“Although I’d rather it hadn’t landed you in the hospital, I’m happy you’re here.”
“Really?” I ask wanting to believe him and even after his actions spoke that truth, I find it hard to believe. “You stopped messaging me.”
He leans forward and rests his elbows on his thighs while he holds my gaze. “I have commitments here, and talking to you on a daily basis was killing me when I never thought I’d see you again. It hurt like hell stopping, and then when you stopped, it felt like my heart had been ripped out.”
“It was your choice,” I whisper, dropping my gaze. “If you feel the way that I do, then why are you still getting married?” I lift my gaze to his, needing to see his face when he replies.
He stares at the floor, silently, and I don’t think he’s going to answer. When he lifts his head, I see his eyes are rimmed red, showing me how much he’s affected by me. By us.
“You know about Emma, what I kept to myself was that just before I left for your sister’s wedding, I discovered Emma had been fucking a trucker who’d spent a week in town.” He sighs. “You might as well know it all…I left for Lexington wanting to get back at her, except the minute my eyes connected with yours, I knew that you were a hell of a lot more than punishment.” His eyes become intense as he says, “You are everything, Charlotte McKenzie,” in a gravely voice
My eyes fill with tears as I turn my face into the pillow and sob. He’s saying the words I’ve wanted to hear for so long, which set my sobs free, but it’s what he isn’t saying that I heard as well. He’s still getting married.
Tanner moves quickly and sliding his arms beneath me, lifts me against his chest, the sheet coming with us. He sits down on the chair and cradles me close.
“Please don’t cry,” he whispers against my ear, holding me tightly.
I free my arms from the sheet and wrap them around his neck, holding on just as tightly as he’s holding me. “I never thought I’d have your arms around me again.”
“I’ve missed you so damn much. You’re in my head all the time. The feel of your skin against mine. The feel of your lips. The way you feel when I make love to you. The sound of your voice. The way you listened to me. The way you trusted me.” He lets out a shaky breath. “You’ve belonged to me from the minute I walked into Garrett’s house.”
I cup his face in my hands and search his gaze, sighing when he drops his forehead to mine. “This time we’re going to do it right. I need to talk to her because I know with every breath in my body that I can’t marry her when the woman I love is in my arms.”
My heart believes him but I don’t miss the slight wince he tried to cover up. This tells me that it isn’t going to be as easy as we’d like it to be. “I didn’t come here to screw up your life, I just had to know if I imagined everything with you.”
“And did you?”
I shake my head. “It’s still there.”
He smiles and places me back on the bed. “Let’s get you out of here and back to the ranch before the snow hits.”
“Snow? There’s already a ton.” I frown.
“There’s a storm heading this way. It’s expected to hit this evening.”
I toss the sheets off and wince as I get to my feet. “I’ll take some pain meds and I’ll be fine,” I reassure when I notice him watching me with concern.
We turn to the door when it creaks as someone in uniform strides in. The state trooper grins while looking at Tanner. He clears his throat and holds his hand out toward me. “Bo Jenkins, ma’am. The best friend.”
Tanner nudges him when he keeps my hand in his. Bo squeezes it before he drops my hand in a leisurely pace. “He never mentioned you until earlier today.” Bo raises a brow at Tanner. “Bit of a coincidence, huh?”
Growling, Tanner says, “Don’t you have people to arrest or something?”
Bo grins. “No. I’m off shift until tomorrow. I’m going to go home to my gorgeous wife when I’ve finished annoying you.”
I can’t help myself and laugh. It feels good and I realize that it’s been a while since I really laughed with pure happiness.
Tanner grins and wrapping an arm around my waist, steps into my side. His lips brush against the top of my head.
“Um,” Bo clears his throat, “when I arrived there was, um, someone listening at the door.” He holds Tanner’s gaze.
“You know who it was?” I place my hand on his chest and meet his troubled gaze.
“Yeah, I think so.” He rubs a hand over his head. “Emma…the woman I’m engaged to is a nurse here.”
“Figured you should know,” Bo says. “Anyway, I’ve met the woman who has my friend screwed up, so I’m going to go home and screw…” he blushes, “See my wife.”
I chuckle even though I feel a sense of dread.
Bo disappears as I turn fully into Tanner. “Do you need to go and find her so you can talk to her?”
“I should but, right now, I want to get you back to the ranch.”
“Are you avoiding the conversation with her?”
He winces. “Partly, but I also don’t want to tell her what I have to tell her while she’s at work. That wouldn’t be fair.” He brushes the hair away from my face with his tender fingers.
“I know. I just wish you were mine,” I admit, and slip my arms into my jacket.
“Charlotte, I am yours. Just like you’re mine.”
I smile sadly. “Not yet.”
64
Tanner
By the time I get Charlotte into my truck, there are thick flakes slowly falling. The weather bothers me because it can be like this one minute and the next you can’t see a foot in front of you. I also need a clear mind to drive us back and all I hear in my head is Charlotte’s, ‘Not yet’.
I could have had it all over and finished with Emma if I hadn’t wanted to do the right thing by the woman I’ve known since school. Charlotte’s hand on my face, makes me realize that I need to be free to be with her.
Quickly glancing at the sky, I kiss Charlotte on the cheek. “I’m going to find Emma.”
Charlotte looks concerned but nods. “Are you sure?”
“I never intended staying engaged to her, but she begged me to help her save face. So I did. I’m too damn nice sometimes. If you hadn’t shown up, I’d have come looking for you. That was the conclusion I was slowly getting to.” I briefly kiss her waiting lips and pass her the keys. “Slide over and turn the truck on otherwise you’ll be cold.”
She smiles and does as I suggest.
Not looking forward to this, I sigh and head back inside. I have no clue as to where I’ll find Emma so I head for the information desk. At least it will be quicker than searching the place.
“Hi, Tanner,” Colleen greets me, her smile cheerful.
I smile. “Hi Colleen, do you know where I can find Emma?”
“Sorry, you’ve missed her. She clocked out about thirty minutes ago.” She shakes her head. “I saw her leaving, maybe you can find her at home.”
I glance outside and decide that’s not an option. “I think I better head home before I’m stuck in town,” I mumble absentmindedly. “It’s going to be a big one, you take care Colleen.” Cursing under my breath, I run back to my truck and climb into the warm cab.
Charlotte takes my hands and rubs them between hers. “She wasn’t there?”
“No.” I kiss her cheek. “We need to leave before we can’t.” I reach over and strap Charlotte in beside me before doing my own seatbelt. “You’re about to be stuck on a ranch with me, I hope you don’t mind that?”
She chuckles. “Are you kidding me? I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be stuck with more.”
I quickly squeeze her hand before pulling out of town.
“This weather is really bad, huh?” she says quietly five minutes later.
I glance back at her and see the worry across her face. Clearly she was thinking back to her accident earlier. I turn my attention back to the road, the snow is falling in huge flakes
but the visibility is fairly good so we’re lucky. The weather won’t hold for much longer though. “It’s winter in Montana. This is nothing compared to how it’s going to get very soon.” I lean forward and look up at the sky, my foot pressing down on the gas. “We need to get back before this hits, otherwise, we won’t be able to see the road.”
“My cousins live in Great Falls, and they’ve talked about winters like this, but this is the first time I’ve ever experienced it.” Charlotte burrows into her jacket. “How close are we to your place?”
I make a right turn. “We’re on the road now. Not far. Five minutes.” What I really want to do is rest my hand on her thigh, but, with this weather, I keep both hands on the steering wheeling, until I reverse the truck into the barn.
“How the heck did you do that? I’m struggling to see anything.”
“Practice.” I tug her jacket around her and fasten up the zipper right to above her neck. “Do you have a hat and gloves?”
She nods and grabs them from her purse. “My overnight bag is still in the rental.” She shoves the hat on her head before slipping on the gloves.
“I’ll make sure you get it back.” I squeeze her hand. “Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
On her go ahead, I run around and open her door, tugging her out and into my arms. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Stop worrying, I’m fine. Nothing a hot bath won’t cure.”
I groan, really not wanting the images of her naked and in a bath in my head, but, of course, that’s where I go. I remember her delicious curves under my hands, and I remember the sight of her in the shower, wet and covered with soapsuds. My body heats at the memory, and when I meet her gaze, I realize she’s remembering too.
Her cheeks flush but her eyes don’t leave my face while mine are doing some wandering of their own. She is so beautiful my heart aches as I drop my forehead to hers. “Make no mistake, Charlotte…as soon as everything between Emma and I is finished, you are going to be mine in every sense of the word.” I cup the back of her head and hold her against my lips as I place a kiss against her forehead, lingering for longer than I should.
Charlotte steps closer and wraps her arms around my waist, pressing her face into my chest. I hold her in place and feel her shuddering against me. We stand like this until the cold starts to seep through my jacket and I feel her shiver. “Let’s get inside and warm up.”
Keeping my arm around her, I guide her through the deepening snow into my home while my brain is scrambling to remember whether or not the place is tidy. To my relief, it is.
I turn her in my arms and unfasten her jacket, her eyes never leaving my face. Just having her standing in front of me spreads heat throughout my body. Her slim figure comes into view and it’s only the wince she tries to hide that reins me in.
“Let me show you to the guest room and then I’ll run you a hot bath,” I suggest, not missing the disappointment on her face.
She turns away. “Okay.”
“It isn’t okay.”
She turns her gaze back to me.
“I don’t want you in the guest room, Charlotte. I want you with me...not just in this house but in my room—in my bed.” I sigh heavily.
She swallows and nods, giving me a wry smile. “It’s okay. At least we’re going to get snowed in together.”
I groan. “That isn’t helping.” Curling an arm around her waist, I lead her upstairs. “This is the only guest room we have so I hope you’ll be okay in here.” The room isn’t perfect but it’s comfortable. “The bed has fresh linen.” I chuckle. “Mary, a woman from town, comes in a couple of days a week to clean. She always puts clean linen on this bed as well as mine.”
Charlotte chuckles. “She’s looking after you.”
“She always says that one never knows when an unexpected guest will arrive.” I roll my eyes. “She’s done it for years. No breaking the habit now.”
“You’re making me nervous,” Charlotte admits, biting her bottom lip. It’s been a long time since they were alone together in a bedroom.
Heat floods my cock as I reach forward and tug her bottom lip free. Her eyes flare with heat and I come close to embarrassing myself when she wraps her tongue around the tip of my finger, pulling it inside her wet mouth.
“You have me so close to pushing you down on the bed behind you…and you wouldn’t be able to walk afterwards. Neither would I,” I growl.
Challenge flares in her eyes as she rests her hands on my chest. Slowly caressing down my stomach, she dips lower, I can’t bring myself to stop her. I need to feel her hands on me. I’ve missed this woman more than my last breath. Having her here, in front of me, unleashes the fire in my stomach, and the desire in my balls that I’ve felt with her.
Her hand brushing over my erection causes a hiss to burst from between my teeth. She does it again and my treacherous flesh twitches and jerks against her palm. I quickly catch her wrist before she touches me again. I strain against my zipper imagining her mouth doing what she’s doing to my finger, but on my cock. Memories of those lips of hers have kept me awake at night.
My finger pops free of her mouth, and I quickly turn, stride out of the room and close her door. I lean against the wall, trying to catch my breath and rein in the release that is really close to the surface.
“Fuck!” I curse quietly.
She’s been inside my home for all of five minutes and I’m already seconds from coming in my jeans like a randy teenager.
I need to get myself under control but I can’t do that while I’m in the same room as Charlotte, especially when there’s a bed so close. Hell, whom I kidding. A wall will do. A floor even.
Pushing away from the wall, I shout, “The bathroom is through the door, everything you need should be in there. There’s a robe behind the door.” I don’t wait for a response and run downstairs to start the coffee.
I need a huge distraction to get my mind off of Charlotte. Knowing she’s upstairs, getting undressed and going to be bathing isn’t helping though.
Remember Emma!
“Emma,” I growl, and head for the phone on the wall. I pick up the receiver and debate the wisdom of telling her over the phone, and realize I can’t end things that way. We’ve been together since high school and no matter what she’s done...or the fact that I want to join Charlotte in the bath, Emma deserves more than a mere phone call. I’m not that big an asshole.
She didn’t consider you when she fucked someone else!
My conscience is a pain in the ass.
You did similar, even if you had just ended things!
“Ugh!” I grab the phone again and realize the line must be down. No dial tone.
I stomp away to the breakfast nook and looking through the large windows, the storm has gone from bad to worse. Not a thing can be seen.
65
Charlotte
Gently lying back in the warm water, I sigh as my bruised body settles. I have some amazing bruising, but I’m not about to complain too much. If I hadn’t had my seatbelt fastened, I might not have been here now.
The roads had been icy but I’d navigated them just fine despite my thoughts being on my destination. However, even leaving space between me, and the cars around me, didn’t help when the car in front of me jackknifed across the three lanes and bumped into my rental sending me spinning. I was sure as heck lucky to walk away with only bruising. I know that there were at least two fatalities in the pile up.
Tears spring to my eyes as I think about the people who didn’t survive the crash and I feel myself shaking despite being warmed by the water. The bruising around my shoulder is the worst, but it’s also extensive over my hipbones…all from where the seatbelt had kept me safe.
Seeing Tanner in my hospital room had been a surprise and until the officer had shown up, I’d been confused as to how he knew I was there. I wasn’t about to complain because it means that I’m with the man I love.
I hadn’t meant to tempt him back in the
bedroom, or had I? I know that I crave having his hands on me. That I need to place my mouth on him so I’m reminded of his taste—of how he feels. He’s all man with his long muscular legs, and thighs that would be the envy of any football player. The thought has my fingers twitching to touch him, just like they had when we’d first met.
That night I’d certainly touched him. I touched him in places I don’t think anyone else ever had. His reaction and his words had only confirmed that. He’d certainly touched me in places that hadn’t been touched before, especially in my heart. He was still there and I don’t think anything would ever change that.
He’s all I want, which is why I’ve been unable to move on, even if I’m disappointed to find him still engaged to someone else. It confuses me. I mean I knew this before I left for Montana, but it doesn’t make any sense now that I’m here. Not if his whispered words from that night are to be believed, “I don’t want anyone as much I want you,” and I’m sure he’d only spoken the truth.
I glance out into the bedroom and feel fresh tears prickling in my eyes. This isn’t the room I want to be in. I want to be wherever Tanner is, but I understand why we can’t and I need to respect that. I don’t even feel bad for my thoughts about him knowing he’s engaged. That is something we need to talk about because I’m curious as to what is going on with him and her.
And on that cheery thought, I try to move but pain, like nothing I’ve felt before, grabs ahold of me. I inhale sharply before exhaling very slowly—repeating a few times to try and get rid of the nauseous feeling hitting me with the pain.
On one long inhale, I slowly rise and quickly slam my hands against the wall to keep me upright while I gasp at the pain rolling through me.
With a sideways glance, I realize there is no way I’m going to be able to get myself out of this bath. If the pain from rising was as intense as it were, then hell no to even trying.
McKenzie Cousins Box Set One: Books One, Two, Three Page 33
