by Mahi Mistry
My hands smoothed down to her thighs, squeezing the soft skin when I reared back and rammed inside her. “Oh, God. Ethan!”
I groaned, and she whimpered, my length caressing her velvety tight walls. The warm pressure of her weeping pussy was enough to drive me to the edge as I throbbed achingly inside her.
“Come on, Kiara!” I growled, lightly smacking her ass and yanking her hair. I gradually increased my thrusts, her breathy moans echoing in her office, her blouse ruffled, and pressed her breasts down on the cold wooden surface.
“Please, Ethan. Oh, fuck,” she let out a sweet whimper, my thrusts aiming at her sensitive spot when her body started trembling, her orgasm teetering on the edge.
“I am right there with you, Bella,” I panted, releasing her hair and holding her hips with both of my hands. Her delicious walls clenching me when she started spasming and came with a groan. I pushed deeper, grunting softly, and released my load inside her wet cavern, her body convulsing and withering when I caressed her back.
I pressed a kiss to her neck, my hand caressing the taut belly bump. “Are you okay?” I asked, pulling out of her. I took a handful of tissues from the box on her desk to clean her up, then dropped them in the dustbin.
She sighed, giving me a small hum, not opening her eyes. With a small smile, I turned her around and smoothed my hands down her waist. I kissed her neck, giving soft kisses to her pert nipples, her breasts bigger and more tender than before as I kneaded them and covered them with the cups of her bra, fixing her blouse.
“I really love your cock, Ethan,” Kiara whispered, her amber eyes hooded.
“I am glad you love me for my cock, Bella,” I teased, straightening her underwear and pulling her trousers over her legs. I buttoned them, making sure they weren’t too tight for her bump. I pressed a kiss to her growing stomach and stood up to my full height.
She cupped my face, her thumb stroking my cheek lovingly. “I could easily fall in love with you, Ethan.”
I smiled at her. “I already have, Kiara.”
She froze, knowing my confession was out of the blue. I squeezed her waist, “Shh, stop thinking. Take your time, you don’t have to answer right away.”
Kiara relaxed, her warm eyes glinting with golden flecks. “I am halfway there, E. I took the biggest fart on the heart for you,” she grinned, pressing a close-mouthed kiss on my lips.
“So did I, sweetheart. Now finish your lunch before you need to get to your class.”
Her eyes dropped to my pants. She licked her lips and batted her lashes at me, “Will I get the dessert?”
A chuckle poured out of me as I pulled out a chair for her, “You are insatiable.”
She truly was. She was eight weeks pregnant and ever since we found out about it, we had been having sex like wild animals and our libido had increased ten folds. We had planned for a small lunch date in her office during the lunch hours, but as soon as I opened the door to her office to greet her, she had pounced on me, begging me to fuck her like a wanton woman.
I hadn’t complained one bit, wanting to satisfy all her needs.
I loved and cherished her, what was there to complain about?
“Are you sure you can finish all that?” I asked, watching her eat chicken like a starved woman.
“Babe, I am growing a child inside me. Do you think that’s easy?” she licked her lips, eyeing my plate, “Are you sure you will finish it?”
Shaking my head, I pushed my plate toward her and took a sip of my beer, changing the channel on the television. We had taken a warm shower together, making her come three times in a row after she sucked me off. We ordered some fried chicken and cuddled on the couch.
I caressed her stomach, already excited to talk to the tiny human being growing inside her and read them stories. We didn’t have the time to tell our parents, as we were both busy with our work and preparing for the auction, which was happening in a couple of weeks. So, we decided to break the good news to our friends and family together at dinner that day. If all went well, Karan wouldn’t try to punch me for getting his little sister pregnant.
There was a very intense look in her eyes when she sipped on her glass of water, her appetite full.
“What are you thinking, Bella?” I whispered.
She blinked her eyes at me, a small smile curving on her lips before she shook her head. “I need to go pee,” she groaned, frustration ringing in her voice as I watched her amble to the washroom. She hated living in the washroom for half of her day.
As we cuddled on the bed later that night, my hand caressing her bump, we both talked about the baby names, wondering if it would be a girl or a boy. I told her it would be a little princess, but she frowned at me and said she wanted a son like me, which made me blush.
We couldn’t be happier.
But late in the night, when it was cloudy and dark, I woke up when Kiara shuffled in her sleep. That was normal, but what wasn’t normal was the blood on the sheets. Her face was scrunched in pain. I gently woke her up.
“Bella,” I said, her eyes opening up to me. “You are bleeding.”
I sat up on the bed, my lower belly aching with unbearable cramps. Tears welled in my eyes when I saw the mattress and my sweatpants were covered in my blood. Ethan was kneeling beside me on the edge of the bed trying to say that little bleeding was normal. But I knew it was not normal.
Something was wrong.
“It’s alright, sweetheart. Shh, don’t cry, I will talk to the doctor.”
He wiped the silent tears from my face and helped me stand up. He gave me some space in the washroom while he changed the sheets and asked me to call for him if it hurt too much.
We were silent on our drive to the hospital. I was clutching his hand tightly with both hands while he silently drove the car. We both didn’t know what to say, especially after we had just decided on names.
It’s my fault.
No, no, no, don’t think like that, Kiara. The baby is fine.
I can’t lose another child.
“It will be alright, Bella,” Ethan whispered, squeezing my hand while I sat patiently on the bed. The nurse and doctor had checked up on me and we were waiting for the doctor.
I nodded and tried to smile at him, but I couldn’t smile. I straightened up when the doctor came in, and looking at her face, I knew what she was going to say. My heart broke into tiny pieces. My throat ached and a soundless sob escaped my mouth. I shook my head, not wanting to hear what she was going to say. Wanting to deny the truth. Tears blurred my eyes and pooled down my face.
“We are sorry for your loss,” she said, trying to be polite as she held my shoulder. Ethan squeezed my hand. He looked like he was about to cry when he scooted to the bed and hugged me to his chest.
My sobs pierced through the room, and the doctor left us alone, closing the door behind her. It was hard listening to myself cry while I felt the hospital gown getting wet over my shoulder. Ethan was crying too, but didn’t want to make a sound.
I kept muttering, ‘I am sorry’ through the heaving sobs as I clutched my stomach and squeezed my eyes shut, wanting to stop the pain.
It had been a week since the death of my second unborn child and it was taking a toll on me. I tried to be the best teacher I could, focusing on my job even though it made me cry every time I was alone. Ethan had tried asking me to go to therapy, but I didn’t dare to speak up about it. I kept the façade up that I was alright. That I was fine. But both Ethan and I knew I wasn’t.
“Morning, Bella,” I heard Ethan’s hoarse voice and tensed up. I served the eggs on a plate for him, keeping it on the island.
“Morning,” I mumbled and moved my head, closing my eyes when he pecked my cheek.
I heard him sigh, and my hands balled in fists when he sat down on the stool, his unmatched eyes searching for mine.
“Where’s your breakfast, Kiara? Come on, we can share,” he nodded at the stool next to his.
I shook my head as I removed the apron, “I
already had breakfast.” I said. I had a glass of protein shake.
“You’re lying,” he glared at me, pain flashing in his eyes. “Please come and sit beside me. Let’s talk.”
I ignored him, my feet taking me to my bedroom, ready to hide. He followed me.
“Look at me, Bella.”
I did and noticed the bags underneath his eyes, remnants of pain behind those diamond eyes. I remembered the tears leaking from them after hearing the news.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and shook my head. “I am going to take a shower.”
“Do you want me to—”
“No, Ethan.”
I didn’t let him reply as I rushed to the washroom and turned on the shower, throwing up in the toilet. There goes my breakfast. I wiped the tears and flushed the toilet as I finally looked at myself in the mirror, hating what stared back at me. Sullen, gleamy eyes, pale face, and my cheekbones and jaw looked sharper than ever. Hollow. I stripped out of my clothes and whimpered, cupping my mouth when I saw my pale skin. Tears brimmed my eyes when I saw how thin my body looked.
This is what I did to myself.
Still silently crying, I turned on the warm water to shower, swallowing the sobs and whimpers that threatened to escape.
“Kiara? Can I please come in?” I heard Ethan’s voice, laced with worry.
Of course, he would be worried, Kiara. What did you think? You haven’t allowed him to touch you or even hold you whenever you were together, ignoring his kisses and sleeping in separate beds at night.
“No,” I said firmly, but my voice was weak. Just like my body, which can’t bear any child.
He sounded angry. “Yes, I am coming in.”
I turned off the shower and wrapped the towel around me even though I knew he was watching me.
“Kiara,” he said, his voice strained. He stood in front of the door when I tried to get out. “Talk to me, Bella. We haven’t talked about the miscarriage—”
I glared at him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But it happened, Kiara. You can’t ignore it and it’s hurting you. Please talk to me. Or anyone.”
“I don’t want to, Ethan. Please move.”
“Let me see you.”
He was begging.
I looked away and shook my head.
He stepped closer, “Why not?”
My fists tightened over the towel as I didn’t reply. I stilled when his warm hand landed on top of mine, “Please? I won’t . . . I won’t touch you, Bella, if that’s what you want, but please let me see you.”
I didn’t reply and squeezed my eyes shut when he gently pried the towel away from me. I turned around, hiding my face with my wet hair. I shrugged away from his hand when he tried to touch me, a tear escaping my eyes.
“I don’t want you to see me, Ethan. Or touch me, because I am ugly.” My voice broke when I said that. “I can’t even take care of my body or my . . . our children, Ethan. I can’t even look at myself as a woman—”
“Stop,” he hissed. He turned me around and grabbed my face. “Stop saying that. You are beautiful to me and you are my woman. I don’t want to hear you say that.” His thumbs wiped the tears as his eyes trailed down my body, still fueled with lust and adoration as if I had something worth looking at.
“Please stop looking at me, Ethan.”
“No, I want to show you how beautiful you are.”
He gently pressed his lips to mine, his large hands caressing my body sweetly. We kissed. He took me to bed, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Kissing my body, worshiping it with his hands and mouth. But I was too shaken up, and I cried and pushed him away. If I couldn’t love myself, then how could I ask him for it?
“Let me touch you, Bella. We won’t have sex.” He gently pried away my hands, his body covering mine, and pulled me to him. He kissed my hair and covered us both with blankets. I relaxed under his warm hold, my mind running through all the times we had spent together.
I slept in his arms when he whispered sweet things to me, promising me it would be alright and that we can try again. I didn’t reply.
When I woke up after a few hours, it was well past noon and Ethan was nowhere in sight. He had left me a note saying that he would be back before dinner and I should have the spaghetti he had made for me. My stomach growled at me as I changed into my sweatpants, and his t-shirt while I made my way into the kitchen.
After devouring my lunch, I asked Dr. Sabrina if she would have a session with me right now. I needed to talk to someone before Ethan came back. Anya and Katherine were busy with their work, and I felt that I would need to tell them personally.
“Kiara?”
“I’m in here!” I said from the guest room where I had been sleeping for the last week. It seemed cold and barren without Ethan’s musky cologne, like in his room.
He appeared in the doorway, smiling at me. “Hey.”
I managed a small smile, happy to see him. I patted beside me, wanting him to sit with me on the bed. “Can we talk?” I asked, my heart pounding in my ears.
Doctor Sabrina’s words rang in my mind, if you are interpreting and have negative thoughts, ask the person for the facts.
Ask him, Kiara.
Ethan nodded, settling beside me, his sandalwood scent wafting in my nose making me scrunch the sheets. “What did you want to talk about, Bella?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, forcing myself to be stronger for us. For him. And for me.
“I wanted to talk about the miscarriage.”
I watched Kiara struggle to be open with me, but I was proud of her for asking me to listen to her. Her hands clenched the sheets of the bed she had been sleeping on for the past week until this morning. I was relieved to know that she hadn’t harmed herself even though she had lost some weight. I knew whatever happened when I was gone had brought some kind of acceptance from her.
“Did you have a session while I was gone?” I asked, wanting to know if she had talked to someone about what had happened.
“I talked with my therapist,” Kiara nodded. “I wanted to ask you something, Ethan.”
When I waited for her question, I noticed how she fiddled with her hands, taking time to form the question. After taking a deep breath, she asked, “W-will you, I don’t know, um, leave me?”
Knowing how important this was to her, I bit back my question. “Never, sweetheart. I wouldn’t leave you. Can I ask why you asked that?”
Kiara sighed as if my answer relieved her. She met my eyes for a brief second before looking down on her lap. “I was worried that you would leave after . . . after I couldn’t keep the baby. I know it sounds stupid, but I am trying not to overthink or interpret those thoughts. Dr. Sabrina wanted me to clear those doubts by talking to you, so that is why I asked.”
I took her hand in mine, squeezing her palm. “Bella, I won’t leave you like that. Ever. I am glad you are talking to me.” I brushed my lips on her knuckles.
“Aren’t you offended? That I am asking you about all of this?”
“Not at all, sweetheart. I told you to talk to me whenever you are in doubt. I care about you more than having or not having a baby with you.”
A small chuckle left my lips when Kiara hugged me, her arms wrapping around my torso as I pulled her closer, breathing in her black vanilla and coconut scent. I sighed and ran my hand through her hair. Even though I knew she was having a hard time for the past week, I was relieved that she talked to me.
“Ethan,” she pulled away, her hands tightening over my t-shirt. “Thank you. For being here with me.”
My eyes softened at the raw emotions glinting in her warm chocolate eyes. I kissed the corner of her lips and said, “There isn’t anywhere else I would rather be.”
For the next few days, the tension between the two of us increased despite living under the same roof. Yes, we had talked about the miscarriage and we’re slowly growing together in our relationship, but we were also making sure that we were taking it slow this ti
me. There were kisses, but either of us stopped before it escalated to stripping each other out of our clothes. We slept on the same bed with clothes on and woke up cuddling but we didn’t get intimate with each other. I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to initiate it, even though it meant cold showers every morning.
The auction for her mother’s paintings was a week away, and I had to be in New York for a weekend for the shoot of an athletic brand. We both had worked on it together in the evenings as she had school in the morning. Even though I was not a volunteering coach in the school anymore, I still went to drop and pick her up. Sometimes surprising her with lunch and eating at her office table, enjoying myself when she ate with a flushed face remembering how we had tainted the desk.
“So what’s he like in real life?” Kiara asked, her curious eyes wide, “Is he rude and cold?”
“Khalid is . . . well, Khalid. Why are you so interested in him?” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Can you blame me? He is a prince. Brother of the sultan. His paintings are worth over a billion dollars, yet he is going to visit the auction. Why?”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “Because he is kind, Kiara. Even though we lived in the same apartment for a year, I know little about him. He is a private person.”
She hummed. “I would be private too if I was as famous as he is.”
Before I could argue with her, someone rang the doorbell to the house, and I wasn’t surprised when Liam opened the front door, peeking in. Kiara waved at him as he sheepishly hid the key to my house and entered the living room. But I was surprised when Anya followed him with Katherine waddling toward her friend, her one hand on her baby bump.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked when they made themselves at home. Anya was even putting takeout boxes of delicious sushi rolls on the kitchen island while Liam started pouring saké in shot glasses with a soda bottle for Katherine.
