by JA Low
“I get it, Issy, I do.”
“Just don’t go falling in love with someone, okay. I don’t think I can handle that.” This makes him laugh as I sniffle.
“No one could ever compare to you.” I really hope he means that because this summer is going to suck knowing he’s free and single to do whatever he wants. “Remember, Issy, it’s your last year of high school, you should enjoy it as well.” A frown falls across my face. “Um, you realize that our have fun over the summer agreement works both ways, don’t you?” He looks at me with concern across his face. As if anyone could compare to Finn Connolly. “Isla, you can date other people as well during the summer.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think my chances are great here. All the guys at school are idiots.” This makes him laugh.
“Maybe things will change.”
“Maybe.” But I know it won’t.
“I have to go pack, I’ll see you later won’t I, one last time?” I nod, I wouldn’t miss having Finn’s hands on my body one last time for anything.
Two weeks later
“Oh my God, have you seen the photos of them on Myspace?” Claire asks. I shake my head, I’ve been deliberately not looking at it, I know it’s only going to lead to heartbreak. Claire knows about Finn and I, she was our cover for some of the times we’d meet up. Of course, I had to pay her in time with Christian. Any chance I got I would push them together, until eventually she was able to lose her virginity to him. Apparently, best night of her life, but now she kind of stalks them online.
“I don’t want to see them.”
“Issy, you need to. Chad Evans tried to crack onto you at Cindy Jacobs’ party on the weekend. Chad fucking Evans, hottest guy in school and you said no. No! How the hell could you let the female population down like that?” She gives me a look.
“I’m not ready. It’s only been two weeks.”
“Well Finn isn’t waiting around. He’s taking full advantage of what Miami has to offer.” She turns the computer screen around and there in color are photos of Finn with girls draped all over him. Photos of him kissing them, even one of someone pouring, what I assume to be alcohol, all over a girl’s naked chest and he’s licking it off her breasts. That one hurt, like really hurt, like a knife stabbing my heart and ripping it apart. “Hey, I’m sorry.” Claire moves over to where I’m sitting on her bed. “I just don’t want to see you pining after Finn all summer when he isn’t doing the same.” She’s right. I told him to have fun, be free and he’s only doing what I told him to do, so I can’t be mad, but I didn’t think he would move on that quickly. “Come on, we have Amy Merkin’s party tonight, Chad is going to be there, maybe you should look extra hot tonight for him.” I give her a weak smile, she’s right, maybe tonight I need to move on.
184
Finn
One year later
“Can’t believe Isla is graduating today,” Oscar states as we sit in the crowded hall of our old school. So many memories of my time here swirling around me. “I really hope she likes our proposition to her.” I really hope she says no, as much as I want to spend time with Isla, having her so close and not being able to touch her would kill me. I honestly haven’t seen Isla much since this time last year. Once I got back from my summer away she was dating Chad, the captain of the soccer team. She looked like she was happy with him. Not like I’ve been lonely, being a footballer in college kind of makes me a legend, add that I’m in a band as well and I’m pretty much one of the most popular guys there. I’m not going to lie and say I was a saint during summer break. Isla was right, I would have fucked up if we had started dating which would have ruined my friendship with her and Oscar as well, and probably ruined the band before we even got started. I just wasn’t expecting to see her with a boyfriend when I got home, especially one that is still here after a year.
“There she is.” Oscar points out as Isla walks into the auditorium. She still takes my breath away, her long blonde hair and a smile that lights up her entire face. She’s lost in a world of excitement about graduation, I was the same this time last year.
“Congratulations, Is.” Oscar grabs Isla into a big bear hug and swings her around, her giggles filter through the air.
“You’re squashing me,” she screams, trying to pull herself from the Viking’s strong embrace.
“Congrats,” I say awkwardly. I want to pull her into my arms and hold her because I haven’t in a year and it’s killing me that she is so close yet so far.
“Thanks.” She smiles, but that is all she gives me before turning around and her face lighting up when she sees Chad, who rushes over and pulls her into his arms. He kisses her freely. Having to watch her kiss someone else really hurts. I know they have probably done stuff but physically seeing it, is like a dagger to my chest.
“Oscar.” Chad shakes his hand. “Finn.” He shakes mine also. “Babe, we got to go,” he tells Isla.
“Right. Thanks guys for coming. I’ll see ya later.” She kisses Oscar and is about to run away but he stops her.
“Hey, I need to talk to you,” he says seriously, which grabs her attention.
“Is everything okay?” The excitement of the day draining from her face.
“Yeah, it’s just…”
“Bitch, we just graduated.” Claire, Isla’s best friend, jumps onto her back and they both end up on the ground in a fit of laughter. I reach my hand out for Isla to take to help her up. She hesitates for a moment then finally does and the instant our skin touches zaps of electricity shoot between us. She quickly pulls her hand away. I know she felt it.
“You’re looking good, Oscar,” Claire flirts. “Have you been working out?” She squeezes his arm. Isla rolls her eyes.
“Come on, we have to go.” She pulls Claire away from her brother before she can molest him. “Oscar, can we chat tomorrow. I’m late for my party.”
“I’ll see ya’ll tonight then, Dirty Texas is playing, we’ll catch up then.” Oscar surprises her, those ice-blue eyes look to me then back to Oscar. “Okay, whatever, bye.” Claire and Isla huddle together and walk off.
“I don’t think Isla is happy that we are playing at the graduation party tonight. Did you feel that too?” Oscar asks.
“Maybe she just doesn’t want her big brother to cramp her style.” I joke.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
All through our set my eyes scan the crowd for Isla but she isn’t there. I haven’t seen her all night; I haven’t seen Chad either. I shouldn’t be pissed this is her night, she should enjoy it. I also know Oscar is dying to ask her to join us this summer, he really misses her but I don’t know if Isla is going to be so happy about it. Finally, we finish our set to thunderous applause, of course we are all surrounded by seniors wanting to add us to their night of memories, but the only senior I’m wanting isn’t even interested.
“Have you seen Isla?” Oscar asks me. I shake my head; he doesn’t need to know I too have been searching for her.
“Isla’s down the back with Chad’s friends,” some girl informs us.
“Thanks.” Oscar gives the girl a kiss, which makes her squeal then he powers on through the crowd, I’m hot on his heels. When we arrive Chad is sitting with his friends but no Isla. When Chad sees Oscar and I he stiffens in his chair and looks like he is about to shit himself.
“I’m sorry, man,” Chad says, getting up from his chair and meeting us half way. “It wasn’t my fault. It was all Claire’s. She wouldn’t leave me alone. She just keeps harassing me…” Oscar and I look at each other, a murderous rage fills us both. Is he saying he and Claire have been messing around behind Isla’s back? His words trail off and before I know it Oscar has punched the stupid punk in the nose.
“You motherfucking piece of shit,” he roars as Chad rolls around in the dirt screaming at Oscar for breaking his nose. “Where the hell is she?” Chad is too far gone in his pain, his friends rushing around him.
“She left,” one of his friends tells us.
“Fuck,” Oscar yells. We rush back to my truck. “I want to kill him.” Oscar slams the door, vibrating the metal.
“I know, so do I. That little fucker. And Claire I…I’m shocked.” Oscar looks at me and I can see the swirling torment behind his pale eyes.
“If anything happens to her,” Oscar growls as he madly tries Isla’s phone which keeps going to voicemail.
“She’s probably gone home and is crying in her room.” Oscar nods as we high tail it back to his home.
Oscar jumps out of my truck before it even gets a chance to stop and rushes into the house, I follow not far behind. He searches her room but she’s not there.
“Where the hell is she?” Oscar looks frantic. “If we don’t find her I’m going back to that party and fucking that little shit up real good.”
“Look, you take your car, you go back to the party. Her friends must have seen where she went. Just don’t fucking touch Chad.” I glare at him but he ignores me. “I’ll go have a look at some spots she likes to hang out.” Oscar nods and I peel out of the driveway. I know exactly where she would be and I just hope that she is there.
Moments later I’m pulling up into our spot and I see Isla’s car there. I rush up to her window making her scream. She’s been crying.
“Let me in.” I try the car door but it’s locked. She unlocks it and lets me in.
The car smells like her, I take in a deep breath of her scent letting the floral notes brush over my skin. “Are you okay?” The car is filled with a silent tension. Then before I know it, Isla is on me, her lips, hands pulling at my clothes, demanding that they come off and I’m lost in the feeling of her lips on mine again that I don’t even hesitate. Her fingers are pulling at the buttons of my jeans.
“Please tell me you have protection.”
“In my wallet.” Isla fishes around for it, pulling it from my pocket and grabbing the foil square. She’s pulling my dick out of my boxers and sheathing me before I have time to process what is happening. Then Isla’s moving above me, she’s wearing this flowy white dress. Slowly, ever so slowly, she is sinking down on my cock.
“Holy shit.” I feel her wrapped around me again, no one has ever felt the way she does.
“I hated you,” she tells me as she moves above me. “I hated seeing you with all those girls on summer break. I hated seeing the photos, the gossip of all the girls you have been with since me. I hated seeing it.” She continuously moves up and down on my dick.
“Do you think it was easy for me to come back and see that you had a boyfriend?” I argue back. Those ice-blue eyes shooting fire at me.
“Two weeks you didn’t even last two weeks,” she yells at me, her hands resting on my shoulders giving her more leverage against my dick.
“You pushed me away, Isla. You didn’t want me,” I confess to her. She stills against me.
“You think I didn’t want you?” It was a stupid thing to say, because I know she did, but to the bruised ego of an eighteen-year-old boy, that’s what it felt like at that moment. “I wanted you so much that I let you go.” Her hands touch my cheeks softly, undoing me slowly. I bury my face into her chest.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I confess.
“I’ve missed you too.” She slowly begins to move against me again.
This was not how I was expecting the night to go.
We eventually move into my truck.
“So what happened?” Isla snuggles into my chest.
“Do I have to talk about it?” My hand softly brushes her forehead.
“No. But Oscar is looking for you and he’s pissed. He punched Chad out, you know.” Isla turns and looks up at me in shock. “I think he might have broken his nose.”
“Good. The fucker deserves it.” She gives me a weak smile. “I should have seen it coming. We did everything together the three of us.”
“How could you have possibly have known, Is. She’s your best friend and he’s your boyfriend, you trusted them.” Her eyes widen.
“How did you know?”
“Chad told.”
“Oscar is going to kill him.” This makes me smile.
“He almost did. But he’s worried about you. Text him and tell him you are okay and I’ll bring you home when you're ready.”
“Can you? I don’t want to answer my phone it’s probably filled with messages from Claire. I can’t even with her now.” I nod in understanding and text Oscar letting him know she just needs some time but will be home soon. He texts back not sounding happy but glad she is okay and with me. If he knew that I just fucked his little sister on the front seat of her car I don’t think he would be so happy.
“Apparently, it’s been going on for eight months.” Wow that is really messed up. “She had told him that I was in love with someone else. That he would never fully have my heart. That he deserved someone that would put him first not second like I did.” My heart starts to beat quicker in my chest.
“Is that true?” Hope blooms in my chest. Isla looks me directly in the eye, her warm body still straddled across me.
“Finn, as much as I love you, my world doesn’t revolve around you.” Wow, okay, that’s kind of honest. She places her finger under my chin, bringing my attention back to her. “Was I pining for you? In the beginning, yes. But you moved on.” My stomach sinks, she’s right, I did after declaring how I would be faithful and all that stuff. I realize that was bullshit, all because I didn’t want to share her with anyone else. “And it hurt, I’m not going to lie. But you know what else it did?” she asks me. I shake my head. “It made me stronger.” She presses her lips to mine and gives me a tender kiss. “And this little fucked up blimp in the road, this too will make me stronger.” This girl. “Finn Connolly, you are my first love and I’m so thankful it was you. But I don't think you and I are…” Her words fall away and my body clenches waiting for the words I know she is going to say, “…ready for more.”
“Yet,” I add. She raises her eyebrow at me. “I’m putting a pin in this because I think you and me, Isla, when the time is right between us, we are going to be so fucking good and I’m going to love you so hard.” Leaning in, kissing her, I show her that maybe one day she is going to be my last love.
185
Finn
Three years later
“What the fuck?” I throw the magazine across the room. “How are they allowed to print such bullshit.” Pacing the hotel room, I feel sick, my whole life has been thrown into turmoil over this article and I can’t do anything about it.
“We know the truth.” Oscar tries and calms me down.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s all over the internet and that doesn’t go away, that’s there forever and if people don’t check the facts then they’re going to believe whatever lies these parasites are spewing.” I punch the wall with my fist, the pain screams through my hand, calming me down for a few seconds.
“Everyone, get the hell out,” Isla screams at the band and our useless manager. She is this tiny little blonde pocket rocket, who looks so sweet but really is a hard-ass. The boys grumble but all do as they are told. Our manager looks pissed but he is fucking useless. He was supposed to have helped with this matter, instead it’s turned into this huge money grabbing drama, something I wanted nothing to be a part of.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Isla yells at me once the door to my hotel room is closed, her ice-blue eyes looking pissed as she shoots daggers at the hand that punched through the wall. The blood trickling down my knuckles, the throbbing numbing my hand. “You have a concert tomorrow.” She’s right, it was a stupid thing to do but I’m frustrated. I’m worried. Scared. Alone. Isla opens the mini bar fridge and pulls out a mini bottle of bourbon and hands it to me.
“Here, have this. I’ll get something to fix up your hand.” I take it and throw back the shot of dark liquid, the heat rushing through my body dulling the pain it’s currently feeling. Isla comes back and settles beside me on the sofa, she asks for my hand and starts workin
g on it with her medicine kit, the antiseptic stinging across my cuts. “Talk to me, Finn.” Those ice-blue eyes look up at me. “You can trust me.” I stare at her. I do trust her. She’s become my best friend. It took us awhile once she joined the band to get to the place where we are now, friends. I don’t think the sexual chemistry between us has dulled because even though I haven’t touched her in years, we do still flirt with each other. Being in this life you need people who knew you before you were famous around you to keep you grounded, because once you have money and fame people’s motives change and you honestly don’t know who to trust anymore. That’s how I’ve ended up in the public shit storm I’m in now.
Our manager, Wayne, introduced Vivian Wright to me at some Hollywood party. She was an up and coming actress with a string of okay movies and there was a buzz starting to happen around her. She was represented by his company and he thought that us “dating” would be great publicity for her and our band, that it would be mutually beneficial to everyone. Vivian was beautiful, how could I say no to that, pretending to date a beautiful actress? In public we were young lovers but in private we were not so monogamous because this was a fake relationship. The tabloids loved it, the photo ops we had set up catching us doing normal couple things were hot property, the gossip rags couldn't get enough of us. Things started to change after she made her biggest movie to date with a huge Hollywood star. I knew she was screwing him; I didn’t care because I was still hooking up with groupies on the sly.
