Everyone has noticed that Alex was being unusually quiet and although I’ve noticed Rachel joining in on the festivities, it was clear her mind was on her cousin. I really feel for them and wish I knew of a way to help them.
However, Charlotte is another matter altogether, as I watch her sit alone on the porch swing. Her sadness is evident and I slip out of the house to talk to her.
She lifts her face before she quickly turns away when she sees me, but not fast enough for me to miss her tears.
Without asking, I join her on the swing and let the silence surround us while I wait for her to talk to me. I don’t want to intrude on her, I just couldn’t let her be alone.
“I’m happy for you and my brother,” she says. Inhaling, she adds, “I wish my own life was more straightforward.”
“What can I do to help you?”
“There’s nothing anyone can do.” She shrugs. “I asked Sirena if she knew when his wedding is. It’s in January.”
“So you have time to go and talk to him.”
She rests her elbows on her thighs and drops her face into her hands before eventually turning to face me. “I don’t want to be the cause of upset for him and the woman he’s marrying.”
“Charlotte,” I crouch in front of her, “what if he’s only going through with the wedding because it’s already set? What if he doesn’t feel for her what he should? What if he’s missing you?” I grab her hands. “You have to go and talk to him. He might not say want you want him to, but at least you’ll know.” I squeeze her hands. “I’m here for you if you need me. Anytime, Charlotte. So is Michael.”
Standing, I move away to look at the view of the mountains in the distance and feel Charlotte come to join me.
“I have some work commitments I’m not willing to pass over to the others, but I will go once those are completed, which should be in a month or so.” She exhales. “Why doesn’t this decision make me feel any better?”
I wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Because your life is still up in the air, and it will be until you’ve spoken to Tanner.” I smile. “But you’ve made the decision to go, and we’re going to make sure you do.” I grin. “Even if I have to take you there myself, you’ll be going.”
She chuckles, which I’m happy to hear. “Does my brother know you’re this bossy?”
“Not yet.”
We laugh when a male groan reaches our ears.
Turning, we find Michael lounging against the side of the house. “How long have you been there?”
He smirks, moving closer. “Long enough to discover that my fiancée is bossy.”
Beaming a smile at him, I slide easily into his arms when he reaches us. He kisses my forehead and holds his sister’s gaze. “If you need us, no matter what time of day or night, you call.”
Charlotte smiles and after hugging us both, disappears inside the house.
“Will she be okay?” Michael asks me, watching the door she’s just stepped through.
I sigh. “I think so.”
He curls his arm around my waist and keeps me anchored against him. “I’m glad our relationship was a lot easier than Charlotte’s. I don’t think I’d have survived being separated from you for a moment.”
“I’m where I want to be Michael.”
“Hope you don’t mind a short engagement,” he whispers.
I lift my face to his, and smiling, reply, “The sooner the better.”
THE END
59
Prologue
Charlotte
Even though I’m trying to act oblivious, I’m well aware that Tanner Jackson’s deep brown eyes are following me as I move around the garden. I’m aware because my body hums—my skin feels tight, my breasts heavy, and there’s a gentle throb between my legs.
We only met a few hours ago, just before my sister, Sirena, said ‘I do’ to her new husband, Garrett. It’s my sister who I should be thinking about and seeing to, but all my thoughts are on the delicious man whom Garrett had introduced me to.
Tanner is taller than I am, with broad shoulders and a trim waist. My hands itch to rub his close-cropped, dark brown hair or slide over his light beard, which gives him a sexy look. His thighs in slacks make my fingers twitch to touch and stroke.
The heat coming off of him toward me is scorching, and I can’t stop imagining what it would feel like to be tangled between the sheets with this sexy man.
He actually has no right to be looking at me the way he is because he’s engaged. His fiancée, back home, is expecting her man to stay true to her. Tanner isn’t though. His eyes track me again as I leave the main table and head toward the large garage. I need five minutes alone...away from the gaze that is branding me. That’s all. Nothing more. If I don’t get this break, I’m afraid I’m going to self-combust.
Slipping through the door into the dark space, I wrap my arms around my stomach while trying to catch my breath now that I can breathe. It shouldn’t be so difficult but Tanner has me on edge and jittery. I’m sure my siblings and cousins noticed. I’m aware my mother did. She doesn’t miss anything to do with her family.
My hands tremble as I concentrate on inhaling and slowly exhaling, but that feeling of arousal, of need, won’t leave me alone.
“Charlotte,” my name is whispered through the crack in the door, and I know whose voice it belongs to.
My heart beats erratically in my chest as I watch him slip inside the garage. There’s no escape with him filling the doorway, even though I’m not sure that’s what I truly want.
Tanner captures my gaze and I feel his longing, which should be ridiculous considering we don’t know each other. But this feels so right.
“We shouldn’t be in here together,” I mumble. “People will talk.” I try to brush past him—afraid of what will happen if I stay here.
The minute he sees me move for the door, he steps in front of me, resting his hands on my bare shoulders. A ripple of pleasure hits me and I close my eyes, inhaling his scent. His hands tremble as his fingers spread and he rubs circles against my skin with his thumbs.
“You feel this too?” he asks, surprise in his voice. “I didn’t want to feel this. I never asked for this. But I can’t stop.” He dips his head and nuzzles into my neck as one of his arms curls around my waist. “Tell me to stop, Charlotte…make me back away from you…I will if you want me to…”
I feel his words more than I hear him as his breath caresses along my skin. I close my eyes, fighting every sensation, but my body has taken control and is overruling my brain on what I should do. I should run past him and never be near him again. Even as I’m giving those commands to my body, my fingers slide into his hair.
Tanner shudders under my touch and slowly moves his mouth along my collarbone, his tongue dipping between my breasts.
My body is alive for the first time in forever, and his touch alone, has my breasts swollen in arousal with the beads of my nipples throbbing for his touch. Between my legs, my panties are soaked with my need for this beautiful man. I shouldn’t even be looking at him, but I don’t have it in me to care right now. Not when I’m feeling things that I’ve never felt before.
“What are we doing, Tanner? You’re engaged.” I question him...question myself.
“What we crave more than our next breath.”
I totally agree.
“Tanner…”
He groans and his lips brush against mine as he begs, “Say my name again.” His eyes blaze into mine, and I know I’ll spend the rest of my life being haunted by the memory of him and the heat for me that’s currently alive on his face. Only me.
I whisper, “Tanner,” seconds before his mouth claims my lips, his arms crushing me against him.
Whatever calm I had is shattered with the hunger of his kisses as his tongue plunges into my mouth, sending shivers of desire racing through me.
My hands cling to him while I try to get closer still, feeling his arousal against my belly when I do.
His tongue contin
ues to explore the recess of my mouth while I give myself freely to the passion of his drugging kisses.
I feel his hand gently outline the circle of my breast through my silk dress. When his thumb scrapes over the swollen bud of my nipple, I loudly moan, throwing my head back.
He moves his large hand from my breast to the slit in the side of my dress, and grabbing my thigh, he brings it up to his hip, allowing his arousal to settle against my panties. His other hand holds me tightly against him while his hips rock.
His lips latch onto my neck and quickly move toward my sensitive breasts. His teeth nibble on a hard bud through the thin fabric and that’s all it takes.
Groaning, I shudder against him, feeling heat rush into my cheeks at how easily he brought me to climax. The blush soon disappears when I glance down and see just how hard and swollen his penis is. It’s arousing seeing him fully clothed like this while he throbs against my panties.
“That must hurt,” I mumble, unable to catch my breath.
His eyes close while he breathes deeply through his nose, and then he tenderly brushes a kiss across my forehead. “It aches to be inside of you. I ache for you,” he confesses, letting my leg drop to the floor as he steps slightly away to straighten my dress.
Unhappiness clouds his face before it’s gone, his voice firm as he says, “I can only offer you one night, Charlotte.” He covers my mouth with a quick kiss. “I wish I could offer you everything, but I can’t.”
I bury my face into his neck and breathe a kiss there. “I’ve never had a one night stand before, and I wish that wasn’t going to happen now…except I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.” I hesitate before I admit, “That scares me because I’ve never felt this way before.” I hold his gaze and see the relief crossing his features, following closely with sorrow.
He brushes a gentle kiss across my forehead—our fate is sealed.
60
Tanner
8 months later
Knocking back a desperately needed longneck with my best friend Bo feels damn good. It has been a month of hell out at the ranch and I’m enjoying a break at the bar. The whole town is ready for one of the largest snowfalls to be seen this year, but I’m sure as hell not looking forward to it.
Emma, my fiancée, has hinted more than once that she’d be happy to keep me company at the ranch but I told her no. For one, once the storm hits, the ranch is going to get cut off from the main highway. For two, the last thing I need is having her underfoot.
Sighing heavily into my beer while I peel the label off the bottle, I ignore the looks Bo keeps passing in my direction.
He knows there’s something wrong with me, and he also knows the only thing making me continue with my upcoming wedding is duty. Everyone has expected it for years, and it’s what I thought I wanted as well. Maybe I had at one point but not anymore.
And it’s been a long engagement—four years—and I’d been surprised that Emma hasn’t pushed for a wedding date before she did. It was agreed in passing, not really discussed. I just wish I’d stopped to think about where I was going and what I wanted out of the life I’ve been given. It certainly wouldn’t have been to marry the girl I’ve been with since I was a fifteen-year-old boy full of hormones.
Emma was...comfortable...and I just went along with whatever she wanted to do. It was easier. Twelve months ago, she’d decided to get all sweaty with a trucker who got stranded in town during a snowstorm. I’d used it as an excuse to walk away—breaking off the engagement. Except, before we could make any kind of announcement, she’d bulldozed her way back into my life. Out of duty, I’d stayed with her. My heart had been left in Lexington though, and that hurt more than I thought possible.
I never expected a trip to Lexington for my godfather’s wedding to knock me on my ass. But that’s what happened the moment I laid eyes on the bride’s beautiful sister. I couldn’t help myself and had given into all my needs. I did something terribly wrong but inevitable when I spent the night with her. She’d been the second woman I’d ever slept with, but the first woman I’d made love to.
No matter how hard I’ve tried to forget Charlotte McKenzie, she’s been in my mind every day. She’s the last thing in my conscience as I close my eyes at night, and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.
I miss her morning text messages, which had started when I’d been in Lexington and had ended during the summer. I have only myself to blame for that because I’d stopped replying for my own health. But it kills me not knowing how she’s doing or what she’s up to.
“Don’t you think it’s about time you told me what happened in Lexington?” Bo says, glancing at me before he goes back to his beer. “You’ve looked like the back end of one of your cattle since you’ve been back.”
Raising a brow, I stare at Bo, and then spend a few minutes thinking as I watch the bartender freshening drinks and filling orders to be delivered by the wait staff.
“It’s true,” Bo mumbles. “You’d think you were about to be hanged, not getting married. I was happy leading up to my wedding.”
A chuckle bursts from between my lips. “You spent the month before your wedding drunk,” I remind him.
“Exactly! I was happy.”
Shaking my head, I thump him on the shoulder. “You can say what you want, but you can’t live without your wife.”
He grins. “I love her with everything in me, and have no shame admitting that… Do you love Emma?”
I blink at his question and turn my gaze back to my beer and shredded label on the bar. “I’m in love,” I say, being evasive as I silently add, “with Charlotte.”
“Not with Emma though,” he mumbles and I look at him out of the corner of my eye. I can’t read the expression on his face but I know he’s concerned. “I think when we were at school you confused hormones with love, which we all do. Now though, we’ve grown up, and even before she fucked someone else, I don’t think your heart belonged to Emma...and not for a long time.”
Staring hard at Bo, I’m wondering what happened to get him talking. We usually just sit here drinking beer silently—watching the game playing on the television or playing a game of pool if we were up to it. “I can read your mind, you know?” He grins and laughs. “Okay! I admit Joanne put the seed of doubt in my head. She said something that made sense about you coming back from Lexington a different man. She even went as far as to suggest you met someone out there…”
“None of that matters, Bo. I’m getting married in less than a month’s time.” I drain the beer and shake my head to refuse another from the bartender when Bo nods for one. “I’m driving back tonight.”
Occasionally, I’ll crash in Bo’s spare room, but tonight, I want to be in my own bed. I’m just not in the mood to stay anywhere but home. “If you’re getting married,” Bo continues, refusing to budge off the subject, “why do you never spend time with your fiancée? People are noticing, and a lot of them are wondering whether or not it’s true about that trucker she fucked.”
Cursing, I whip my head around to face him. “Leave it,” I snarl. “I promised to marry her and that’s what’s going to happen.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He grins ignoring the scowl on my face.
“I was okay until you sat next to me,” I grouch.
He roars with laughter before becoming serious again, saying, “The last I’m going to say on the subject for tonight is don’t marry her because you feel like you have to keep a promise…marry her because you can’t live without her.” He waits for me to acknowledge his words and then a slow smile spreads across his face. “I’m a good friend, huh?”
“Debatable,” I mumble and sigh when my eyes focus on Emma walking through the bar as though she owns the place.
“That says it all my friend,” Bo comments before he moves toward the back of the bar—away from Emma.
“I thought I’d find you here as you’re not answering your phone,” Emma complains as she takes Bo’s seat. “I want to
come and stay at the ranch with you until this snowstorm passes.”
I give her the side eyes. “We’ve talked about this, and decided it was a bad idea.”
She scowls. “You decided it was a bad idea. I didn’t really get a say in anything.”
Looking at her now, I know that I fell into lust with her in high school. Maybe it had been love...that young, schoolboy love that was fleeting, but it’s gone now. Bo is right—I have outgrown her. I did a long time ago. I think we’ve both clung to the past rather than move forward because it was easier to do just that. I also think there is something else going on with her and that’s why she keeps pushing this wedding.
She’s still as pretty as she’d been in high school with her snow-white skin and blonde hair. Her waist is trim with legs that do justice to a pair of fitted jeans, but I’m not in love with her.
But a woman is out there who I do love. Charlotte is nothing like Emma, and I fell hard for her the minute our eyes connected. I was rude and abrupt when Garrett had introduced us, but that didn’t last. She snagged my heart that night we shared, and I’ve lived on those moments for months.
I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone as much as I do her, until after I let her go. She’s probably with someone else by now thinking I no longer think about her.
“You’ve been doing that for months,” Emma hisses. “I ask you a question and you get lost inside your own head. It’s rude and annoying.”
My fingers flex as I rub my hands along my denim-clad thighs...anything to prevent myself from blurting out the truth to her…the truth that I don’t love her; I love someone else. Instead of saying those words, and hurting her, I reply, “You’re not coming back to the ranch. It would make things awkward.”
She looks sad for a moment and then it’s gone as she straightens her spine. “We have things about the wedding to discuss,” she smiles, “I could use that as an excuse with my father.” She jumps off the bar stool before she wraps her arms around my neck and plants a kiss to my lips.
McKenzie Cousins Box Set One: Books One, Two, Three Page 31
