by Ella Miles
Taking away the hate isn’t about forgiveness. We don’t need to forgive each other. Our love just lives on a spectrum between love and hate. Right now, our feelings are at one end of that spectrum, and someday they will end up on the other end. It’s when one of us stops loving each other and removes themselves from the spectrum that my world will end.
“Show me your hate. Show me your pain. Take it out on me. Use me,” I say.
He shakes his head. “No, I’m going to my room. I’ll see you when I see you.”
I move in front of him, preventing him from going anywhere. “Did I ask you? No, I told you. Use me, and I’ll use you right back.”
I push hard against his bare chest, and my hands instantly burn. His skin has never felt as hot as it does right now. And I realize it’s because the devil inside him is out right now, and he doesn’t know how to cage it again. That’s why he burns. And if he’s not careful, he’ll burn himself down, along with everyone on this ship.
“You’re hot.”
“You’re wet,” his eyes dip down to between my legs.
I roll my eyes. “I meant temperature hot.”
“I meant soaked like you just got caught in a rainstorm.”
I bite my lip. I was always taught never to play with fire, but I have a feeling playing today is going to do more than get me burned. Playing today will mean giving up everything to the fire and letting it consume me.
But maybe my ice is enough to save myself, at least this time.
“I’m warning you I will destroy you if you don’t let me pass. I will take everything and never give it back. I will burn you to the ground. I will feed on your fears and show no mercy.”
“Good, because I have no fears left to feed on. And I’ve always wanted to tame a beast.”
I move in to kiss him hungrily, planning on nipping and biting my way over his body. But he catches my chin in his hand. Fuck.
“I’m not here for your kisses,” he says.
“Then what do you want?”
His eyes heat. “I want you to pay for what I had to do to Liesel.”
I grab his jeans, jerking our bodies together. “Oh, I’ll gladly pay, and take everything I deserve from you.”
I grab his cock through his jeans. “Because your cock will be my payment.”
He gives me an evil smile, and my body tingles, trying to figure out what is going to happen next.
His hands go to my T-shirt, ripping it expertly down the middle.
T-shirt.
That’s when I remember Liesel was naked except for his shirt. Naked!
And now I’m pissed off.
I grab his balls and twist.
He jerks and winces at my grip.
“You fucking bastard. Did you fuck her? Is that how you got her to surrender her secret?” Although, I don’t think fucking Liesel would have convinced her to talk. She wants to fuck Enzo.
“I didn’t touch her.”
I don’t stop twisting.
“Lies.”
He shakes his head and spins me around, pushing my stomach into the railing and my ass into his throbbing cock. “Oh, baby, when will you learn to tell the difference between when I’m telling the truth and lying?”
He grinds into my backside. “My cock only gets hard for you.” He rubs it into me until I can feel just how hard.
“I made her strip so she would feel vulnerable.”
He jerks my pants and panties down until I’m naked.
“I tied her up so she would feel at my mercy.”
He pulls my hands behind my back as if I’m tied up.
“And then I pulled the truth from her with lies,” he whispers into my ear.
I hear his pants going down.
“But I tell you when I’m lying, and when I’m telling the truth. And I don’t plan on speaking much longer. I plan on fucking you until you fear me again. Until you want nothing to do with me. Until you run away, because now that I’ve let the monster free, he won’t go away. Not without a fight. And you will get hurt in the meantime.”
And then, we are falling. Down into the fucking ocean. To the place Enzo still thinks I fear. But I don’t. I don’t fear the ocean, especially not with Enzo wrapped around me.
The water is the same temperature as my skin, which means it must feel cold to Enzo. The surface of the water consumes me in one gulp. The impact of the water separates us for a second as we become submerged under the water.
I open my eyes, knowing the salt water will sting, but I don’t care. I want to see him.
And when I do, it feels like magic. Like we are the only two people left in the world swimming in the depths of the ocean. Enzo’s eyes meet mine, open just as wide despite the pain, and I see everything—the pain, the fear, the love.
He’s as scared to love me as I am to love him.
But we don’t live our lives letting fear win.
It’s more than the dread controlling his love. At least it’s not his fear, but his fear for me. All those he loves end up hurt by him or his enemies.
Liesel is the latest casualty. He didn’t physically hurt her, but he still caused her pain her even after promising he never would.
I know. I know you can’t love me.
And then we both break the surface, breathing in air we both desperately need.
We don’t connect immediately, the connection we had under the water was enough to overwhelm both our senses.
And suddenly just as fast as we took the dive into the water, Enzo is upon me, running his hands over my naked wet body.
“You really aren’t afraid?” he asks. His question has a double meaning. Am I afraid of the water? Am I afraid of loving him?
“No, I’m not afraid of the water,” I say, because the other question I’m terrified of.
He nods, understanding.
My legs go around his waist as his cock presses between my legs begging to be let in.
I want nothing more than to let him in, but fucking in the ocean, as romantic as it sounds, is very difficult to actually do. I want to press my lips to his, but I realize from his expression he still won’t let me. He doesn’t want to let me all the way in. So I’m left clinging to him with my body, hoping it’s enough for him to feel the emotions I reaching out for him.
“We have to swim,” he says suddenly.
“What?”
He laughs, realizing I haven’t noticed our predicament. He nods in the direction behind me. I turn and realize the yacht has continued moving away from us.
Shit.
But why, despite my brain fearing the yacht stranding us in the middle of the ocean, does my heart not care? Because I’m with Enzo.
Enzo reads my mind.
“Swim, we will figure the rest out later,” he says.
He waits, and I start doing the breaststroke, not sure if it will be enough to catch up to the yacht, but surely someone will notice us both missing soon and stop the yacht or turn it around to search for us.
I swim hard with Enzo by my side. And I swear the only thing missing from my perfect piece of heaven would be if some dolphins came up next to us and started swimming, leading us back.
Instead, it’s just the two of us. And it’s the first time in years I don’t fear the ocean. Even if we died here in the water, this moment would be worth it. This moment of connection with a man I love. That’s what I want out of life—love. I realize how empty my life was before without it.
And I’d rather have love and die young from heartbreak than spend a long, lonely life without love.
We both stop automatically as we near the yacht. As I suspected, someone noticed our absence and stopped the yacht. We climb up on the back, soaked, exhausted, and naked.
But it’s not time for rest.
Enzo pushes me down onto my back as his body engulfs me. We don’t have a condom, but neither of us cares. The chances that I am capable of getting pregnant are slim. What’s more important is this connection.
Enzo enters me, an
d my entire body feels home again. This is what has been missing from my life, and I’m never letting it go.
Milo will have to pull Enzo from me with all the force of the world to keep me away from him. And I know that Milo doesn’t have that kind of power. The kind is bigger than anything of this world. That’s the kind of power needed to separate me from Enzo.
He thrusts so deep inside me I can’t distinguish from where he ends and I start. I’ve never felt so connected to him.
“The games can’t hurt us,” I start as he thrusts silently.
“The truth can’t hurt us,” I continue.
“The lies can’t hurt us,” he finishes.
“Because we have something greater—”
Enzo doesn’t let me finish my sentence. His lips crash down on mine. Taking my breath away with a kiss I’ve been desperate for. A kiss I needed more than I needed air. And the kiss is everything. It is love itself even if Enzo would never admit it out loud.
Nothing can hurt us, not anymore, because we have something greater…
22
Milo
“Sir, Rowan Evans is here,” Vito says, stepping into the office.
I sit in my chair behind my desk—pissed and angry.
I don’t know why the man who stole Kai from me wanted an audience. But I allow him to come, if for no other reason than I can shoot him in person.
The door opens again, and Rowan steps inside.
“Well, isn’t this a surprise. I didn’t think you would ever be willing to face me, not after what you did,” I say.
“Did I hurt you?” Rowan asks, his eyes searing.
“Not physically, but you took from me.”
“And it earned me Enzo Black’s trust.”
I study him. “Why do you hate Enzo Black?”
“Because his father took someone I loved from me—my wife. And I swore on her life I would get retribution. He’s already dead, but I’ll settle for killing his son.”
My eyes darken. I was ready to kill this man for taking from me, but I might be willing to forgive the sin if he helps me take down Enzo Black.
“I assume you gave him the whore back?” I ask.
“Yes, but she’s not just a whore. She is so much more.”
I huff. “I don’t care if she’s a fucking princess. I want to steal her back and make her my whore. Then I want Enzo Black to die slowly, and watch him suffer.”
He smirks like he thinks I’m a fool. How dare he!
“Kai is Katherine Miller, Kai Miller. We all thought Enzo had already fought to claim the title of Black. But we were wrong. She’s the woman he has to fight for power of his empire.”
How did I not make the connection myself? She really is a princess, and what she could inherit is more powerful than inheriting any throne. The Black empire makes more money than most small countries. It has men and spies in almost every country. But that is not where the Black empire shines. The technology that has been developed for security purposes is greater than anything else. That’s why I buy all my security systems and yachts from him. But I know Enzo keeps the best technology for himself, that way he is always protected.
What I could do with that kind of power! If my empire were melded with his, I would be unstoppable.
“But the girl can’t have a chance at winning, not against Enzo,” I say sadly, realizing the girl really has no use beyond my initial plan.
“I heard you are missing a ring,” the man says, staring at my empty pinky finger. “That was the first task. She won. She stole it.”
An evil grin forms on my face.
“They are tied—one to one. The first to three wins. Enzo is strong, but so is Kai. And with your help, the girl could win.”
I nod, a new plan forming. I can now see why Enzo was so fascinated with her. She’s his enemy. And she equals him in every way.
I need to steal her. Or I need to steal him.
I need to threaten something she cares about to ensure she is on my side. Or threaten someone he cares about.
I need to train her to win. I need to force him to fight for me.
I need to weaken Enzo. I need to weaken Kai.
I need to take the Black empire. It doesn’t matter which of them I choose. I have leverage on both Enzo and Kai. And I won’t need either for long, just long enough to win the empire.
That’s the endgame—getting Black’s empire. And Rowan will help me accomplish that.
“I have a plan, and you are going to help me enact it.”
Black is about to lose everything he cares about. His friends, his family, his woman, and his empire. And only when he’s lost everything will I rest. Only when Enzo Black is nothing but a name people whisper in memory will I stop.
23
Enzo
It’s been weeks since I won the game.
I thought the game would destroy us, but instead it healed us. And something happened inside me in the ocean with Kai I can’t explain.
It’s like the ocean healed me along with Kai.
I’ve never felt so calm as I do now. I didn’t think the monster would ever go back in its cage. And I don’t think it did. Instead, I’ve learned to live with the monster free. And in turn, I’ve never felt so free myself.
I’m not the only one who has healed.
Kai leans over the railing on the top deck where we dove into the ocean together weeks ago. She smiles as she stares out at the blue abyss she has so much in common with.
Kai and I have healed—together.
I don’t know what you would call our relationship. There is no label to accurately define our relationship. We aren’t dating, we aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, we aren’t married. We aren’t in love. But our relationship is different than anything I’ve ever felt before.
I’m no longer in constant pain every day. I’m no longer guarding my heart or holding back any part of me. I’m free.
Our relationship isn’t the only one that has healed.
Kai and Zeke have grown closer, until they seem closer than my relationship is with Zeke. They share secrets like they are best friends.
Langston on the other hand has grown closer to me as he sees his best friend grow a relationship with Kai, leaving him in the dust. Langston has grown more and more unsettled as the days pass, and I know he’s missing the comfort of a woman in his bed. He used to enjoy countless dates and women in his bed every night. But here he can’t have that. His playboy lifestyle can’t exist here.
Zeke, on the other hand, is used to being alone. And having Kai welcome him so openly has brought him to life.
I don’t know exactly what happened during the game. I don’t know how Kai tried to hurt Zeke or why Zeke didn’t just spill his secrets to Kai immediately to ensure she won. But Zeke doesn’t look physically hurt. And whatever happened is nothing but a distant memory between them.
And even Liesel and I’s relationship has mended. At least enough where we can tolerate being in the same room with each other. Liesel is no longer my everything, but she is still worth protecting. She’s still a woman worthy of protection, even if she has secrets and pain like all the rest of us. That only makes her fit into my life more.
I walk over to Kai and lean against the railing next to her.
“Rowan wants to meet. I agreed. We need to end this fight with Milo,” I say.
Kai nods. “I agree.”
“You will stay here,” I say, knowing it’s a shitty move, but I don’t want to risk her. I trust Rowan, but I don’t trust the sea. This yacht is the safest place she can be. Nothing tops the security built into it.
She takes a deep breath. “I knew that’s how you’d feel.”
“So you aren’t going to argue with me about it?”
“No, as long as you make one promise to me. You won’t hide anything from me. You will tell me your plan when it comes to attacking Milo. And you will let me participate in the planning. You will let me judge if the fight is too risky. I won’t go with unless it’s
safe for me, but I won’t let men fight on my behalf if it’s too risky,” she says.
“My life means nothing compared to yours.”
Her eyes burn. “My life means nothing without you.”
Love has never been spoken between us. The word doesn’t exist in either of our vocabularies, but sometimes when she says things like this, I wonder if she feels it—love. But then just as easily, I dismiss the thought. We don’t love each other. We can’t love each other. This is still going to end with one winner and one loser.
“I need to go. I’m taking Langston and Zeke with me. They both need to know the plan and earn Rowan’s trust.”
“I’ll be safe,” she says.
“I know you will. Westcott has as many skills with a gun as I do. No one knows where the yacht is or that you are on it. And if you feel unsafe, go to your room. Take Liesel and everyone else with you. No one can hurt you there. The walls are impenetrable.”
She kisses me softly on the lips. “Go, make a plan. The sooner you talk to Rowan the sooner we can all head home. Everyone is getting far too antsy as it is. If we don’t go home soon, there might be a mutiny.”
I smile and then disappear before I change my mind and decide to spend my day fucking her again, like I have every day since the game.
I find Langston on the deck watching Zeke pull the small tinder boat around for us to meet Rowan away from this yacht. I trust Rowan, but I don’t want him to know where Kai is. If one of his team members aren’t as trust worthy as he is, they could tell Milo. And then we’d be fucked.
“Let’s roll,” I say to Langston as Zeke inches forward with the boat.
But Langston stops me. “I don’t trust him.”
“Rowan? I don’t trust anyone fully, but he is our best chance at taking down Milo. He is the reason we have Kai right now.”
“No, I meant Zeke.”
“Zeke?” What the fuck? “He’s like a brother to us. He’s sacrificed his life for us.”
“I know. But he’s hiding something. When he did a surveillance run last week, he was gone longer than he should have been. He said he was checking out another yacht nearby, but our radar showed no other boats. There is something he’s not telling us,” Langston says staring at Zeke who has pulled the boat to us.
