by A. M. Mahler
“No way in hell am I sitting up there looking like some desperate slut. I’ll be in the art room.”
I was disappointed in her decision. I had been looking forward to seeing her up there waiting for me, but I didn’t own her. Instead I said nothing as she walked by and headed into the locker rooms.
THE BUTTERFLIES I felt in my stomach as I entered Olivia’s house could probably have lifted me off the floor. She lived in a cabin surrounded by forest. Once inside, I saw that the cabin itself was light, airy, and open with high ceilings and an open floor plan. Olivia toed off her shoes at the front door and I did the same. Jeremiah Miller entered the room and I reflexively swallowed as my palms started to sweat. It was like being hauled in front of the principal except I hadn’t done anything wrong. This man held the answers to all my questions from the last thirteen years.
Jeremiah gestured to the worn, cozy furniture in the living room without speaking. Sensing my need for comfort and courage, Olivia grabbed my hand and led me to the couch. We sat down with our hands still clasped.
I didn’t realize how old Olivia’s grandfather actually was. He was in his eighties, and it looked like the years had been hard on him. I knew he wasn’t in the best of health. She healed him, but she could not fight old age. Jeremiah looked tired. I wondered if he had been waiting for me, or for someone to come and make a commitment to Olivia, so he could let go. Although surely, he would wait until we were older, right? Until I was old enough to buy a gun and take lessons in shooting? Just who or what was her protection now?
“Welcome to our home, Jagger.” His voice was rough and raw—not exactly like a smoker’s voice, but not smooth either. His eyes bored into mine. I tried to keep my mind blank since I knew he could read me. I felt it. It wasn’t a warmth like when Olivia was inside me. This was impersonal and cold—almost clinical or sterile. He wasn’t there for entertainment but had business to attend to. I wondered if this was the sort of intrusion Olivia worried about from these mystery groups that wanted to study us.
“Partly,” Jeremiah said out loud in answer to my thought. I felt invaded. Even though I had never felt that way with Olivia, but I did then. “I’ll teach you how to block people,” he continued. “It’s easier than you might think. Now, I suspect you have some questions for me.”
Olivia squeezed my hand. “Don’t be afraid of him, Jagger. He only wants to help.”
“Why did you finally decide to let me know who Olivia was? Why now? Why not years ago?” It wasn’t my most burning question, not by far, but it was the one I was most pissed about. All this time, I could have had sweet Olivia by my side, instead I had been left floundering.
“Olivia’s fears are very real, Jagger,” he said. “She is hunted for her abilities. I know you think it’s not fair, but I couldn’t allow them to take someone else’s child if they ever got past me. You were protected, too, but they would have used you to get to Olivia. They still will. You were young, Jagger, and you had the right to a childhood. But why now? I’m old, son. It’s time for you to take up the mantle of your destiny. You were wise to train your body to be a killing machine. I’ll make you better. Olivia needs you. And I need you to be ready.”
My breathing picked up as his words sunk in. We hadn’t gotten into the details yet, but this didn’t sound like I had a future that entailed college like my parents wanted. It sounded like a life in hiding was in store for me. If it kept Olivia safe and me by her side, then I could easily adjust my life goals. I’d always known that she was my future. I had thought college was involved though. My parents were going to be very displeased—my father would definitely go into one of his infamous rages.
Keeping Olivia’s hand tight in mine, I nodded dumbly then asked my next question. “How is any of this possible?”
“The mind is a scary and fascinating place. Researchers have been studying it for centuries and have produced more questions than answers. Telepathy has been debunked by study after study, but here we are ... and some of us have more talent than others. How is it that Olivia can reach out with her mind and physically heal another being? Mind over matter, indeed. But what makes it possible? That, Jagger, is what they really want her for. If they find out about you, and I believe that someday they will, they’ll take you, as well. Despite the public denial that telepathy, mind manipulation, and other powers exist, there are very secret organizations that study all of it. If they took your sperm and her eggs, can they create a child with telepathy? Science is meddling in things that God created.”
This conversation was confusing as hell.
“OLIVIA, THIS IS amazing,” I said, walking around her garage. My parents didn’t know of my connection to Olivia. I’d never told them that I could communicate with her telepathically. They were not open-minded people. I was sure that particular confession would land my butt on a therapist’s couch or in the middle of a séance as they tried to get rid of the demon inside of me.
Olivia’s artistic talent was everywhere in here—watercolors, acrylic paintings, chalk sketches, ceramic pieces, clay, a papier-mâché butterfly, and other odds and ends all around the room. A potter’s wheel sat in one corner and an easel in another with a canvas on it and a pencil sketch. Drop cloths were on the floor, but as it was a garage, it didn’t look like either Olivia or Jeremiah got all that broken up over some spilled paint. Clearly, it was Olivia’s space. There were no tools to be seen or anything else that would belong in a normal garage. Jeremiah must have a shed for all that.
One painting caught my eye and I walked toward it. I knew what it was, but at the same time, it took a few minutes to sink in. It was the back of a football player standing in the rain. The sky was grey and the field muddy. The red and gold jersey and white pants stood out from the gray and dreary background; a helmet dangled from the player’s fingers. There was special emphasis on the eighteen on the jersey. That wasn’t just any football player. It was me.
“You painted me,” I said, not bothering to hide the awe in my voice. This might have been the most flattering thing anyone had ever done for me. “I thought you didn’t like football.”
I turned to her and she was staring shyly back at me, a pretty little blush spreading over her cheeks. “I don’t,” she shrugged. I held out my hand and she hesitated before walking over to take it. She didn’t fight me when I pulled her into my side.
“Then why did you go?” I whispered.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Tell me out loud.” Now it was me who needed to hear the words spoken instead of the other way around.
“I went because I like you,” she said, looking down at my chest. “I like being near you, and I wanted to be there for you.”
I hooked my finger under her chin and lifted her face. I saw in her eyes that she knew I was going to kiss her again. She didn’t pull away or otherwise try to stop me. I literally felt little shocks dance in my blood when our lips connected. We held there for a minute before I wrapped both my arms around her and changed the angle. I went slowly, so I wouldn’t scare or overwhelm her. She could hear more minds than I could, and she had always said that was why she didn’t date. She knew right away what the guy was after.
The only thing I wanted from her was everything. I didn’t mean sex. That was not what she was for me. Not that I didn’t want to do that with her, but I would wait. I would never push her for that ever. I wanted all of her—her sweetness, her laughter, her talent, her intelligence, her beauty. I wanted it all, and I refused to share with anyone else.
As I deepened the kiss, she clung onto my sweatshirt and leaned in closer. Slowly, her hands slid up my chest and into my hair. She scratched a bit and I thought I might go crazy. When I pulled away, I tipped my forehead against hers.
“See? Now, you’re my girlfriend.”
“Oh, Jagger,” she sighed.
I sat back on a stool and pulled her between my legs. Her hands fell to my shoulders. “Why isn’t the football player in your room?”
She shrugged, “There’s other stuff in there.”
“Can I see it?”
“Let’s not give my grandfather a stroke our first day together, okay?” She quipped. “Give him some time to get used to you.”
“So, it was him that I heard in my head?”
Hesitating first, she nodded. “He has a talent, as well. It’s different though. My parents ... they didn’t just die in an accident, Jagger, they were murdered.” As she began to shake, I pulled her closer, rubbing my hands up and down her arms. “My grandfather is the only thing that’s protecting me now. There are government agencies out there that would kill for a chance to study my mind. They’d take blood and tissue samples, try and figure out how it works, so they can replicate it or find out how strong it is. What can I heal? What can’t I? Can I heal more than one person at a time? Can I save someone near death? He’s always been able to protect me.” She dropped her gaze to stare at my chest, laying her palms flat against me.
“When I first told him that I connected with you, he was terrified you would tell someone. We were so young, and I didn’t realize what revealing myself meant. I didn’t mean to connect with you that day, I just did. But you never told anyone. Now, my grandfather knows you won’t. But he’s still scared for my safety, for our safety. There are even more possibilities with you in the game. Can I heal people through you? Jagger, I couldn’t stand it if someone used you to get to me or if you got dragged into a fight that wasn’t yours.”
“Stop, stop,” I said, pulling her close. I felt her trembling, and all I wanted to do was make it better. “If you’re in the fight, I’m in the fight. That’s non-negotiable. It’s the two of us now. It doesn’t matter what brought us together. It’s just important that something did. I’m going to protect you, too, baby. I don’t know how yet. I’m going to give that some thought, but know that I will always be between you and danger.”
“I couldn’t stand it if you got hurt,” she whispered into my neck.
“You’ll fix me if I get hurt, just like always.” I kissed her temple and wrapped my arms around her tight.
Well, damn, I can’t say I was expecting any of that.
“EVERYBODY’S LOOKING AT me,” Olivia mumbled, as she slouched down in her chair in the cafeteria.
“Nobody’s looking at you.” That was, of course, a lie. Everyone was looking at us and they weren’t even trying to hide it. I nudged at her chair and motioned for her to sit up. She looked ridiculous. I couldn’t remember ever seeing her slouch like that before. It was true that I hadn’t made a practice of studying Olivia closely until yesterday, but a slouching girl always closed in on herself would stand out. Olivia did nothing to stand out. She was just there, which is exactly what she wanted. “Sit up or I’m going to kiss you in front of the whole cafeteria.”
Olivia launched straight up in her chair. Okay. Being kissed by me shouldn’t be considered a threat. I rolled my eyes and leaned on my elbows to stay engaged in our conversation. I had not kissed her yet in front of anyone, but I was going to and soon. I was just waiting for her to feel comfortable being seen with me. Much to Olivia’s embarrassment, I met her after classes that we didn’t have together and walked her to each one. Yes, additional attention was being drawn to her. However, it was her grandfather that had made the decision to reveal her identity to me, so I had to believe he wanted me by her side. Besides, I wanted everyone to know she and I were together, and she was not be messed with.
“This is dangerous,” Olivia whispered.
“How is hanging out with me any more dangerous than sitting with your friends was?” I countered. “No one knows what we can do. It’s not like we’re just staring at each other. We’re speaking out loud. Everything looks normal. Just like you wanted it to.”
“You don’t know what could happen.” And there she was, breaking her own rule. I wasn’t stupid enough to call her out on it though.
Well, your grandfather made the decision to tell me who you were. You can come to practice this afternoon, and then I’ll drive you home. I need to talk to him more, learn from him.
“So even more people will stare at me?” Was it weird that she answered me out loud when I spoke to her in our minds? Did anyone catch that? Wasn’t that exactly what she wanted to avoid?
“I want you there for me. I knew you were at the games before, but I didn’t know it was you. I like knowing it’s you that will be there. I like knowing I can look up and see you watching me. It’s a turn on.” I leaned over and intertwined my fingers with hers. She tried to pull back, but I didn’t let her. “Stop,” I muttered as two of Olivia’s friends, Megan and Stacey, sat down at the table with lunch trays and wide eyes.
“Uh ... hi, Jagger,” Megan said. She didn’t try to hide her confusion as she looked at me with a furrowed brow. I could honestly say this was the first time I wished I could hear other people like Olivia. I was dying to know what others were thinking about us. When they sat down, Megan gave Olivia a look that could only be translated as, “You and I have to talk.”
“Hi, Megan! Hi, Stacey!” They look surprised that I knew them by name. Just because I ran with the popular crew didn’t mean I was oblivious to the names of the people I grew up with. Christ, I had known these people my entire life. I knew some of my friends looked down on people like Olivia, Megan, and Stacey. They were the more creative types in our school and my so-called friends thought they were weird. Megan was in the theater program and Stacey was an artist like Olivia. None of that made them weird, only talented. Still, they were mostly left alone, and I couldn’t say I wasn’t jealous of that from time to time. It’d be nice to show up to practice or a game, play my best, and just go home. I didn’t need all the extra attention, but apparently, it was the cost of doing business.
“What brings you to our neck of the woods,” Megan asked. Stacey’s eyes widened at her and she kicked Megan under the table.
“Rude much?” Stacey hissed. “Pay no attention to her, Jagger. We’re happy you’re here.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t happy to have him sit with us,” Megan shot back. “I’m just asking him what brings him to our table when he’s never sat with us before. Ever. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable question.”
“It’s not,” I jumped in before Megan took Stacey’s head off again. Wow, there was drama over here. “I’m just enjoying getting to know Olivia better. Do you have any idea how long I have crushed on her? She’s amazing, isn’t she?”
“Laying it on a little thick, aren’t you, Jagger?” She popped in my head but wasn’t meeting my eyes.
I speak the truth.
Megan and Stacey gaped at me. “She is,” Megan nodded. “We knew that already.”
I wanted to snap back that I had known it since we were five and it took them years to clue into how awesome she really was. Obviously, I couldn’t say that though. Megan seemed to think I had an ulterior motive with my apparent sudden interest in Olivia, like maybe I was doing it on a bet like in that movie She’s All That. Sorry, sister. I had thought Olivia was all that for years. I just didn’t know she was Olivia.
That made sense in my head.
“DeWinter, you lost?” I looked up to see Mike Higgins looking down at me. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder with Mason and Brett standing to either side of him, looking at me expectantly. It bugged me to see their expectation that I just get up and follow them. Had I noticed their condescending expressions before? Had I been that oblivious to what was going on around me with my so-called friends? I really hoped that I had never gave that look to anybody myself.
“Guys, you know Olivia, Megan, and Stacey, right?” I said, as if my sitting there wasn’t totally out of the ordinary and the girls and I were the oldest and dearest of friends. “I’m getting to know Olivia better. She’s a really interesting person. Did you know she’s a talented artist? She paints and sculpts.”
Mike looked at me like I’d hit my head, but he wandered away to our normal lunch ta
ble where all the popular girls were waiting for us. They were going to have a long wait for me.
“I’ll sit,” Brett suddenly said. Olivia looked at him in surprise. I couldn’t say I disagreed with her. That was certainly an interesting development, but then I realized Stacey was hanging on Brett’s every word. Interesting.
Olivia tried again to get her hand away from mine, but our joined hands just flailed around in the air for a bit before she gave up.
Sorry, girlfriend, not letting go. And you might want to get used to the fact that I now consider you my official girlfriend.
“Creep.”
Brett said hi to Stacey, who nearly fell off her chair. The rest of lunch passed with continued strange looks from my usual crew and awkward conversation between the table’s occupants around me. My normal table looked on with a cross between surprise, concern, and a little disgust. It was a good thing I could only hear Olivia’s thoughts. I was pretty sure the thoughts of my so-called friends would only piss me off.
When the bell rang, Brett texted Stacey his number. I would have to get more on that from him later. Was I some sort of signal that it was okay to socialize with girls outside of our group? Was I really in that much of a bubble?
“Not as firmly entrenched as some, but yes.” We gathered up our stuff to leave for our next class. Yay, Physics. After a brief struggle over Olivia’s backpack, I won and slung it over my shoulder with mine.
Wow,” I replied. “I kind of feel stupid.
“You’re not like them, Jagger. You’ve never been mean to anyone. You’re just hanging around with people that have the same extracurricular interests as you. That’s not the same with the rest of them. They’ve just been riding along on your coattails.”
Once we left the cafeteria and blended in with the crowd in the hallway, I grabbed Olivia’s hand while I led her to history class. She didn’t try to tug away again, and I took it as a minor victory. Just like all the other times, people openly gaped at us as we walked hand-in-hand. I wondered how long we’d be feeding the gossip mill and when people would be used to seeing us together.
