by Harley Stone
“Clear!”
The team was still trying to revive Jaime as they loaded him onto the stretcher and wheeled him to the ambulance. Stunned, I stood in the living room, clinging to a little girl whose sobs ripped apart my heart.
Spade pushed his way out of the chaos and his gaze landed on mine. Anger, frustration, sorrow all swam in his dark eyes. A single tear ran down his cheek and he angrily wiped it aside. Then his gaze dropped to Rosalie and his expression turned tortured.
***
Spade
Uncle Jaime hadn’t fallen. He’d been asleep in his chair and startled awake by a night terror. Mom heard him hollering about bombs going off, and by the time she made it into the den, he was flat on his face on the floor. The stress had been too much and he’d had a heart attack.
The week following his death was a blur. Jessica and I spent most of our time at my parents’ house hanging out with my family as I tried to help my parents plan the funeral. It was surreal. I couldn’t believe my uncle was gone and knew if I thought about it for too long, I’d go crazy. So instead, I focused on the tasks at hand and tried not to get swept up in the emotion.
Jessica was amazing. I never doubted that she would be, but she took time off work and stayed by my side throughout most of the ordeal. She never nagged or made me try to talk about my feelings or any of that bullshit. She was just there for me. Every night she distracted and comforted me with her body.
Every morning she gave me the will to get out of bed.
We held the funeral on a Saturday afternoon. The heavy gray sky threatened rain, and the temperature had dropped, giving us our first hint of autumn. I thought about wearing slacks and a button-up, but since we’d be lying a Vietnam veteran down to rest with full honors, I pulled my dress blues out of the back of the closet.
I kept my old Army dress uniform protected in a big green garbage bag, and I hadn’t brought it out once since I left the service. As I put it on now, I looked in the mirror, surprised at how much different I looked in it now. The arms and chest were a little tight from where I’d filled out, but it still fit. In fact, it probably felt better now than when I’d first received it because I’d learned about the responsibility it carried.
My eyes were full of duty, knowledge, and loss.
Now, I looked like a soldier.
Jessica’s hungry gaze swept over my body, basically eye-fucking me as I stepped out into the living room of our apartment. “Daaamn. I had no idea you had that hiding in your closet.” She circled around, taking in all my assets.
“I feel like a piece of meat,” I joked.
“Not just any meat, you’re a Grade A Prime Beefcake.”
She knew this day would be difficult for me, and she was doing her best to bring a little levity into my life, just like she’d been doing all week. I appreciated the hell out of her for her efforts. “You just keep me around to be your arm candy, don’t you?”
“No. I was first attracted to you because I knew you’d make delicious arm candy. I keep you around because of the way you can roll your tongue.”
Laughing, I grabbed a hold of her waist and pulled her against me. She was wearing a long-sleeved black dress that came almost to the floor, but the V-shaped neckline exposed enough skin for me to attack. I rolled my tongue against her skin and she laughed, squirming out of my hands and away from my tickling beard.
Precious moments like these made all the shitty times bearable.
Uncle Jaime’s service was held at a large Catholic church. We drove Jessica’s car, and as we parked in the attached lot, the unmistakable roar of motorcycles drew my attention. Link knew about my uncle’s death, but I hadn’t requested the club’s presence or even invited them to attend. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them there, but I hadn’t even thought about it. I’d had too much on my plate to think about much of anything.
Still, they came.
Every single one of them.
Link and Havoc rode in front, followed by Wasp, Eagle, Specks, Sage, Flint, Morse, Tap, Zombie, Brick, Buddha, Bull, Rabbit, Stocks, and Frog. Jake, Tank, and Buffalo, the three active old guys, had even saddled up to come along. Bringing up the rear was Hound, a brother who’d been so injured in the service he could barely sit straight to ride.
But he was there. They all were.
American flags waving from the backs of their bikes, they circled around the parking lot before parking in an organized, perfectly straight line. They were my brothers and Uncle Jaime’s veteran peers and they showed him every respect by showing up and representing.
I didn’t cry at the sight, but it sure stung the hell out of my eyes.
Jessica squeezed my hand. I met her gaze to see that she was crying hard enough for both of us. “I understand now,” she said. “The club initiation was well worth it.”
Truer words had never been spoken. I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed her knuckles. “Yes. It was.” Uncle Jaime’s PTSD might have caused him to live alone, but he was sure as hell surrounded by friends and family now. I wondered if the ornery old bastard was somewhere laughing at the irony of it all.
The club wasn’t the only one who showed up for the funeral. Jessica’s family also turned out to pay their respects, and I finally got to meet her parents and shake her father’s hand. Watching Jessica hold her adorable little niece made me think about how beautiful she’d be with our baby in her arms.
It was strange the way death made people think about life.
After the funeral and the reception, everyone but immediate family headed out. Jessica and I stayed behind to help my parents and siblings clean up the mess and get the food all covered and ready to transport. I was wiping down one of the tables when my mom pulled me aside.
“I want you to know that your Padre and I are proud of you, Tonio,” she said, surprising me. “I know we don’t say it enough, but we are. Your Padre can be stubborn and foolish, but he wants what’s best for you. We both do.” She handed me an envelope with my name scrawled across it. “Your tio left this for you.”
The once sealed envelope had been opened. Flicking back the ripped flap, I asked, “Did you read this?”
“I’m your madre. Of course, I read it.”
Of course, she had. Chuckling, I pulled out the single sheet of paper and unfolded it.
Antonio,
If you’re reading this, I’m worm food. I’m sure you’re sad and all that bullshit, but you need to get over it, because you’ve got shit to do. I have a $500,000 life insurance policy. All the information for it is in the box by my chair. I’m leaving $100,000 to Javier to buy you out of his goddamn company and get him off your back. If he can’t replace you for $100k, he’s a shitty businessman and needs to hang up his fucking hammer.
The other $400,000 is going to you for cost of living while you’re in school, and any school expenses your GI Bill doesn’t cover.
There. By kicking the bucket, I’ve taken away all your lousy fucking excuses. Don’t be a pussy. Enroll your dumb ass in school and become the goddamn man you want to be. You were never meant to cower in your old man’s shadow.
Tio.
“Is this real?” I asked, reading the letter again.
“Yes. I found the insurance information and I’ve already started the claim. You and your father will each receive a check.
“A check for four-hundred thousand?”
“Yes.
My hands shook. I’d set that dream aside so long ago, I couldn’t even imagine revisiting it. It had always been a dream—up in the clouds—and I lived firmly on the ground.
But now… with the money Uncle Jaime had left me… I felt like I was floating up to join it.
“He loved you,” Mom said. “We love you too, Tonio. Go to school. Become an architect and build those buildings you used to draw all the time as a child.”
Emotion choked me. I couldn’t believe Uncle Jaime had done this for me. More than that, I couldn’t believe my mother was giving me her blessing. “What
about Padre?”
She patted my shoulder. “I’ll handle your padre. You enroll.”
It was all so much. “I… I can’t wait to tell Jessica.”
Mom’s smile filled with warmth. “That’s how you know she’s the one, Tonio. You want to share all your time and news with her first.”
I was still reeling from Uncle Jaime’s letter. “Madre, I’m going back to school.”
“I know.” Her smile only widened. “And you’re going to marry that girl and give me grandbabies. You can do both. You are a Fernandez, and we work hard for the things we want. You want her, don’t you?”
“Yes. But I can’t even think about that right now.” Mom was fucking relentless. “We just buried Tio, and this is a lot to take in.”
“You’re right. Go. Take Jessica and get out of here, you have enough going on. We’ll finish up.”
Still in shock, I pulled Jessica aside and led her to the car, without even bothering to say goodbye to my family because I didn’t think I could handle one more thing today. I just needed to be alone with the woman I loved.
“What’s wrong?” she asked as soon as we were in the car.
“I…” I had no idea what to say. Emotions churned within me. Uncle Jaime had left me four-hundred grand to chase my dream. The money he’d left my dad, along with the help of mom, would finally break me out of my obligation to the family business. I was free to go back to school. I felt excited and scared, and then guilty because we’d just buried my uncle and I should be ‘sad and all that bullshit.’ Chuckling at Uncle Jaime’s note, I shook my head. “Please just give me a minute.”
“Of course.” She patted my arm.
When we arrived back at the apartment, I took her hand and led her straight into her bedroom. Everything in my life had been thrown into the air, and I needed to ground myself before I could figure out where it all went now. I needed control, so I could deal with my goddamn thoughts and emotions, and I knew the best way to get it.
“I need you, Jess.” My voice sounded raw and desperate in my own ears, but I didn’t give a single fuck.
Her chest rose and fell with a breath as she studied me. Eyes darkening with lust, I could tell she caught my drift. “Take what you need.”
I loved the way she handed over control to me so completely. Her trust was intoxicating. The fact she got off on this every bit as much as I did only made her sexier. Beyond grateful for the gift that was standing before me, I let my gaze drift over the curves of her body, devouring each delicious one. “Strip. I don’t want anything keeping me from what’s mine.”
She liked the command in my voice. I could tell by the way she shivered as she grabbed the hem of her dress. Holding my gaze, she slowly tugged the fabric over her head and tossed it aside before releasing the clasp on her bra and letting the straps tumble down her arms. Where she’d once felt shy and uncertain, she was now empowered and daring as she confidently stepped out of her little lace panties and kicked them aside.
“Shoes on or off?” she asked.
The black heels she wore were sexy as fuck. “On. Definitely on.”
She flashed me a knowing smile that went straight to my cock. Her creamy pale skin called to me, begging to be marked by my hand.
“Fuck. You’re so damn hot, Jess.”
She licked her lips. “What do you want me to do, soldier?”
I glanced down at my service uniform and decided to keep it on for now.
Over the past several weeks, our supply of BDSM implements had grown. I went to the box we stored in the closet and retrieved a spreader bar and a paddle. I briefly considered the blindfold, but if seeing me dressed like this turned Jessica on, I wasn’t about to take that from her.
“Get on the bed. Face down, ass up.”
She assumed the position, and I fastened cuffs on her wrists and ankles before connecting them to the spreader bar. Naked, restrained, slightly uncomfortable, she was helpless before me. I don’t know why it was so hot to see her like that, but I fucking loved it. Unzipping my pants, I freed my rock-hard cock from my boxer briefs and stroked myself in front of her.
Her eyes dilated as she watched me.
“You like that?”
She nodded. “You can put it in my mouth if you want.”
I chuckled. “Are you telling me what I can and can’t do, babe?”
She smirked. “Maybe. Depends. Will you punish me for it?”
Oh, she was asking for it, all right. Picking up the paddle, I turned it over in my hand a couple of times before giving her a hard smack. She yelped and a beautiful red mark colored her fine pale ass.
“You like that?” I asked.
“Yes. Very much so.”
The glistening of her pussy confirmed the truth of her words. I smacked her ass again, leaving behind another red mark. Now I could smell her arousal. I wanted nothing more than to fuck her senseless, but I refused to give in. This was about regaining control, and I’d need to push us both to get there.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy a taste.
Kneeling on the bed behind her, I licked her from clit to ass, savoring her unique, delicious honey. She moaned, and I almost buried my tongue in her pussy. I loved bringing her pleasure but knew it would be more intense if I waited. Instead, I swatted her ass again for tempting me to make her come. Then I used the paddle on her back, arms, and legs, painting her creamy white canvas with streaks of red.
“What’s your safe word?” I asked.
“Rationality.” Her voice was husky with lust. “But I’m a long way from that.”
“Good.” I smacked her pussy with the paddle.
She yelped and then moaned. “God, Antonio.”
Loving her reaction, I did it again. Then I soothed the sting with my tongue, lapping up her juices as she moaned and tried to push against my face to take my tongue deeper.
“You want something inside of you?” I asked.
“Yes. Please.”
Returning to the box in the closet, I selected a butt plug and slathered it in lube. When I returned, I lined it up at her small puckered entrance as my free hand found her clit. As I toyed with her sensitive bundle of nerves, I slowly eased the butt plug into her asshole. By the time it was fully in, she was dripping wet and breathing heavily.
“Please?” she begged. “Please fuck me, Antonio.”
Since we’d both been tested and she was on birth control, condoms were a thing of the past. Grateful that I could skip that step, I lined my naked cock up with her entrance, rubbing against her slick folds. She felt so damn good like this.
“Please? I want more. I need to feel you.”
I loved her like this. Helpless, trembling, begging for what I could give her. Wet heat coated the head of my cock as I pushed in a little deeper, still teasing, still reminding her who was in charge.
“God.” She pushed against me. “Please give it all to me.”
Her pussy was trying to swallow my cock, and I couldn’t resist her any longer. Finally, I let loose and plunged into her. She gasped and clenched her fists around the spreader bar.
“Is that what you want, babe?”
“Yes. More. Please.”
I slowly pulled out and drove into her again, and the rest of the world melted away. She’d handed me the reins, and I took control, grounding myself a little more with each thrust. The plug in her ass pushed against my cock, making her pussy seem impossibly tighter. I almost lost control but breathed through it and picked up the pace. I fucked her hard through three orgasms before I finally let myself find release. Since I didn’t want to pull out yet, I removed her butt plug and reached behind me to blindly release her cuffs before turning us both onto our sides.
As we rested in a tangled mess of sweaty limbs, all the shit I’d been struggling with started popping into place. It no longer felt overwhelming and unattainable. I could do it all. Uncle Jaime’s death had made me realize how short and fleeting life was, and I knew I didn’t want to waste any more
of it.
“I’m going back to school to be an architect, babe,” I said, caressing Jessica’s side. “And I’m marrying you.”
“To be a…. Wait. What?” She whipped her head around to stare at me. “Aren’t you supposed to ask me?”
“You told me to take what I need, so I’m taking you. You’re what I need.”
Her eyes softened. “I love you, Antonio.”
I bent to brush a kiss against her lips. “I know. I love you, too.”
Jessica
Four Months Later
IT was the end of January, and the first day of spring term. Apparently, Spade had earned his associate’s degree while in the service, so now he was working on earning a Bachelor of Arts in Architectural Studies at the University of Washington. I couldn’t have been prouder of him. He was so excited he couldn’t sleep last night, so we’d had another all-night sex-athon, and today we were both dragging.
“More coffee?” I asked, holding up the pot.
He raised his cup. “Hit me.”
Smiling, I refilled both our mugs before plating breakfast. “You know, you have nothing to be worried about.” I sat beside him. “If you need any tutoring, my rates are extremely reasonable.”
He arched an eyebrow at me before staring at the ring on my finger. “Your rate was exorbitant, and I already paid it.”
Gasping, I smacked him on the arm. “Exorbitant?”
Chuckling, he shrugged. “But worth it.”
“You’re really putting the dick in ridiculous today, aren’t you?”
He waggled his eyebrows at me. “Want me to put the dick in something else?”
He was hopeless. And mine. The ring on his finger and the marriage certificate hanging in our living room proved it. For better or for worse. For smartass comments or horny moments. “You better keep the dick away from those little college hussies,” I replied before taking a bite of my pancakes.
He grinned. “I like this possessive, jealous side of you. It’s hot.”
