by JA Low
“Plus, I’m sure Oscar warned Finn away from you the moment he met you,” her mom laughs. “He was always too protective of you.”
“He was overprotective all my life. No wonder Finn was too scared to ever take a chance with me.” You can tell Isla is still a little upset with Oscar over the lost time with Finn.
“I know your brother regrets it. He thought he was doing the right thing,” her mum adds, sticking up for Oscar.
“I know he does, Mom.” Isla gives her a reassuring smile.
“All that matters now is we are going to finally celebrate the two of you officially becoming husband and wife,” Finn’s mom says excitedly. “I will finally have a daughter of my own and won’t be so outnumbered with all that testosterone. Unless you have a daughter, then the numbers will be more in our favor.” She winks. Looks like someone is hinting at more grandbabies.
“So, Stacey, any ideas for your wedding?” Isla quickly changes the baby talk, throwing me under the bus in the process. She catches me mid sip of my champagne.
“Umm.”
“Yes. I am dying to hear of your plans,” Oscar’s mum adds enthusiastically.
“Oscar and I haven’t really thought about it.” Panic races through my body.
“What? You have had your wedding planned since you were young,” my sister butts in. “Stacey used to prance around in Mum’s old wedding veil.” This makes everyone laugh, because they know my stance on getting married. “You said that you would get married at the Sydney Opera House.”
“Nommie, I was five,” I protest, my cheeks turning red with embarrassment.
“Well I’m sure Oscar could make it happen.” My sister smiles widely.
“We only got engaged a couple of months ago. Which was a surprise as Oscar always told me he didn’t want to get married, that he didn’t see any real point in having a piece of paper.”
“That’s because he was used to fooling around with groupies and gold diggers,” Isla adds.
“And now he is one giant teddy bear,” Oscar’s mum adds, her face softening at the words.
“What about kids? I want to be an aunty,” my sister asks.
“Nommie, stop, you’re going to scare him away.” Little do they all know it’s me who hasn’t come around to the being a mother. Looking around the room, I realize I’m in a room surrounded by mothers who wouldn’t understand.
“If babysitting Hunter hasn’t scared him away yet, then nothing will,” Naomi laughs.
“Hunter is a wonderful boy, Naomi. You should be so proud. He has the most beautiful manners,” Oscar’s mum tells her. You can see the motherly pride on her face her words.
“Thank you so much. Your family has been so generous to him. Seeing him again I can see he’s grown up so much in such a short time.”
“He’s a hard worker,” Sienna adds. “He’s helped me out so much in the shop, and Derrick as well. He gets stuck in there and helps no matter the task.”
“He’s also helped the boys with regards to social media. Helping them get a little more clued in on what the young people are into nowadays. As much as the boys think they are young and hip, they are kind of clueless,” Vanessa laughs. “Especially with technology.” Naomi has a huge smile on her face.
“Thank you all so much.” Her eyes are glassy. “You all live such busy, important lives, and taking the time to look after my eldest...” She sniffles. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you all for your generosity.” Isla jumps up to give my sister a hug.
“You’re family,” Sienna adds. “We look after family.” Naomi nods and squeezes my hand tighter.
“I can’t believe you told that story to everyone,” I chastise Naomi as we walk back to the house after our spa day.
“What? It was funny.”
“Oscar and I…we aren’t like everyone else here.”
“I know you’ve said you never wanted to get married or have kids, but I thought that would have changed now that you’re engaged.” My sister looks at me.
“Getting engaged was a big enough step.”
“The way Oscar is with Easton, that man wants kids.” I frown at her.
“Can’t he just be an awesome uncle?” Naomi gives me a look.
“I love you, sis, but look at all your friends and how happy they are.”
“You think I’m not happy?” I look at my sister.
“It’s a different kind of happy when you have kids.” I knew my family wouldn’t understand.
“I love kids, but other people’s kids,” I add.
“You’re still young, Stace, you have plenty of time. Your biological clock hasn’t started ticking yet.”
“What happens if it never happens?” I ask her. She stops and looks at me.
“You would be happy to never have kids?”
“I don’t know, maybe.” Not going to lie, there is a tiny portion of me that is curious to see what our kid would look like.
“All I am going to say is, never say never, okay?” She throws her arm around my shoulder. “I know you are building your career, but look at Sienna, she has been able to juggle two kids and a career. Life doesn’t stop.” Maybe she’s right. I know Oscar has broached the subject that if I accidentally became pregnant he wouldn’t be freaked out. Ugh, too much pressure. I’ll worry about it another day.
“You know, I have you down as guardian to our kids if anything happened to us.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I trust you, Stace.” Wow. I had no idea she trusted me that much. “Now you have Oscar in your life too, I know they would be looked after.”
“Well, don’t let anything happen please. I’m not ready to be a mum to five kids. I have one of yours and he’s enough.”
“Deal.” My sister laughs.
264
Stacey
“Babe, your phone’s ringing.” Oscar nudges me.
“It’s four in the morning.” Squinting, I look at the bedside clock that is glowing right in front of me. “Who the hell is calling?” I groggily ask Oscar
“It’s Amelia.”
That wakes me up quickly. I sit up in my bed trying to get my bearings. Why is my niece calling at this time?
“Amelia, is everything okay?” There’s silence on the other end of the phone. “Amelia,” I say her name again. Maybe she pocket dialed me. Then I hear sniffling. “Amelia. I’m here. Is everything okay?”
“They’re dead.” She bursts out crying. Oscar stiffens beside me, hearing her words.
“Honey, what’s going on? Are you okay? Do you need help?” I’m slightly confused.
“They’re dead, Stacey. All dead.” My heart is racing a hundred miles an minute. What is she talking about? I’m becoming really concerned for her mental health, something doesn’t feel right.
“Honey, put your mum on the phone. You’re scaring me.” Panic starts to seep through my bones.
“I can’t, she’s dead.” What the hell did she just say? This better be some kind of sick joke she’s playing on me.
“Amelia, what the hell is going on?” Anger takes over from the shock.
“There’s been an accident.” Silence falls between us, my heart races. “Pop had to grab something in town before picking Mum and Dad up from the airport. I can’t even remember what it was anymore. Gran went too, she wanted to get her hair done before some big CWA thing. But there wasn’t enough room in the car for all of us, so I stayed behind and looked after the others.” Amelia is rambling. “And now…now they are dead, Stacey. Mum, Dad, Gran and Pop.” I shake my head. No. No. No. No. This isn’t happening. No. Not my family. No. I think I’m going to be sick. Oscar is up out of bed and moving around the room.
“What do you mean?” Shaking my head, I don’t believe it. Naomi and Simon were just with us in Hawaii for Finn and Isla’s wedding. We only just said goodbye to them, they should have arrived today. Today! Oh my God. Mum and Dad were picking them up from the airport. My family live in the bush, a four hour drive from Sydney or
about a fifty minute plane trip to Mudgee. They’re farmers, Dad mostly deals in sheep. Simon took over the family business as Dad got older, but the drought has been tough on them. That’s why Oscar giving Naomi and Simon this trip to Hawaii for their twentieth wedding anniversary meant the world to them. We don’t come from money; everything we make goes back into the farm or the kids’ education.
“They…” Amelia starts but she can’t seem to finish. “A truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and…” She doesn’t finish the sentence, but she doesn’t need too. “No one survived.” No. I can’t believe it. I scream and wail. I’m unable to hold it in. My heart’s been ripped from my chest. No. Not my family. They can’t be gone. Oscar holds me tight as my world falls apart. He takes the phone from my hand as I am unable to hold it due to my shaking.
“Who’s looking after you?” Oscar asks, placing Amelia on speaker. Oh no, they are all alone. All alone!
“The neighbors, they…they have come over.” No. This isn’t right. I should be there. I should be with my family.
“I’m getting on the first plane out of LA.”
“We can take the jet,” Oscar advises. “I’ve just texted the crew to tell them to get ready.” Fuck, I love this man.
“And Hunter? What about him?” Amelia asks.
“Yes, of course. Of course he will be on the plane too.” Oscar advises her.
“Okay,” she says through tears. “Please hurry, Aunt Stacey. We need you.”
“I need you too. I love you. I love you all so much. I’m coming. Tell them all I’m coming.” My hands are shaking as I hang up. I feel lost.
“Baby, come here.” Oscar pulls me into his lap and I let it all out.
I sit there for what seems to be hours, absorbing all of Oscar’s strength.
“You think you are ready to tell Hunter?” Looking up into his ice blue eyes, I shake my head.
“How can I be ready? His whole life is about to change.”
“I’ll be there for you.” He kisses my forehead. “I can tell him if you can’t say the words. He’s going to need you there but I can be the one that delivers the news.”
“You would do that for me?”
“You should know by now, little one, I would do anything for you.”
Hours later we are pulling up at the private airport. Christian’s mother gave Hunter a mild sedative; she’s a former nurse. Hunter didn’t cope well hearing the news. That was the worst thing I ever had to do; watching this young kid break down before me. We get out of the car and I see Sienna and Derrick racing toward me, their arms stretched out, tears falling down their faces. They knew my family. They visited them often. Derrick loved to play cowboy out on the farm. They hit me full force and pull me into their arms, I hold onto them tightly.
“I am so sorry. So, so sorry,” Sienna bawls.
“I have no words,” Derrick adds.
“I don’t believe it. We only saw them a day and a bit ago. They were here, living and breathing, and now…now….” The tears fall again and they pull me closer, mumbling words of reassurance to me. Eventually, I pull away from them. “Thank you guys for coming down to the airport to see me, I appreciate it so much. But I really better go.”
“We’re coming,” Derrick adds. I freeze. What did he say?
“Did you seriously think I would let you go through this alone?” Sienna tells me.
“We know you have your Viking love, but now you have the two of us too.” Derrick gives me a small smile.
“But what about the babies?” I ask Sienna. She just waves her hands in the air.
“Evan has it covered, plus his parents are just down the road.”
“What about work?” Derrick waves my concerns away.
“Sweetheart, it’s called delegating.” I burst into tears, because I never expected this from my friends.
“Thank you, guys. Thank you so much.”
“What are friends for?” Derrick smiles.
265
Stacey
We arrive in Australia. It’s the middle of summer and the heat really hits us. We take a smaller private plane to get us to Mudgee from Sydney as the larger jet can’t land at the regional airport. Thankfully, this time the paparazzi have not followed us. I really can’t deal with them with everything else going on. It’s a dusty thirty minute drive out to my family’s farm from the airport.
Oscar holds my hand the entire way, I don’t think he’s let go of it since LA. He’s being my rock in this moment, but the closer we get to the farm, the tighter my chest feels. Derrick and Sienna have been amazing. They’ve helped out with Hunter, who has totally shut down. The sedative wore off not long after arriving in Australia and the closer he gets to the farm the more glazed his eyes become. The driver pulls into the long driveway; the red dirt blowing up all around us. The once green grass is now a horrible brown color, and in most places nonexistent. The dirt road leads us up to the white homestead, the house garden is looking green; my mother loves her roses and vegetable patch. The garden looks fantastic considering everything else is dead around it. It’s like a tiny oasis.
The front screen door swings open as the car pulls to a stop. My three nieces run out. Amelia who’s fifteen, Emma who’s thirteen and Rebecca who’s ten. Hunter is the first one out of the car, heavy sobs falling from his lips. His sisters are equally heartbroken. They all collapse into a pile of grief. My heart is being ripped out as I watch them in this moment. Oscar pulls me into him as we give the siblings their moment together. I slowly walk over to where they are. Emma is the first to look up.
“Aunt Stacey.” She jumps up and into my arms. She buries her face into my chest, the other two join her. I reach around and wrap my arms as far as I can around them, holding them as tight as possible. I never want to let them go. The screen door creeks and Lockie’s little shrieks pull us apart.
“Hunnie,” Lockie calls for his brother. He kicks and whines in the neighbor’s arms. She puts him down and they run to each other; Hunter scooping up Lockie into his arms. He holds him tightly trying not to cry in front of the three-year-old. The girls stick close to me as I make my way toward the front stoop. Hilda O’Brien, our next door neighbor and my mother’s best friend, looks out to me, her eyes red raw with emotion, but I can see she is holding it in for us. I rush to where she is and pull her into my arms and that’s when she’s unable to hold it in anymore.
“It’s no fair, Stace. It’s not fair.” Hilda sniffles.
“Thank you for being here. Thank you for looking after them for me.” I untangle myself from her.
“You’re family, Stace, it’s what we do.” I nod in agreement.
“Shacey.” Lockie realizes I am here too. He reaches out for me and I take him from Hunter’s arms. My heart is breaking knowing how confused he must be. He has no idea that his family isn’t coming home. He doesn’t understand why everyone is crying. I bury my face into his little neck which makes him giggle. I turn my crying into raspberries, hoping it will distract him from what’s going on.
“Hey, little man. You have grown so big.” My voice hitches as the moment hits me. He’s going to grow up and my sister is never going to see it. Tears begin to stream down my face again.
“No sad. Happy,” he tells me and I try to put on a smile. He reaches out for Hunter again. I turn around and see the girls are wrapped in Oscar’s arms, Derrick and Sienna looking a right mess, trying to conceal their red tear stained faces.
“Come inside, I’ve popped the kettle on.” Hilda opens the screen door for us. “You’re probably exhausted after the long journey.”
“It wasn’t too bad. The joys of a private jet.” I wince, realizing what the hell I just said.
“Ah, yes. That does make traveling very comfortable. Your mum couldn’t stop talking about her trip on it over Christmas. She showed me the photos.” I swallow down a sob. “You’re probably hungry. Let me make you all a sandwich or something.” I’m suspecting Hilda needs something to do, so I follow her to t
he kitchen. My mother’s perfume is still in the air. The scent takes me back to memories of her waking me up to get ready for school. The nostalgia is like an arrow to the heart. We pass my parents’ bedroom and I stop. The door is closed, but I just can’t help myself. It just doesn’t seem real. I’m hoping that she is sitting on her bed reading one of her racy romance books, her glasses sitting on the tip of her nose, her cheeks slightly flushed caught up in some drama over a sheik or a billionaire. Quickly, I open it but the vision evaporates and all I see is their empty room. Every morning my mother made her bed no matter what. I run my hands over the quilt. A quilt my grandmother made for her when she got married. There’s an upturned book on the bedside table, a half glass of water with a bright pink lipstick stain on it. I see the photo of our family at Christmas time in Big Bear taking pride of place on her bedside table. I notice my father’s side next. A magazine about farm machinery sits haphazardly on the table. I collapse onto the bed, breathing in their scent, committing it to memory. The bed sinks beside me, a large hand rests on my side.
“Let it out.” Oscar’s deep voice wraps around me like a beautiful security blanket. Sitting up, I wrap myself around him purging as many tears as I can, because this family is going to need me to be strong for them in the next coming days. I can’t keep breaking down.
“It’s not fair. It’s just not fair,” I scream into his chest.
“It’s not.” He rubs his hands across my back. Oscar holds me, rocking me, mumbling sweet words until I can’t cry anymore. “Let it all out now, baby. Because there are some kids out there that will need their Aunt. And once they are in bed for the night, you can come back here and cry yourself to sleep. I will hold you all night.” He wipes the tears away and kisses each of my cheeks. “I promise you, Stacey, I’ve got you.” I let out a heavy sigh. I can do this. I can be strong for those kids. I need to be strong for them because they don’t have any other adults in their lives now.
