minimal at best.
He can barely boil water and feeding himself is usually at the tips of his fingers. There is always a medley of different restaurant menus on hand at his request. There’s no telling when he will get the munchies and need something to satisfy his appetite.
“Let’s talk about something else and give me time to pull my foot out of my mouth. I know you have been working tirelessly behind the scenes and I would like to reward you for everything you have done for me. This is a bonus and does not make you obligated to show me your affection in any way,” He said being very careful about his words while treading on thin ice when it came to human resources getting involved.
“I know and you already said you don’t see me that way which is perfectly fine by me. I don’t need to be on the defensive fending off your advances like interns at the White House.” I said dismissively using a bit of levity to make the evening more palatable.
The steaming plates had a variety of seafood including lobsters still in the shell. He didn’t usually eat it that way. I loved that initial battle where the lobster had one last chance to get his pound of flesh for being boiled alive. His claws drawing blood always made me smile and made the lobster that much tastier when it finally touched my lips.
“I’m not saying anything more without my lawyer present.” He’s making a joke and I feel compelled to laugh underneath my breath with a snicker or two.
I crack into the lobster and the meat is succulently accompanied by garlic butter on the side for dipping.
It brings me back to my childhood days spending the summers in Maine with my family. The salt air and the seafood went hand in hand. My best memories are of a bubbling cauldron of clams and lobster on the beach. It is easily the best way to make new friends in a new place.
I don’t know where you went, but I have to say the smile on your face touches me deeply. I mentioned something about a reward. Don’t try to give it back and it’s non-refundable.” He chose that moment while my hands are still sticky to push across the table a white envelope sealed to make it a surprise when I finally reveal the contents.
“You seem to know me better than I thought you did and I wonder what gave you this new insight. Could it be that somebody has been whispering into your ear about some of my favourite things?” I ask in such a way that it didn’t seem intrusive.
I look up from my meal to see him trying not to make eye contact.
“I might have taken the liberty of calling your best friend. You mentioned how she has always been with you and that you still keep in touch even after moving thousands of miles away.” He was referring to Francesca, a European student staying at my family home for her informative years in high school.
“It’s possible I mentioned her in passing, but I really didn’t think you were listening. I guess I have to be careful about what I say around you. You could use it against me and try to lower my guard.” I clean my fingers with a napkin before opening up the envelope to reveal first class tickets for a trip around the world.
I am speechless unable to voice what is going on inside of me. He is obviously waiting for some kind of response. I’m tempted to jump onto the table and do a silly dance, but I refrain from acting like an idiot.
There is actually an itinerary with a list of places where my trip is going to take me. I really didn’t have the chance to travel much outside of the continental United States. He had just returned from a European tour a few months before I replaced his previous Jane Friday.
“I do listen contrary to popular belief. I put things in the vault and I retrieve them when I need them the most. Those are some of the places on your bucket list including Australia and Russia,” He said, pointing it out with his finger where I could see how he has circled it in bold indelible red ink.
“I’m not sure what you want me to say,” I said, realizing that he isn’t looking for anything in return and this is a lot more than I could say for some men in his position.
He is temporarily occupied enjoying the meal. These are the finer things in life.
The suit he is wearing is something that makes me imagine how my fingers will feel stripping him of his clothing.
The world is different when he isn’t throwing things and having a tantrum. I have to admit the one thing I’m trying to avoid is beginning to become part of my waking fantasies.
“There are two tickets and something like this should be enjoyed with someone else. Take a friend and might I suggest someone that will make the experience more than sightseeing.”
He pushes aside the plate and wipes his mouth with the napkin before chasing it down with the champagne chilled in a bucket of ice right there in front of me.
I join him and find the bubbles tickle my nose.
There are suddenly fireworks streaming in the sky with the dazzling display of lights, not unlike the ones that I saw on stage during the rehearsal and the main event.
I get up and stare without blinking, sipping from the glass and feeling the effects of the liquor lowering my inhibitions. I’m lost in the wonder of those lights exploding in the sky. I know without asking that he is responsible.
“I thought you deserved something special for putting up with me these last couple of months. I know I have not made it easy on you, but it’s not entirely my fault. My daughter made me see that I can be my own worst enemy. I know things can be different and I’m doing my best to change some of my bad habits.” He’s standing next to me and I want him to touch me, but I can’t say the words.
“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble for me. It’s not like we’re being intimate. This is just a casual dinner between colleagues to get to know each other.” I’m doing my best to keep things neutral, but it’s not easy when his hot breath draws me into his gravity.
“I recognize talent, but the liquor has sheltered me from the influence you have in my life.” He’s saying all the right things.
I’m going to have to make a hasty exit before I do something a little more daring than I would like.
“This is a small gesture of your gratitude. This is going to take some getting used to. I’m usually able to trust myself around you, but the way that you look at me has me at a loss for words. I’m going to leave,” I pant, feeling out of sorts with my body attempting to betray my better judgment.
“You don’t have to be afraid of me trying something. I’m definitely aware of how my behaviour affects those around me. I’m enjoying talking to you and I’ve never had this much fun with my clothes on.”
Hot Rock Star Daddy An Alpha Male Romance Page 2
