Afshin’s mystical-death experience of Jesus was not a conversion through words of religion or doctrine. Christ responded to Afshin’s sincere desire to be forgiven. Crying out to the universe, Jesus appeared to him and forgave him. He showed Afshin that love and mercy, rather than hatred and anger, are the truth.
Bridget observed the actual process of forgiveness when she met Christ in her near-death experience:
At this point, a Being made of Light came to my side. I neither was raised religious nor was I baptized. I could be wrong but, it felt like what people call Christ. It was not the Christ we see in paintings or pictures. It was not the Christ we hear about from the Evangelicals. It was not America’s Christ or any other representation of Christ I have come across. This was a Being so pure, so benevolent, and so non-judgmental I could barely comprehend the level of compassion this Being possessed in the small yet brilliant Light it was. Not until He touched me, said, ‘I’ll take that, it’s for me’, took the beam from me, and touched me, was I even able to fathom this amazing Love. His Light seemed to go dim for an “instant” and the beam disappeared. Then He said, ‘you are forgiven.’ 2
Bridget and Afshin are two dramatic examples of Christ’s forgiveness. A cry out for God’s help begins filtering Grace into our soul, but going forward, we must remain mindful of our actions, our thoughts, and our lessons we have yet to overcome.
The Secret of Eternal Life
Experiencing Christ’s forgiveness is the beginning of our journey. Jesus’ words of salvation are redemptive. However, we must also learn to forgive others. Robyn discovered this secret when her husband brutally assaulted her with an intent to kill. Her husband had stabbed her repeatedly in the bathroom, covering her white blouse and blue skirt with blood, threatened to pour gasoline over her and set her on fire. The situation reached a fatal moment, when her husband told her to lay down on the floor, so he could kill her, and said:
You’re dead, [expletive], no matter what. During that hour, he had already told me exactly what he was going to do to me. Besides telling me he was going to cut off my nose and breasts, his final plan was to light me on fire with gasoline. I knew he had a 5-gallon can in the garage. During the hour I had been praying, ‘Please Dear God, let this cup pass from me. No one is coming to save me, no one heard me scream, no one.’
…It was at this point I “knew” I was in two places at the same time. I left my body and passed through a tunnel of Light which took me to a door of brilliant Light. The door opened. I knelt down (and saw I was dressed in a dark robe of some sort). As I knelt, I looked up to see Jesus in front of me nailed to the cross, He looked down directly into my eyes. I’ve never seen eyes like those before or since. As he looked into my eyes, I asked Him, without speaking words, ‘What do I do?’
He answered without speaking words, ‘Forgive him.’ As He “said” the words, it was done. The forgiveness happened in that very instant.
I was returned fully to my body in the bathroom but everything had changed, and I knew this. While I was “gone”, my husband had continued shaving my head so now there was only one inch left to shave. I opened my mouth and started to speak...using words I did not consciously choose or have any control over whatsoever. The first words that came out of my mouth were ‘The water will make everything okay.’
When I said the word “water”, I noticed he put the razorblade down and seemed to almost go into a trance. He stared at himself in the mirror as if waiting for my next words. I repeated again, ‘Everything’s okay. The water will heal everything.’
Her husband continued staring into the mirror, waiting. She then instructed him to take off his clothes and get into the shower:
…I felt surrounded by a protective force that was explosive. It felt as if the universe itself was trying to fit into that small bathroom and the air inside the room became alive with a profound life force - I could actually see particles of some sort in the air surrounding me and the walls appeared to be pulsating and expanding. Something was happening outside of myself that made me a witness. Jesus’ words evoked a power I became a part of, but it did not emanate from me. As an individual human being, at that moment I did not exist, but rather I was one with the spiritual force that was enveloping me. I knew even with the horror of what was still happening to me in that room that a power beyond myself was in control and I had surrendered to it by forgiving my husband.
The act of forgiveness was the key that unlocked the door, and it was my surrendering to it that allowed me to be the empty vessel, so its power could be made manifest. The healing words that came out of my mouth were not my words. I spoke them, but they were coming from somewhere else. “I” did not exist. There was only Love, pure love, and it was all-powerful.
…As the words kept coming out of my mouth, I felt as if my veins were being injected with a substance. I can only describe it this way—the substance felt like liquid thought going into my veins and coursing throughout my entire body so the only thought I consciously had was ‘Love is the greatest power in the universe.
…At the time this all happened to me, I was reading more about Buddhism than Christianity. I had not grown up in a family with religion and so had taken it upon myself to read the entire New Testament several years before this happened. However, the majority of my reading was about Eastern philosophies since I was a teenager. So it’s more than interesting that it was Jesus, not Buddha, who appeared to me in that hour of need to save me. I believe the message of forgiveness had to come directly from the Source, and that was Christ. Still, I’m at a loss for words to explain it.3
Robyn wrote after her NDE: “He planned to pour gasoline over me, but instead I poured water over him...and all was healed. Jesus proved to me that His words are as alive today as they were 2000 years ago when he said, “Forgive him, for he knows not what he does.”
How has this concept of forgiveness affected her since? “I taught my three sons to forgive so when their father got out of prison they would be able to communicate with him from a place of peace.” Robyn’s experience taught her, “Forgiveness releases us from the burden of judgment.” Saint John Gualbert, who founded the mountaintop Abbey of Vallambrosa in 1073 A.D., has a motto about forgiveness I think we all should remember, “He who cannot forgive others destroys a bridge over which he must himself pass, for every man has need of forgiveness.”
Redemption happens in many ways. It happens when we experience the forgiveness of Christ, when we forgive others, and when we forgive ourselves. People of all faiths carry the weight of self-judgment. Many Christians have been conditioned by the concept of ‘original sin’ to expect recrimination, judgment and punishment for their sins when they die, but are shocked to find no judgment and only unqualified acceptance and forgiveness from the Being of Light.
In chapter 5, we talked about how our lack of alrightness (the ability to love ourselves) drives how we communicate, think and act. Our successful ability to love others stems from our own success of loving ourselves. How do we find the experience of loving ourselves, so we don’t give people the power to hurt us anymore? How do we learn to feel alright and gain confidence in ourselves? Lao Tzu describes the importance of alrightness:
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.4
A transformational experience of love helps us walk the 13th path. Barry didn’t remember anything about his attackers. They had ambushed and beaten him after a rodeo and he woke up in the hospital. After the doctors began working on him, Barry blacked out and had an exceptional NDE that taught him God loves us no matter what:
I was off, outside somewhere. I was so mad at God for letting this happen. I cursed, yelled, screamed, and said ‘What is this be good to your fellow man crap?’
I screamed, ‘How could you (God) be
tray and ambush me like this? I do all of this good stuff and look what you give me. You are a lying double-crossing [expletive].’ I yelled, kicked, punched, and swore as best I could. I was screaming and crying and mad I couldn’t curse better.
Then, as all of this is happening, I felt what was like, a warm hand come down and just cradle me. I screamed louder, kicked, and hit, and the hand just held me. It exuded the most perfect Love and warmth and softness, and absolutely no judgment. But my rage continued, because now I had something to fight against. I screamed my lungs out and kicked and hit, and from out of the hand came a voice. It said, in the softest, nicest, most honest, beautiful, trustworthy voice, ‘Barry, all you need to know is I love you absolutely, no matter what.’
That made me even madder. I yelled and cried, and cursed, and cried, and hit, and cried, for what seemed like a long time. I challenged the voice and said, ‘Oh yeah. What if I was a pedophile, a murderer, or a wife beater? Then, would you still love me?... You liar!’
The voice just kept saying, ‘None of that matters. All you need to know is that I love you, absolutely no matter what.’
After what seemed a long time of this, I finally wore out and just fell down and cried, and cried, and cried. And the hand with the perfect Love, far softer and more perfect than ever experienced here on Earth, just held me and kept saying, ‘All you really need to know is that I love you absolutely, no matter what.’
I just gave up. And as He held me, I felt a Love and a trustworthiness that would be like the best friend you could ever have in the world. And I thought if it is true, what He told me, then I can do anything I want and God will see it as OK. And, feeling the most beautiful Friend in the world, who will never leave me, then I will never do anything this Friend would ever be ashamed or embarrassed for me doing. I will do whatever I think He will like. For Him.5
We Are Precious to God
Stephanie’s NDE: It was not like I went anywhere, but more like a realm opened up right where I was... I was looking into this blue vastness when a beautiful Being appeared. He looked a little like Jesus, but at the time, it wasn’t important who he was. He was all Love, the kind of love that has everything in it (not the sappy sentimental kind). Everything in it meaning it was solid, supportive, permanent, but very much in the moment (yet no fear that it would disappear). I felt concern, care, total sensitivity from Him. He was not asserting Himself in any dominating way, yet I knew He was all there. Everything was part of or came from Him.
He was indescribably sweet, sincere, responsive to me, and there was even humor (like he was saying surprise surprise). He looked at me as if He was looking at something totally precious and dear to Him and I couldn’t take my eyes away, I never felt love like that, complete love with no demands, just a total recognition I was wonderful and He knew it all along and wanted me to know it. Slowly it faded and I was back in the room, or rather the room returned to its normal state and I felt so, so grateful I had been given this gift, this knowledge.6
Whether by Jesus Christ, by Dead Saint Experience, or mystical revelation, God is where Love is, for God is Love. After love transforms our heart, then practicing kindness is our ongoing challenge. When I look for the loving memories of my life, I try to think about times when I was purposefully loving, when I did a kind act without thinking, or when I smiled at a stranger, politely held a door open, or said a kind word. I remember when I rescued a Japanese drunk woman from the street so she wouldn’t be run over. I gave change to homeless people. I pray there are more good things I did than I can remember. I also remember all the times I didn’t help people, became angry, and missed opportunities to help others when they were in need. When I built my company, I always tried to integrate a loving, kind approach to being a CEO. I didn’t always succeed. It was difficult to always remember love and to run a business at the same time.
Love requires practice. According to Mary Jo’s encounter with God, we can learn to unconditionally love the way God loves us:
I looked up and I saw this Light; it wasn’t a normal light, it was different. It was luminescent. And it grew. I kept looking at it like, ‘What is that?’ Then it grew large and I went into it. ‘I went into this tunnel, and I came into this room that was just beautiful. God held me. He called me by name and He told me, ‘Mary Jo, you can’t stay.’ And I wanted to stay. I protested. I said, ‘I can’t stay? Why not?’ And I started talking about all the reasons; I was a good wife, I was a good mother, I did 24-hour care with cancer patients.
And He said, ‘Let me ask you one thing. Have you ever loved another the way you’ve been loved here?’
I said, ‘No, it’s impossible. I’m a human.’
Then He just held me and said, ‘You can do better.’ 7
Teri’s NDE: Even after Teri’s transformational Dead Saint experience, he found his “buttons” were still pushed because people didn’t believe him. It took him 30 years of practice to attain the unconditional love of God he found during his NDE:
What I found was no one believed my experience and that made me angry and hurt. None of that had changed. My “buttons” were still easily pushed which made me realize, just because I had understood what I needed to do, it didn’t mean I had brought back anything that was going to make it happen automatically. I felt very alone, confused yet still very driven to find a way to change.
…My experience was the catalyst that transformed me into a completely different person than what I was at the time of my NDE. It took about 30 years of trial and error and many scientific discoveries, but I have finally developed the ability to feel love for everyone, no matter what they do. That is a place of power I can now use to help others make positive changes in their lives and in the world. Instead of feeling anger over corruption and dishonesty I hear about in the news, I am able to create warm loving feelings and project that energy into the situation instead of fuming in anger. It’s not always instantly, but I can get there 100% of the time.8
Practice by Putting Smiles on Stranger’s Faces
Bobby’s NDE: There comes a time in each person’s life, when gold loses its luster and diamonds cease to sparkle; that special time, when we all start to search, and quest, and seek that hidden voice which speaks inside, yet no one hears; that special time when all the good we do means less than a simple smile put on a stranger’s face by our own unselfish acts of kindness. You can take that to the bank, because money won’t get you into Heaven.9
The sage, Lao Tzu, gives advice about practicing kindness, “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”10
Love Is the Only Thing that Matters
The Apostle Paul speaks of the supremacy of Love in I Corinthians:1-4 (ISV):
“If I speak in the languages of humans and angels but have no love, I have become a reverberating gong or a clashing cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all secrets and every form of knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains but have no love, I am nothing. Even if I give away everything I have and sacrifice myself, but have no love, I gain nothing.”
Bobbie sums up unconditional love as the greatest testimony of the Dead Saints:
The greatest emphasis of this [NDE] experience is LOVE. You are so totally engulfed with a love that does not exist in our physical world. No matter how deep a love you feel for your children, it does not compare with this love. This love is the purest, truest, deepest, totally unconditional love you could EVER imagine your heart, as a feeling that you experience. It can bring your soul to its knees, in a sense, with a quick swoosh of sensation. Now, this is not overwhelming in a bad way. It is totally overwhelming in the best way imaginable. Once you have a taste of it, you will forever be changed. It is total bliss. What you’ve always wanted, and then so much more. I was awestruck that I was so loved. I still am, and I forever will be.11
Maria asked hersel
f during her NDE what pure love is. She realized, ‘Love is Light. I wanted it to never end.’ Then it occurred to her, ‘Something so great could never end.’ 12
Love is Living Water
Many times throughout the Chronicles, love has been described as living water. Earlier in the chapter, Robyn described pouring water over her attacker to forgive him. A year ago, I dreamed of Jeremiah’s well of living water. A few months before publishing the Chronicles, I had a dream about unconditional love and living water:
Dream: A camel that walked into my home and came over to me where I was sitting and lay its head on my lap. The camel exuded SO MUCH COMPASSION—Love without condition beyond any I have ever experienced. It was almost as if the beast was God Himself. I lovingly caressed its head and noticed an open wound mid-way down its neck. I began sobbing, sobbing, sobbing overwhelmed by the Camel’s love for me, and the living water He carried in his hump. I knew the camel was Christ. Then I woke up. ~Chronicle 847.
One Dead Saint in prison experienced this same ocean of Love:
I was a withdrawing mess, suicidal, full of hate. Alone in the holding cell—or so I thought. Then it happened. In short, the cell took on a different light and color. There was a sound and intense feeling of rushing water, but it was not wet or physical, it was alive, moving and with voice, ‘living water.’ This gentle loving voice said it loved me and called me by name. By this time, I was pressed back on the bunk and could not move. Physical breathing became nil. These waters intensified, at a seemingly high vibrating rate penetrating every fiber of my being. I found myself basking in this ocean of Love, still held in total awe of what was happening to me.13
The Gospel of John describes Love as Living Water. John 7:38 says, “The one who believes in me, as the Scripture has said, will have rivers of living water flowing from his heart.” And in John 4:10, “Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who is saying to you, ‘Please give me a drink,’ you would have been the one to ask Him, and he would have given you living water.”
The Dead Saints Chronicles: A Zen Journey Through the Christian Afterlife Page 42
