by Shey Stahl
Behind the drum riser now, Cruz beats on the drums, but his attention is on his lead singer, wondering what’s going to happen next. Revel isn’t hearing Patrick’s pleas though. He manages to shake him off, or maybe Patrick gives up, I’m not entirely sure. Maybe he thinks Breckin deserves what’s about to happen when he shouts at Revel.
“You think I’m scared of you?” Breckin snaps, his eyes focused on Revel. “C’mon, Rev. You know you want to hit me because I got that cherry before you did.”
I twist around, glaring at Breckin. “You’re an idiot! Stop provoking him.” The cherry remark doesn’t even register at first, and when it does, I suddenly want Revel to beat the crap out of him.
Sensing a fight is about to break out, Ben steps toward me, his large arms holding me protectively to his side as he drags me from the stage. “Come with me.”
“I can’t. Let me go.” I struggle against his grasp only to have him hold me tight and block my view of Revel. “I have to stop this.” Despite wanting Revel to give Breckin what he has coming, I know this outcome and it ends with Revel in trouble. Worse than he’s ever been before.
“You need to get out of here is what you need to do,” Ben whispers, his dark eyes narrowing in on me in warning. “Just stay back. He’s not in his right mind. There’s no way he’ll listen to you now.”
Yeah, I know. I don’t see what starts it, or who, but Breckin’s shoved against the drums and so it begins. All I know is there’s years of pent-up frustration between those two and it’s coming out with every blow until it becomes something more, something unstoppable, something deadly if not stopped. I can’t let this happen. I can’t let him destroy his career over something like this. Not over Breckin. Not over me.
“Please, Ben,” I beg, twisting in his embrace to face him. “Let me go! Do something, stop him!” I point to them on the ground. “You’re a security guard, stop him! Arrest him or something.”
His eyes shift from me to Revel. He doesn’t move. “Just let me get you out of here. Your dad will fire me if I don’t get you out of here.”
There’s a crash behind Ben, but I can’t see around him to see who or what it was. I stand my ground and shove against Ben’s chest. “He won’t fire you, Ben. You work for me and I’m not leaving.”
I’m able to peek around Ben to see the guys in the corner of the stage. Fighting his way from beneath Revel, Breckin has no chance at winning this, but tries to land a few punches. Breckin gets to his feet. “Come on!” Breckin instigates. “Get up! Come on! Show them the real Revel Slade.”
Silently, but with a deadly glare on his enemy, Revel stands, using the edge of the drum riser to steady himself, his hair bloody and wild, just like his eyes. Sweeping the back of his hand across his mouth, he smiles bitterly at Breckin. They collide again, rolling around on the stage—fans, security, other performers yelling for them to stop.
Fear weighs heavily inside my chest, my heart pumping wildly. Revel’s going to kill him if I don’t do something now. “Stop them!” I scream, only to have no one listen to me. Nameless faces watch my reaction to the scene before me, yet do nothing to stop it. How can they want this? Easy. They want to see this side of Revel. The untouchable monster they knew existed deep within the man behind the mic.
Controlled by the alcohol in his veins, and no doubt drugs, Revel doesn’t stop. One brutal hit after another. Drawing his fist back, Revel drives it hard into Breckin’s face and if it hadn’t been so loud in the venue, you could have heard the bone breaking in Breckin’s face, along with Revel’s hand.
I think they realize how bad it is when Breckin stops fighting back, his body limp on the ground. Security manages to pull Revel off him, as Patrick finally pins Revel by the backs of his legs. And though he’s trapped, Revel remains wild, fighting against them to get away. “Get off me!” he screams, struggling and thrashing around like a child who’s being held down by their parents. “Let me the fuck up!”
Now that he’s not moving around and contained for the most part, I’m able to get closer to Revel. I gasp at the sight of him. His face is red, his mouth and hands bleeding. Blood soaks the front of his shirt but his eyes—those cold blue eyes—they scare the hell out of me. I’ve never seen him so angry, so villain-like. I don’t know this guy, but then again, had I ever really known him or what he was capable of? Our eyes catch and he pushes against Patrick. He lets him up only to have Revel remain on the ground, this time propped against a speaker, his head in his hands. Police are standing next to him, their guard up, blocking the view from the audience. Breckin’s in the corner, unrecognizable, lying flat on his back, blood gushing from his face as paramedics rush to him. He’s. . . limp and lifeless to those tending to him.
Holy. Shit.
My head swims with so many scenarios that I can’t keep up with them to decipher any. All I know is this is bad, really freaking bad, and Revel’s in huge trouble.
The tour managers take the stage telling everyone the concert is over. They boo and shout, chanting Revel’s name, refusing to leave. Security begins to usher them to the exits over the loudspeakers.
It’s amongst the commotion that Revel’s eyes find mine, hurting, pleading. I take a deep breath just as he releases one. “I’m sorry,” he says, his words rough, his eyes glassy and red. “I’m so fucking sorry, Red.” The sorrow of his face gives me a head rush, but underneath the apology, he’s not the Revel I know. This guy, he’s out of control and unstable.
Wanting to comfort him, I take a step toward him only to have Liz block me, her hands shaking, her eyes wide and alert. “No. Don’t go over there. They’re going to arrest him. Just leave him be. I’ll see if you can talk to him outside.”
Leave him be? How can I? “This is really bad, Liz,” I say to her, my voice trembling and wavering.
She nods. “I know.”
With tears in my eyes, I catch sight of Hensley as she comes off stage. As she’s passing by me, she mumbles, “I told you so.”
I want to punch her. I bet she put Breckin up to that. But I’m also not going to give her the benefit of my reaction.
Bella finds me next, her hands on my arms, pulling me toward her. I cry against her, unable to stop the emotions from consuming me.
It’s an hour later when I’m able to see Revel outside the venue. I call his name, but he doesn’t turn around and keeps walking with the two cops beside him. Though he’s not in handcuffs, they’re not letting him go.
Wiping tears from my eyes on my forearm, I call out for him again. “Revel!”
Beside the cop car, Revel finally twists toward me. He watches me the entire time I’m walking toward him. The closer I am to him, the worse he looks. He’s swollen and wounded, with cuts scattered across his flushed cheeks, one hand in a bandage.
We stand in a parking lot outside the stadium, tucked between tour buses and the police cars. Red and blue lights from the ambulance reflect off the snow banks and give the night an eerie feeling. Revel sighs, a curse falling from his bloody lips as he holds a cigarette with unsteady hands. “I should kill that piece of shit.” He flicks the cigarette butt toward the snow-covered ground. His body shifts to lean against the side of the cop car, but he looks at me, wounded, his face sad. Still, even underneath the sadness, there’s a draw to him, a gravity only he possesses and I can’t ignore. He burns so brightly, yet lurks in the shadows. “Did you want to kiss him?”
“What?” I gasp, my heart thudding painfully. “Have you lost your mind? Right. You have. No, I didn’t. He kissed me, and it shocked me. Before I could react, in front of everyone for that matter, you freaked out.”
“How did you expect me to react seeing him touch you like that?”
“Not like an insane person.”
He cracks a sarcastic smile and I hate the way it makes my heart jump. “Then you don’t know me very well.”
“Clearly. I don’t think I know you at all because you refuse to let me.”
His stare slides to mine, and it�
�s deep and thought-provoking. I meet his eyes, bloodshot and betrayed. “I just. . . I saw him touch you like that, the fear in your eyes, and I reacted. I don’t even remember hitting him.”
Deep down, it’s a warning. One I should take notice of. Everything Revel has ever said and done has been a warning, one that I ignored because I saw through the image he projected of himself and the man behind the star power. In many ways, he’s still a boy, still lost and living a life in the blinding spotlight.
His cold blue eyes find mine. “I fucked up, Princess.”
I nod. “You did. This is bad, Revel. It’s really bad.”
He nods, his eyes on the snowy pavement below our feet. “I know.”
I push out a heavy breath, feeling like I need to clear up the interaction between me and Breckin. “I didn’t want him to kiss me.”
Revel draws in a breath, remorsefully shaking his head like he wants to forget. “I didn’t mean to hurt you by what I did earlier today, but then again, I did.” His eyes find mine again. “It’s what I do. I hurt everything and everyone around me to keep from hurting myself.”
Surprised at his admission, I push off the side of the bus and step toward him. “I know that.” I stare at him to make sure he can see the truth in my intentional words.
“Don’t ever let anyone take anything from you. Especially me.”
The best things in life are never planned. It’s the unpredictable that makes it worth it. There’s no explaining or rationalizing emotion when you’re in love. It’s believing, remembering, and making moments that last a lifetime. My life has always been planned out for me since I was three, and those plans were all I ever knew, all I relied on to get by. It’s the only way I survived eighteen years in the spotlight. But this entire relationship with Revel had been unexpected and brutally unpredictable. And maybe that’s what made this a messed-up version of perfection. Falling for him had been easy without outside influence or expectations. Our connection, unfortunately, is unstable. A dangerous obsession that’s destroying him. It’s the only way Revel Slade knows how to love someone, something Hensley had warned me about in the beginning. He is a crazy, willful, incorrigibly passionate person who can’t draw a line and say don’t cross it, because he will every time.
But it’s right before the fall, emotionally, that he takes all I have left to give him. Here’s where things change. Again. And the truth I thought I knew becomes blurred.
Having missed the fight inside, my dad comes storming outside the venue with two security guards trailing close behind. He jabs his finger in the air at Revel. “You stay away from her!”
“Why?” Revel chuckles. “Ya gonna offer me two mill this time?”
Two mill? What’s that have to do with anything? And then it hits me. He offered him money. He had to have. Why would he have said that if he didn’t?
I turn to my dad, my arms crossed over my chest as I shake from the chill in the air. “What’s he talking about?”
Dad scoffs, his eyes narrowing at Revel. “Nothing.”
I get right in my dad’s face as Bella and Liz come running out of the building with Cruz. “Bullshit. What is he talking about?”
Still no answer.
“Go ahead, Jory,” Revel snorts, leaning causally into the side of the patrol car. “Tell her what she’s worth to you.”
You know that saying, I saw red? I’ve never truly understood it until now. Until my anger became so blinding the rush of blood to my head is all I see.
In an instant, my vision blurs with the pounding in my temples.
Dad’s posture stiffens, his breathing harsh, words pushed through his clenched jaw. “I’m not having this conversation with you out here.” He has the nerve to grab me by the elbow and yank me away from Revel. “Let’s talk in private.”
Revel steps forward, his body tense and rigid. “Take your hand off her,” he warns, only to have the officer standing next to him pull him back.
“It’s time to go,” the officer tells him, opening the door to the patrol car.
Revel nods, breathing in heavily. He knows he’s in enough trouble, but he doesn’t break his eyes from my dad. “You tell her the goddamn truth right now, or I will.”
Dad swallows, his breathing and every muscle in his body rigid. He leans into me, whispering, “I offered him money not to tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“About Hensley.”
I knew. Tears sting my eyes. I can’t even look at my father. It’s one of those moments when voices actually fade and I think I might pass out from anger. It’s that overwhelming. I breathe in deeply, my entire body shaking. “Leave.”
“Tay,” Dad warns, “you need to stay away from him. Please get in the car with me and I’ll explain everything to you.”
“You should have explained it to me in the beginning, before you felt the need to offer him money not to tell me.” I turn to Revel. “Did you take it? Is that what this is about between us? You used me to get back at him for fucking your girlfriend?”
Revel snorts, disgust in his eyes. “What the fuck do you think?”
The cop pulls at him, refusing to let go of him when Revel attempts to step toward me. I don’t go to him. I don’t even think I’m breathing at this point. Am I? “I don’t know, Revel. I don’t know anything at this point.”
Revel doesn’t look at me as he lowers himself inside the cop car. “It wasn’t because of him,” he mumbles. I’m given the gratification of having him tell me the truth, but his expression is anything but loving. He’s shut down, to me, to the world, and I’m not entirely sure where this leaves us now.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
TAYLAN
Lies hurt people, and the truth comes out eventually. I’ve always believed that and while I’ve been known to tell a little white lie here and there, none were ones that would destroy someone’s life or hurt them.
My dad, he did both.
The next morning, the news of the fight and Revel’s arrest hits every media outlet only to be shadowed by my dad, CEO of Ash Music Group, admitting to having an affair with Hensley Shaw. Publicly. Shocking? No, you knew that was coming, didn’t you?
Did I?
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, even before last night. I saw the warning signs. Here’s the thing though. Whenever there’s a shocking headline regarding a sexual scandal, it’s never the man’s reputation that’s compromised. He’s never labeled the homewrecker. The finger will always be pointed at the woman. Okay, not always, but the majority of the time she’s going to be the woman who wears the scarlet letter.
And for Hensley, that’s exactly what happens when the truth comes out that she fucked the CEO of Ash Records, got pregnant with his baby, and then lost it. Though I didn’t know she had gotten pregnant, I knew the truth about their affair would eventually come out because karma, that bitch always comes back.
What I don’t see coming is my name tied into it. Me doing drugs, drinking, all of it, tied to what they think is me spiraling out of control because of my “daddy issues,” as they put it.
TMZ’s headline reads:
HAS THE PRINCESS OF POP HIT ROCK BOTTOM WITH THE ROCK GOD?
The twenty-one-year-old pop star was reportedly seen on Revved’s tour bus after the news broke about her straying father looking all sweaty and touchy with the bass guitarist, Hardin Helms. Is the princess taking off her church robe to take a ride on the darker side?
Not only had someone taken a picture of me on his bus, but they blew it out of perspective and had the timeline completely off.
It’s not Revel’s fight or Breckin being laid up in the hospital that’s the top of the news headlines. It’s me, reportedly doing drugs like I’m destroying my image.
“This is ridiculous!” I tell Leddy and Bella, who are patiently letting me vent. “Why am I the bad guy? I don’t even remember taking that crap.”
Leddy assures me it will blow over and I notice someone enter the room, the door closing softly
behind them. Bella jumps up from the table we’re sitting at and disappears into the foyer. “What are you doing here?”
My stomach flops and flips, my heart thudding painfully in my chest as I wait for the gruff voice I think is going to follow. Only it’s not him.
“I just want to talk to Taylan for a minute,” Hensley says softly.
“What makes you think she wants to talk to you?”
“I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t, but I’d really like the chance to explain.”
Bella straight up laughs in her face. “Maybe you should—”
“It’s fine, Bells,” I say, loud enough for them to hear me in the foyer of the hotel suite.
I don’t care to see Hensley ever again. Nor do I care to see Breckin, but unfortunately, I suppose I can’t have everything. I wave Leddy and Bella into the other room, knowing damn well they’ll still be listening, but I give Hensley privacy, for what reasons I’m not sure other than I’m too nice.
Hensley looks awful when she comes around the corner. Her eyes are swollen, red, and mascara-smudged, and her usual short pink and purple is hair hidden behind a beanie hat. She starts immediately by apologizing, and then adds, “I knew he was married and I knew the connections he had, but he wasn’t the CEO of Ash Music Group to me. He made me feel better than I was. I’m not going to portray myself as the victim here, but please try to understand my reasoning.”
I don’t look at her. Instead, I stare out the window overlooking the snowbound mountain city I want out of. “I will never understand your reasoning.”
“You can’t, because you’ve never been in my situation. You haven’t had to work for anything your entire life. Me? I had no family, no connections, but I had a voice and words that screamed inside my head. If it hadn’t been for Revel, I’d still be on the streets.”
Anger roots deep inside my chest. She’s basically insinuating I’ve never had to work for anything in my life, and in reality, I’ve worked harder than she can ever imagine just to live up to an image crafted by the one man who has let us both down. Sometimes that’s harder because the letdown is way worse. I think about what she’s saying and realize that everyone has disappointed someone they care about. We all mess up, we all let people down and make mistakes. It doesn’t mean we’re inadequate or inept. We’re imperfectly human.
