by C B Samet
My mouth fell open. It had taken me several moments to finally realize why the words he spoke in a high-pitched, mock-female voice were so familiar.
“That’s my journal!”
He smirked. “Yes. It was discovered in your servant’s chambers, but I’m not finished.” He wiggled a pudgy finger. “It gets all mushy for a page or so before the dramatic twist. There you were cutting through the courtyard, late for a class, when you saw sweet Dillon running his hands through Jilli’s hair. What a crushing first love. What a tainted first kiss. A hundred pages later and all that’s in this thing are boring travels all over the kingdom.” He waved my journal in the air. “Not another word of another boy. You haven’t really gotten over him, have you?”
Dillon had been all of those things—charming, handsome and skilled at kissing. We were first years in college and young. I had never had the attention of a boy before and I found myself en- chanted by it. For a short time I entertained the idea it was love, but time and maturity exposed it as infatuation. Nevertheless, it had been a painful discovery to learn his caresses were so easily shared with other girls.
Running through the snow after witnessing his betrayal, I had fought back tears and found my way to Paul’s dormitory. I pounded on the door until he answered; but when I looked up, a large man loomed over me. He took in my small size, flushed face and snow-covered coat, and returned my gaze with a quizzical look.
“Paul?” I cried, trying to look past the obstacle in the doorway.
The man tipped back his glass of milk, took a gulp and then studied me again.
“Paul!” I yelled again.
“He’ll be back in a few minutes. He went out for groceries,” the big lug said.
I stood there in frustrated silence. Why had I come? I didn’t know what I was going to tell Paul or what I expected him to do about it.
And I didn’t want some random stranger to see me in my current distraught state.
“I’m Joshua. Paul’s roommate.”
I looked down at the ground, still angry at Dillon, and now angry at Paul for not being available.
“You must be Abbey, Paul’s sister,” he added, stepping inside and gesturing for me to come in out of the snow.
I entered and pulled my boots off by the door. Hanging up my coat, I followed him to the kitchen, where he finished his milk with another gulp and poured me a cup of hot tea. I sat down and stared at the table.
He looked at me sideways as though waiting for me to do or say something. “You seem a bit distraught,” he finally said with a slow, deliberate tone.
“I ...” I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to talk to anyone except Paul, but I felt like my heart was exploding. “Men are pigs,” I finally said.
He chuckled at first and then straightened when I glared at him.
I sipped the tea.
“Well,” he began slowly, sitting across from me at the table, “some of us can be arrogant and selfish and inconsiderate. I suppose hating all of us is one solution.”
“It is the one I’ve decided upon.”
“I see. And how long did it take you to come to this decision?”
“About thirty seconds,” I retorted. “About the time it takes to see someone doting on someone else.”
He nodded. “Right. I see.”
I scowled at his patronizing tone.
“I know some girls who have been irrational, presumptuous, emotional, flighty and childlike at times, but I don’t think all of them are this way.”
“I’m not a child,” I sneered, though the moment the words escaped my lips, I realized how much I looked and sounded like one. Traipsing through the snow, banging on my big brother’s door, and pouting in a stranger’s kitchen was suddenly embarrassing. I tried to recover. “But I am upset. And that can lead to sweeping generalizations.”
“Understandably,” he agreed lightheartedly. “You’re upset because your sweetheart is fond of another girl.”
I started to speak, but stopped, shrugged and looked away.
“He’s not your sweetheart?”
“Well, how is that defined exactly? If a boy kisses a girl, then it seems that would make them an exclusive couple.”
“Ah, so it was never discussed if he was or wasn’t allowed to kiss someone else?”
I faltered. “It’s understood,” I replied, my voice rising. “I don’t know,” Joshua said, leaning back in his chair. “If the parameters of a relationship are not yet defined, you can hardly hate someone, or an entire gender, for something you merely perceive to be deception.”
My feelings of betrayal were replaced with feelings of anger. “It is simply wrong to lead someone to believe you like them with your actions while courting someone else!”
He shrugged. “Undefined parameters. You assumed you were exclusive to each other, but he never made such a commitment.”
I started to outburst again, when I realized that this brute was enjoying watching my hurt feelings take flight into rage. Leaving my unfinished tea on the table, I stormed back to the front door and whisked on my boots and coat.
“Abbey,” Joshua began, “don’t leave mad.”
The door opened and Paul came in out of the cold. “Abbey?” he startled.
“I was just leaving,” I hissed, tying off my scarf. Walking outside, I added, “Your roommate is a repulsive Muglik.”
As I trudged back into the snow, I heard Paul ask Joshua what happened.
“I was helping her recover from a broken heart. She’ll be so angry with me for the next month or so that she’ll forget about the creep who broke her heart.”
It was the first time I had met Joshua and not the last time he would infuriate me.
I snapped out of my memory as two Swallowers dragged a half-beaten man into the sitting room. I didn’t recognize him at first.
Malos spoke. “Imagine my delight when I discovered I have the infamous Dillon right here in my dungeon.”
I looked closer. It was Dillon! Several years older and not quite as handsome as my memory or my journal had suggested, but it was him. He looked worn and broken with his head hung low and discolored, blood-stained clothes clinging to his body. My stomach turned at the thought of what they had done to him because of a childish journal entry.
“My gift to you,” Malos continued. “You can decide if you still love him and want him to live, in which case you surrender to me. Alternatively, you can decide to take the revenge you deserve for his betrayal, and I will kill him for you.”
I looked back and forth between Malos and Dillon incredulously. I didn’t want him to die. Beyond a few days, I hadn’t spent another moment thinking of him or wishing ill of him. There were a few other mild infatuations since him, like Vallik, but I had learned not to be so emotional as I had been with Dillon. I learned a lesson and never wanted to feel vulnerable again—no more childish scribbles in my journal about men.
If I’d given any real thought to it later, I probably would have torn those pages out long ago. That my journal was devoid of other relation- ships was not intended to be a reflection of having been locked in love with Dillon. It was more representative of my own maturity. Malos had misconstrued my journal, but I couldn’t see an escape.
“Don’t hurt him,” I said, unable to swallow a lump rising in my throat.
His beady eyes narrowed. He knew that my tone was not the pleading tone of a lover. I could see his distraught expression at the realization that I neither loved nor hated the poor man on his knees before me. Yet, if Malos knew me at all, he would know that I would plead for a man’s life even without loving him.
I tried to form words to insist Malos leave him alive, but he must have mistaken my silence for impassiveness. Bitterly throwing my journal into the fire, he nodded his head to the Swallowers.
“No!” I screamed. But they swiftly dangled him in the air and swallowed Dillon whole.
Malos started screaming at me, “Servant! You will fail!”
I sank to
the floor and felt the grass of the Meridian Forest beneath me once again.
Moments later, I felt myself being lifted gingerly. Turning my head, I met Joshua’s gaze as he carried me over to the carriage and lay me under it.
“Abbey, you’re so stubborn,” he said, his tone soft, more like the tone he had used when he said he had admired me.
He tossed aside my wet cloak and wrapped me in a dry blanket. I curled up in his arms and sobbed. Guilt hung in my throat with the putrid taste of bile. A life was lost because of me. I couldn’t bring my-self to even speak to tell Joshua what had happened.
The next morning I slept late. My blistered hands and bruised side were completely healed. Joshua must have used his stone on me in my sleep. The camp was filled with the scent of roasted pheasant. My stomach leaped in expectation. I found a bowl set aside for me, but the camp was barren. I ate guiltily, feeling as though I didn’t deserve to eat given last night’s events.
Inok walked back from attending to the Queen and informed me curtly that Joshua and Allis had ventured to Meredith for food. I was too busy filling my stomach to let his disapproving look bother me. He was probably irritated that I slept late or perhaps that I was wrapped in a blanket and not dressed yet, or both. If he got upset over something as little as me oversleeping, I could only imagine his angst if he knew that someone died last night because of me.
The rain stopped, a pleasant sun shone through the trees, and a breeze swept through our camp. I swallowed a few wild figs to finish off breakfast and tended to the drying clothes. My own clothes were still damp, but I dressed anyway.
I unhitched the ox and let all of the animals roam to green grass. The horses were in high spirits with the cool breeze. They pranced around in between eating foliage.
When the clothes were dry, the horses fed, and wood gathered for our evening campfire, I found dry ground and curled up with my red cloak.
Damned journal. I was glad Malos burned it. It was nothing more than the rambling thoughts of a young girl. I should have burned it years ago, but all of my travels were recorded there. Malos thought I would surrender with the threat of harm to Dillon. If Paul were still alive, I would have surrendered for his life with less hesitation than I showed last night. I thought of Joshua. Malos must never know my feelings for him.
Phobus lay down beside me. He lowered his head as if to let me know that he was sad to see me upset. I rested my head on his warm, soft chest and stroked him softly as I drifted to sleep.
“Abbey,” I heard softly.
I opened my eyes to see Joshua kneeling beside me. I wrapped my arms around him, and he lifted me to my feet. “I missed you,” I murmured into his neck. He returned the embrace.
Then, he pulled away and looked down at me. “Is everything okay?”
I shook my head. “More people are dying every day, and we still have so far to go.”
He nodded. “Let’s walk back to camp. We got fresh salmon, baked bread and moon juice. Try to relax and realize that we’re doing every- thing we can for the ones who are still alive.”
I nodded and we reached the fireside as the late afternoon sun slipped away. Allis handed me a salmon sandwich and a cup of moon juice, a potent spirit made from corn distillation. I ate and drank until the guilt and self-pity were drowned beneath a layer of sloshing merriment.
Allis told Inok of our river ride, Joshua explained the game of shullby to him, and the Queen and I laughed at them all.
“What’s your story, Allis?” Joshua asked around the campfire.
Allis smiled, his wide mouth revealing a band of white teeth. “I am here to be on a quest.”
“Is that all?” Joshua asked. “It’s quite an ordeal to leave your home and join strangers to risk your life for a quest.”
Still smiling, Allis furrowed his brow as though confused by the question. “In my lifetime, I have the opportunity to be a part of the quest to raise the Champion. I get to travel with the Queen of the country and be a part of her team of protectors. These are opportunities of a lifetime, opportunities of the millennium. And you ask me why am I here?”
Joshua raised his hands in surrender. “Those are good reasons,” he submitted.
“Besides,” Allis added, his smile widening once again. “If I survive this, I can have the wife of my choosing.”
We all burst with laughter.
Then I challenged Inok to drunken swordplay. We stumbled around each other and around the fire, laughing at who was less coordinated.
Allis began drumming sticks together and Joshua joined him by playing the flute he had carved earlier from a stick. The Queen slapped her hands on an empty horse bucket.
“Keep that beat!” I exclaimed. It matched a song we used to sing at Oxville. I started to chant the words while leading Inok in a dance around the fire. He joined in giddily.
Boom, boom, boom
Lift your hands and
Dance, dance, dance
Zoom, zoom, zoom
Circle the fire and
Chant, chant, chant
Move, move, move
Stomp your feet and
Clap, clap, clap
Step, step, step
Jump up and
Shake, shake, shake
I danced and sang until my voice was hoarse, my chest heaved in breathlessness, and my muscles went limp with exhaustion. Knowing he would catch me, I collapsed into Joshua’s arms with a giggle. He looked at me with amusement and brushed a hand through my hair.
I reached for my glass of moon juice, but he handed me a flask of water instead. Nodding gratefully, I drank. Finding a comfortable position on the ground, I leaned back against him.
After staring at the mesmerizing fire, I soon realized that everyone had quieted. I looked around and saw that Allis was slumbering against a tree, Inok was unconscious on the ground, and the Queen had retired to her chambers. With great effort and focus, I was able to stand and cover Inok with his blanket.
Joshua led me to a blanket he laid out under the stars. We curled up together and slept soundly.
Before dawn Allis and Inok left to hunt in the woods. Joshua and I packed up the camp, while the Queen took pleasure in feeding and petting the animals.
The two men returned that morning with a small deer, which they had already skinned and cleaned. They hung the hide on the carriage rear box to dry and wrapped up the meat to keep it clean. We were soon en route north once again.
The air through the forest was slightly humid, and our party seemed more sedate and reflective compared to most days. Allis still smiled, but less robustly. Inok was his usual brooding self though without any misdirected malice toward me. Joshua seemed especially quiet, and I wondered if the long journey was wearing down his usual easygoing personality. The Queen sat beside Allis on the carriage and scanned the scenery with quiet admiration.
I decided to engage Inok in conversation. He opened up about his family in Ntajid. He had three younger sisters who had taken up fishing in Waterton. He became a runner like his father.
For five years now he had run for the Queen. Possessing the Veil Stone, he was chosen for the most important and most covert responsibilities.
Then, I came along and now he was a servant. He didn’t mention that last part, but a flicker of irritation in his eyes betrayed it.
I dismounted Phobus and decided to walk next to him so we could converse better.
I asked him where he had gotten the Che stone.
“My father received it from the gypsies after running a message to Karnelik,” Inok explained. “I touched it one day as a youth and we discovered its powers. My family couldn’t see me. I discovered later that I could control the radius of what disappears.”
With a half smile, he added, “It is a dangerous gift for a young man to have, but I do not abuse the power ... much.” He winked.
I laughed.
He talked me into running for a short while, urging me to feel the power in the freedom of being able to cross great distan
ces. The animals trotted with us. In under half an hour I stopped, panting. All I felt was burning in my lungs and legs. I blamed it on the moon juice.
He laughed at me, then slowed his pace to a walk.
At last we stopped and made camp. Allis and Inok began bickering over the preparation of the deer for dinner.
The meat was tender and scrumptious and the bread from Meredith still fresh. Though there was moon juice left, everyone’s preferred beverage for the night was water. We briefly discussed over dinner how we would reach Karnelik before nightfall the following day. Still weary from the previous night’s boisterous activity, everyone parted ways and went to bed early.
I lay on Joshua’s shoulder, looking up at the stars peeking through the trees.
“Thank you for traveling with me,” I began as a blanket of sleep nearly covered me. “You’ve made this whole expedition bearable.”
He squeezed my shoulder gently. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Silence settled between us, and I started to drift off to sleep.
“I saw my parents in Meredith,” Joshua said.
A sharp stab of guilt struck me. I had been so self-absorbed in my quest and my fears, I hadn’t thought about what Joshua was experiencing. We were just a few miles from Meredith, and not once had I asked him about his parents. They lived inside the city and worked at a restaurant. Did they still work? They were probably in their sixties now.
“Are they well?” I asked, taking his hand.
I felt him nod in the darkness. “They seemed to be okay. There wasn’t time to stop for a greeting so I looked in on them from a distance. They were having lunch at the Blue Fish Café. They looked happy. Safe and happy.”
“We will stop Malos before he ever reaches Meredith,” I pledged to him.
He squeezed my hand.
I pushed myself up off his chest, and brushed my lips against his. His eyes grew wide and intense as he leaned his head forward. His lips met mine as his hand came up my neck in a gentle caress. My body felt lighter than air and my skin grew taut, as if pulled by a tantalizing string at the midline.
