by Amy Lillard
Buddy was pretty sure that a person didn’t have to be careful when it was their hand. Most people weren’t walking around on their hands, but it could still be annoying.
“Hey.”
Buddy jumped, nearly knocking over his glass of milk. “Jonah,” he cried. “You scared me.”
“Sorry. Not really. Did I get you good?”
Buddy nodded. “You got me. You got me good.”
Jonah slid into the seat across the table from him and pulled Buddy’s saucer toward him. “Are you going to eat this?”
Buddy shook his head. He had wanted it when he sat down, but then something outside had snagged his attention and he had lost track of time. And his desire to have a piece of the coconut cake Jenna’s mammi had made for their Sunday dinner had fizzled away.
“This is amazing.” Jonah pointed to the cake with his fork, his mouth still full of food.
Buddy nodded. “I know.”
“Mamm didn’t make this.” It wasn’t a question. Mamm hated everything coconut so they never got to have sweets made with the tropical fruit. In fact, only Jonah, Prudy, and Buddy liked coconut, which was why there was so much of the cake still left. Enough that they were still eating it on Wednesday.
“Jenna’s grandmother made it.”
Jonah shoveled in another bite. “Are you sure you don’t want this?”
“I’m sure.”
“Are you sick?” his brother asked. Buddy was never one to turn down sweets.
“Nah.” And he wasn’t. He’d had one piece already, but he didn’t want to admit that to his brother. Not when he was enjoying the cake so much.
“Not even lovesick?” Jonah grinned.
Buddy shook his head. “Can you get sick from love?”
“It means you’re falling in love and it makes you do things like stare out the window and give your brother your tasty snack.”
“I wasn’t staring out the window,” Buddy protested. “Was I?”
“Jah.” Jonah nodded.
“How do you know if you’re in love?” Buddy asked.
Jonah choked, sputtered, coughed, and beat on his chest.
“Are you okay?” Buddy jumped to his feet and pounded his brother on the back. “Are you okay? Do you need some water?”
Jonah wiped his eyes and coughed one last time. “You want to know about love?”
Buddy sat back down and nodded. “When a person falls in love, how do they know?”
Jonah paused, as if contemplating every word. “Do you think you might be in love?”
Could he tell his brother the truth? And that’s when he knew things were changing. He could always talk to Jonah about everything. Now he was wondering if some things should be kept to himself. “I’m asking for Jonathan,” he lied. “He wants to know, but uh . . . he didn’t know who to ask. I told him to talk to you, but he still wasn’t sure.” That should cover it. He waited for Jonah to respond.
“So he asked you to ask me for him?”
“Jah. Of course. What are brothers for?”
Jonah nodded, but Buddy couldn’t tell if he believed all the stories he had just told him.
“I suppose that if you can’t stop thinking about a girl.”
“That’s part of it?” Jenna had been in his thoughts ever since he had first met her. “What else?”
“That you want to spend all your time with her.”
He wanted to spend most of his time with her, but he couldn’t say all. “Is there more?”
Jonah nodded. “There are a thousand little things that are different for each person. But if you—or Jonathan—stop thinking with your brain and use your heart—or his heart—instead, you—or he—will know without having to ask anyone. Make sense?”
“Jah, uh, sure.” But it didn’t. How did someone think with their heart? For the first time in his life, Buddy wasn’t so sure about the advice his brother had given him. He had always relied on Jonah in the past, but this was different. This was really important. “Maybe I should ask Hannah.”
“Whatever you need to do.”
“For Jonathan,” Buddy reminded him. He didn’t want to hurt his brother’s feelings.
Jonah grinned. “For Jonathan.”
They sat in silence for a moment, then Jonah leaned a little closer. “Buddy,” he started, his voice full of questions, “do you think y—I mean, Jonathan is in love?”
He shrugged, tried to play it off like it was no big deal. “Maybe.”
“Does this girl be loves—or may not love,” he corrected himself. “Does this girl love him in return?”
Buddy thought about Jenna, about her so-blue eyes. But they weren’t just blue. To say that was to make little of their beauty. But to say more was too much. As simple as it was, they were the most beautiful blue that he had ever seen. And then he remembered how they sparkled when she had held his hand. “Maybe.”
“Maybe you should ask this girl out on a date. Or take her home from a singing.”
“Jah.” Buddy nodded, then sat back in his seat. “You mean, Jonathan.”
“Right. Jonathan. That’s what he should do. But only if he’s serious about her.”
Buddy thought about it a moment. “How serious?”
“Marriage serious.”
Buddy’s eyes widened. “Marriage?”
“Jah. We’re Amish. We don’t date willy-nilly like the Englisch. I mean some people date a little, but once you start dating, it means that you are ready to settle down. Find someone to care about for the rest of your life. Or Jonathan.”
Buddy nodded. “Jonathan. Jah.”
“If a man asks a young woman if he can take her home from a singing, the woman is going to expect for him to be serious about her.”
“Serious enough to marry her.”
Jonah nodded. “You—a guy—has to be careful. It’s messing with someone’s heart.”
“Jah,” Buddy said. “Take a girl home from a singing. Then what?”
“Ask her out,” Jonah said. “Talk to her parents and take her on a date somewhere.”
“Her parents?” Buddy asked. Jenna only had a mamm and a grandmother. He supposed he could ask them. “But what if she doesn’t want to go on a date with me—uh, him?”
“If she lets a guy take her home from a singing, then she’ll go out on a date.”
A date. A date with Jenna. The thought was so incredible he could hardly contain his smile. Taking her home from a singing was exciting enough. But a date . . .
That’s what he would do. He would take her home from the singing next Sunday night. Then he would ask her mamm if they could go on a date. She would say yes and then . . . he wasn’t sure what happened then, but he could work on that a little closer to time. He had enough in his head right now as it was.
So much so that he hopped to his feet. He needed to run or jump or something. He felt like he had ants in his pants. Another saying that didn’t really mean what it sounded like. But he was going to go outside, get his puppy, and run all over to rid himself of all this energy that suddenly filled him.
“Are you going to tell Jonathan?”
He stopped. “It’s not really for Jonathan,” Buddy admitted, unable to keep up the lie any longer.
“Really?” Jonah’s brows rose in surprise. “Not Jonathan?”
He shook his head and leaned closer to his brother. “It’s for me.”
“Really?” Jonah’s eyes were happy, but not teasing.
“You knew the whole time, didn’t you?” Buddy asked.
Jonah held up his hands and smiled. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
He had known it was for Buddy, and he had still given him solid advice.
It just showed that he thought Buddy was ready for this step. Home from a singing, a date. And then the next step. Maybe even to boyfriend and girlfriend. The thought was thrilling. He had never had a girlfriend before. It was long past time for Buddy Miller to move on to the next phase of his life.
Well, almost
.
He turned back to his brother. “Do me a favor?”
Jonah nodded. “Of course.”
“Don’t tell Mamm.”
* * *
Jenna let out a great sigh of relief when Buddy walked into the barn on Sunday evening. She had seen him at church, but she hadn’t gotten to talk to him. Of course there was no way to talk to him during the service and afterwards, she just kept missing him. It seemed as if the entire congregation was against her. She would start toward him, then someone would stop her, ask her about one thing or another. Was she going to the quilting circle on Tuesday? Had she tried Cora Ann Kauffman’s recipe for bison yummasetti? Did she know that the bison came from Ezra Hein’s farm? Had she been there? Had she been out to Titus Lambert’s camel farm where he milked the camels? She didn’t even know a person could milk camels, but that wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. She wanted to see Buddy, ask if he was planning on going to the singing, see how his week had been, what had he been doing. She simply wanted to talk to him. But it seemed it wasn’t destined to happen. By the time she got free of all the well-wishers who wanted her and her family to feel at home in a new place, he and his family were already gone.
It had been hard to hide her disappointment as they had driven home in the buggy. Just as she had trouble now hiding her excitement over seeing him again.
Susannah Ebersol nudged her elbow into Jenna’s ribs. “There he is.”
“Who?” Jenna asked, trying to act as if she didn’t know what Susannah was talking about.
“Buddy Miller. You know.”
“Who?” Jenna wrinkled her forehead to feign her confusion. “Oh, jah. I remember.”
Susannah nudged her again. “You think you’re clever, but everyone knows that the two of you spent all last Sunday together.”
Her words made a funny feeling in Jenna’s belly. She wasn’t sure what it meant, but it was there, like butterflies beating away. “That’s not exactly true. My family spent all of last Sunday with his family.”
From across the barn, he turned her way and their gazes met. He smiled and there went those butterflies again. She gave him a hesitant smile in return. She liked him. She thought he liked her too. But how could a girl be sure?
Someone next to him, his brother Jonathan, said something to him and Buddy turned away.
Jenna dropped her attention to the front of her apron. Not that her lap was all that interesting, but she was hoping to find something there to give her a bit of bravery to ask the question she so needed the answer to.
“Susannah,” she started. She twisted her hands in her lap. “How does a person . . . a girl know when a boy . . . likes her? Likes her likes her, I mean.”
Rose Ebersol picked that time to sit down next to them. “You shouldn’t be asking her.”
Susannah waved away her sister’s protests. “I am more than qualified to answer this.”
“Hardly.” Rose sniffed. “You like Jonathan Miller, but you don’t know if he likes you in return.”
Susannah turned her chin up, and nose in the air, she sent her sister a disdainful look. “He likes me.” Then she dropped her prideful stance. “I think so anyway.”
Jenna covered Susannah’s hand with her own. “I think he likes you.”
“But you want to know if a boy likes you . . . he’ll show you in his own way,” Rose said wisely.
“Don’t listen to her, Jenna. She’s only repeating what Emily told us.”
“It’s true,” Rose countered.
“Like how?” Jenna asked.
“Like asking to take you home from a singing.” Rose nodded at her own words.
Jenna turned to Susannah. “Has Jonathan ever taken you home from a singing?”
“Well, uh no,” she sputtered. “But he will. One day. I know it.” She sat up a little straighter in her seat. “He will.”
Jenna leaned back a little, tried to relax. “If Buddy likes me then he’ll ask to take me home from a singing?”
“Yes,” Rose said emphatically. “Not that it’s the only way.” She glanced around at all the teenagers gathering together, coupling off before finding a seat. “But it’s perhaps the most obvious way.”
Would Buddy ask her home from a singing? It was the greatest thrill she could imagine. And yet . . .
“Don’t Jonathan and Buddy come together?” she asked.
“Jonathan used to come by himself, then Buddy started coming with him.”
“Will Jonathan take you home if he has Buddy with him?”
Susannah shifted in her seat and smoothed her apron. “No. And that is exactly why we have to get Buddy to ask to take you home. And the sooner the better.”
* * *
“Are you nervous?” Jonathan asked. He had leaned in close to Buddy so only he could hear.
“No. Yes. Maybe a little.” Buddy exhaled and tried to slow his heart. His dat had taught him that. Taking deep breaths after he ran would slow his heart and allow him to catch his breath, but so would doing the same because he was overexcited and a little too hot. Were the barns always this hot? He had nothing to go on. This was only his second singing in a long while. And he didn’t remember from before.
His second singing, and with any luck he would be taking the prettiest girl there home. He had a plan.
But he had never dreamed it would be this warm.
He ran a finger around the inside of his collar. Maybe it was a mistake to wear this shirt. It felt tight, like it was wrapping around him, hugging him and making him sweat.
“You okay?” Jonathan whispered.
“Jah.” He took another deep breath.
Jonathan spun Buddy to face him and started messing with his shirt. Then he clasped Buddy on the shoulders. “You got this. She’s been looking over at you all night. I’ve got a ride home, so you don’t have to worry about that. You can drive the buggy as well as anyone here. You know the way. Now go ask your girl if you can take her home.”
Buddy smiled at his brother’s words. “Jah. Okay.”
His heart pounded in his ears as he wound his way through the crowd of teens. He wanted to get to her as quickly as possible, yet he wanted to slow down so he would have more time to get himself together.
What if Jonathan was wrong and she hadn’t been looking at him? What if she didn’t want him to ask her to take her home? What if she didn’t like him at all?
He stumbled as those last words stabbed through his brain. What if she didn’t like him? He would embarrass himself in front of Susannah and Rose Ebersol. Maybe even more people if they were standing close enough to hear.
Or she could tell him yes. She could smile that way he loved, and she would be tickled that he wanted to take her home. And hopefully she would understand that it really meant more than a ride home. She would understand that he wanted to take her out again and again. Get to know her and maybe . . .
He was getting ahead of himself. He hadn’t even asked her yet.
And with that thought still echoing, he stopped directly in front of her. He could reach out and touch one of her kapp strings. He was that close to her. He wouldn’t though. Even though he wanted to. He wanted to wind his finger in the little ribbon and then unwind it and see if it kept any of the curl. He was close enough he could see the lighter parts of her eyes. The dark rim and the starburst inside that seemed to hold every shade of blue there was.
“Jenna,” he started. Then he shook his head. He sounded dumb. Not confident. Not at all like Jonah. He might have lost his first girlfriend and had a couple of rough times with his wife, Sarah, but he was still the smartest man Buddy knew. Second smartest counting Dat. But Buddy had never gotten advice about girls from his dat. His father didn’t believe Buddy would ever move away from the farm. He believed Buddy would live out his days with Jonathan and whoever his brother decided to marry. Buddy would be a live-in uncle for their kids and he would never get married. His dat never said as much, but he never once opposed his mother when she worried about such th
ings at night.
“Hi,” he said, hoping to just start over.
“Hi.” The smile on her lips was small and wavered a bit, but it stayed around.
Susannah poked her in the ribs and gave her a nudge. Buddy wasn’t sure what that was all about, but he couldn’t worry about that now. He had a task to complete.
“I was wondering . . . I mean . . . I, uh . . . can I take you home tonight? I have the buggy and I know the way.” He felt like he was making a mess of this, but she was still smiling. Rose and Susannah were giggling behind their hands.
“You want to take me home?” she asked. “What about Jonathan?”
“He doesn’t want to. Just me.”
A confused look planted itself across her pretty face. “How will he get home?”
Oh. “He’s riding with one of his friends.” Buddy made a waving gesture in the general direction of where Jonathan stood talking to his friends. They weren’t talking as much as they were watching Buddy.
Susannah craned her head around to find him in the crowd, but Buddy couldn’t pay much attention to her. He only had eyes for Jenna.
“Jah,” she finally said.
His heart skipped a beat. At least it felt like it. “Jah?”
She smiled and nodded. “Jah.”
* * *
The wind felt cool on her face as they drove home. It was May and mostly summer, but there were still a few cooler nights peppered in to make the weather more interesting before it got down to the business of being a blistering hot summer. Jenna liked traveling by buggy on Sundays; it was a welcome change. But it was even more special sitting next to Buddy as he directed the horse down the road. She liked the fact that it took a little longer to get anywhere by horse and carriage and that meant that much more time with Buddy.
