by A. J. Wynter
“Already does,” Gunnar laughed.
He was right. I turned to look at the dogs and Moofie rested his head on my shoulder. “No, don’t do that.” I felt like the worst human being as I pushed the dog’s copper-colored face off my shoulder. Not because I didn’t want it there, but because if he kept it there, I knew I wouldn’t be able to bring him back to the shelter. But Moofie didn’t listen, and as soon as I turned to face forward, his chin, heavy and prickled with whiskers, was back on my shoulder.
Moofie found a stick immediately and nudged it into my hand. “Damn you,” I whispered. All four of us went swimming that day. It turned out the big furball was named Harry, and he wasn’t actually that big once all his fur was wet. After diving into the lake, I spent the rest of the hour throwing a stick for Moofie.
I didn’t think Gunnar’s car could smell any worse but was I wrong. The pineapple air freshener that hung from his rearview mirror was no match for the wet dog smell that lingered long after we returned the dogs to the shelter. I didn’t look back after I shut the chain-link door to Moofie’s cage. I also didn’t look at Gunnar. There was a reason I didn’t want to come here and walk the dogs. And it wasn’t because I was an asshole. It was because I knew that I would fall in love, like I had that afternoon, and have to leave a dog behind. It wasn’t fair, to me or Moofie.
“Where can I drop you?” Gunnar asked.
Before I could answer, my phone rang. “Hold on a second – it’s Floyd from the marina.”
The news from the mechanic was as good as it was going to get – my truck had been stitched back together. Floyd warned me that the repair could last two years or two minutes. “Take me to the marina, Jeeves.” I smiled. This week was just getting better and better. Faith and I were friends again, I had an open invite to the Dawson house for dinner anytime, and I wasn’t going to have to ride my bike with my hockey equipment balanced on my shoulder.
“That thing can’t be roadworthy,” Gunnar said.
“It’s a step up from the bike in the back.” I laughed. Gunnar was right. The truck wasn’t going to see any more road trips, but she was going to get me back and forth to the rink. Visions of a brand-new Tundra flashed through my mind. “Hey, Gunnar. If you get drafted, what kind of car will you buy?”
“What will you get?” Gunnar answered my question with a question, which was annoying.
“A Tundra, the top-of-the-line model.”
Gunnar nodded. “I could’ve guessed.”
“Let me guess what you’d get then.” I hated that I was predictable, but I grew up in a small town. High-end pickup trucks were held in the same regard as luxury cars.
Gunnar gave me a look that said he didn’t want to play the game, but conceded. “Fine. What would I buy?”
“You’ve got to feel guilty driving around this gas guzzler, so to make up for it, you’d get a Tesla.”
Gunnar chuckled.
“Tell me I’m right.”
“Leo, I love this car. It was my grandmother’s. She loved it. I’m going to keep this as long as I can.”
I screwed up my forehead. “You’re trying to tell me that if you get drafted by the New York Thunder, you’re going to roll up to your first practice… in this chunk of shit?”
Gunnar held up his index finger. “First things first, not if, but when I get drafted. Secondly, if you continue to badmouth this car, I’m going to pull over and leave you on the side of the road.” His voice was light, and I thought he was joking, but I didn’t want to test it.
“Leo, I have to ask you something. Two things actually.”
“Shoot.”
“Why do you want to make it to the National League?”
I didn’t think before I spoke. “That’s a stupid question.”
“Then answer it.” Gunnar navigated the car onto the gravel road leading to the marina. As we turned into the sun, we simultaneously pulled down our sun visors.
I took a move straight from Gunnar’s book. “Why do you want to make it?”
“I live for hockey. I dream about it. I don’t play hockey, it’s a part of who I am.”
I rolled my eyes. “The huge salary has nothing to do with it?”
“I’d play for free.”
I was starting to feel like Gunnar had things figured out, and I was the selfish prick who wanted all the wrong things. He was happy with his crappy car and wanted to make it to the National League for the sheer love of the sport. I liked playing hockey and some days I even loved it, but for the first time in my life I started to question why I wanted the same dream as every Laketownie who’d ever laced up a pair of skates.
“What was the second thing?” I didn’t want to answer his first question.
“Oh.” Gunnar stopped the car beside the big blue vinyl building. The sound of boats droned, and the smell of gas coming from the pumps wafted through the car’s open windows. “I was supposed to meet up with Faith yesterday, to give her the shoe.”
The damn shoe.
“Yeah?” I knew exactly where Faith had been. With me.
“She bailed on me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I heard that she was with you.”
So, the Laketown gossip mill was as powerful as ever. I wondered who had spotted us in her mom’s truck together. “She gave me a ride. That’s all.” I don’t know why I felt the need to justify why I was with Faith. Or why I felt the need to explain further. “We’re friends, that’s it.”
Gunnar looked at me. “Are you sure?”
“Positive, dude. Why would I have given you her shoe?”
He nodded. “Fair enough. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t stepping on your toes. I’m meeting her for a drink tonight.” He shook his phone and I wondered if that’s who he had been texting.
“Nope. You’re the only guy that’s almost good enough for her.” I debated on whether to continue. “Gunnar, she’s going through some… stuff right now.”
“Noted.” Gunnar bit his lower lip and I wondered what he was thinking.
I was starting to sweat. “Thanks for the ride.” I got out of the car and then leaned in the window. “You’re the only guy on the team I’d let near Faith but if I hear that you hurt her, I’ll fucking kill you.”
Gunnar’s eyes widened. “I won’t,” he said.
I believed him.
“Do you want me to wait here?” Gunnar shouted as I pulled my hockey bag from the trunk.
“Nah. I’ve got faith.” I slammed the trunk shut and patted it with my hand. “See ya.”
Gunnar gave a honk in response and the car crept away.
I’ve got faith. In my truck. That’s what I’d meant. Of course, that’s what I’d meant. It wasn’t a Freudian, or whatever, slip. We weren’t in a competition for Faith.
Eleven
Faith
The smell of fresh paint lingered in the Bunkie at the Yates estate. Mom and I stood in the middle of the main room, assessing the colors the painters had rolled onto the walls. In terms of design, Mom had a contemporary style, whereas mine was classic.
We hadn’t spoken for most of the day and the tension hung almost as heavily as the humidity in the air between us. It was about the hat. I knew that she was trying to protect me. I thought it meant that he had to be alive somewhere – Mom thought the opposite. The only way that hat would be off her husband’s head, was if he were dead.
“What do you think of the one on the right?” Mom had her hand on her chin. The painters had already left and had given us a fair quote – all we had to do was decide on a color.
“Way too saturated. I like the one in the middle.” I pointed to the off-white with the faintest hint of cottage blue.
“Boring. Half the great rooms on Lake Casper are painted that color.”
“There’s a reason. It’s perfect.”
Mom nodded. “It’s a good color, Faith, but I’ve been working with the Yates for a long time. If Bronwyn is going to be staying here, she’s going to want something
a touch more dramatic.”
Right. Bronwyn, the spoiled supermodel heir to the Yates Petroleum fortune.
“Well, with that in mind, it’s perfect.” The color was way too bold, extremely overstated, and bordered on gaudy.
Mom raised her eyebrows at me. “There’s no need to be harsh, Faye.”
To anyone else, my comment would’ve been innocuous, but a designer would know what I was inferring. I smiled and gave a half-hearted shrug. I’d never met Bronwyn Yates – we didn’t exactly run in the same circles – but I’d heard some horror stories about her. “She has a reputation.”
Mom held up her finger and I thought she was going to poke me with it. “You, of all people, should know the danger of town gossip. I’ve met Bronwyn and she’s lovely.”
“Fine,” I grumbled. Mom was right, the people who lived in Laketown had two hobbies: hockey and gossip. I wasn’t sure if Mom had heard one of the popular theories about Dad – that he’d left to go live with another family – but she’d have to have been living under a rock all this time to not have heard the whispers.
We locked up the Bunkie and got into the truck. The offending piece of headwear sat on the console between us. Mom sighed and picked it up. “I miss him so much.” She smiled and traced the lettering on the front.
“Me too.” I took the hat from her and put it on my head.
Mom started the truck, and we didn’t speak further, letting the memory of Dad sit with us until we were almost in town.
“What are you up to tonight?” Mom asked.
I hesitated. The night before, over lasagna and garlic bread, Mom had told Leo and me that searching for Dad wasn’t healthy – and to not do it. “Ummm.” I tried to think of a lie that wasn’t too egregious. “Leo and I are meeting for a drink.” It was a combination of two real things that were happening. I was meeting Leo to look for Reggie, and then meeting Gunnar for a drink – to get my shoe.
“Leo? Really? You two seem to be spending a lot more time together.” Mom didn’t hide her delight at the fact that Leonardo Rocci was back in our lives.
“Don’t get your hopes up, Mom. We’re just friends, and that’s tenuous at best.”
We pulled into the driveway, and Leo’s jalopy of a truck was already parked beside my car. “Oh, to be young and naïve again.” Even though Leo was out of earshot, Mom whispered. “I see the way he looks at you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” But I wondered if Mom saw something I didn’t. Leo seemed to look at me exactly the same way he had our whole lives. As if to prove a point, as we pulled up beside Leo’s rust bucket, he grinned, his eyes fucking twinkling. I tried to convince myself that the twinkle had always been there, since letting myself believe that Leo could be feeling the same way I felt about him was both scary and confusing.
“Hi, Leo!” Mom shouted. “You hungry?”
“What kind of question is that Mrs. D?”
I tapped my watch. Gunnar was picking me up at six. I’d felt bad for blowing him off when Leo and I were at the park. I couldn’t do it two days in a row.
“It looks like we’re in a rush,” Leo said.
Mom walked up to Leo and gave him a big hug with her free arm. The other held a box of tins of paint samples. “It’s nice to see you, honey. I’ll save you a plate.”
“Thanks, Mrs. D. Do you need a hand with anything?” He tried to take the box from her arm.
Mom swatted him away. “You two get going. Just be sure to have Faye back at a reasonable hour – she’s got work tomorrow.”
“Reasonable hour? You got it.” Leo winked at my mom.
“Oh, you.” Mom smiled and laughed at the same time. “Glad to see you haven’t changed, Leonardo.” She waved as she walked into the garage.
Leo looked at me and whispered. “Does your mom think we’re going on a date?”
“It sure looks like it.” I shook my head. “I didn’t want to tell her what we were doing, so she’s assuming the worst – that we’re dating.”
I meant it as a joke, but for a split second, Leo’s eyes looked hurt.
“Oh, God no. Gross. His smile was back. “Are we taking my car or yours?”
“Are you kidding? That truck doesn’t look like it’ll make it to the end of the driveway, let alone into town.”
“So little faith, Faith.”
When we were settled in my Mini, I turned to Leo. “What’s the plan?” I asked, fully expecting an ‘I dunno’ response.
“We need to find Reggie, approach him with kindness, and find out where he got the hat. Then we formulate a plan.”
“It’s basic, but I like it.” I started up the car, but as I shifted it into drive, Leo rested his hand on mine. “We should bring him some food.” He pushed my hand, returning the car to park. “Do you think Mel D would be okay with that?”
“She can’t know who it’s for.” I cautioned. “Mom doesn’t want me getting all worked up about the hat.”
“Hmmm. I don’t want to lie to your mom.”
“We can stop at the sandwich shop on the way.”
“Let’s roll.” Leo pointed to the end of the driveway like he was holding those orange cone things the tarmac guys use to direct airplanes. Leo had an easy way about him, and I didn’t know if it was because I’d known him for so long, or if that’s just who he was.
“Rolling.” I saluted.
“You’re the captain of this ship.” Leo clicked into his seatbelt. “I should be saluting you.”
“There’s no captain here. We’re a team.”
Leo nodded and we both squinted into the sun as we turned west.
“Leo, I have a spare pair of sunglasses in the glove box.” I reached over and opened it for him. He pulled out my Audrey Hepburn oversized black glasses and put them on. “Thanks.”
“I hate to admit it, but I think those look better on you than me.”
He shook his hair like he was in a shampoo ad. “I know.”
“Leo,” I paused.
“Yeah?”
You make me laugh and I’m so happy you’re back in my life.
That’s what I wanted to tell him.
“Thank you. For helping me. With this.”
My hand rested on the gear shifter and he rubbed it gently. “You’re welcome. But I’m not just doing it for you. I love your dad too, and we need to find him.”
It was a small detail, but I was so relieved that he didn’t refer to my dad in the past tense. Leo believed just as much as I did that Dad was still out there, somewhere.
“Let’s find him.” He squeezed my hand and then let go.
My hand tingled from his touch and I wondered if it was the touch of a friend, or something more.
We circled the park once, eyes trained on the bush. “There he is.” I could see the hint of his blue tent along the treeline past the gazebo. “Shit. I forgot to stop and get him some food.”
“I’ll come back and bring him some.” Leo got out of the car. “Right now, we need to talk to him.”
“I think I should go.” I pulled the hat out of my purse.
“Let me come with you.” He started to walk beside me.
“I’ll be fine, Leo. You scared him the other night. It’s daytime now. He’s harmless.”
Leo pursed his lips and looked like he wanted to argue with me, but slowed his pace. “I’ll be in the gazebo. Stay where I can see you.”
I took a deep breath. It was time to get some answers, but part of me was hesitant. What if they were the wrong answers? I looked back to where Leo was standing, leaning up against the white pillar of the gazebo. He nodded, and with his protective watch, I strode through the grass. It was time.
I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking as I walked toward Leo. It wasn’t just my hands, my knees felt like rubber. Leo leaped over the set of stairs and was at my side as I fell to one knee.
“Faith,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”
The gazebo looked like it was tilting.
“I’ve got you,
” Leo repeated. “Can you stand?” I had slumped into his chest and his arms were the only thing stopping my body from crumpling into the grass.
“No.” I gasped. “I need a minute.”
Leo eased me to the ground and shifted so his body was behind mine. His chest felt like a solid oak chair, one that would hold me up no matter what.
He didn’t ask any questions. He seemed to know exactly what I needed – to be held. I focused on my breathing, noticing that it had synced up with Leo’s, his chest rising and falling behind mine, his breath warm on my ear.
“He’s alive,” I whispered.
Leo’s chest stopped moving and then I felt his entire body sag. “What? What did Reggie say?”
I turned so that I was facing Leo. I wasn’t quite ready to stand up. Leo spread his legs in a v shape, and I sat cross-legged between them. I had forgotten how flexible an athlete he was. He held my hands and rubbed the backs with the pads of his thumbs. He was patient. He was waiting for me to be ready to speak.
I took a deep breath. “Reggie got the hat from a friend of his named Slim.” Then the words tumbled out, faster than I’d ever spoken in my life. “He’d picked up a man hitchhiking a month ago, wearing this hat.” I adjusted the brim of the hat on my head.
“A month ago?” Leo’s eyes went wide.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t believe it either. “It was out past Corstead. His friend said the guy wearing it looked homeless. He dropped him off on some back road and then the guy just disappeared into the bush. He forgot this hat in the truck.”
“Corstead?” Leo said. “That’s what, seven hours from here?”
“All this time.” There was little emotion in my voice despite what I’d just discovered. I think that I was in shock. “He’s only been seven hours away.”
“Faith.” Leo was still holding my hands. “How do we know it was your dad?”
“It has to be. Don’t you believe it, Leo?” I searched his eyes. Was I crazy?
“It’s him,” Leo said quietly. “We’re going to find him.”
