“Stop trying to make me feel better. Why can’t you be the same man you were when you were drinking. Carousing with the ladies and sleeping with anything with two legs is how I should remember you. You had to go on the wagon and make things more difficult. Your sobriety is what changed everything,” She sobs and breaks down with her hands against her face racked with what I can only assume is guilt.
“I can’t stand seeing you like this.” I reach for a handkerchief and I toss it across the room until it lands in her lap.
“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be. I can’t even look at you and maybe you should turn around until I get this off of my chest. I have to do this and there’s no way to move forward until I tell you the unvarnished truth.” She scaring me and I take a step back afraid of the metaphorical punch that is going to knock me out.
I turn around with my back toward her at her request. It feels stupid, but there’s nothing that she couldn’t ask me that I wouldn’t comply with.
“I will do what you ask, but it’s under protest. I don’t know why we are going through these theatrics. I’m in love…”
“Don’t even say those three words. I’m not worthy of your affection and certainly not worthy of your love. Everything I have done has been orchestrated to get close to you. I hate myself and so should you. This is killing me, but I have to do it.” I can’t see her, but the tone of her voice is cracked and she trips over her words.
“Enough is enough. What about us? I can’t stand here any longer and listen to you beat yourself up. This is the start of something beautiful and I don’t want you to make it ugly. It’s time to let it go.” I don’t want to hear it and her angst worries me.
She comes over and wraps her hands around my waist with her head against my back.
She doesn’t say anything and I don’t want to break the spell she is under. It feels nice and comfortable, but it’s nothing like an old shoe. She fits me and I feel I have found my second half. There’s a ray of light in her eyes that light up a room every time she steps into it.
Her fingers are freezing cold and I can feel them through my shirt. Those fingernails are frantically trying to hold me like I’m going to slip through her fingertips. I can hear her breathing and I feel close to losing her.
I want to grasp onto some kind of lifeline where we can go back to when things were simple. Working side by side is a pleasure. I hardly ever have to ask for anything which doesn’t suddenly appear out of nowhere. I’ve known for quite some time she’s been suffering, but I thought it was a personal matter and none of my business.
Time stood still with only the two of us in this bubble of existence. This is the most normal relationship I’ve ever been in. We do have our issues, but compromise has become our friend. We talk about things until we come to a reasonable solution to benefit both of us.
“We met a few years ago and I naively thought you were the one. It was only a brief encounter, but it changed me. We danced and held each other, but I think you sensed something off. I wanted you, but you rebuffed my advances and turned your attention to another. I could only see red and it got worse when I followed you into the bathroom in that nightclub,” She said with the floodgates opening to a truth that made me feel bad.
“I apologize and my only excuse is that I was probably drunk. I have these blank moments in my life where I see a sea of distorted female faces looking up at me from the same blood red silk sheets. I wasn’t a good man back then and you should count your blessings we didn’t go to bed with one another. I would have forgotten about you by no fault of your own,” I said not wanting her to be defined by my callous behaviour.
“I set out to systematically destroy you from the inside. I was the one who encouraged your band mates to think about breaking up the group. It would’ve worked had it not been for your sobriety. They were ready to break ties and then things changed when you became a better man.” She’s showing me a different side of her and I’m not sure I want to see it.
“I can forgive you and no harm was done.”
“You don’t know the full story and what lengths I have gone to. I don’t recognize the person looking back of me in the mirror in the morning. I became something else. Manipulation was not the only weapon in my arsenal. I hired somebody to publicly make you a pariah with your fans. I suspect he’s the one that caused the fire in the auditorium, but he went too far.” I listen and I want to understand, but she put my daughter in jeopardy by her actions.
It’s a bitter pill to swallow and I slowly disengage from her by prying her fingers off of me one at a time.
She falls to her hands and knees clutching my leg.
“Please…don’t leave me because of my blind rage to get revenge,” She pleads and I drag her by bodily force over to the door.
“My daughter almost died. I don’t know what you expect me to say. That was a god damn grenade you just threw in my lap. You made me love you and hate you at the same time. I feel like I’m being torn in half in a tug of war between what my heart and my head is saying.” I have to get away from her, but she holds me with a death grip.
“I’ve done my best to fix things. I made sure nobody can get to you without going through Bruce. He comes highly recommended. You have to know that if I could take it back then I would. It was stupid and reckless, but I was hurt. It’s no excuse, but it is an explanation.” She finally lets me go and I feel this sense of relief, but there’s this deep-seated pain in my heart that I can’t seem to ignore.
I slam the door hearing it rattle on its hinges emphasizing my rage and storm down the hall with my shadow following from behind. I’m actually grateful that he’s there now that I know the reason why.
I get this feeling inside my bones the love I have for her is never going to be the same. I stop at the elevator considering my options and then I let the doors close on what could be the last time I ever saw her face.
I already have the phone in my hand sending her a brief and poignant message about her employment no longer being required. I couldn’t imagine working with her and seeing her face after what she has done.
I thought there was nothing that could break us up, but I was wrong.
Chapter 11
Quinn
I can’t bring myself to stay in the same town with him playing for a sold-out crowd. I keep looking at the message like some kind of form letter giving me my pink slip. His words have no emotion clinical and sterile like somebody that is treating me like a number instead of a person.
The auditorium is under renovations and the new venue is a little smaller. It’s a convention center, but it doesn’t stop his loyal followers from coming in droves.
I’m in the taxi at 10:00 PM on my way to the Airport to get some distance.
I just spent 3 hours talking with the police thinking they were going to charge me for hiring an assassination, but those words never came out of my mouth.
They told me they were in contact with Raven and he wasn’t pressing charges.
They found the guy and he was being held on fraud charges. He apparently was taking half the payment from other clients and not following through.
The fire at the auditorium was an accident. Faulty wiring was the cause. I had confessed for nothing.
The man I had hired purposely kept the contact to e-mail exchanges to avoid any talk about murder. It was a moral grey area and I should’ve been grateful, but I actually wanted to be punished. I could tell from their expression they thought I was despicable, but they couldn’t hate me more than I hated myself.
“Could you stop at the front doors and wait for me? I won’t be long and you can keep the meter running.” I ask and he responds with a Jamaican accent I can barely understand.
I take it as an omen when I get out and he doesn’t drive off to find another fare. I step away from the taxi and begin the slow climb to the front door. I still have my credentials and those manning the door don’t even blink an eye.
I follow the sound of his voice and slip backstage without being noticed. I see him onstage acting like everything is normal. It hurts to think that he can forget about me so easily when I can’t seem to get him out of my head.
“You really shouldn’t be here. I hired you because of your credentials, but I have recently learned they were fabricated. I should have made sure that your name was at the door to prevent you from entering, but I never thought that you would have the balls to show up here.” Tyson is the last person I’m expecting to see.
“I know that you think I’m probably crazy, but I’m really not thinking clearly. I feel bad and I want one last chance to see him to give him my heartfelt apology.” I can’t seem to stop looking at Raven on stage with the blinding lights from his show keeping him from seeing me.
Tyson motions for security and I don’t blame him for acting defensively. They grab me and I struggle, but their muscular bodies are easily able to detain me. I shake them loose and straighten my purple leather jacket feeling like they are invading my personal space.
“I know the way and I don’t need you to escort me out.” They still shadow me to the door and I look back to see them crossing their arms defiantly daring me to confront them.
I walk down the stairs and I still feel like I have unfinished business with Raven. The driver of the taxi is preoccupied with some kind of game on his phone. I take a leisurely walk around the property not really knowing what I’m going to do until I see Bruce at the back door.
He thrusts out his hands to stop me from taking another step, but I persevere until we are face to face.
“I need to get in to see him and you’re the only one that can help me. Show some pity. I just need a few seconds and then I will gladly disappear from his life,” I plead and I actually get down on my knees holding my hands out in front of me, trying to play on his sympathies.
“I don’t want to lose my job. Don’t humiliate yourself any further.” The rejection stings and I get up trying to compose myself.
He goes back in and closes the door and with it the possibility of finding true love.
It’s my birthday and the only thing I want is to see him again, but I can’t even get that. I guess the punishment does fit the crime.
There’s this light sprinkling of rain and I almost laugh at how the world has been conspiring to keep us away from one another. I hang my head in shame thinking about all the ways I could’ve made things different and didn’t.
My last chance was with Bruce and it just went up in flames.
Something catches my ear and I hear the unmistakable sound of the chords of an acoustic guitar playing behind me. I turn slowly and I see someone framed in the doorway before Raven suddenly emerges wearing those damn leather pants.
“I hear it’s somebody’s birthday and it just so happens I have composed something special for her. I know she’s feeling down and I hope this little song brightens up per day.” The melody being strummed with careful consideration is of a ballad soft and sweet.
I was getting my own private show and he literally made me speechless. It was almost magical with the clouds departing leaving behind a blanket of cosmic stars shining down from above.
I see his mouth about to move and I find myself interested in what he is going to say. This is from the heart.
“Woke up this morning, realized it’s your birthday. Thought a lot, to wish you in a different way.
I’m afraid I don’t want to overdo this, but yes I must say, writing for you is bliss.
Opening up your picture finding what to write, lost in your eyes, shining so bright.
Glanced at your face, thought what else to write about. Damn, I couldn’t take my eyes off of that little pout.
Looked at your curls falling the perfect way, your bun held up high, as roses in a bouquet.
You’re beautiful not like those girls in movies. You’re beautiful for the way you think, bold and free.
You’re beautiful for the sparkle in your eyes. When you talk about something you love, it glows like fireflies.
You’re beautiful because you make others smile. It doesn’t matter if you have to go the extra mile.
No, you’re beautiful not for something as temporary as your looks. You’re beautiful deep down that soul of yours.” He stops and drops the guitar and I feel hopeful for the first time since uttering the truth.
I squeal from surprise when he lifts me in his arms and twirls me around making the world spin on its axis. He’s smiling and it’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.
He finally puts me back on the ground and I feel a little dizzy. I fall back feeling faint but he’s there to make sure no harm comes to me.
“I heard what you said to Bruce and I couldn’t let you leave. I’m still a little angry, but I think I’ll get over it. Time does heal all wounds. That song comes from thinking about you. I was informed this morning it’s your birthday and I found myself inspired to come up with something unique. I was going to send it to you as a farewell parting gift, but it’s so much better when I can play it in person to see your reaction,” He says a mouthful.
I’m not sure what has brought upon this new change of heart until I see her at the door clapping with this big smile on her face.
“I knew that the two of you were meant to be together. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. He’s stubborn, but I can be quite convincing when I put my mind to it. I reminded him that his feelings for you didn’t vanish overnight, but I did understand the sentiment of kicking you to the curb. He told me everything and I had to put myself in your shoes to understand.” Tamara walks over to me with the fringes of her custom-made suede brown jacket swaying in the breeze.
She hugs me and I break down in tears until Raven wipes away those tears with the pad of his thumb. We touch foreheads and close our eyes.
“I don’t think the audience is going to get an encore unless of course, my daughter is willing to step in. You and I need some time alone and my hotel room beckons.” He touches my hand and somehow his touch soothes away the animosity between us.
“I think that I can be persuaded to give them a brief peek at the album I have been producing. I’m not you, but I don’t think there’s going to be any complaints. Get out of here.” She ushers us to the black limousine idling in the parking lot at the far corner.
The sky opens up and we are doused. We get in the limousine and I’m soaked to the bone, but I know my clothes are not going to remain on for very long.
I notice the taxi is gone and it didn’t wait around most likely being given a better offer. I snuggle up to Raven, but I’m still hearing his melodic words ringing in my ears.
Chapter 12
Raven
I carry her down the hallway in a mad rush to get into the hotel room. The card slips easily into the slot and I kick the door open to something I have arranged ahead of time.
A medley of different flower petals is scattered on the bed in preparation for this moment. The multi colors stun her into silence and I put her down with her bending over in front of me to spread those flowers away from our love nest.
“This is so much better than what I thought I was going to be doing for my birthday. I think about what would’ve happened if I didn’t walk around to the back of the building. We wouldn’t be here and I would be on a plane going to the city of lights to find some perspective.” She was about to embark on a journey to travel the world without somebody special to spend it with.
It’s sacrilege to let her go alone when I can easily accompany her by postponing the last destination on my tour. I actually have an idea where we can spend a few months traveling and seeing things through her eyes.
“I must
say you look great in that white dress, but I’m betting you look a whole lot better out of it.” With those words, I use two fingers, one from each hand, to lower the straps until gravity is keeping it up.
She looks at me and I feel a connection like this blast of electricity between my eyes.
The dress struggles to remain afloat and then she takes one breath and exhales letting the shelter of the dress fall to her feet. She steps out of it wearing this red ensemble of lingerie made of silk and quite transparent.
I strike a match to her libido by grazing my fingertips over the cups. It comes loose and I toss it aside to see a vision of naked wonder in front of me from the waist up. I lower my head and suckle on her nipples, biting gently and grazing my teeth over the surface.
“My heart is beating out of my chest,” She moans and there’s nothing between us preventing us from being together.
My right-hand finds the waistband of her panties and I sneak in until I can experience her excitement on the tip of my finger. She’s soaking wet and I take that finger from inside of her panties to run it around the shape of her mouth.
She sighs deeply and I watch her sucking my finger placing obscene ideas in my head. Her eyes glaze over and there’s a low hum underneath her breath vibrating against my finger
I’m looking forward to waking up in the morning and giving her an eye opener to remember. That will have to wait and my obligation to please her is strong with conviction.
I place my hand against her chest and I push lightly until she is lying back on the bed inviting me with a come-hither motion with her finger.
“I’m yours for the taking. Give me a reason to trust again. I’ve been out of the game for too long. I’m glad you’re the one that is going to remind me what I have been missing,” she slithers up along the silk sheets, bunching them up around her until she is lying back on the pillow.
Hot Rock Star Daddy An Alpha Male Romance Page 7
