by Mariah Stone
“But what, sweet?” Angus said.
She bit her lip. “I’m supposed to leave for the convent at the end of this summer. But how can I serve God when I killed so many men that I lost count?”
Angus paled. Yes, he’d seen her fighting like a she-wolf, and he knew she’d likely have some trouble coming to terms with that, and it looked like he’d been right.
“Are ye thinking of nae going?” he asked.
She wrapped her arms over her chest, her eyes filling with tears. “I want to go, Angus. ’Tis my calling. ’Tis what God wants. I just… I dinna ken if I can be a good servant to the Lord if I already broke his commandment.”
Rogene rubbed her shoulder. “Maybe you should talk to Father Nicholas about that?”
Catrìona nodded. “Ye’re right. I will. I need to finish tending to the wounded. I just saw ye two from the window and had to come see ye and make sure ye’re both unharmed.”
“Aye, dinna fash, sister. We’re both well.”
“Good, I’m so glad.”
With that, they walked towards the keep. Catrìona climbed up the stairs to where the wounded were. Rogene went up to get her purse with the magical object she called a phone.
While she was gone, he went into his bedchamber and found the leather roll with the letter from the Bruce and put it behind the belt of his breeches, under his tunic.
When they both returned to the ground floor, they stared at the stairs leading down.
Angus looked at her. “Do ye still want to go?”
She sighed. “I have to, Angus.”
His heart was tearing apart as she turned and walked down the stairs. The lower they descended, the faster his mind was spinning. Every step brought her closer to the rock.
Brought the end of their brief but wonderous relationship closer.
He’d never see her again. He’d never talk to her, never touch her, never say how much he loved her.
Never touch that possibility of happiness again.
They were now at the long hall of the basement. Angus took a torch from the sconce on the wall and they walked down the hall towards the door at the end. Time crawled, but he wanted it to stop altogether. That damned Highland faerie. Where was she? If she commanded time, mayhap he could persuade her, bribe her, convince her nae to do it…
But Rogene had already opened the heavy door and stepped inside the cave-like room. It smelled like mold and water and wet stone.
The light of the torch fell on the floor and the wall to his right. There it was, the rock, surrounded by the chests and casks and sacks. Where he’d lost the ring he’d meant to give to Euphemia and met the woman who’d changed his life forever.
He set the torch in a sconce above the rock. The flame threw dancing shadows around them, and darkness surrounded the spot of warm orange light in the middle of which Rogene stood.
Once she left, all light would be gone from his life, too. He stared at the rock with its curvy patterns and the handprint, and he hated it with all his might. He wished he could smash it into dust with his own hands and trap Rogene with him here forever.
“So, I guess this is it,” she said.
She looked pale, and her eyes were big on him.
Only moments were left till they’d be separated forever. Nae, he couldna have it.
“I canna let ye go,” he said and took her by the hand.
“But Angus—”
That familiar, sweet tingling went through him like every time they touched. “Nae. Listen to me. Ye can still stay. I ken ’tis nae what ye deserve, but listen. What if I marry Euphemia—and God kens how much I dinna want to do it—but what if I do, and ye will be my mistress?”
She frowned, angry. “Your mistress?”
“Aye. I hate myself for suggesting this, but ’tis how we can be together. I can give ye a house—a small estate, men to protect ye, and I would come and visit ye every moon. Euphemia would never ken of ye, and my men would die protecting ye. Ye’ll have everything ye want—”
“Except you,” she said coldly. “And except my brother.”
“Ye have me already, Rogene. Ye have me always. Always. I dinna want to marry her, and ’tis ye who tells me I must. For that child who’d save the Stuart kings.”
“No. That would not be having you. You’d still be away. You’d still have her to think of. Your wife.” She spat the word as though it tasted bitter. “You’ll have your son…”
“Ye’ll give me sons. Or daughters. I dinna care which. We’ll have children.”
She scoffed. “No, Angus. I won’t abandon my brother for this. I couldn’t stay even if you could marry me. I’m the only one he’s got. No one else cares for him, and he’s still seventeen years old.”
Her brother… Oh Lord, he understood that more than anyone. He, whose life was dedicated to protecting his own siblings. And still…
She took a step towards the rock and something broke in him. This was it. She’d be gone forever.
He dropped to his knees as if a scythe had sliced through his ankles. He didn’t beg her. He wanted to. He had to shut his mouth tight to stop the words.
She took another step, their hands still connected, their eyes locked.
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
Another step. So far away, he almost had to let go of her hand.
He had to let go of her.
He had to.
“I will always love ye, lass,” he said.
With the last blessing of his words, he let go of her fingers. He pulled up his tunic. His hands refused to move, and he willed them with a strength he didn’t know he had. He retrieved the leather roll and held it out for her.
Their eyes locked, and there was surprise in hers, and pain and sadness. She didn’t need to ask what it was. She knew.
“Thank you. But I know it’s important to you. I’ll do the work to find it in my own time. Hide it somewhere safe. Somewhere new,” she said through tears. Then she spun around and slammed her hand into the handprint. “I will never forget you.”
With wide eyes, Angus stared at the carving, which began to glow. Something happened with the air, as though a tremor went through it, like a distant earthquake.
He blinked, and saw her turning to him, and their eyes met for the last time. And then she was gone.
Just gone.
And although the torch was still burning, his whole world went dark.
Chapter 31
Oxford University, June 2021
“Congratulations!” said David.
Rogene looked up from the diploma in her hand. Her brother gave a soft chuckle and came to stand before her.
The University Parks were bright and alive with birdsong. Summer, contrary to common belief, was lovely in England, and Rogene inhaled sweet air full of the scent of greenery, blooming trees and flowers, and warm rocks.
She’d just defended her thesis. When she’d come back to her own time and told Professor Lenticton she wanted to work with a team to find that letter, they’d found it, thanks to Anusua and Karin. Anusua had checked through fifty letters from around that time, and had found evidence suggesting there might be a secret storage area in the underground rooms of Eilean Donan. They went to the castle as a team, and by carefully examining the wall, Karin had seen one stone that looked different from the rest and found the letter hidden behind a rock in the wall. Rogene knew this used to be Angus’s uisge brewery and the place where Bruce had hidden.
Once they’d pulled it out, there it was, the leather roll. The singed edges of the parchment reminded her of the day she’d thrown the letter into the fire only to have Euphemia take it out.
Thanks to that find, not only had Rogene honored her mother’s legacy, but she’d also started a whole new direction of research. Suddenly her name seemed to be on everyone’s lips—at least in the history department.
Rogene realized how great it was, to work on a team and trust her colleagues. She’d never have been able accomplish as much by herself in such a s
hort period of time.
Professor Lenticton had already offered her a position as her assistant professor. Rogene would lead the research team on this topic. Professor Lenticton said she was proud of her, to see how she’d changed and was now open to teamwork.
David had flown back to his aunt and uncle after Rogene’s disappearance. While Rogene was gone, he’d had his eighteenth birthday.
Once she was back, Rogene had called David’s school principal and asked for him to allow her to homeschool David until his final exams, which were coming in two weeks. She felt incredibly guilty and just couldn’t bear the thought of letting him remain with her aunt and uncle where he’d continue to be ignored and not supported with his dyslexia.
He was still waiting to hear about the football scholarship to Northwestern University, and was grateful to stay with her and have her help preparing for his exams.
She realized David had congratulated her and she’d never responded to him.
“Thank you,” Rogene said.
They’d agreed to meet up here after her defense. Although her colleagues had suggested going for a beer, she’d said she’d join them later, after she celebrated with her brother. With an ice cream—just like they had when their mom and dad were alive.
“Why don’t you look happy?” David said. “Before the wedding, you were all about this thing. You got the job with your supervisor. Isn’t it what you wanted so much? The degree, job security, and proving Mom’s hypothesis?”
She sucked in a breath. “Goddamn you and your observational skills. Let’s go, we’ll talk there.”
They walked to a gelato shop where she bought him his favorite pistachio ice cream and a strawberry chocolate for herself.
“Actually, you haven’t been yourself ever since you got back from that strange trip when you went like completely AWOL.”
Karin had called the police the next morning when Rogene hadn’t come down for breakfast in the hotel in Dornie. They had all been terrified while the police had searched for her, interviewed the wedding guests and the museum staff. David had stayed in contact with Karin every day until Rogene got back, hoping to hear some news about her, frustrated that he wasn’t allowed to go and search for her himself.
Rogene sighed. “You have no idea.” She licked her gelato and closed her eyes. Whenever she enjoyed something, she always thought Angus would have loved it. But there was no ice cream in the Middle Ages.
They crossed the street and slowly walked along the path. Oaks, which were planted along it at equal intervals, rustled gently in the wind. The big meadow of mowed grass was full of students sitting on blankets and sunbathing. Dogs barked, people laughed. It smelled like fresh grass, sunscreen, and barbecue. The sun was pleasant on Rogene’s skin, warming her, and she waited for the aching tension in her shoulders to loosen. Now she’d achieved everything she’d ever wanted. The degree. The job. Mom’s recognition. David was by her side.
She’d worked twelve hours a day after she’d returned, to submit the thesis on time. Then hours and hours of meetings and reading and learning and preparation for the defense. Now she could relax.
But the tension wasn’t going away. And that nausea she’d had for a few days before the defense… She’d attributed it to nerves, but even now that she’d given her defense and gotten her diploma, it still wasn’t going away.
Actually, it had gotten worse with the ice cream, and she couldn’t even look at it anymore.
She rolled her shoulders back. She knew what the problem was. Angus wasn’t here. He didn’t exist in her time.
She hadn’t been able to bring herself to check Angus and Euphemia’s marriage certificate since she’d returned. But she’d briefly checked the history of the Scottish kings, and it had all worked out perfectly, just the way she remembered.
So he must have married Euphemia like he’d said he would. And she must have had Paul Mackenzie. Rogene didn’t know. It was too painful to think of that, let alone look through the documents. And what would be the point? She’d only terrorize her heart, which already throbbed as though put through a meat grinder.
“I didn’t want to talk with you about it until you’d defended your thesis,” David said, “but I know you didn’t run away with a secret boyfriend like you said. You have no boyfriends. Secret or otherwise.”
Rogene sighed. “Yeah. You’re too smart for your own good. What do you think I did, then?”
She felt her brother’s piercing eyes on her. “I think…I think you disappeared.”
“Yeah, Sherlock. I disappeared with Cameron. Like I told you. I’d had enough of the stress with the wedding, with the thesis, with Lenticton. He was walking his dog on the island and he talked to me. I went for a drink with him. The rest is history.”
“Yeah,” David said after he bit into a chunk of the ice cream. “But you would have called, or texted, or emailed. I know you. You would have never left me. You text me daily when I’m in the States and get worried if I don’t reply by the end of the night.”
His brown eyes were serious and, as always, so intelligent, taking in her carefully. Could she really tell him the truth? He’d think she was lying, of course, but then she could turn it into a joke. And she really wanted to tell someone about her crazy adventure…about Angus.
What was the worst thing that could happen if she did confess? She would tell him she was kidding if he didn’t believe her. Which would, probably, be a bit cowardly and mean, but she really didn’t have the mental capacity to fight with anyone about anything. All she needed was a friend. Was support. And her brother was the best support she could get.
“Okay,” she said, “let’s go sit and talk.”
He put an arm around her and hugged her to his side, reminding her of how huge he was, and how loving. “Okay.”
They sat on a bench under the shadow of a large oak tree. David bit into the cone. He was half done with his ice cream. Looking at her now dripping cone, Rogene felt nauseated, and threw it into the trash with regret.
David turned to her, bending his leg on the bench so that he was facing her. “So? Where did you really disappear to?”
She let out a long sigh. “Back in time, David. To 1310.”
He raised his brows with an amused chuckle. “What?”
She gave a nervous laugh. “Ha! Gotcha. Funny, right?”
But he didn’t laugh. He narrowed his eyes as he chewed on the last of his cone. “Not really. You don’t look too amused.”
Rogene wiped her sweaty hands against her skirt. “Well. Then I suppose I was with Cameron, taking a break from everything and going AWOL for once in my life.”
David rested his hand on her arm, looking concerned. “You’re acting weird, and I want to know why. So, suppose you’re telling the truth. How did you travel in time?”
“Forget it,” she said. “Does time travel sound more believable than me running away with a guy?”
David chuckled. “No offense, but yeah.”
“Well, offense!” she said. “Excuse me, I’m not so bad looking.”
“That’s not the issue. The issue is you’re so organized and controlled. You’d never just take off for several weeks.” He paused, eyeing her. “So maybe you were kidnapped. Are you covering for someone? Do you have Stockholm syndrome?”
“I don’t have Stockholm syndrome. And I wasn’t kidnapped. And I’m not protecting anyone. I don’t want you to think I’m insane.”
“Okay, don’t worry about that. Just tell me what happened.”
Rogene groaned. “Ugh. Okay. I’ll tell you, but remember you asked for it.”
“Sure.”
And then she told him. About Sìneag. The rock. Angus Mackenzie being allegedly her soul mate. About the slap. The church and Father Nicholas. Then going back to Eilean Donan. Euphemia. Writing the contract. Bruce’s letter. Angus falling in love with her and canceling the wedding. The kidnapping. Her journey to retrieve him. Their trip back. Her telling him about Paul Mackenzie and them breaking
up. Her traveling back.
By the end, she was telling the story through hysterical, childish sobs. David hugged her and she pressed her forehead into his shoulder, smudging her running makeup against his T-shirt.
She cried for some time, letting the ache pour out of her like bad blood, letting her brother soothe her.
When she could finally speak, she looked up at him, wiping her eyes. “So, what do you think?” she said. “Do you believe me?”
He stilled, looking at her as though trying to decide how to tell her she was actually naked in a public place. “Uhm. I believe you seem to believe your words. You’re not a great liar or a great actress. Never have been. So I can’t imagine you’d be so upset if you didn’t believe this to be true. Which makes me wonder what kind of pills you were given. And where you were held while you were hallucinating like that. And what the fuck they did to you while you were unconscious. You need to tell all this to the police.”
Rogene sighed. Of course he didn’t believe her. “Sure. I need to talk to the police again.”
“I’m serious. Someone dangerous is out there, kidnapping women and drugging them.”
“Probably,” she said. She felt rejected and misunderstood, and although she knew that chances of him believing her were slim, she still felt hurt.
“Anyway, enough of that,” she said. “Shall we go to the pub? You can’t drink, of course, but you can hang out with my colleagues and me.”
David looked at her with concern. “Uhm. Are you sure you want to go in this state? You look…like a panda.”
“Ah, damn it.” She sighed and brushed her hair with her hands. She retrieved her phone and unlocked it. The photo of Angus appeared on the screen. She’d looked at it for luck before her presentation, and her photos were still open. She tapped the camera app and pressed on the camera-reverse icon to take a look at herself and correct her makeup, so the photo disappeared.
But David frowned. “Who was that?”
She swallowed. “No one.”
“No. Show me. Come on.”
