And our lust returned, smoldering between us like hot embers in a fire.
We came together hungrily, kissing, touching, our need desperate. He hefted me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, and kissed him long and deep, giving him all of me, and taking whatever he would give back.
He stumbled backward, spinning around with me still wrapped around him, and headed into the bedroom, kissing me the entire time. He set me on the edge of the bed and knelt before me, yanking my sweats down. Then he kissed down my body, slowly, hooking his fingers at the waist of my panties, and gently pulling them down. He licked up my calf, my thigh, kissing softly, then buried his head between my legs.
I let out a soft squeal, arching up, while he drove me insane with his mouth. The pressure built, intensified, and then I completely unraveled, crying out, and falling limp against the mattress.
He stripped off his shorts and came back to me before I’d completely recovered. He lifted my leg and kissed down my thigh again, my calf, the sole of my foot, then back up. I trembled, desire returning full force. He kissed my other leg, every single inch. Then he moved across my stomach and back up to my breasts.
“Freckles,” he said thickly. “So many sexy freckles. I want to kiss them all.” And then, he did. By the time he was done kissing them all, I was frantic with need.
“I need you inside me,” I groaned. “Please.”
He lifted his head from where he’d been nuzzling my breast. Never had a man made love to me so thoroughly before. I was partially in shock from all of his attention, but mostly in complete and utter need. It barreled into me like a hurricane. I needed him. Like crazy. An all-consuming, desperate need that only he could fulfill.
He rose up off the bed with a soft curse. “I don’t have a condom.”
I snagged his hand. “Doesn’t matter. I’m on the pill,” I lied. He didn’t need to know the truth right now. It was too personal.
He hesitated, clearly conflicted. “But I’ve always used one. Always.”
I grabbed his other hand and urged him back to me. “I’m clean,” I promised.
He shook his head. “So am I. But I’m not worried about that. I just…I’ve never…without a condom.”
I held his gaze. “Then this can be your first time without one.” I let go of his hands and cupped his face between my palms. “Tony. I don’t want anything between us. Just skin against skin, okay? Trust me, it’s better without latex.”
He gazed into my eyes for another second. Two.
“Please,” I whispered. “I’ll beg if I have to. I want you. I need you.”
My words snapped him out of his hesitation. With a soft growl, he lowered his head, taking my mouth in a fierce kiss. I arched up, urging him closer, welcoming him. He settled in right where I wanted him. I opened for him, letting him in. And he slid home.
We fit together beautifully, our bodies moving in perfect synchronism. It was breathtaking. Him and me. With nothing in between us. It was pure bliss. Sweet heaven.
Our orgasms hit us simultaneously, spiraling through us both in quick succession. I gasped, clinging to him, no doubt in my mind that I was his. Forever. He owned me. All of me. Completely. I almost told him I loved him then, but managed to hold back. It was too soon. If I told him how I felt right now, he’d run. I knew he would.
Baby steps, Grace.
We lay there, spent, breathing heavily, both of us shocked and overwhelmed by the intensity of what had just happened. It seemed each time we were together it was better than the last. And this time had been absolutely spectacular.
I felt him pulling away then, distancing himself from me. Physically and emotionally.
Oh no. He’d agreed he would stay. He’d agreed to cuddle.
I snagged his wrist, holding on tight.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Tony
Panic swept through me. When Grace had stated her conditions for letting me touch her again, I’d reluctantly agreed. I’d been so on fire with need for her at the time that I would have agreed to anything.
I wasn’t sure what had just happened between us. Never in my life had I ever experienced anything quite like that, but it rocked me clear to the depths of my soul.
Yeah, imagine that. I did have a soul. And lately it was making itself known. Shoving itself forward. Refusing to be ignored. All those feelings I’d kept bottled up inside, locked up tightly for so many years, were now spilling forth, running free like wild horses across the plains. I tried to reel them back in, get them under control. But it was like trying to catch those wild horses with nothing more than a piece of string. They ran roughshod right over the top of me, leaving me in their dusty wake.
I pulled at Grace’s hold, trying to free myself from this situation. But she stubbornly held on.
Grace was fucking me up. I’d agreed to cuddle with her, but I had a desperate urge to flee. Far and fast.
“You promised,” she reminded, pulling on my arm until I finally looked into her eyes. “You promised you would cuddle with me.”
I squirmed uncomfortably. When I was around Grace, I had a hard time maintaining the cold, impersonal exterior I gave off the rest of the time. She made me want to relax, to just let go and be myself with her. Though if I were honest with myself, I didn’t really know who I was inside, I’d been so empty for so long. The man I was becoming while around her was a completely different man than I’d been before. She softened me in ways I didn’t believe possible. She made me want to please her. To impress her. To be good enough for her. She made me want to care. To cherish her. To protect her. She made me want to love her. With everything I had.
And that scared me so badly, I literally shuddered with terror. The very idea of being in a real relationship with Grace, loving her, scared the living shit out of me. I had no problem urging my dreg brothers into finding their own happiness. But when it came to my own, I balked. I was so scared of loving her that I kept pushing her away.
Hurting her. Again and again.
I was a bastard. Plain and simple. A selfish coward.
Because I was so fucking scared.
I yanked my hand from her grasp and slid off the bed. I needed to get away from her.
Before I gave in and stayed.
She bolted off the bed and raced after me, wrapping her arms around me from behind. I should have known Grace wouldn’t let me get away so easily.
“Don’t you dare brush me aside like I’m just some cheap whore, you big arse. You said you would stay. That you would hold me.” She pressed her face into my back, her arms tightening around me. “Please.”
Something in my chest split open, breaking apart. I pried her arms off me and turned to face her. She lifted her chin, her eyes moist with unshed tears. I had hurt this woman terribly. And I knew I would continue to do so. Because I was too fucking scared to give her what she wanted.
“Grace.” My voice was hoarse, rough sounding. I’d never heard myself talk like that before. I cleared my throat. “I can’t…I don’t know how to–”
She pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. “I will show you how. Come on.”
My heart thundered wildly. Panic returned in a swift rush. She tugged on my hand, urging me back to the bed. I hesitated, swaying with indecision, my need to flee battling with my desire to please her.
She tugged again. Gently. And I found myself giving in, taking a step forward, then another. Following her. I didn’t really want to leave her. I wanted to stay. I wanted to hold her. But what if I did it wrong? What if I somehow offended her?
I will show you how.
Her words came back to me then, comforting in their honestly. She would show me. But giving up control, giving in to her wasn’t easy. I didn’t like to lose control. Even for a second.
I just had to convince myself that it wasn’t a bad thing to be vulnerable. To let her take charge.
She paused at the edge of th
e bed and turned to me. We were both still naked, and my gaze darted down to her perfect breasts, the rosy nipples still swollen from my mouth. Desire stirred inside me again, coming forth with a swift burst of need. Would I ever get my fill of her?
Sex, I could do. It didn’t require talking. It didn’t require discussing feelings or opening up and making myself vulnerable. And sex felt good. Too good. Especially without a condom. Grace had been right about that.
So I lowered my head and kissed her. Softly at first, then more deeply, urging her to open and let me in. She moaned, pressing her body into mine, and kissed me back. Her breasts pebbled against my chest, her arousal as apparent as mine. Hands explored, touched, roamed while our mouths meshed in renewed need.
It wasn’t more than five minutes later that we were back on that bed, and I was once again buried deep inside her, claiming her, losing myself in her. I was so screwed. She had me now. She owned me. All of me. Even the parts of me I didn’t want to admit I had. I was hers. Forever. No other woman ever had or ever would compare to Grace.
This woman had wrecked me. Completely. She’d won the battle. Now I was floundering around in the aftermath. Defeated. Ruined.
But no longer lost. No longer confused.
No longer scared.
Afterwards, as we lay there, panting, peace settled over me.
And then, the truth struck me. Hard.
Grace had won the spoils of war. The ultimate prize. She’d taken something from me. Something I’d never given to anyone before. Something I hadn’t even realized I had in the first place.
Grace had taken that very thing she’d asked for, that thing I’d been so afraid to give her.
Grace had stolen my heart.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Grace
A knock sounded at my door. Shite.
Tony and I both jumped up, quickly dressing. He avoided my gaze as I glanced at him, obviously uncomfortable. What might have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted? Would Tony have held me like I wanted him to? Or would he have found a reason to leave?
I’d felt a change in him there at the end. An acceptance. Was he done fighting this pull between us? Was he over his issues? Was he willing to accept us now?
I reached the door and pulled it open.
Alissa stood out on the hallway, smiling. She glanced over as Tony came up beside me, her cheeks turning pink, then back at me. “Uh, hi. We’re heading out now. You guys coming?”
I definitely wanted to go. I glanced Tony, who nodded. “I’ll go gather weapons with the other dregs.” He strode out.
“Everything going okay between you two now?” Alissa asked.
I stared at Tony’s departing back. “I think so.” God, I hope so. I turned away. “Let me grab my shoes.”
Several minutes later, the dregs prepared to leave, loaded down with guns and plenty of ammo. Tony was unusually quiet and hung back, keeping his distance from me. Nate sent an irritated glance at Tony, then stepped toward me. He held out a black Taurus.
“Here. You may need a weapon.”
“Thanks.” I tucked the gun in the waist of my pants, sparing a quick glance at Tony. He met my gaze briefly, then glanced away. Was he still processing what had happened between us? Had it scared him?
We all headed down the corridor and into the maze.
Luke and Ryan took the lead, with Nate and Alissa following behind them, and me staying close to Alissa, while Logan and Noah fell into step behind me, and Tony took up the rear, still hanging back. I felt his gaze on me as we all moved forward. Contemplating. What was going on in that head of his? He wasn’t exactly ignoring me, but he wasn’t talking to me, either. Did he still need time and space to deal with us? How long should I give him?
“So, you’re a cop?” Logan asked conversationally as he stepped up to walk beside me. “Bet that’s pretty exciting.” Logan was definitely the sweetheart of the group.
I turned to him with a smile. “You could say that. Though in this small town, there isn’t too much excitement.”
He smiled back. “Did the sparring help you? It’s a great stress relief. I know how hard killing can be. We all suffer some form of PTSD.”
I could imagine that. If the dregs had killed many times in their lives, it could mess them up inside.
Even Tony?
I considered that for a moment.
Especially Tony.
I don’t know why I thought that, I just knew it to be true. Tony acted like a hard ass, but I think deep down he was more sensitive than he let on.
I turned to Logan. “Yes. Thank you. It did help. It’s definitely good therapy.”
“Any time you want to spar, Grace,” Luke called from the front of the group. “I’d be happy to be your partner.”
“Me, too,” Ryan added, turning to wink at me. “I’ll be your partner anytime you want, doll.”
Tony made a growl of protest. It occurred to me then that Luke and Ryan were trying to egg him on, and it was obviously working.
“Sure. I’ll spar with both of you when we get back.”
Tony snagged my arm, bringing me to a halt. Noah and Logan both paused, eyeing Tony warily, while the others kept moving forward, leaving us behind.
“Move on,” Tony told them.
Noah and Logan exchanged a glance. Then they both shrugged and moved off.
Leaving me alone with Tony in the dark tunnel.
“You’ll spar with me when we get back,” he said. “Just me.”
What the feck was his problem? Was he jealous? I snorted and yanked my arm from his grasp. “Feck you, Tony. You don’t get to order me around! I’ll spar with whomever I want!”
His nostrils flared. His eyes darkened. I stared him down.
Luke snickered from down the tunnel. Ryan smacked his arm, and his whisper floated down the corridor, “Lay off man, or he’ll come unglued.”
I marched forward.
Several seconds ticked past before Tony followed. He didn’t say anything, but I felt his anger and frustration billowing off him.
We all reached the surface and headed across the dark forest toward the garage at the back of the mansion. The others all reached the garage before me and Tony.
Nate and Alissa climbed into Nate’s Escalade. Ryan and Luke got into Luke’s Camaro. And Noah and Logan got into Logan’s black truck. Tony paused beside his Ferrari and flicked a glance at me.
“Here. You drive.” He tossed his key fob at me.
What? I was so startled, I barely caught the fob before it hit the ground. I glanced up at him in surprise. “You’re letting me drive?”
He shrugged. “You said you wanted to drive sometime. So, here’s your chance.”
I hesitated. Was this his way of extending an olive branch? Saying he was sorry? Or was he only letting me come along because all the other dregs were now starting their vehicles and pulling out of the garage, leaving him no choice but to let me come with him?
Oh, feck it! If he was letting me drive his Ferrari, I wasn’t going to pass it up.
With a squeal, I hurried to the driver’s side and pulled open the door. Sliding behind the wheel, I marveled at the car’s interior, oohing and aahing at all the fancy gadgets and things. Sure, I’d been in this car once before as a passenger. But now I was sitting behind the wheel of this beauty. And that made a difference. A big difference.
Tony’s eyes danced with amusement as he slid into the passenger’s seat and watched me. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. His presence overwhelmed me like it always did, consuming me. He affected me even when I didn’t want him to.
Tony was letting me be in charge here. Letting me drive. What did that mean?
I didn’t want to read too much into it, so I didn’t.
Instead, I started the car and drove out of the garage. I followed the taillights of the other dregs’ vehicles that were barely visible up ahead. “Should I try to catch up to them?” I asked, glancing askance at Tony.
Tony stared out his window. He answered without looking at me. “No. Doesn’t matter. I know where we’re heading.”
O-kay. I decided to leave him alone with his thoughts and turned back to the dirt road. I sensed he was still reeling from what had happened between us. I certainly was. I was crazy about him. Thinking about him, being with him made my heart sing. Did he care for me, too? I felt in my heart that he did, and I believed he was still trying to come to grips with that.
We drove in silence for several minutes, then I cast another glance at him. “Mind if I turn on some music?”
He shrugged. “Go ahead.”
It was a little over an hour drive to Atlanta. The dregs had agreed to go in pairs to the three separate locations where Darcy might be. Luke and Ryan were going to the mansion that her father had left to her. Noah and Logan were going to her apartment. And Nate and Tony were heading to the facility to watch and wait to see if she emerged from there. If any of the dregs found her, they would notify the others. Alissa and I were supposed to wait in Nate’s Escalade if Nate and Tony had to go inside the building. I liked being part of the action, and though I wasn’t sure if I wanted to encounter hundreds of armed soldiers again, I wanted to be close to Tony in case he needed me. I was prepared to fight if I had to. To kill. Because I sure as hell wasn’t waiting outside if Tony went in.
I cranked the music up, the thump and wail of Adam’s Lambert’s Lucy barreling out of the car’s speakers as we headed down the road. I could no longer see the other dregs’ vehicles in front of us. I imagined they were already on the highway heading to Atlanta.
We came out of the forest, and several minutes later we reached the intersection that lead toward Atlanta. It was almost midnight. Most of the small town was asleep, minimal traffic out. A big, jacked-up truck pulled up behind us at the light, its motor rumbling like a hungry beast. I glanced in my rearview mirror.
My skin crawled.
A truck full of Asians.
Oh shite. Not again.
“Tony!” I smacked his arm. “It’s the Black Dragons! They’re behind us!”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
The Smuggler Page 24
