The Smuggler

by Leslie Georgeson

  Don’t give in, Grace. He’ll just hurt you.

  What if he means it? What if he gives you what you want this time?

  What if he still only wants “just fucking”?

  I was torn. I didn’t know what to do. But I couldn’t let him hurt me again.

  “No.” I pushed past him and headed for my apartment. “I’m not a whore you can use whenever you need to scratch your itch. Go bug someone else.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Grace

  Tony didn’t follow as I reached my apartment and unlocked the door. Part of me was relieved, not wanting the confrontation right now, while another part of me was disappointed, wanting him to fight for me, convince me he truly wanted me for more than just sex. I was only human, after all.

  I went inside and closed and locked the door. I turned around, letting out a soft gasp as he suddenly appeared right in front of me.

  “Feck!” I hissed out. “You scared me. How do you do that?”

  He shrugged. “I’m The Smuggler. I can make myself disappear, and reappear in another place.”

  “So that’s why they call you The Smuggler? I saw you disappear the other night and figured that was your dreg talent.”

  He nodded, stepping closer.

  I backed away. Oh no, he wasn’t touching me. No way. I hadn’t wanted him in my apartment, but the big arse had gotten in anyway.

  “I want you to leave,” I ordered. “I didn’t invite you in here.”

  His gaze darkened. “Do you know how hot you are in that cop uniform? I want to rip it off you and kiss every one of your freckles. I want to yank your hair out of that bun and run my fingers through it.”

  Heat pooled in my core. Feck him. He couldn’t do this. It wasn’t fair. “I’m not very attractive right now with all the cuts and bruises.”

  He stepped closer. “You’ll always be sexy to me.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut. Don’t let him woo you with words. Don’t let him hurt you, Grace.

  I backed away.

  He followed.

  I kept backing up, and he kept following, until I came up against the kitchen counter. I’d chosen flight over fight, but now there was nowhere else to run.

  I straightened my spine. Lifted my chin.

  So now I would have to fight.

  “Don’t you touch me,” I warned.

  For a moment, he hesitated, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. “Do you truly want me to leave, Grace? If so, I will go. And I won’t come back. I won’t bother you ever again.”

  He waited, his black gaze intense on mine.

  Of course I didn’t want him to leave. I was just too proud to admit it. I wanted him to stay. Forever. I wanted more than just sex from this man. I wanted to know him. I wanted him to open up to me and show me who he was.

  You already know who he is. You’ve seen it in his actions. The way he selflessly risked his life to search for Teresa and Camille. The way he came to help coax that boy from underneath the porch. The way he saved you from the thugs the other night. The way he brought food and sat with a stray dog. He’s a good man, Grace. You know he is. Maybe he just needs you to help him realize that.

  But if I let him in, he could all too easily hurt me again. I’d never been in love before. No man had ever affected me the way Tony did. It scared me. It gave him the power to hurt me again.

  It was true that I wanted him. But on my terms, not his. And he would never accept my terms. I wanted to win the fight, but only if the ultimate prize was Tony’s heart. I didn’t want just his body. I didn’t want “just fucking”. I wanted all of him.

  “If I let you stay, then I have terms.”

  He cocked a brow. “What kind of terms?”

  “If I give you my body again, then I want something in return.”

  Wariness flickered in his eyes. “What do you want, Grace? Tell me.”

  “I want more from you than just sex, Tony. I want your heart.”

  He stepped back, looking stunned. Then he let out a soft snort. “My heart? Sorry, no can do. I don’t have a heart. I’m not sure if I ever had one.”

  A mixture of pain and disappointment stabbed through me. What had I expected, really? Him to profess his undying love?

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I can’t promise I won’t hurt you again,” he murmured, his gaze turning serious. “But I can promise that you won’t regret letting me into your bed. I will give you everything you want, Grace. Everything that I have to give.”

  “Except your heart?” I turned away as more pain slammed into me, deep and twisting. Arsehole. Why couldn’t he love me? Why was he insistent on being so cold and unfeeling?

  I lifted an arm, pointing at the door. “Then get out, you bastard! Get out!”

  He strode forward, forcing me back into the countertop. He never actually touched me, but he leaned in close, and I reared back, not wanting to accidentally touch him. “Are you really going to send me away because I don’t have a heart? As if I have any control over that. If I had a heart, I would give it to you, Grace. I swear I would. But I don’t have one. I’m dead inside. Who cares about feelings, anyway? What about the sexual chemistry between us? It’s fucking hot.” He lowered his head until his mouth was almost touching mine. “I will give you kisses, Grace. Lots of kisses. I will make you come. Again and again. I will worship your body, over and over. I will be your lover for as long as you want me. You won’t regret it because I will fuck you so thoroughly it will be all you’ll be able to think about.”

  Longing swept through me. I wanted that. So much. I wanted him. But I wanted his heart, too. Why did he think he didn’t have a heart? What had happened to make him so jaded?

  Maybe he’s never experienced love before. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t think he has a heart. Maybe he needs someone to show him what love is.

  My heart squeezed. I so wanted to be the woman to teach him about love. But if I let him in, I would take a chance of getting hurt again. I would fall completely in love with him. I knew I would. And when this was over and he left, I would have nothing but a broken heart.

  I lowered my gaze. “You said it was ‘just fucking’, and that hurt me, Tony. If I let you touch me again, you’ll only hurt me more.” My breath hitched. “So, tell me why I should give you another chance.”

  He sighed, remorse flashing in his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you, Grace. I just want to be with you. That’s all I can say.”

  My chest tightened, emotion clogging my throat.

  I just want to be with you.

  I stared into his eyes. And I knew I was going to give in. His words were so heartfelt. So genuine. And the look in his eyes—tenderness, earnestness—was something I’d never seen from him before.

  I just want to be with you.

  “Let me make it up to you,” he whispered. “Right here. Right now. Just say yes, and I’ll make you forget everything but this moment.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Tony

  I’d known when I’d made the decision to reject my vow to stay away and come to see her anyway, that I might be met with some resistance. I’d come prepared to do whatever I had to do to convince Grace to let me touch her. The strong pull she had on me was irresistible. I couldn’t fight it any longer. So I’d parked myself in the shrubs with Amigo and waited for her to get off work.

  I’d known coming here would be risky, that the Black Dragons might be out there somewhere, watching and waiting, but I’d also noticed the cop on duty, watching Grace’s apartment. I’d made myself invisible until she’d approached. No one had seen me. Except the dog, who’d smelled me. Amigo had known I was there when no one else had.

  Now that I was inside her apartment, and had her pinned against the counter, I had to convince her to allow me to touch her. I would not take what wasn’t freely given. Until I heard a “yes”, my hands would not touch.

  I didn’t care that I was about to break my rule to never kiss a woman on the mouth. I’d wanted to ki
ss Grace from the moment I’d seen her, and I’d denied myself long enough. As soon as she gave me the green light, I was going to devour her. I was going to suck on those pouty lips. I was going to taste her. I was going to make her mine. All of her. There wouldn’t be an inch of flesh I wouldn’t kiss or touch in some way. When I’d made the decision to give in to my need for her, I’d decided I wasn’t going to hold back. I was going to make her mine in every sense of the word. Mine.

  I rested my hands on the countertop on either side of her body. But I didn’t touch her. She hadn’t given her permission yet. There was only inches—maybe no more than centimeters in some places—separating our bodies. The sexual tension in the air was so thick, it nearly smothered me with desire. But still, I didn’t touch.

  “Say yes,” I whispered, lowering my head so my mouth nearly touched hers. “Just say yes, and I will give you what you want. Say it, Grace. Say yes, and put us both out of our misery.”

  Her breasts rose and fell rapidly, drawing my gaze. It was all I could do not to bury my face between those glorious mounds and inhale. Then she hitched in a breath, and I pulled my gaze to her mouth. The tip of her tongue came out, licking across her bottom lip.

  I groaned. “You’re killing me, Grace. Just say yes.”

  She swallowed hard, and my gaze darted down to that soft white throat.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  Finally.

  I grabbed her hips, lifting her up onto the countertop, and stepped between her legs. She let out a soft gasp, her hands landing on my shoulders as I yanked her close, rubbing against her soft heat. Lowering my head, I slid my mouth over hers. Claiming her.

  Mine.

  She opened for me immediately, taking me in. Grace was no shy wallflower. She was hot and bold and beautiful, and together we were combustible. Our tongues meshed, plundered, mating, seeking, taking, giving. There was no fighting her pull over me. I gave in to it hungrily. Greedily taking what she offered. She kissed me back as wildly as I kissed her, giving as much as she took.

  I let out a growl of pure need, deepening the kiss, pulling her even closer, rubbing against her as I let my hands roam over her curves. I reached for that annoying bun on her head, my fingers pulling at it, trying to free her glorious hair. She reached back, and with a few deft pulls and yanks, her hair was free. It fell down her back and over her shoulders in soft, sexy waves. I raked my fingers through it, stroking softly, then snagged a handful, and pulled her mouth back to mine.

  She moaned against my lips, slipping her hands beneath my jacket and inside my shirt. Her fingers brushed over my chest, down my abs, and back up. Nothing had ever felt so good as this. Kissing Grace. Touching her. Her soft hands stroking over my torso. I was on fire with need.

  I scooped her off the countertop and turned toward the bedroom. She wrapped her arms and legs around me, holding on tightly, and kept kissing me as I stumbled across the living room and down the hallway.

  Kissing Grace was pure heaven. Her lips sweet decadence, an addiction I couldn’t fight. If I didn’t slow this down, I wouldn’t last long enough to get her to the bed. So I pulled my mouth from hers and trailed kisses down her throat and up to her ear. I latched onto her earlobe and sucked heartily. She moaned, tilting her head back, her fingers twining in my hair, until we finally reached the bed. There was no elegance in the way we fell onto the mattress together with a tangle of limbs. I immediately crawled over on top of her, pinning her into the mattress. My hands went to the buttons on her uniform, deftly undoing them one by one.

  She watched me with hooded, desire-filled eyes, panting heavily, her anticipation building along with mine as I undid each button, exposing more and more of her soft white flesh. Finally, I pulled the shirt aside. Her breasts rose and fell from the confines of a black sports bra. She reached down and unbuckled her duty belt with the gun and all the police weapons attached to it, tossing it aside. Then she reached for me. I quickly unzipped my jacket, pulling my arms free and shoving it off. I was wearing one of Ryan’s shirts tonight—a dark blue pullover with long sleeves—as I’d wanted to impress her. I’d also squirted on some of Ryan’s cologne, recalling that she’d liked it that first night. She snagged the hem of the shirt and lifted it, urging me to remove it. I quickly obliged, pulling it over my head and tossing it aside. She breathed in deeply, then out.

  “God, you’re sexy,” she whispered, her gaze feasting on me. “And you smell so good.”

  No words had ever felt so amazing.

  I leaned over her then, taking her mouth in a searing kiss that went on and on. Fuck, I couldn’t get enough of her.

  She shoved me sideways, and I let her, rolling beneath her as she came around top and straddled my hips. If she were any other woman, I wouldn’t allow her to control this. But she was Grace. And I would let her do whatever the hell she wanted. Because that was how badly I wanted her.

  She yanked the sports bra over her head, her gorgeous breasts springing free.

  Mine.

  She leaned over me, brushing her lips against mine, then leaned back. Oh no, she wasn’t going anywhere yet. I wrapped an arm around her waist, anchoring her in place, and lifted my other hand to her neck, forcing her mouth back to mine. Our lips met in a hungry clash of heat and wetness.

  She reached down and unzipped my jeans, her hand closing seductively over me. I moaned, bucking against her. She released me long enough to remove the rest of her clothes and came back to me, naked.

  Ah God, she was stunning. Freckles. Yes, lots of freckles. And gorgeous, creamy white skin. Lots of sexy curves. Toned limbs. I swept my gaze down her body and back to her face. Even with a few bruises marring her flesh, she was still hot.

  Mine.

  I lifted my hips and helped her remove my jeans and my boxers. And then she climbed back on top of me with no clothing between us.

  She lowered her mouth to mine, her tongue delving deep to mate with mine. I flipped her over, rolling on top of her.

  My turn.

  She gasped, but she didn’t protest as I lowered my head and trailed kisses across her throat, then down her chest. I latched onto first one breast, sucking greedily, then the other one. Taking. Claiming. Making her mine.

  I kissed down her stomach, then lower, until I found what I was seeking.

  She arched up off the bed with a cry, so I grabbed her hips and anchored her still while I let my mouth and tongue drive her wild.

  She went a little cross-eyed for a moment, letting out a soft scream as she came almost violently. I snatched a condom from my jeans’ pocket, quickly rolling it on. I’d never taken a woman in this position before. Some called it missionary, but I called it personal. Face to face, eye to eye, was very personal. For the first time in my life I wanted to get personal with a woman. Face to face. I wanted to look into her eyes while she lost control. I wanted to see her expression while I made her come undone. And I wanted to kiss her on the mouth, over and over, while I made her mine.

  Grace reached for me eagerly, spreading her legs wide. I settled in, right where she wanted me. Right where I belonged.

  We came together with a burst of need. Of heat and passion. Mouths messing, bodies joining.

  And then she rocked me clear to the depths of my soul.

  I thought I was the one doing all the claiming. But I was wrong.

  She claimed me.

  Made me hers. Completely.

  She absolutely ruined me.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Grace

  Tony and I lay there, panting, trying to come to grips with what had just happened between us. We’d fit together perfectly. Beautifully. But then, I’d known we would.

  Then I felt him pulling away, leaving me. Not just physically. He was closing himself off emotionally, shutting me out. For a few moments, he’d made himself vulnerable and shared a part of himself with me. Now, he was growing distant again. Pushing me away. He sat up, his eyes guarded, and slid his legs over the side of the bed.

  Wh
y was this big, beautiful man so afraid to get close to me? He’d said he didn’t have a heart, but I didn’t believe that for a second. A man who didn’t have a heart wouldn’t have come out of hiding to help coax a frightened boy from underneath a porch. A man without a heart wouldn’t bring food to a stray dog and sit in the bushes with said dog, feeding it and offering it companionship. How could I convince Tony he did have a heart and that it was okay to care about someone? How did I convince him being vulnerable wasn’t bad?

  I sensed he was overwhelmed by what had just happened, and that if I pushed him right now, I would only send him away. So I chose my words carefully, as if I were speaking to a frightened child.

  “You’re not leaving, are you?” A man like Tony, who seemed to have an aversion to human touch, wouldn’t stay with a woman, touching, any longer than necessary. The very idea of cuddling probably made him want to flee. I had to try to keep him here as long as possible. “Can’t you stay awhile?”

  Oh Tony, you really don’t have to be so afraid. Why won’t you just let me in?

  He hadn’t seemed too adverse to touching moments ago. In fact, he’d seemed as into it as I’d been. Maybe, in time, I could wear him down, show him that human touch wasn’t a bad thing.

  He slowly turned his head to meet my gaze. The look in his eyes was so raw, so vulnerable that I reached over and squeezed his hand.

  “Grace.” He swallowed hard. “That wasn’t…just fucking. I thought…” He trailed off, drawing in a deep breath, then slowly exhaling. “I know I said I would be your lover for as long as you wanted. And I do want that. But I’m a little freaked out right now. I need to be alone. I need to…process everything. Fuck.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I don’t…want to hurt you. I just need…time. I…” He broke off again, pulling his hand from mine.

  My heart pinched. I’d never seen him so vulnerable, so unsure of himself. If he needed time, I would gladly give it to him. I didn’t want to lose this man. He meant far too much to me.

  He rose from the bed, hesitated, then turned back to me. “The sun’s almost up, anyway. I need to go home.” He bent to retrieve his clothing.